EnglishRose15

I have not been on this thread for a while, some of you may recall that I have been in Aus for 16 years with husband and have been wanting to return home for most of that time. last year I suffered a serious bout of depression and this led me to realise that my husband was never going to want to go to the uk as he is the one with family ties here, so in april/may I went back for a visit on my own and made a real effort to catch up with friends as well as family and give myself a real feel of what life could be like over there. I found it so difficult to leave, particularly my mum who is 83 and has got very frail since I was there 18 months ago.

This led to my current decision, when I got back I told my husband that I was going to move back home and he would just have to make his own decision, because I would not wait for him anymore, the past weeks have been stormy, but I have stuck to my guns and now booked my one way ticked for 2nd September. I am not sure what my husband will do, he says he wants to come, but I am giving him some time to think it over properly as I dont want him with me if he is going to be negative, and he will stay here and sell our house.

It is scary but surprisingly liberating to get to the point of making my own decision for me. Wish me luck!

alipally

I wish you all the luck in the world English Rose.....

Though I'm a little concerned that you are prepared to lose what you have in order to get what you want ..... I really hope that he comes along with you.

He also realises that what he has is worth the scacrifice of where he lives.

Merseygirl

I wish you the best of luck with your decision - it takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing. I hope your husband comes around but sometimes you have to put yourself first, it's no good staying somewhere that makes you feel depressed. Keep us posted on how things go!

I like tea

I wish you all the luck in the world and really hope everything works out well for you.

I wish I had been brave enough to do the same as I had post natal depression with my second child 30 years ago and all I wanted to do was go home to family and friends. My selfish ex husband wouldn't put me first instead just wanted his own way, to live in Oz.

34 years later I'm still here mainly due to family commitments and an expensive divorce. I'm still working to save for my retirement and hope to relocate back to the UK soon.

If your husband can't put your well being and health as his main priority he's not worth it.

quoll

Wow ER! You GO! Girl!!!

So we never will get that cup of tea in Ballarat, what a shame, but I am so thrilled for you that you have made the decision and are prepared to stick to your guns. I hope everything works out just brilliantly for you.

We will be arriving in UK on 1 September but I know that my heart will be breaking on 26 October when I will have to get on the plane to return. I am going to do my best to persuade the DH that he CAN live in UK, that the sky wouldnt fall and that we could have a great life there but as he is only prepared to come for 5 weeks (wouldnt stay for the 8 weeks that DS and family and I were going to stay) I doubt I am going to have much luck. I do hope your DH is much more sensible than mine and values the people in his life more than the place!

Mummy in the foothills

You are very brave Englishrose Good Luck

Barbara1133

I'm in awe of your courage!!! I'm going home on August 10 after 30 years in the US, but I only have myself to worry about. No matter what your husband does, and I seriously doubt he'll throw away a marriage just like that, you need to see your mum. If she is frail, you need to spend time with her. You will never, ever forgive yourself if you don't. And you will make her twilight years the happiest of her life, I would imagine.

All the very best to you, EnglishRose.

Yilt

I'm certainly wishing you luck. You're a very brave individual indeed. If he loves you, then he'll come back with you. I don't see the point in living somewhere and being miserable, life's too short. Good luck !

Beedubya

Oh all the very bestest English Rose, talk about bittersweet.

Don't forget to post your flight details on the tracker thread.

charleygirl

Oh the very best of luck English Rose, in a similar position in a way, have to go to save myself!
My mum is 89 and frail too, missed her for way too long.

brits1

Wishing you loads of luck, hopefully things will turn out just how you want them to, you deserve to be happy and by the sounds of things you have put everyone first before yourself (which for most mothers etc that it usually the case) life does have a way of working out one way or another, just take each day as it comes, stay positive and if you do have some "down" days think of all the good things you want to do with your life, everyone deserves a bit of "my time"...well now its yours..and if your OH has any sense (no offence meant) then he will be following on to join you asap. Best of wishes to you.....

EnglishRose15

Thank you all so much, most of the time I don't feel brave, but after struggling with this issue for so many years, I do know it is the right thing, it came to the point where the pain of staying here, was stronger than the fear of leaving and I am so glad to be doing it. My husband has come round to the idea, but I am still insisting on going on my own first so that I can have some me-time before any major decisions are made, I believe after 16 years of putting him and his family first, I deserve that.

Sorry Quoll we won't get that cuppa in Ballarat, but a Cuppa in Swindon is on the cards if you are ever in that area!

Good luck to all of you who are struggling with your own situations, believe me, making the decision is the hard part.
Big hugsxxxx

quoll

Hmm, Swindon??? Not sure I can negotiate the magic roundabout LOL. Heading to Dinton in October though hopefully to show the d-i-l her family origins

Sherlock Holmes

The best of luck to you. I live about 250ks west of Ballarat. Cold there isn't it?? Yuck

I have no family left so moving here to be with Ozzie wife was easy.

I can guess how liberated you feel. Well done for sticking to your guns.

Cheers,

A.

EnglishRose15

LOL Quoll, us Swindonites love the Magic Roundabout!