Mr. Logic

Seems the ski slope at Mall of the Emirates is set to open shortly. Have read it can take 1500 people at a time (it IS bloody huge). Question is, at AED 150 for a couple of hours, kind of limits it to middle-high incomes. If you look at the population here, not too many from the subcontinent will have the slightest clue what it's about. Likewise the GCC nationals, although they have the money to spend finding out how hard it is and will probably lose patience and interest after a few face-plants. Which just leaves us Brits (and a few aussies and other assorted europeans and septics, apologies if you're reading, but then it is britishexpats.com). Hoping once the initial novelty wears off there should be plenty of space for those of us who are really into it and see it as a chance to get ski-fit for the winter hols.

What does everyone think? Am I hallucinating and will it actually be constantly mobbed by clueless Kamikaze pilots in dish-dashes and a constant stream of ambulances outside??

CasaNova

Welcome to the site.


Looks like its humour season.




They just need a chance dont they?

Mr. Logic

They're all welcome to their shot at winter sports greatness, I for one will enjoy watching that. Bring on the 2022 Dubai Winter Olympics, Italian leather sandals compulsory to give the host nation a chance.

Fairydust

You are just too funny

BurpusMe

Since the indoor-skiing was announced I've been counting the days till my burning question is answered.

"Can they ski any better than they drive?"

I'm hoping the answer is "Not at all" so I can go there on Thursdays mornings and watch the gore over a coffee and bagel.

shoushou

They will slap a Land Cruiser badge on their backs and tailgate us all the way down the slopes......

Autonomy

While holding 2 flashing 10,000 watt halogen lamps and wearing wrap around tinted sunglasses...

shoushou

Dont forget;One bare foot on an imaginary dashboard.....

Welivehere

whilst carrying a small screaming child....

Autonomy

[humour mode is turned on - hopes not to be condemed as a racist]

Dubai Ski Slope - Rules and Etiquette

1) All Emerati and GCC residents have 100% right of way at all times. They also have the right to exceed 160 kmph, make unexpected manouvers, indicate a direction of travel and then go in the opposite direction, ensure other skiers are aware of their prescence by using the klaxons and halogen lamps (provided by management for GCC nationals only), wear more than 30% tinted sunglasses.

2) All Indian subcontinent skiers must travel in threes only. They are only allowed to ski after 2am and before 6am and should not been seen at any time outside of these hours. There shall be no breaks allowed and all skiers must ski continuously during these hours.

3) All Filipino and Russian female skiers must be aware that attention from all male skiers is to be expected and tollerated fully. If propositioned the skiers must accompany the male skier for whatever reason. They may well be paid for this and should in no way be mistaken for payment for services rendered. This in no way should be taken as a demeaning act of male assumptions.

4) All Lebanese skiers must be within 5cm of the skier in front at all times, unless Budoir / Sho Cho's are opening in which case they must vacate the slope immediately.

5) All Western Expats must observe the following - If ski-ing the expats must at all times act annoyed and frustrated with the lack of respect shown to them. They must constantly "tut" and gesture about the lack of manners shown. They should never forget that they are better than everyone else on the slope and if it wasn't for them there would be no ski slope, mall, roads, cars, power, buildings or wars. Should the expat choose to not ski and observe the slopes then they must drink excessive alcohol, wear revealing clothes, shout about "if you don't like it then leave", urinate in public and abuse all other skiers not within their Western Expat Skier Club. On no account should the expat ever attempt to make the situation any different other than writing to 7DAYS or posting on internet message boards.

Kind regards,

The Management

Welivehere

Excellent - Truely K worthy however:

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Autonomy again." - So it will have to be an IOU

ZooZ

it is ok... i gave autonomy Karma on your behalf... uo me two now...
ZooZ

ZooZ

Following the latest developements in Dubai, ME Economist van see a growth potential for investments the following businesses:
1- Ski shop
2- Deluxe Ski Shop
3- Super Deluxe Ski Shop
4- Super Duper Deluxe Ski Shop
5- Ski Boutique
6- Exclusive Ski Boutique
7- Very Exclusive Ski Boutique

It is also speculated, that once the existing technologies have been employed, the following products will potentially hit the market adding a great value to the local economy:
1- Ski accessories: Headlights, fog lights, dashboards (or foot rests), Hornes, big tyres etc
2- Siver Plated Ski
3- Gold Plated Ski
4- Solid Silver Ski
5- Bi-metal Ski
6- Solid Gold Ski
7- Solid Gold Ski with embedded Diamonds

However, the following business will find it hard to operate:
1- Ski School
....unless it is supported by the Russian Employement Agency...

The ME Economical Analyst.

shiva

Brilliant guys, unfortunately...i gotta spread my love...sorry

Welivehere

The ME Economical Analyst have also announced that anybody considering investments should also consider stocks in the following industries:
1) Hospitals
2) Medical suppliers
3) Ambulance manufacturers
4) Plaster manufacturers
5) Pain killer manufacturers and pharmacies

Industries to be avoided are:
1) Medical insurance
2) Ski Schools (....unless it is supported by the Russian Employment Agency...)