Cherrypie

I couldn't believe this story, told to me by a friend of mine who has just returned from Dubai. She was out there with her husband for 3 months...he was buying some property.

Anyway, she is British (born and brought up in UK) but of Asian origin. Says she saw an article in Time Out about toddler swimming sessions at the Dubai Country Club. So, she thought she'd go along with her 18 month old.

This was her experience... The pool was full of white mothers, no-one spoke to her or acknowledged her presence... they all grouped together into one corner of the pool and she said that most of the time they had their backs turned to her. She tried to make eye-contact and smiled a few times but was blanked. She says she had most of the pool to herself, virtually all through the session.

Same thing in the changing rooms. Once or twice a few of "their" toddlers smiled at her or wandered towards her daughter but were quickly hurried away or scooped up by their mums.

Needless to say, my friend was gutted by the way she was treated...she's never experienced anything like this in the UK...so what the hell's going on in Dubai?

joseph.creative

hmmm not good. sounds like old style Alabama... have u looked at putting this on expat woman to see their opinion?

ok.. cat amongst pidgeons.

Cherrypie

Haven't posted on that site in a long while but yes, I think I might. I wouldn't be surprised if they deleted the thread, they are so into censoring everything...but may be worth it.

Joolsbean

....is that although a lot of people here in Dubai call themselves "expats" they are not travelled expats. They have moved here from the UK or other home town and have not experienced being in the same situation as your friend. I have just moved here from Indonesia and had travelled lots before that, my children are "International", they speak to any children whatever colour they are....children do.
Tribes tend to stick with tribes, its an in-built thing, it is not until members of that tribe see that there is another world out there with interesting and intelligent people that may not be the same colour, religion etc.
On the otherside of the coin, without wanting to upset anymore people tonight, is that sometimes people feel intimidated, however friendly the new person is. I let this happen to me a lot, which is why I come across brash and unfriendly at times, it is not something I particularly like about myself.
If there is a white person and a coloured person I wll always errr towards the white person, I don't know why, I don't mean to be rude or ignorant but sometimes it comes across that way.

Cherrypie

Just posted it.

Truth Speak

Needless to say, my friend was gutted by the way she was treated...she's never experienced anything like this in the UK...so what the hell's going on in Dubai?[/QUOTE]

CP - the problem here is the British - myself included. I have worked abroad for over 20 years and the sad truth is that more often than not we embarass ourselves by our own actions. (ever been to Ibitha or the Costa del Sol)

We can be arrogant and ignorant, wanting every country to cater for our "home needs". Instead we should get stuck in to whatever culture surrounds us and not become a product of our present situation. What I see here is not a one off - it happens in many countries where the Brits group - we create groups in which to cacoon ourselves and then shut the rest of the world out - generally shunning them as in yr msg above. (We cacoon ourselves in our own version of little England.)

Glad to get that off my chest - time for a G & T - my own version of little England.



I suppose I should now duck!!

Cherrypie

This is good and well. But she's never experienced it in the UK and surely values shouldn't change because the country changes. I went to an all-girls private school in England...I was the only non-white in the whole year but I never, ever experienced racism or felt excluded because of my skin colour. This has also been my experience throughout adulthood in the UK. The people we meet in the UK are surely the same sort who move out to Dubai...

Erring towards a white person is one thing, ganging up into a little clique is quite another. Also, I don't see how a lone new-comer can intimidate a group who know each other already. It's not something you would expect from educated, middle-class women...which are the types who frequent the Dubai Country Club... especially as they are in a non-white country in the first place..

It's just awful.

Cherrypie

CP - the problem here is the British - myself included. I have worked abroad for over 20 years and the sad truth is that more often than not we embarass ourselves by our own actions. (ever been to Ibitha or the Costa del Sol)

We can be arrogant and ignorant, wanting every country to cater for our "home needs". Instead we should get stuck in to whatever culture surrounds us and not become a product of our present situation. What I see here is not a one off - it happens in many countries where the Brits group - we create groups in which to cacoon ourselves and then shut the rest of the world out - generally shunning them as in yr msg above. (We cacoon ourselves in our own version of little England.)

Glad to get that off my chest - time for a G & T - my own version of little England.



I suppose I should now duck!![/QUOTE]

That's a really interesting perspective. I'm not a seasoned expat like you, so wasn't aware of this sort of thing happening. Thought Ibiza/ Costa Del Sol etc. was a result of Brits getting drunk and making a nuisance of themselves...a far cry from middle-class mums in Dubai...

Joolsbean

...but it is like that in the UK. I go back now and if the neighbour is black they don't know the name if they are white they do.
Maybe some feel elite I don't know, I have heard rumours though about the DCC being clicky maybe that is a stipulation on the membership form.
If your friend only went once maybe she didn't put herself across as well as she thought. I mean did she expect people to flock to her. I don't mean to sound brash AGAIN but I have to say that coming from down SE UK they are just not going to behave in that way. Harsh but true.
I used to run the swimming club at the International Sports Club of Indonesia, we had all shapes, sizes and colours coming in, but it is just something I got used to, a person is a person. I would try and get them introduced and involved, I have to say we had a good group of people, who wouldn't hesitate to include. I must admit I didn't get the same feeling from the DCC when I went up for a day.

joseph.creative

okay.. let us know the score...

TS... i always get very embaressed when away due to this nation (UK). somethingin the attitude when they are on holiday! so do agree big time!

Truth Speak

That's a really interesting perspective. I'm not a seasoned expat like you, so wasn't aware of this sort of thing happening. Thought Ibiza/ Costa Del Sol etc. was a result of Brits getting drunk and making a nuisance of themselves...a far cry from middle-class mums in Dubai...[/QUOTE]

One of my compatriots has just moved from devon to the Costa del Sol - he works in Dubai - his family stay in Spain now - and they are having a very hard time of it.Not from the locals but the Brits who don't like new comers and give no mercy.

Ever walked into a British country village pub and felt like a gold fish in a bowl!!

LakesLassie

Although your story apalls me, it doesn't surprise me. I've only been here a little over a year and the racism I have seen is amazing. I've heard of a bunch of mums going to the new Kings school as it's British passport only and complaining about the number of Indians - I kid you not! I also met the most apalling English woman at a coffee morning (reminded me of why I don't normally do those) complaining about our children being taight Arabic from Grade 1 as "we don't ram our stuff down their throats".

Wahat amazes me is that as Dubai is such a melting pot of races, nationalities & cultures, what do these people expect? I'm delighted that my son isn't at a British passprt only school - he's the only British child in his class. And by the way the standard of the other kids' English is great so that argument doesn't work.

Makes me embarassed to be British when I hear stories like that - like you, I never saw anything like that in the UK.

Lucrezia

okay before I start I am British - grew up in the UK, normal middleish class family yaddah yaddah yaddah. Have travelled extensively and lived abroad now for 14 years. Spent last 10 years in the UAE, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Fujeirah and Al Ain. Now in Doha. There is a certain type of Brit over here. Generally in my experience race hasn't mattered although Brits do tend to stick to their own as do NZ, Aus, US and Canadians. What has mattered is what job my husband does, where we live, how much we earn etc etc etc and I have been made to feel very much the outsider in spite of how hard I've tried to belong. Eventually you find the right kind of group to belong to - mine's usually the outsider type of group, ie I'm not tall, stick thin, don't wear what's considered de rigeur???? generally a bit scruffy and doing my own thing. Am sick of being made to feel crap by a group of women who generally should know better. Lots of people say and have always said about life in the middle east that - give 'them' a nice house/villa, gardener, house maid- hate that term and a bit of extra cash which allows them access to recreation they can only dream of at 'home' and they turn into - to go back to another thread - Jumeriah Janes or whatever. They all seem so confident and self-assured. Very sad really. Good luck to them but life's too short to be like that in my opinion. And no I am not bitter, just resigned to being a 'plain Jane'. Go out and make a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Desert Mermaid

Its terrible but some westerners think asian woman in 5 star hotel equals maid Makes me sick

LakesLassie

Already been "removed".