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LisaMarie7711 Aug 13th 2011 6:02 pm

Homesickness
 
How often do you feel homesick? And how do you deal with it?

commander Aug 13th 2011 6:10 pm

Re: Homesickness
 

Originally Posted by LisaMarie7711 (Post 9557273)
How often do you feel homesick? And how do you deal with it?

I usually watch an episode of river shitty. That sorts out any homesickness.

I actually don't get homesick...I miss home sometimes but not really homesick

Tockalosh Aug 13th 2011 6:11 pm

Re: Homesickness
 
I miss donner kebabs so I go home and eat one, then realise how shit the UK is and jump on the next plane back, simples

If Dxb is now your new home then you cant get home sickness. Go out have a beer and appreciate you are living in a great place that is far better than the UK

If you miss your boyfriend then dump him and get a DXB boyfriend.

If you miss your parents or guardians then tell them to come and visit

Get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourself ;)

Hello.Kitty Aug 13th 2011 6:18 pm

Re: Homesickness
 

Originally Posted by LisaMarie7711 (Post 9557273)
How often do you feel homesick? And how do you deal with it?

hit the gin...

Seriously though, for the first year, I was constantly homesick and just wanted to leave on the next flight. Mr Voice of Reason Kitty would remind me of why we were here, but in the end even he admitted that if I was that unhappy, then maybe I should take a break to go home... which in the end I kind of did by giving birth back in the UK.

Since then, I haven't really been homesick... I occasionally (but less frequently) have Dubai Hate Days, but I've just come to accept that the two places are as different as chalk and cheese - Dubai could never offer what the UK can and vice versa.

I just know that when the time comes to leave Dubai for good, I will be able to do so without looking back, but in the meantime I simply cannot do without my "Sanity Breaks" to the UK... although this summer hasn't been the sanest!

kittycat1 Aug 13th 2011 7:02 pm

Re: Homesickness
 
Hi Lisa,

My entire first year, the first 6 months I had to stop myself getting on the first plane home on pretty much a daily basis. I cried on pretty much a daily basis (and I am not a blubber other than at soppy films) and just couldnt settle in here at all. At 9 months I had made some good friends so it became easier, and at a year i had started to see this as home. Its really hard especially if you are here on your own. The best way of coping is making good friends, I have some fantastic friends here- some through this site, who have kept me sane and have kept me here. I really can't express how important they have been to me. Talking to people about it helps, everyone here has been through it so are all understanding and know exactly how you feel. You have to remember how long it takes to make friends though, you have probably left a good circle of friends at home made up of people you have met over the last god knows how many years and you are starting again from scratch here so give yourself time to meet and build new friendships.

I am here for the money to be honest, and it helped me a lot when I hit a financial milestone which for me was clearing my debt in the UK. Give yourself little targets to reach and it makes you feel like you're here for a reason. Also treat yourself to something nice- treat yourself to a spa day or something that you wouldn't really do in the UK. And also get yourself a hobby to pass your spare time with, I've never had as much spare time as I do here and found it really hard to know what to do with myself, I don't relax very easily and needed a distraction. Once you get past the first 6 months it does get easier and when you go home you realize that not much changes there, and its like you havent been away. I also found the whole concept that your employer essentially owns your ass hard, I came here after being self employed and felt so trapped by the fact I couldnt change my job if I wanted to(I have an incredibly tied contract) and I still find that hard when Im having a bad day. So on those bad days I put myself early to bed and sleep on it as its never as bad the next day.

I assume you are here for a better life one way or another so just try to remember that, and try not to spend too much time on Skype or facebook as the constant reminders of what your life used to be makes it tougher sometimes. Instead get proactive, get out and meet people and try to enjoy it ( hard I know).

This is a horrible time of year, winter is soo much nicer which helps alot too.

I'm just coming up to my 2 year anniversary here and I still miss London terribly, to be honest if I won the lottery I'd be off like a shot. Whenever I go home I have to force myself back on a plane and I then have severe urges to return home for the following couple of weeks, I also have good friends at home going through tough times at the moment which I wish I was at home to support them, however for my own future I know here is right for me at the moment.


Good luck and stick with it! It will get easier in time- sympathetic hug :D

Bluelionesse Aug 13th 2011 7:14 pm

Re: Homesickness
 
Rarely felt homesick - only maybe when my friends are having an event back home which I am having to miss, but that's not real homesickness.

MacScot Aug 13th 2011 7:14 pm

Re: Homesickness
 

Originally Posted by LisaMarie7711 (Post 9557273)
How often do you feel homesick? And how do you deal with it?

Doesn't last long once I've tidied up ! ;):)

Blue Cat Aug 13th 2011 7:39 pm

Re: Homesickness
 

Originally Posted by LisaMarie7711 (Post 9557273)
How often do you feel homesick? And how do you deal with it?

don't go back to the UK in your first year!! bring family and friends here, show them around they will love the place, it will make you feel great to be living somewhere they aren't and then you will appreciate it. It's tough we have all been there but we all get through it.

hnd Aug 13th 2011 11:32 pm

Re: Homesickness
 
We moved out here in 2006 knowing a handful of great people with whom we're still in constant contact - in our early fifties then, retired and with no children. Have just returned from only our second visit back to the UK since then and that was for two milestone birthdays. One was a 100th and the other an 80th.

At the 100th birthday Mr H met up with relatives he hadn't seen for over 30 years. And because we stayed in the area we'd lived in for over 35 years we also caught up with friends we'd only seen once or twice (depending upon whether or not they were around the last time we visited in 2008) since we left. It's unfortunate but the majority of our friends back in the UK can't afford to come and visit us but we all keep in touch on a very regular basis via email and skˆpe. Funnily enough although all of them have computers they won't load skˆpe and we have to skˆpe them through their home land line phone numbers. Go figure.

Those that have been to visit have said that it was great but they wouldn't return - apart from younger sister and her husband who just love coming out to chill with us.

Funnily enough homesickness has never been a problem. Thought it might be after living in the same small Sussex village for so long but our first few months here in DXB were so full of settling in and getting things done that we didn't miss 'home'.

And now that we're in the process of moving yet again - this time to Muscat (although heaven knows when this will happen lol) - we're looking forward to yet another change. And those who've visited us here in Dubai can't wait to come and see us in Muscat, not to mention the friends we've made here.

Funnily enough went to get a haircut at the place I'd had my hair cut for probably the last ten years before we left. Exactly the same salon (not saloon !!!) and the same people and they remembered just how I liked my hair cut so Mr H took a photo so I can show them here! But wandering around the village where we'd lived for so long felt very strange - most of the shops hadn't changed but we just felt that we didn't 'belong' there any more. Even driving past our old home (where we'd lived for 20 years or so) didn't make us feel homesick.

Perhaps we're a bit strange but hope you settle in soon.

mentalist Aug 14th 2011 6:28 am

Re: Homesickness
 
Having spent almost my entire life on the move, the concept of homesickness is alien to me. One of the few things that I miss is not having to be woken up by the horrendous screeching noise emanating from the mosque across the road. The sound of church bells is so much sweeter.

Tillybean Aug 14th 2011 8:08 am

Re: Homesickness
 
I have never been that bothered about not being back in the UK (home) and I guess its because I have always moved around a lot, even as a child, due to my dad being in the Forces, but just recently I have begun to see the UK very much as home and have experienced huge pangs of homesickness.

I just spent three weeks back in the UK seeing friends and family and I have to confess, it took a lot to get me back on the plane to the UAE - but I did, and once back and reimursed over here, I realised that I have a great group of friends over here, I have a hobby that I like which takes up a lot of my time (off-roading) and a job with a company where i have a boss that I like and lots of great co-workers. The money is good, my villa is fab and I pretty much can do as I want.

I know that material goods are not the solution, but the idea of having a treat lined up or something positive to look forward to is great - a night out, a weekend away, an Amazon order being delivered....anything like this works for me.

But some days I get sad and decide to have a duvet/wallow day, and then get bored of hearing myself twitter on about not being back in the UK so get up and do something else. I find writing lists of what I like about here, what keeps me here, what I like in England etc works. There is a definite reason for me to be here - and its not always about the money although that helps - and I appreciate that if I wanted to go home, then I probably could, so I feel as though I am staying by choice which is a great feeling.

So as others have said, get involved in things here, make here your home, invite people to see you, find a group/activity/thing that you enjoy and get involved, have people over, go out etc etc and use the friends that you make to support you - as you will do with them - when you are having a bad day.

mentalist Aug 14th 2011 8:17 am

Re: Homesickness
 

Originally Posted by Tillybean (Post 9558119)
I know that material goods are not the solution, but the idea of having a treat lined up or something positive to look forward to is great - a night out, a weekend away, an Amazon order being delivered....anything like this works for me.

Do Amazon deliver to PO Box addresses then? Does that mean we can buy naughty stuff?;)

irich Aug 14th 2011 8:57 am

Re: Homesickness
 
Been overseas since 2001. Homesickness is a delusory state of mind.

Look forward, not backwards, and live in the now.

Tillybean Aug 14th 2011 9:32 am

Re: Homesickness
 

Originally Posted by mentalist (Post 9558135)
Do Amazon deliver to PO Box addresses then? Does that mean we can buy naughty stuff?;)

They do deliver to a PO Box but Customs may possibly open and remove any items that they deem unfit! I had this happen to me on a DVD and a book. Oops!

Hello.Kitty Aug 14th 2011 11:18 am

Re: Homesickness
 

Originally Posted by irich (Post 9558187)
Been overseas since 2001. Homesickness is a delusory state of mind.

Look forward, not backwards, and live in the now.

oh, well, thanks for that then!

Seriously though, being homesick isn't delusional nor something to just "get over". As human beings, it's a fundamental, instinctive need to "belong" to a group or a community, rooted in pure survival instincts - often, if you were a loner, you didn't live as long as those who had a close-knit tribe (I guess this also applies more when you're a woman).
As such, you can't move on until and unless you feel secure in your new environment.
http://www.timlebon.com/maslow_files/image002.gif


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