Englishmum

My spouse and I have been living on different continents for the past 31/2 years; in September 2008 he took up a new expat posting in Singapore whilst I stayed on in New Jersey. That's a 24 hour flight!

He's a bit closer now - he relocated to Switzerland last July

I see him every 8 weeks or so, I usually fly out to where he is (sometimes in London if he's working there) and he sometimes comes over to NJ and will work out of the office in Manhatten.

We have a strong marriage though and kids have grown up. I'm planning to apply for US citizenship this Spring - so have to be physically present in the US for 6 months per annum - and crossing fingers that it will come through sometime this year.....then I'm out of here

I'm doing this as my son (who will also apply for US citizenship) plans to stay in the US for good, whereas our daughter lives in Greater London. I want the flexibility to come and go at will rather than in future being limited to 90 day tourist visa-waivers.....one day I may wish to have extended trips to see my son.

I used to go for coffee mornings with expat women in Singapore. One Scottish lady told me that her husband was in the shipping industry (allied to offshore oil rigs etc.) and would be in places like Azerbaijhan for months at a time. She basically raised her kids almost as a single parent and now that they'd grown up and she'd moved to be with her spouse full-time, she found it rather difficult! Another friend of mine has relocated back to England and is happy that her spouse now has a contract in the Middle East, he works a few weeks there and returns to the UK for a couple of weeks before returning. She has 4 kids but actually prefers it when her spouse is back in the ME (both women had their own routines....as do I when I'm in New Jersey)

usoruk

we live with the in laws and have one car, hubby borrows his parents car for work and I feel trapped in NJ also!!!

miami078

Getting citizenship is definitely beneficial and means it is easier to come and go from the country. Its also good to hear stories of people who have managed to maintain long distance relationship although not ideal it can be necessary in some cases. Usoruk - I am sorry to hear about your situation and sounds very much like ours when we first moved over here which again was a necessity at the time but also can be hard psychologically. However if we need to do so for a few months I guess we could but definitely not beyond a temporary measure. I agree it is easy to feel trapped without being able to go and visit your own family or friends for a bit of break and time to yourself. I hope things aren't too hard for you. Whereabouts in NJ are you?

canadian_critic

Seems to be like that with everything. Brits seem to get a raw deal compared with their US counterparts. We get made to jump through hoops to get what they get served up on a plate. Look at the number of VPs a typical american company has. In a British company they don't really have such levels, but if they did it would typically be one person. It's also laughable because you get titles like CEO and find out it's some spotty geek. Coming back to the "Professor" title I think in Britain it is an official academic rank that goes with a job. The US term is more descriptive and I think more consistent with the rest of the world apart from Britain.

The_English_Bride

It's amazing how many couples live apart, but sometimes it cannot be helped. Personally, I would consider every option before thinking about living apart. Being with my family is more important to me than my career and most other things.

I got a job, any job, right after I graduated and I am still here 4 1/2 years later. I like it less and less every day and want to quit as soon as possible, but i've done it because we were not ready to move to the UK yet as a family. As miserable as I have been at times, it never crossed my mind to go back by myself.

I have recently considered getting a job and moving with my son ahead of my husband while he waits for his spouse visa, but only because I know he can get it fairly quickly after applying. I don't like it, but I do see it as an option with a very clear and near end in sight.

Good luck to you, OP! I know your situation is far from ideal.