Andrew DeFaria

greenlllllgj wrote:

    > 1 She beat me repeatedly.

Yeah and why did you allow it to continue?

    > 2 I am legally obligated to support her, my abuser, as long as she is
    > here.

That would be your legal argument to the USCIS I guess...

    > 3 She cheated me, pretended to love me, & used me.

Happens all the time to millions of couples. What makes you so special?
Now if you can prove that she used you for a green card then you have a
chance. So far from what I read I just don't see it.

    > 4 She discredited me to my close friends.

Big deal! What exactly do you think you are doing to her right now?

    > 5 She lied about me, very bad lies, saying I hit her... so she could
    > stay here.

If she really lied about you abusing her then how is she gonna prove
that you did? Think about it...

    > 6 She made my life miserable.

Bummer.

    > 7 She drained my life savings & then left me broke.

You gave it to her! Or you allowed her to take it. Take your pick.

    > 8 She might have gotten me fired - job security is unstable now that
    > she hit me at work on camera.

Huh? Why the hell would you job fire you because you were attacked?!?

    > 9 She threatened to poison/cheat on me, came after me w/ a knife...

If you have evidence of such then why didn't/don't you go to the
authorities? Such stuff is illegal ya know.

    > What is best for me, right now, is justice, from the legal system,
    > through the truth of my situation.

So then you'd be heading off to the police station to file charges. Let
us know what they say....

    > "Revenge is retaliation against a person or group in response to a
    > wrong-doing by that person or group. Although many aspects of revenge
    > are similar to the concept of making things equal, the goal of revenge
    > is usually more injurious than CONSTRUCTIVE. " -definition of revenge
    > By seeking justice, which will probably get her sent back to her
    > original country (right where she was before she scammed me), I am
    > protecting myself from being battered again,

A simple call to 911 could have done that along with getting a TRO.

    > protecting my reputation,

Your reputation has been totally shot here don't cha think? Yeah you
have a little bit of Internet anonymity but it doesn't seem like you are
that concerned about your reputation.

    > & protecting my finances from being unfairly burdened.

Unfairly burdened?!? What burden? You already admitted you were broke!

    > This is not about hurting her back, so much as it is about letting the
    > government protect me from the further harm of a very abusive &
    > disturbed person.

Again, the police and a TRO would protect you. You seem to want more
than that.

    > This is CONSTRUCTIVE more than injurious, therefore it is not revenge.
    > Besides, she spent most of her life in her original country, what is
    > so wrong about her having to return, especially when it is her actions
    > that made her have to return?
    > Justice:
    > Justice is a concept involving the fair and moral. Oftentimes, these
    > concepts and beliefs are generalized and codified in a culture or
    > group, and thus serve to regulate the behaviour of its members.
    > Conformity to such codification may also be called morality, and the
    > group may depend on widespread conformity to such codes for its
    > continued existence. A "moral" may refer to a particular principle,
    > usually as informal and general summary with respect to a moral
    > principle, as it is applied in a given human situation.
    > & Justice for All


--
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.

Andrew DeFaria

ian-mstm wrote:

    > Actually, a restraining order would protect you more! But that's the
    > job of law enforcement, not the government.
    > Again, this is the job of law enforcement, not the government. Are you
    > just stupid or don't you get that?

Just a nit but law enforcement is the government, or at least part of
it. This is a job for law enforcement not the courts nor the USCIS.

    > You are such a whiner! I can't believe you actually think you're
    > seeking justice. This is revenge - this is about you taking actions to
    > hurt her, even though the actions are indirect. She hurt you and now
    > you want to hurt her back. You're an idiot! When you were born, your
    > mother should have been slapped!

While he is whining and not thinking straight and he may be a wimp,
etc., I don't think he's an idiot for wanting to hurt somebody back who
hurt him. I think that that is natural.

--
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

meauxna

Ian, did you not get the memo?
It is no longer required to mercilessly mock *every* single post that rolls through here...

hcj1440

By signing the I-864 you agreed that if a governmental agency gives assistance to the immigrant, they have a right to ask you for the money they spent on her. It does not obligate you to support her directly. To my knowledge, no government agency has sued any sponsor for monies they spent on an immigrant. So on a practical level, the chances of you having to ever lay out another dime for her support - pursuant to the affidavit of support - is zero to none.

Now, divorce court and alimony are a different, unrelated matter - you may be obligated there so best to get yourself some legal representation on that front.

Andrew DeFaria

hcj1440 wrote:

    > By signing the I-864 you agreed that if a governmental agency gives
    > assistance to the immigrant, they have a right to ask you for the
    > money they spent on her. It does not obligate you to support her
    > directly. To my knowledge, no government agency has sued any sponsor
    > for monies they spent on an immigrant. So on a practical level, the
    > chances of you having to ever lay out another dime for her support -
    > pursuant to the affidavit of support - is zero to none.

Just because no government agency has sued any sponsor (and that's to
your knowledge only) does not mean that it doesn't happen. It could
easily happen without coming down to a suit and court action.

--
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

ian-mstm

What? Did someone change the rules and not tell me? Damn... I hate it when that happens!

Ian

Rete

Ian, Ian, Ian ... you never read the fine print. It is under article 7, section 4, subparagraph (zz) ... responding poster (hereinafter known as "RP") is only allowed to ridicule and mock individual posters once per sixteen (16) hour period. However, if the original poster (hereinafter known as "OP"), responses in a manner which incites RP to subsequently post in defense of his or her good and creditable name, then RP is allowed to further reply to said post and OP but only to the limit of 150 words of three or more characters. It is to be noted that the responses of 2 words or less, i.e. pucker up, will not be allowed and will be immediately deleted by a moderator of said forum.

Rete
Moderator

Folinskyinla

Hi:

I agree that I would not be surprised that a government agency went for reimbursement. On the welfare end, she can't get it for the first five years in any case. Kind of hard to make reimbursement for what isn't given.

After five years, most people don't go on welfare anyways.

The biggest risk to an I-864 affiant IMHO is if the person gets into an auto accident, or has an illness that incurrs large medical bills on a governmental unit's nickel.

As to individual obligation to support, that is an open question IMHO, and a lot of standard contract defenses just might kick in. But is sure can be a pain in the ass to assert those benefits [necessitating use of Preperation H].

ian-mstm

Well, there's the answer. When I joined BE, there were only 6 articles! It's clear that the powers that be, haven't done a very good job keeping members informed of changes. Y'know, it's not like I have lots and lots of time to read messages and post!

Ian

greenlllllgj

We have decided to agree to notorize & put in writting 2 things.
1 I will do everything in my power to help her get her citizenship, afterall who truly knows what is in the mind of another. It is possible that she married me for love, in spite of her background & all that she did.

2 She will not accept any money from me, or put any financial burden on me whatsoever, for the rest of my life - with the possible exception of the 1st year of our seperation so that I can help her get on her feet. She will not accept alimony & she will not do something which will cause me to pay fines. We will divorce as peacefully & inexpensively as is reasonably possible.

& we both agree to quit telling others that we are the victim & the other person.... .................................................. .......................................

So... we were talking about this document. She does not think it would be legal. We also agree it might be better to put consequences down if we do not perform the stated activities.

A consequence for me, if I do not help her become a resident, could be...
what?
any suggestions?
I'll pay her $10,000 USD.

Consequences for her, if she collects money from me w/out immediately returning it (w/ the 1 exception), or causes financial burdens on me without immediately paying it back (like in a week), then she will renounce her US citizenship and fly back to her home country.

Would it be legally binding? Would it be evan legal at all?

DCMark

No

You really swing back and forth with this one don't you?

What this has to do with Visa marriages is beyond me.

HunterGreen

Yeah. This thing deserves a big ol' lock on it, or a transplant to a more appropriate forum... is there a BE ''divorces-R-us'' forum??

(Oh and btw can someone report the OP for visa fraud please? )

greenlllllgj

I do not know much about the law. It sucks that the US laws are not simple enough for a highschool educated man to understand without the help of a $175/hour lawyer, but I digress. Whatever I do, I want it to be legal. If signing this contract would be illegal I need to know about it. I am looking up info about the idea & am trying to find out how legal it would be. I also plan on consulting a lawyer.

There is another point, though, that must be considered in the contract, if it is legal and a good option & that is my wife's accusations against me.
Is it legal for her to state that she will never report to anyone that I alledgedly abused her? Could she just state in the contract. "I freely state that Y has never battered me, abused me, or forced me to do anything against my will."
Maybe such a statement would protect me in the future, like, after she gets her citizenship from being spiteful to me & being dishonest w/ the law to get vengeance on me for the wrongs(hitting/kicking/forcing) that she genuinely believes (in her disturbed little mind) that I did to her. You see, I openly admit to pushing her off of me when she was hitting me, or calling her a bad word when we she was very mean to me & we were arguing... I admit to the things I did, but they were not illegal & they do not include the battering allegations that she says I did & I need protection from those allegations as well.

I get the feeling that this may indeed be the wrong forum for this topic, however, I'll bet that there are many men who have been defrauded by a woman from EAstern Europe trying to get a greencard, or there may be other men who married a woman from Estern Europe who had serious psychological issues & accused them of horrible things & earnestly believed that they were being mistreated, & could not possibly ever make a half-decent wife. These men might benefit from our discussions in this forum, the US Marriage BAsed Visas forum. After all, a cancellation of the visa might be the easiest & safest route for a man who has ends up as I did. Actually, this forum is quite appropriate for this topic.

I'll have to talk more w/ my wife. I just hope she can make a moment of enough mental clarity where she can see past all this victim mumbo-jumbo BS & make a real healthy & peaceful resolution.

USA & Pakistan

You both seem to think you have a lot more control over the situation than you really do. The wheels are already in motion... too late to jump off the train. Get a divorce and she can file for a waiver. The rest is not up to either of you.

Marnee

GoodGirl_J

Instead of spending all this time here on the Internet, you could have talked with a lawyer or INS in the meantime....