steve100100

I've been thinking about the kind of people who have the hardest time settling in to their new American life. I know it was difficult for me for the first couple of years but that's a whole other story for another day.

Is it those on a company transfer bringing a spouse and kids? Is it those who married into it?

Just curious. I had difficult times during the first two years or so, but I have finally settled in and love it. I've been here 3 years now. In the beginning, it was difficult even doing the little things. After I got my bank account, I had to ask my wife how to write a check.

Do some people come here thinking they will love it because they watched Friends and went to Disney World once? I don't understand why some people have to constantly compare the US with the UK. Obviously, it will be different as it's a foreign country on another continent. Are the people who have the hardest time those who came here expecting it to be exactly the same as the UK?

I'm interested in other peoples experiences regarding how they did or did not adapt to their new life in a foreign country.

britintexas

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones Having vowed from an early age never to leave my little town where I was born and raised (have a large family who all live within a few miles of each other), I met my other half when I was 22 (USAF), who was the first American I'd ever spoken to, and believe me, there was still quite a stigma in my little town if you dated a 'Yank', even then!!!
I was promptly 'uprooted', and transplated in the USA, a few years later in Italy - then Germany, and now back here in the USA. I've never had a problem fitting in or adapting to life here, and am very grateful to be here! I really have never compared the particular country I live in with the UK. The only thing I really miss is family (and British Bangers, but that's another thread). There are a lot of good things about living here, but there are also a lot of good things about living in the UK! I would say my standard of living is a lot higher here, but that's not everything. I do know, however, a few people who just have not been able to adapt for one reason or another, and their marriage has broken up because of it I do find though the older I get, the more I yearn to move back to my little town in the UK- but because of sentimental reasons!!

Trixie_b

I married into it, but as I don't have "deep roots" anywhere, I haven't found it that hard to settle in.
I know that I'm a much more fulfilled person if I have friends, and making friends as an adult is far more difficult and in a new country where the social life runs differently than in the uk, it's once again harder still.

Therefore www.meetup.com was a life saver.

Tomorrow night I have a bunko group and Saturday I'm hosting a film night for my book club.

I meet new friends for lunch at least once a week, and I'm happy. If I hadn't made a concerted effort to build a social network I think I'd have found it much much harder

britvic

Married to it and because of that it is much harder, OH does understand my feeling's sometime's but I feel it's best not to keep on moaning when I'm so very homesick, at least if you have your Brit OH here with you they should and will understand where your coming from.

sambapink

Well where would I begin... Came here on a company transfer (OH's). We have 3 children. We felt the time was right for us as a family to experiance something else.. broaden our view of life. And that still stands today.. we're doing exactly that.

I think whether you have a hard time settling in to your new life depends on so many factors. How did you prepare, what are your expectations and what the pull of your home country might be... are just some of them.

For me personally it certainly has been a bumpy ride.. I love the lifestyle that we have here.. enjoy living in a bigger house.. the ease of getting from A to B is appealing.. beaches, mountains blah blah blah are all fabulous. Like the last poster, I too made a concerted effort to make friends here.. and that makes ALL the difference to my life here.. only for them, my life here I think would be fairly unbearable at this stage. (there all english)

The things that bothered me in the early stages of being here, the normal cultural differences are waining now.. thankfully.. However, what does not escape, and I think never will is the pull of home. For me personally, no house is big enough and no beach too beautiful to compensate for the comfortable, assuredness of home.

My OH does not voice as much as I do the things he misses things back home - but he is there at the moment on a business trip and hooked up with a few of his good friends.. I could tell by his voice just how grateful he was to spend the evening with them... He said it was great to chat with like minded people, people who GENUINELY cared about him and what he was doing in his life..

As a woman i'm struggling with living in a rental.. and we certainly wouldn't consider buying our own home for obivious and personal reasons.. for me thats a big factor in not being able to feel completely 'homely' here.

Watching my children (ok, maybe just my son) struggle to make 'real' friends.. friends that understand and enjoy the same things is incredibly hard.. but i agree (and hope) that may happen in time..

There are so many factors to helping or hindering your settlement in another country.. some can be overcome.. some just can't.. It certainly is an exciting, emotional, frustrating and sometimes eye opening experiance...

After living in another country for 30 odd years, ofcourse the adjustment will be difficult.. no amount of research, googling or even time spent on BE can prepare you fully!

jumping doris

When I felt very homesick my OH (who is a Brit) couldn't undersatnd at all. He loves it here and has done from day 1. He has no desire to ever go back, even for a visit.

I think part of that was that was because I did everything like opening bank accounts, dealt with GC issues, sorted out house problems etc. He never had those frustrations and didn't ever really experience some of the negative feelings that happen when stuff goes wrong.

sambapink

Thats true Vic.. never thought of it like that.. at least my OH 'gets' what i'm talking about, even if he doesn't always agree!

britvic

In a nutshell for me.

britvic

Well your OH is a lucky man then

TruBrit

thought about you today...were you involved in this > http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7726031.stm...

sambapink

Link isn't coming up with anything

TruBrit

bigger is not always better imo nor the bleedin' weather....

i'm married to it also which has it's downside when i know i should bite my tongue....

britvic

Our OH is ment to be our best mate of all and you share everything but over time one has learn't to bite my tongue on a few issue's.

TruBrit

sorry, try this >

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7726031.stm

sambapink

Lol... oh yeah its been all over the news today.. I did sign up for it.. but wasn't really sure what i was supposed to do today! I have my lists of how to prepare myself.. but all i'll do is panic and run screaming, i'm sure!!!!