what will happen to me?
Apr 13th 2003, 10:47 am
#16
Howling at the Moon
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: Incline Village, NV
Posts: 3,742
Re: what will happen to me?
Darned thing posted twice ...
Apr 13th 2003, 12:09 pm
#17
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by Rete
Why would you think that it is any of your business what the issues are? <snip>
Rete
Why would you think that it is any of your business what the issues are? <snip>
Rete
This one from Brad was certainly on *my* list...
Wild Women Posse: Ridin' a dead horse with a sweet 10 footer...
Apr 13th 2003, 12:20 pm
#18
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,476
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by meauxna
heh, I wondered when the rest of the wild woman posse would show up on this one (thx too Ranjini).
This one from Brad was certainly on *my* list...
Wild Women Posse: Ridin' a dead horse with a sweet 10 footer...
heh, I wondered when the rest of the wild woman posse would show up on this one (thx too Ranjini).
This one from Brad was certainly on *my* list...
Wild Women Posse: Ridin' a dead horse with a sweet 10 footer...
Don't you just love the moral majority here. Getting so you are not only afraid to answer a post but posters are afraid to ask questions and give a little background information. Can only imagine what they think of my generation of the swinging 60's and 70's and free love, recreational drugs and flowers in our hair. Heck it was a fun time though ;-) We were more interested in making each other than making money LOL.
Rete
Apr 13th 2003, 12:25 pm
#19
Banned
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,933
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by meauxna
heh, I wondered when the rest of the wild woman posse would show up on this one (thx too Ranjini).
This one from Brad was certainly on *my* list...
Wild Women Posse: Ridin' a dead horse with a sweet 10 footer...
heh, I wondered when the rest of the wild woman posse would show up on this one (thx too Ranjini).
This one from Brad was certainly on *my* list...
Wild Women Posse: Ridin' a dead horse with a sweet 10 footer...
Wild women posse... can we add immoral in there somewhere ?? ... sounds almost depraved 
don't ya think? Sweet forbidden things! Smacks of Eve in the garden of Eden....Hehehe.
Apr 13th 2003, 1:26 pm
#20
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,476
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by Ranjini
Yeah Wild women posse... can we add immoral in there somewhere ?? ... sounds almost depraved don't ya think? Sweet forbidden things! Smacks of Eve in the garden of Eden....Hehehe.
Yeah
Wild women posse... can we add immoral in there somewhere ?? ... sounds almost depraved don't ya think? Sweet forbidden things! Smacks of Eve in the garden of Eden....Hehehe.
Watch out for the snake
R
Apr 13th 2003, 1:26 pm
#21
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 1,350
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by Ranjini
Yeah Wild women posse... can we add immoral in there somewhere ?? ... sounds almost depraved don't ya think? Sweet forbidden things! Smacks of Eve in the garden of Eden....Hehehe.
Yeah
Wild women posse... can we add immoral in there somewhere ?? ... sounds almost depraved don't ya think? Sweet forbidden things! Smacks of Eve in the garden of Eden....Hehehe.
You should hang out with one of that type of wild woman sometime. You'd be quite surprised how nice we are despite our very wildness -- we definitely are not part of the "moral majority" (unless telling someone to be honest and do the right thing by telling the truth to the person they claim to love, even if it results in personal sacrifice, makes us so).
In an ideal world with neat dilemmas and neat law, NGers can try to interpret questions as pure "immigration" questions, devoid of the ethics and morality that are implicated in them. I certainly agree the boards would be "more pleasant". But since only a couple of posters are immigration attorneys or so experienced that they know the absolute right answer more often than not, there wouldn't be much traffic on the NG if not for opinions.
Even the law itself doesn't demand that immigration problems are solved outside of the realm of ethics and morality (the 10-foot pole example is another of those questions that implicate both law and ethics/morality for many people). The law appears quite "it depends" when it comes to handling a marriage that ends before AOS. What happens is at least partially dependent on the discerned intent of the parties seeking AOS. From what I've read on the boards this past couple of months, the BCIS can and does make an evaluation, even superficially, of whether the request for AOS is designed to further immigration as the primary motive, instead of a good-faith marriage between the USC and the immigrant, unless one of the exceptions applies. That makes it a valid issue for inquiry when questions about the impact of separation and divorce and AOS come up within the context of the NG.
If the poster wanted only a truly "strictly by the book" opinion she could have easily called up BCIS or an attorney rather than ask real live laypersons (including lawyers who are not immigration lawyers) on an NG. We are not being asked our opinion in a professional capacity and therefore have no duty to report answers stripped from all of who we are as people. In this case, this poster admits that regardless of where things were at the beginning of her marriage, she would likely be separated if not divorcing right now but for the possible impact on her immigration status. Because of her fear on that issue, she has admittedly kept her husband in the dark rather than be honest about her feelings for someone else. Even though he's on the hook for the next 10 years because of the affidavit of support. That's *my* squick and I wouldn't be the person I am if I didn't speak to that.
/laughing at the fantasy idea of being in the "moral majority" -- for perhaps the only time in her life.
Apr 13th 2003, 1:35 pm
#22
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,228
Re: what will happen to me?
I find your post highly ironic Rete, in light of your criticism of me for keeping my 'legal' wedding from my family (while planning for a family church wedding later). I guess it was easier for you to be in the moral majority in that case, as you did not have a shared experience with me?
Originally posted by Rete
I was in Massachusetts for the weekend and only now catching up on posts.
Don't you just love the moral majority here. Getting so you are not only afraid to answer a post but posters are afraid to ask questions and give a little background information. Can only imagine what they think of my generation of the swinging 60's and 70's and free love, recreational drugs and flowers in our hair. Heck it was a fun time though ;-) We were more interested in making each other than making money LOL.
Rete
I was in Massachusetts for the weekend and only now catching up on posts.
Don't you just love the moral majority here. Getting so you are not only afraid to answer a post but posters are afraid to ask questions and give a little background information. Can only imagine what they think of my generation of the swinging 60's and 70's and free love, recreational drugs and flowers in our hair. Heck it was a fun time though ;-) We were more interested in making each other than making money LOL.
Rete
Apr 13th 2003, 1:37 pm
#23
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,476
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by DCMark
I find your post highly ironic Rete, in light of your criticism of me for keeping my 'legal' wedding from my family (while planning for a family church wedding later). I guess it was easier for you to be in the moral majority in that case, as you did not have a shared experience with me?
I find your post highly ironic Rete, in light of your criticism of me for keeping my 'legal' wedding from my family (while planning for a family church wedding later). I guess it was easier for you to be in the moral majority in that case, as you did not have a shared experience with me?
FTR, I've never cheated on my husbands nor on any man I was having a committed relationship with.
Rete
Apr 13th 2003, 1:50 pm
#24
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,476
Re: what will happen to me?
She's found that she is not in love with her husband but in love with someone else and came and asked what her legal status would be once they divorced.
If it were me, I would certainly try to determine what my options were from an BCIS viewpoint. Men and women fall out of love as quickly as they fall into love. And just because there is a third party involved, namely the BCIS, does not mean it was necessarily for a green card.
She wasn't asking how to defraud the government or her husband. Nor was she asking for anyone's advice on her marriage or emotional dilemna. Plain and simply she was asking what her status would be upon divorce. For all we know her husband is fully aware of the situation and has turned a blind eye to it. It's their lives.
She asked a question. The answer is she has no legal right to remain in the US once she is divorced.
Rete
If it were me, I would certainly try to determine what my options were from an BCIS viewpoint. Men and women fall out of love as quickly as they fall into love. And just because there is a third party involved, namely the BCIS, does not mean it was necessarily for a green card.
She wasn't asking how to defraud the government or her husband. Nor was she asking for anyone's advice on her marriage or emotional dilemna. Plain and simply she was asking what her status would be upon divorce. For all we know her husband is fully aware of the situation and has turned a blind eye to it. It's their lives.
She asked a question. The answer is she has no legal right to remain in the US once she is divorced.
Rete
Originally posted by Dekka's Angel
You know, you can be a *very* wild woman and still think its pretty low to be living with your in-the-dark husband planning on how to keep your status in the US (status you have only because of him) while having a relationship with someone else behind his back.
You should hang out with one of that type of wild woman sometime. You'd be quite surprised how nice we are despite our very wildness -- we definitely are not part of the "moral majority" (unless telling someone to be honest and do the right thing by telling the truth to the person they claim to love, even if it results in personal sacrifice, makes us so).
In an ideal world with neat dilemmas and neat law, NGers can try to interpret questions as pure "immigration" questions, devoid of the ethics and morality that are implicated in them. I certainly agree the boards would be "more pleasant". But since only a couple of posters are immigration attorneys or so experienced that they know the absolute right answer more often than not, there wouldn't be much traffic on the NG if not for opinions.
Even the law itself doesn't demand that immigration problems are solved outside of the realm of ethics and morality (the 10-foot pole example is another of those questions that implicate both law and ethics/morality for many people). The law appears quite "it depends" when it comes to handling a marriage that ends before AOS. What happens is at least partially dependent on the discerned intent of the parties seeking AOS. From what I've read on the boards this past couple of months, the BCIS can and does make an evaluation, even superficially, of whether the request for AOS is designed to further immigration as the primary motive, instead of a good-faith marriage between the USC and the immigrant, unless one of the exceptions applies. That makes it a valid issue for inquiry when questions about the impact of separation and divorce and AOS come up within the context of the NG.
If the poster wanted only a truly "strictly by the book" opinion she could have easily called up BCIS or an attorney rather than ask real live laypersons (including lawyers who are not immigration lawyers) on an NG. We are not being asked our opinion in a professional capacity and therefore have no duty to report answers stripped from all of who we are as people. In this case, this poster admits that regardless of where things were at the beginning of her marriage, she would likely be separated if not divorcing right now but for the possible impact on her immigration status. Because of her fear on that issue, she has admittedly kept her husband in the dark rather than be honest about her feelings for someone else. Even though he's on the hook for the next 10 years because of the affidavit of support. That's *my* squick and I wouldn't be the person I am if I didn't speak to that.
/laughing at the fantasy idea of being in the "moral majority" -- for perhaps the only time in her life.
You know, you can be a *very* wild woman and still think its pretty low to be living with your in-the-dark husband planning on how to keep your status in the US (status you have only because of him) while having a relationship with someone else behind his back.
You should hang out with one of that type of wild woman sometime. You'd be quite surprised how nice we are despite our very wildness -- we definitely are not part of the "moral majority" (unless telling someone to be honest and do the right thing by telling the truth to the person they claim to love, even if it results in personal sacrifice, makes us so).
In an ideal world with neat dilemmas and neat law, NGers can try to interpret questions as pure "immigration" questions, devoid of the ethics and morality that are implicated in them. I certainly agree the boards would be "more pleasant". But since only a couple of posters are immigration attorneys or so experienced that they know the absolute right answer more often than not, there wouldn't be much traffic on the NG if not for opinions.
Even the law itself doesn't demand that immigration problems are solved outside of the realm of ethics and morality (the 10-foot pole example is another of those questions that implicate both law and ethics/morality for many people). The law appears quite "it depends" when it comes to handling a marriage that ends before AOS. What happens is at least partially dependent on the discerned intent of the parties seeking AOS. From what I've read on the boards this past couple of months, the BCIS can and does make an evaluation, even superficially, of whether the request for AOS is designed to further immigration as the primary motive, instead of a good-faith marriage between the USC and the immigrant, unless one of the exceptions applies. That makes it a valid issue for inquiry when questions about the impact of separation and divorce and AOS come up within the context of the NG.
If the poster wanted only a truly "strictly by the book" opinion she could have easily called up BCIS or an attorney rather than ask real live laypersons (including lawyers who are not immigration lawyers) on an NG. We are not being asked our opinion in a professional capacity and therefore have no duty to report answers stripped from all of who we are as people. In this case, this poster admits that regardless of where things were at the beginning of her marriage, she would likely be separated if not divorcing right now but for the possible impact on her immigration status. Because of her fear on that issue, she has admittedly kept her husband in the dark rather than be honest about her feelings for someone else. Even though he's on the hook for the next 10 years because of the affidavit of support. That's *my* squick and I wouldn't be the person I am if I didn't speak to that.
/laughing at the fantasy idea of being in the "moral majority" -- for perhaps the only time in her life.
Apr 13th 2003, 1:54 pm
#25
Banned
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,933
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by Dekka's Angel
The law appears quite "it depends" when it comes to handling a marriage that ends before AOS. What happens is at least partially dependent on the discerned intent of the parties seeking AOS. From what I've read on the boards this past couple of months, the BCIS can and does make an evaluation, even superficially, of whether the request for AOS is designed to further immigration as the primary motive, instead of a good-faith marriage between the USC and the immigrant, unless one of the exceptions applies. That makes it a valid issue for inquiry when questions about the impact of separation and divorce and AOS come up within the context of the NG.
The law appears quite "it depends" when it comes to handling a marriage that ends before AOS. What happens is at least partially dependent on the discerned intent of the parties seeking AOS. From what I've read on the boards this past couple of months, the BCIS can and does make an evaluation, even superficially, of whether the request for AOS is designed to further immigration as the primary motive, instead of a good-faith marriage between the USC and the immigrant, unless one of the exceptions applies. That makes it a valid issue for inquiry when questions about the impact of separation and divorce and AOS come up within the context of the NG.
Last edited by Ranjini; Apr 14th 2003 at 2:37 am.
Apr 13th 2003, 1:59 pm
#26
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 1,228
Re: what will happen to me?
No, you assumed it was the happiest day of my life. That was not true-it was only an INS required date. The happiest day will be my real wedding this June, when we declare our love and fidelity in front of family and God.
You answer below clearly indicates you do have a moral problem with me keeping the legal wedding date from my family. Yet you seem to have a problem with others imposing their moral judgement on this woman for cheating on her husband and then using him for her own immigration needs.
What is ironic is that since you have been divorced before, you can sympathize/defend her, while when you have no experience (ie, being a 'first time' couple going through AOS and dealing with a legal ceremony in the US and a religious one elsewhere), then you can be judgemental. But thats not surprising to me anymore, after seeing your posts here over the past year.
You answer below clearly indicates you do have a moral problem with me keeping the legal wedding date from my family. Yet you seem to have a problem with others imposing their moral judgement on this woman for cheating on her husband and then using him for her own immigration needs.
What is ironic is that since you have been divorced before, you can sympathize/defend her, while when you have no experience (ie, being a 'first time' couple going through AOS and dealing with a legal ceremony in the US and a religious one elsewhere), then you can be judgemental. But thats not surprising to me anymore, after seeing your posts here over the past year.
Originally posted by Rete
And what has that to do with morality? You kept what you considered to be the happiest day of your life from the most important members of your life.
Rete
And what has that to do with morality? You kept what you considered to be the happiest day of your life from the most important members of your life.
Rete
Apr 13th 2003, 2:47 pm
#27
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: what will happen to me?
Well thanks to those who gave me honest answers and did not bare
judgement. I already bare judgement on myself I did not ask to be put
down because of my situation. I asked technicalities...I have no
problem going home, I don't want to be here just so I can be here, if
you read what I wrote it said I understand that there are those that
are truely in love.
You do not know my whole story to judge me. I did not get married
with the intentions to fall in love with someone else or get divorced.
Situations change, and people change everyday....unfortantly we
didnt' change together. Right now we're trying to work things out, so
you that judged me before knowing the situation shame on you! I only
asked what would happen if I got divorced would I be shipped back to
Canada, I would most likely would go on my own anyway but just curious
in general.
As for weakness, making judgment calls on someone you do not know, or
know the full situation...that is what I would call weak.
I asked a simple question not to have people tell me what a bad person
I am. I already beat myself up over it enough thank you very much.
Before you cast stones always take a look at the big picture, and if
you can't see the big picture then keep your mouth shut and just
either ignore it if you dont' know the answer or answer it like the
three people here seemed to be able to.
Thanks again to those that left their comments to themselves and only
answered my intended question
MistressBang.
judgement. I already bare judgement on myself I did not ask to be put
down because of my situation. I asked technicalities...I have no
problem going home, I don't want to be here just so I can be here, if
you read what I wrote it said I understand that there are those that
are truely in love.
You do not know my whole story to judge me. I did not get married
with the intentions to fall in love with someone else or get divorced.
Situations change, and people change everyday....unfortantly we
didnt' change together. Right now we're trying to work things out, so
you that judged me before knowing the situation shame on you! I only
asked what would happen if I got divorced would I be shipped back to
Canada, I would most likely would go on my own anyway but just curious
in general.
As for weakness, making judgment calls on someone you do not know, or
know the full situation...that is what I would call weak.
I asked a simple question not to have people tell me what a bad person
I am. I already beat myself up over it enough thank you very much.
Before you cast stones always take a look at the big picture, and if
you can't see the big picture then keep your mouth shut and just
either ignore it if you dont' know the answer or answer it like the
three people here seemed to be able to.
Thanks again to those that left their comments to themselves and only
answered my intended question
MistressBang.
Apr 13th 2003, 3:01 pm
#28
Banned
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,933
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by Rete
Hmmmm apples and fig leaves ;-)
Watch out for the snake
R
Hmmmm apples and fig leaves ;-)
Watch out for the snake
R
Apr 14th 2003, 1:46 am
#29
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: what will happen to me?
Ian Stephenson wrote in message news:...
> On 13 Apr 2003 06:41:54 -0700, [email protected] (Mistressbang)
> wrote:
>
> > I dont' know what issues I ignored in my marriage....it just sort of
> > one of those things that happenend, I wasn't looking for it, I dont'
> > think it was looking for me, I just started to have feelings for
> > someone else.
>
> Affairs don't just happen. Problems cause them to happen, even when
> the individual either doesn't know or is in denial. Build a house on
> sand and when the house falls down you still have the sand.
>
> I've no idea what the score is, maybe you should see a lawyer. But if
> hubby learns of your indiscretion I guess it'll be his word against
> yours with the INS. Not sure I'd want to risk an ex-wife sponging off
> me for eternity if she chose to be with someone else.
Mistressbang....
How long did you know your husband before you got married? How long
have you been married now?
Ann
> On 13 Apr 2003 06:41:54 -0700, [email protected] (Mistressbang)
> wrote:
>
> > I dont' know what issues I ignored in my marriage....it just sort of
> > one of those things that happenend, I wasn't looking for it, I dont'
> > think it was looking for me, I just started to have feelings for
> > someone else.
>
> Affairs don't just happen. Problems cause them to happen, even when
> the individual either doesn't know or is in denial. Build a house on
> sand and when the house falls down you still have the sand.
>
> I've no idea what the score is, maybe you should see a lawyer. But if
> hubby learns of your indiscretion I guess it'll be his word against
> yours with the INS. Not sure I'd want to risk an ex-wife sponging off
> me for eternity if she chose to be with someone else.
Mistressbang....
How long did you know your husband before you got married? How long
have you been married now?
Ann
Apr 14th 2003, 2:10 am
#30
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2001
Location: Ohio
Posts: 659
Re: what will happen to me?
Originally posted by Rete
I was in Massachusetts for the weekend and only now catching up on posts.
Can only imagine what they think of my generation of the swinging 60's and 70's and free love, recreational drugs and flowers in our hair. Heck it was a fun time though ;-) We were more interested in making each other than making money LOL.
Rete
I was in Massachusetts for the weekend and only now catching up on posts.
Can only imagine what they think of my generation of the swinging 60's and 70's and free love, recreational drugs and flowers in our hair. Heck it was a fun time though ;-) We were more interested in making each other than making money LOL.
Rete
