jinoman

Hi me and my wife are considering another child but have been unsuccessful in our attempts for the past two years. As we already have our first child we won't be eligible for NHS treatment and have to come up with our own private arrangement.

My question is, since we are planning to do our move to muscat in August, wondering whether it would be a good idea to get this done in UK whilst we are here or should we consider doing this in Muscat to avoid the rush with only less than two months in hand..

I do understand and realise that this is something that needs proper thought and careful considerations, so really appreciate if people with such experience can share their views.


Thanks

OriginalSunshine

Well, I certainly wouldn't recommend trying a private treatment (unless you already know where the problem lies) in two months prior to an international relocation. That kind of thing is stressful enough as it is, and I have met too many couples who have had miscarriages during a relocation with the stress of the relocation.

Muscat does have treatment centres, but the couples I know who have had treatment successfully have all gone to Dubai (but I'm afraid I don't know the names of the clinics they used). As I'm sure you're aware, fertility or lack of is a bit like "fight club" - first rule and all that. You get to know about other people because you drop little hints, and those that know, they know, those that don't know, don't know.

But don't start fertility investigations until you have relocated. One step at a time.

NorthernLad

Bourn Hall Clinic in Dubai is a good one.

jinoman

Thanks OS & NL, makes sense in terms of doing one thing at a time. With no knowledge of practical experiences on this, we were purely driven by the theory from NHS and taking into account that our biological clock is also ticking fast, hence the consideration.

Had a quick look on the Bourn hall website, do appear to be very professional and seem to know what they are doing! A bit more expensive than in UK but as long as everything ends well.

OriginalSunshine

umm, well, it doesn't always. took us 7 years (aged 25 - 32yrs old), 2 miscarriages, multiple invasive internal treatments (me), 1 IVF, 2 ICSI and nothing.


http://www.bournhall-clinic.ae/faqs/

That's not a typo. 8%.
And 32% sounds good if you are under 35 until you become one of the almost 70% for whom it doesn't work.



(however, we were the incredibly rare and lucky ones, where, after we had stopped for a few months, and the doctor had told us we wouldn't ever have natural kids because my egg quality was so poor, and the previous miscarriage had cleaned out a load of old scar tissue and endometriosis, I got pregnant naturally)

NorthernLad

The treatment here is a lot cheaper than the UK, I think Bourn Hall is around 40,000dh for the whole cycle. But the first step is just a consult, you don't necessarily need the full IVF treatment.

It took us eight years to hit the jackpot, it's very stressful but worth it in the end.

shiva

Do not even think about starting before you leave the UK. Unless you plan to cancel the Muscat move.
It will be the single most heartbreaking stressful and debilitating thing you ever do. That may or may not be worth it in the end.

Try Bourn Hall in Dubai or Dubai Fertility Centre. The costs are roughly the same but Bourn hall is much much nicer (it wasnt here when we did IVF)

It is a very very long and shitty road with very little chance of success.

That said, we persevered in the face of near certain failure and now have an amazing 3 year old son. We've no house or savings left but I'd gladly give away everything I have and do it again. In fact we almost certainly will in the next 12 months.

Biggest tips I can give are zero smoking or drinking for either of you, top class personal health, diet and fitness and get the wifes vitamin d3 levels checked. If they are low dont even think about trying anything until they are at the upper end of the normal range.

The odds are so against you that to maximise your chances you have to take every little thing that helps and do them all.

There are now a number of genetic screening and embryo development options in the UK that are just starting that are not yet available here that can increase the odds as high as 70% in your favour so it may be worth considering which is more important to you, family or work before making a move here.

BEVS

Y'know. It really , honestly gladdens my heart when I read of the successes.

I shan't bore you all with the details but we never managed more, in the end, than two cats and a couple of ducks.

It still breaks my heart really, deep down inside of me.

NorthernLad

Good advice - we started out on the IVF path thinking it was a done deal. The first three failed attempts were very, very tough. At that point we changed clinic and they gave us the cold truth, the odds are massively stacked against you. That said, we had one last crack at it and it worked.

We have more and more friends who are having to go down this route, maybe it's modern lifestyles. Some have worked, some have not, my advice would be not to to wait if you are serious about it.

shiva

this is way more important than anyone ever says

larabrown

As everyone is saying you need to consult private Gynecologist, he will guide you.

BEVS

Yes.

jinoman

Shiva,

First, a very well done and congrats to both of you for your perserverance and patience. Although our attempt will be for the second child, we did go through some thing similar before we had our first child, she is 6 now but luckily it happened naturally after 4 years!

As you might have guessed, I don't think we have the luxury of time anymore as it has to be in the next two years or never. My wife has already gone through few rounds of endometriosis, sperm analysis for me etc.. all in the past three years and nothing fruitful. This is when we wondered probably this is related to work stress and also the constant pressure related to career & UK weather etc.. all combined is probably not helping us for some reason. Hence, we felt a change of place and environment might help for both a natural attempt or for even anything like IVF. Frankly, the position I have accepted is a big compromise on my career but I'm hoping that this will put me in a much more relaxed state of mind.

In terms of general health, we are both non-smokers, I'm a regular runner but an occasional drinker. My wife was diagnosed recently with iodine deficiency and hence is taking some supplements for this. About the medical developments in UK, I think we prefer to try something that has been long established even if it means lesser chance, the last thing that I'd want is a new complication, if you know what I mean.

Thanks to all others who have stressed the importance of time, we certainly realise that and would probably commence this process later this year once we have few months of lifestyle established in Muscat.

Cheers
J

larabrown

Congratulations........dont take so much of stress....Everything will be fine.....Have a faith and be happy and make others happy...

One more thing,please consult good gynaecologist in UK.

jinoman

Thanks LB, sure we want to try and stay positive during this period. We have stopped Gynae visits almost a year now. It is been only our local GP consultation and the relevant blood tests at the appropriate times.