MataHari

mr MH and myself have decided to call it a day...
now, we live in a villa that's rented by his employer and they have agreed to rent 2 villas for us, which is ok. It's just that mr MH has decided that he wants to live in Jumeira and as prices there are higher than in Mirdif (where I will stay), he needs more money for his villa than I do. Our current villa is 220,000, and he's told me I will get 60,000 - 70,000 and he will take the rest and if I want to spend more, I will have to put in extra money myself, just as he will have to do.
I am just wondering if that is something he will be able to do, he seems to think he can, where as I had assumed that it would be more a 50/50 type split.
The problem may be that the housing thing isn't part of his salary, he doesn't get an allowance as such, he has his salary and then everything else (villa rent, Dewa, schoolfees, phonebill, medical, flights, petrol etc) gets paid by the company.

I am meant to talk to a lawyer later today, but as we are getting divorced under Dutch law, and this person isn't aware of what things are like over here, I will need to make sure it's clear things aren't like 'back home'.

lullabelle

Sorry to hear that.

Do you have kids? I would have thought that the person who houses the kids would get more money as they will need more space. My friend is in this position now - she's moving to a smaller villa and he's taking an apartment nearby. Because the two boys will be with her most of the time she is getting the bigger allowance.

BUT it's not a company villa so maybe that makes all the difference...

Btw we found a couple of Jumeirah villas for 120,000 - we put an ad in Dubizzle. In the end we didn't go for it either of them as we wanted to go even cheaper. And we found an arenco in Jumeirah 1 for even less direct from them...

I hope it all works out.

Ethos83

I am sorry to hear of your difficulties.

I do wonder as to what your status will be once divorced? Your husband would no longer be able to sponsor you. Will you be sponsored separately by your company?

If you're no longer married to your husband it makes me wonder what kind of arrangements your husband's company is willing to make regarding paying for your housing. Is it an international company? A local company?
Just make sure any agreements on dividing his salary and benefits is written on paper and duly notarised.

It does seem iffy to have to rely on your ex husband for a housing allowance out here. What happens if he decides to leave the UAE?

mentalist

Sorry to hear your news, MH...and that sentiment comes from Lionheart too. For what its worth, I agree that, if you are looking after the kids, you should get a much better share. After all, your ex won't need much more than a bachelor pad, surely? However, the judicial system here does seem to favour the males in the household. Who gets to keep the family pets? Anyway, good luck and I hope it all works out well for you in the end.

MataHari

thanks....

the youngest will have her main residence with me, the boys (16 and 18) will mainly stay with my husband. For the boys, cause of their ages, there isn't going to be any strict arrangement in place as to visiting times etc, they will basically just have two homes that they can stay at, but as their schools are in the Jumeira area practically speaking during schoolweeks they will be with their dad.

It's an international company. I just wonder how it will work with regards to my alimony payment, cause if they will just take his salary without taking all his extras in consideration, it will seriously affect the amount I will be getting, and it will mean that everything that was paid for before, I will now have to pay for myself (Dewa, phone, flights, medical etc).

it's all a bit of a nightmare, and yes, it will become very complicated if he decides to leave, but as far as I know, we all should be here for another 1 or 2 years.

oh, I will take the cats for sure, lol...

Alexa

Sorry to hear that MH, hope all goes well for you.
Sorry can't be of help with your questions.

Welivehere

Ditto, nothing to add apart for a sorry and the best of luck getting everything resolved....

Norm_uk

Am sorry to hear this - I have recently had need to contact a British lawyer based locally regarding some fine print stuff I've had issue with from my local divorce two years ago...if you need a recommendation PM me and I'll pass her details over to you.

Best of luck - I hope whatever the reasons the split is amicable and some semblance of normal, friendly relations can be salvaged - I've been there and it's not easy.

N.

scrubbedexpat141

Sorry to hear, I'm from a divorced set of folks, your children are lucky enough to be older and so will hopefully understand a bit more (I was 5).

Few questions, some maybe will be me being nosey, some are maybe going to make you think and double check stuff.

Is it normal over here for the housing to still be provided if you are not legally married / together?

What's to stop them taking it away in 6 months?

Can / does your employer not provide any of this?

Are you legally entitled to a portion of his future salary, is that just this countries way of him paying 'maintenance'?

Millhouse

This isn't nice

But - a question in my mind, can a dutch divorce settlement be enforced here?

don't worry about the kids MH - I'm from a broken home... it did me no harm

Bob

No advice, but sorry to hear that

TGFKASE

Sorry to hear that, MH....

Since the rent, DEWA etc are not part of his salary, but part of his overall package, I would say that, technically, any monies he gives you as rent etc would be part of the overall alimony payment that he makes to you.

His child support payments would likely be calculated on his salary, less allowances, and there is a chance that his employer moves him from a married status package to a single status package, if they were to feel so inclined. That would have an effect on his allowances too...

Spugsy

Sorry to hear that pet, but I'm sure you're doing it for the right reasons and it's the right thing to do.

I know nowt about this sort of thing, but I'd think as he's the man, and we're in a muslim country, and he's the breadwinner (I think) then he can probably do what he likes?

I hope it works out anyway, you're a top lass.

Bahtatboy

Scamp, ignore him. He's a serial troll. Was wondering how long it would take his empty head to pop up. It'll pan out one of two ways: he'll piss off of his own accord because he'll be ignored, or he'll pipe up and get banned yet again.

MH: hope it works out well for you.

MataHari

no, it's not normal I would think, but mr MH has been with this company for almost 20 years, so I guess that since they brought us over here, they may sort of feel an obligation to help out a bit. If they wouldn't, it could mean my husband would have to leave Dubai which might not suit them.
But even so, there is a risk involved for me to have to rely on this.

No, my company won't provide any of this due to the nature of my job.

According to Dutch law, he will have to support me for 12 years.