Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
Aug 23rd 2006, 11:33 am
#1
Guest
Posts: n/a
Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
Well the title says most of the issue.
I'm a U.S.C. and we are (were) 3 weeks away from the AOS interview
(have received the appointment letter). Without getting too too dirty
and detailed, she has been unhappy since we returned (with her K1) to
the US from Canada in April/06. There were arguments because she
basically has complained or commented every single day, even during the
long drive back here, that she thinks Canada would be better. Now I
spent 3 mos. there but I have a son here who missed me very much and
who I would never leave the country on. This is all well known prior to
the marriage, of course. So we arrive and after she "cold feets" out of
the first wedding date, we marry one week later in May. Since the
wedding it has been pure hell living with her. Everything and anything
is an excuse to go back to Canada (i.e.; the dogs are going to get tick
bites, I can't handle the heat, it's too expensive, the job market
sucks, ad nauseum..)
Ultimately after 3 days and nights of basically living seperately on 2
levels of the house, she says on the last morning that she is going to
the store for groceries and returns an hour later escorted by 2 police
cruisers. The cops ask me to step outside and then proceed to say that
she has given a statement and asked them to come while she grabs her
belongings and leaves. She alleges that I was abusive and that she
doesn't "feel safe" in my house.
Now folks, this is pure crap. Not because I'm the one writing this, but
only because it's her M.O. in general. So for 1.5 HOURS, the police
stand "guard" whilst she packs things, puts on makeup, feeds the dogs,
etc. They are requesting ME to load her car for her to "speed things
along". At some point I state that all of my gold jewelry is missing
including my wedding band (which was on the dresser), and that she has
my brand new laptop in her hands that I am holding the receipt for
along with my divorce decree from a previous marriage, my birth
certificate, and the marriage license. The police ask if it's true and
she argues the posessions and then claims the documents are packed away
deep in the minivan.
They let her leave because it's "marital stuff" and not "their
department". I tell them that I doubt she will return them and that I
expect her to leave the country, and of course be unable to return.
They let her go.
So now she is exiting the US and I am out of about $4000.00 worth of my
stuff. However, she has also left here an entire house full of her
stuff with no established means to come back and get it.
Now the questions:
*Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
intentions on her part?
*Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
premise of her K1 visa?
*How the hell do I get divorced?
*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
I won't say more in this post but please question away and I will
answer honestly- this has me reeling. I've never been through something
so over-the-top and have little idea on how to proceed.
I'm a U.S.C. and we are (were) 3 weeks away from the AOS interview
(have received the appointment letter). Without getting too too dirty
and detailed, she has been unhappy since we returned (with her K1) to
the US from Canada in April/06. There were arguments because she
basically has complained or commented every single day, even during the
long drive back here, that she thinks Canada would be better. Now I
spent 3 mos. there but I have a son here who missed me very much and
who I would never leave the country on. This is all well known prior to
the marriage, of course. So we arrive and after she "cold feets" out of
the first wedding date, we marry one week later in May. Since the
wedding it has been pure hell living with her. Everything and anything
is an excuse to go back to Canada (i.e.; the dogs are going to get tick
bites, I can't handle the heat, it's too expensive, the job market
sucks, ad nauseum..)
Ultimately after 3 days and nights of basically living seperately on 2
levels of the house, she says on the last morning that she is going to
the store for groceries and returns an hour later escorted by 2 police
cruisers. The cops ask me to step outside and then proceed to say that
she has given a statement and asked them to come while she grabs her
belongings and leaves. She alleges that I was abusive and that she
doesn't "feel safe" in my house.
Now folks, this is pure crap. Not because I'm the one writing this, but
only because it's her M.O. in general. So for 1.5 HOURS, the police
stand "guard" whilst she packs things, puts on makeup, feeds the dogs,
etc. They are requesting ME to load her car for her to "speed things
along". At some point I state that all of my gold jewelry is missing
including my wedding band (which was on the dresser), and that she has
my brand new laptop in her hands that I am holding the receipt for
along with my divorce decree from a previous marriage, my birth
certificate, and the marriage license. The police ask if it's true and
she argues the posessions and then claims the documents are packed away
deep in the minivan.
They let her leave because it's "marital stuff" and not "their
department". I tell them that I doubt she will return them and that I
expect her to leave the country, and of course be unable to return.
They let her go.
So now she is exiting the US and I am out of about $4000.00 worth of my
stuff. However, she has also left here an entire house full of her
stuff with no established means to come back and get it.
Now the questions:
*Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
intentions on her part?
*Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
premise of her K1 visa?
*How the hell do I get divorced?
*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
I won't say more in this post but please question away and I will
answer honestly- this has me reeling. I've never been through something
so over-the-top and have little idea on how to proceed.
Aug 23rd 2006, 12:21 pm
#2
Septicity
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 23,762
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
*Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
intentions on her part?
No idea. You provide insufficient and one-sided information.
*Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
premise of her K1 visa?
I'm sure you can write them, but why bother? It's mainly her problem now. Your intervention can do little good.
*How the hell do I get divorced?
This is State specific so use Google to find the info for your neck o' the woods. There will be a set procedure if you do not know her address
*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
Store it until after the divorce. If she doesn't want it then, Goodwill is as good a place as any.
I won't say more in this post but please question away and I will
answer honestly- this has me reeling. I've never been through something
so over-the-top and have little idea on how to proceed.
Life's a sh*t.....but worse things happen at sea.
Work on the divorce, first.
intentions on her part?
No idea. You provide insufficient and one-sided information.
*Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
premise of her K1 visa?
I'm sure you can write them, but why bother? It's mainly her problem now. Your intervention can do little good.
*How the hell do I get divorced?
This is State specific so use Google to find the info for your neck o' the woods. There will be a set procedure if you do not know her address
*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
Store it until after the divorce. If she doesn't want it then, Goodwill is as good a place as any.
I won't say more in this post but please question away and I will
answer honestly- this has me reeling. I've never been through something
so over-the-top and have little idea on how to proceed.
Life's a sh*t.....but worse things happen at sea.
Work on the divorce, first.
Aug 23rd 2006, 1:18 pm
#3
MODERATOR
Joined: Apr 2003
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 58,687
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
Originally Posted by ScroodOver
*Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
intentions on her part?
intentions on her part?
*Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
premise of her K1 visa?
premise of her K1 visa?
*How the hell do I get divorced?
*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
I will say one thing is in your favor. You didn't follow through with completing the AOS, which is a good thing, I believe. You might want to check with an immigration attorney to make sure the I-864 won't be enforceable, since she never became a permanent resident. I think that's the case, but double check just to make sure.
Best Wishes,
Rene
Aug 23rd 2006, 1:33 pm
#4
Pain in the Butt
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Newark, DE
Posts: 286
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
Send her a letter (email apparently isn't acceptable by US law) telling her that if she doen't come and get it within the next 30 day's you'll consider it abandoned property. After that, sell it, donate it, bur it.... who know's only you do. Point is though that you have to send her a letter so that she can't come after you at a later date.
extra point, is it has to be mailed certified mail (although I'm not sure if that matters if it's going to Canada)
Send her a letter (email apparently isn't acceptable by US law) telling her that if she doen't come and get it within the next 30 day's you'll consider it abandoned property. After that, sell it, donate it, bur it.... who know's only you do. Point is though that you have to send her a letter so that she can't come after you at a later date.
extra point, is it has to be mailed certified mail (although I'm not sure if that matters if it's going to Canada)
Aug 23rd 2006, 4:01 pm
#5
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
ScroodOver <[email protected]> wrote:
> *Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
> intentions on her part?
Yes, it does. Are you sure you want to get a divorce? You should at
least consider counseling.
You are understandably upset about how this has played out, but you
haven't mentioned anything that implies "must get away from her as soon
as possible".
> *Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
> premise of her K1 visa?
No. It sounds like you're wanting to strike back at her because you're
angry. Stop thinking that way.
If you were to wave a magic wand and put her in front of an immigration
officer deciding her AOS application (if you guys applied), and she was
to say exactly what you said in your post, but substituting "I' for
"her" or "she", she'd not be arrested and hauled away in chains,
instead she'd probably walk out with a promise of a GC in a few weeks.
You don't have a magic wand, it's the government not you that would
file fraud charges, if you forgot to mention something like having a
tape of you and her plotting beforehand to enter on a K1 and then leave
the country after four months, the government STILL wouldn't file
because she's leaving or has already left the country.
Once again -- are you sure you want a divorce? Assuming that
everything you said was true, I see just two possibilities with regards
to your desire to "file a fraud claim", (1) you're hurt and you're
flailing around for some way to hurt her back, (2) you don't want to
loose her, and thinking that if she's in a US immigration court she
isn't gone for good just yet...
If you want her gone, then don't try to think up things that would keep
her here, if you want her to stay, then try to think of things that
might not only keep her here, but allow the two of you to get back
together.
--
J. Moreno
> *Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
> intentions on her part?
Yes, it does. Are you sure you want to get a divorce? You should at
least consider counseling.
You are understandably upset about how this has played out, but you
haven't mentioned anything that implies "must get away from her as soon
as possible".
> *Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
> premise of her K1 visa?
No. It sounds like you're wanting to strike back at her because you're
angry. Stop thinking that way.
If you were to wave a magic wand and put her in front of an immigration
officer deciding her AOS application (if you guys applied), and she was
to say exactly what you said in your post, but substituting "I' for
"her" or "she", she'd not be arrested and hauled away in chains,
instead she'd probably walk out with a promise of a GC in a few weeks.
You don't have a magic wand, it's the government not you that would
file fraud charges, if you forgot to mention something like having a
tape of you and her plotting beforehand to enter on a K1 and then leave
the country after four months, the government STILL wouldn't file
because she's leaving or has already left the country.
Once again -- are you sure you want a divorce? Assuming that
everything you said was true, I see just two possibilities with regards
to your desire to "file a fraud claim", (1) you're hurt and you're
flailing around for some way to hurt her back, (2) you don't want to
loose her, and thinking that if she's in a US immigration court she
isn't gone for good just yet...
If you want her gone, then don't try to think up things that would keep
her here, if you want her to stay, then try to think of things that
might not only keep her here, but allow the two of you to get back
together.
--
J. Moreno
Aug 25th 2006, 1:19 pm
#6
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
In article <[email protected] om>,
ScroodOver <[email protected]> wrote:
>Well the title says most of the issue.
>I'm a U.S.C. and we are (were) 3 weeks away from the AOS interview
>(have received the appointment letter). Without getting too too dirty
>and detailed, she has been unhappy since we returned (with her K1) to
>the US from Canada in April/06. There were arguments because she
>basically has complained or commented every single day, even during the
>long drive back here, that she thinks Canada would be better. Now I
>spent 3 mos. there but I have a son here who missed me very much and
>who I would never leave the country on. This is all well known prior to
>the marriage, of course. So we arrive and after she "cold feets" out of
>the first wedding date, we marry one week later in May. Since the
>wedding it has been pure hell living with her. Everything and anything
>is an excuse to go back to Canada (i.e.; the dogs are going to get tick
>bites, I can't handle the heat, it's too expensive, the job market
>sucks, ad nauseum..)
Wow.. Having moved to the US from Canada, I just don't see that many
differences between the two unless:
-she's from a large city in Canada
-you live in a small town
and those issues would be the same if she moved from NYC to where you are.
IOW, I don't get it.
[cut]
>They let her leave because it's "marital stuff" and not "their
>department". I tell them that I doubt she will return them and that I
>expect her to leave the country, and of course be unable to return.
>They let her go.
Ok..
>So now she is exiting the US and I am out of about $4000.00 worth of my
>stuff. However, she has also left here an entire house full of her
>stuff with no established means to come back and get it.
>Now the questions:
>*Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
>intentions on her part?
Quite possibly - she delayed the marriage at first because she was
concerned, and after thinking it over, decided to give it a go.
>*Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
>premise of her K1 visa?
Only if you were her co-conspirator and were confessing to your part of said
felony. This isn't meant for you specifically, just in general: I don't
think it's a crime for a foreigner to dupe a naive USC into marriage for the
purposes of a GC - the USC thinks they are getting a spouse, which
eliminates the "fraud" possibility. AFAIK, BOTH parties need to be in "the
know" for fraud to occur. And you can only de-fraud the government, AFAIK.
Now, you COULD launch a civil suit against for her "harmful actions" or
something, and you might even prevail. And if she enters the US again, she
might be detained if she doesn't pay up. But, that's unlikely.
>*How the hell do I get divorced?
It's almost as easy as getting married these days, I hear.
>*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
Wait 'till after the divorce, and ask your lawyer.. Claim all remaining
possessions as yours in the divorce, and if she doesn't contest, you get
'em. Then do with 'em as you wish. If she contests, ask for your stuff back.
Now, did you say she also took some of your important papers? That's not
very nice, and I think if you file a claim of "attempted identity theft" in
Canada, the police might not take too kindly to her holding on to those..
They are your property, after all. They have your name on them.
In summary: you learned a $4000 lesson (unless you still want her back -
doesn't sound like it). Not trying to belittle your loss, but.. That's a
hell of a lot less than others have lost. Some have lost years in a
loveless marriage.
If I were you and I'm right in that you don't want her back, I would:
1) file divorce proceedings, claiming all property left in the US
2) send her a copy
3) keep your AOS appointment notice in a safe spot so she can't use 'em.
When you don't show up to the appointment, she's automatically disqualified.
4) Contact a lawyer about your legal documents, unless you can easily get
them replaced
You probably should contact a lawyer anyway. I am NOT a lawyer, and this is
just made up off the top my head, so PLEASE do NOT think I'm giving you
legal advice.
MH
ScroodOver <[email protected]> wrote:
>Well the title says most of the issue.
>I'm a U.S.C. and we are (were) 3 weeks away from the AOS interview
>(have received the appointment letter). Without getting too too dirty
>and detailed, she has been unhappy since we returned (with her K1) to
>the US from Canada in April/06. There were arguments because she
>basically has complained or commented every single day, even during the
>long drive back here, that she thinks Canada would be better. Now I
>spent 3 mos. there but I have a son here who missed me very much and
>who I would never leave the country on. This is all well known prior to
>the marriage, of course. So we arrive and after she "cold feets" out of
>the first wedding date, we marry one week later in May. Since the
>wedding it has been pure hell living with her. Everything and anything
>is an excuse to go back to Canada (i.e.; the dogs are going to get tick
>bites, I can't handle the heat, it's too expensive, the job market
>sucks, ad nauseum..)
Wow.. Having moved to the US from Canada, I just don't see that many
differences between the two unless:
-she's from a large city in Canada
-you live in a small town
and those issues would be the same if she moved from NYC to where you are.
IOW, I don't get it.
[cut]
>They let her leave because it's "marital stuff" and not "their
>department". I tell them that I doubt she will return them and that I
>expect her to leave the country, and of course be unable to return.
>They let her go.
Ok..
>So now she is exiting the US and I am out of about $4000.00 worth of my
>stuff. However, she has also left here an entire house full of her
>stuff with no established means to come back and get it.
>Now the questions:
>*Does this sound like a marriage that was entered into with good
>intentions on her part?
Quite possibly - she delayed the marriage at first because she was
concerned, and after thinking it over, decided to give it a go.
>*Is there a procedure to file a fraud claim on her part as to the
>premise of her K1 visa?
Only if you were her co-conspirator and were confessing to your part of said
felony. This isn't meant for you specifically, just in general: I don't
think it's a crime for a foreigner to dupe a naive USC into marriage for the
purposes of a GC - the USC thinks they are getting a spouse, which
eliminates the "fraud" possibility. AFAIK, BOTH parties need to be in "the
know" for fraud to occur. And you can only de-fraud the government, AFAIK.
Now, you COULD launch a civil suit against for her "harmful actions" or
something, and you might even prevail. And if she enters the US again, she
might be detained if she doesn't pay up. But, that's unlikely.
>*How the hell do I get divorced?
It's almost as easy as getting married these days, I hear.
>*What can I, or should I do with her stuff?
Wait 'till after the divorce, and ask your lawyer.. Claim all remaining
possessions as yours in the divorce, and if she doesn't contest, you get
'em. Then do with 'em as you wish. If she contests, ask for your stuff back.
Now, did you say she also took some of your important papers? That's not
very nice, and I think if you file a claim of "attempted identity theft" in
Canada, the police might not take too kindly to her holding on to those..
They are your property, after all. They have your name on them.
In summary: you learned a $4000 lesson (unless you still want her back -
doesn't sound like it). Not trying to belittle your loss, but.. That's a
hell of a lot less than others have lost. Some have lost years in a
loveless marriage.
If I were you and I'm right in that you don't want her back, I would:
1) file divorce proceedings, claiming all property left in the US
2) send her a copy
3) keep your AOS appointment notice in a safe spot so she can't use 'em.
When you don't show up to the appointment, she's automatically disqualified.
4) Contact a lawyer about your legal documents, unless you can easily get
them replaced
You probably should contact a lawyer anyway. I am NOT a lawyer, and this is
just made up off the top my head, so PLEASE do NOT think I'm giving you
legal advice.
MH
Aug 26th 2006, 9:27 am
#7
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,477
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
One question comes to me that no one has touched on.
She filed an abuse charge with the police. Used the police as enforcers to come and clean out "her" possessions which in fact were your possessions and left hers.
She has your divorce papers from a previous marriage, your marriage certificate, my thoughts are the lady in question is going to be filing for divorce long before you and that she is going to be filing for adjustment of status under the Violence Against Women Act. She has the documentation she needs that she "stole" and she has the police report.
Let it go, get your divorce and count your blessings that it was only $4000 and not a lifetime of support at 125% of the poverty guidelines.
Rete
PS How do you know she left the country? Did you see her cross the border?
She filed an abuse charge with the police. Used the police as enforcers to come and clean out "her" possessions which in fact were your possessions and left hers.
She has your divorce papers from a previous marriage, your marriage certificate, my thoughts are the lady in question is going to be filing for divorce long before you and that she is going to be filing for adjustment of status under the Violence Against Women Act. She has the documentation she needs that she "stole" and she has the police report.
Let it go, get your divorce and count your blessings that it was only $4000 and not a lifetime of support at 125% of the poverty guidelines.
Rete
PS How do you know she left the country? Did you see her cross the border?
Aug 28th 2006, 5:46 am
#8
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 146
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
Originally Posted by Rete
Let it go, get your divorce and count your blessings that it was only $4000 and not a lifetime of support at 125% of the poverty guidelines.
Rete
Rete
Aug 28th 2006, 6:35 am
#9
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,477
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
Originally Posted by olliewat
Sorry, question just to understand. If she files for AOS under abuse, who would then be her sponsor? Or does she not need one?
Doesn't need one.
Aug 28th 2006, 6:51 am
#10
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 14
Re: Wife on K1 walked out and left the country - long post - lots of ???'s
Did you hit her,, physically speaking?
