dunroving

- I think this advice should be standard for every "What should we do?" thread.

dunroving

Then that is what you should do. There's no point going through US immigration if you both intend to move to the UK. If you can't work in the US, maybe you should go back to the UK and start working to save up for your OH's move to the UK ... or as others have said, wait until you get your EAD to work and save money from the US. If you do the latter, though, you have to figure out how to deal with hating the US or you'll go mad.

geeandtee

It's a plus that your husband feels the same way as you do, from reading this particular part of the forum that, obviously, isn't always the case. I'd forgotten about the EAD I hope, at least, you can get that sorted then you can work which, as you said, will help you contribute towards escaping but, also, it will, hopefully, allow you a minor distraction until you can both return to the UK.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Emma M

Yes, this is exactly the problem I have. If I go back to the UK as it is now, it would mean that I would have to stay with my family until I got a job, then saved to get a flat, then saved to get my husband over there... realistically that could take a couple of years, maybe more, and even moreso if we had trips in between (him coming to me because if I abandoned my AOS, I would probably get a nice fat ban for a few years and never be allowed to use the VWP again).
So really, I think the only option is to stay here for now, get a job and save like mad for us to move, because we know that we can live on one wage, so we can save whatever I earn. Ack, what a mess.

Emma M

Yes it is a blessing that he feels the same, I'm lucky in that respect.

Elvira

Have you looked at the section on bringing a spouse to the UK at UK-Yankee? It may not be as difficult or drawn out as you think. As you may know, Silly Sod is over right now, preparing for his wife and stepdaughter to move over. I think he found UK-Yankee very helpful.

Good luck - at least you 2 agree about where you want to live!

Emma M

Ive never heard of it, but I will take a look. Thanks!

mumof4

I just want to add that you can control your emotions more than you think. And while you may be blessed with a great marriage, if you keep being sour about where you're living, it may not stay so great for long. I recommend trying to get some volunteer work to keep you busy and get some social contact till you get permission to work. It's hard if you don't have a social circle, that make settling much harder. I'm also fed up with being asked after 9 months if I'm settled here?! But it does take time. Without knowing your full story, I'd go with the advice to wait and try to save while you both work. Having supportive inlaws nearby is a big plus. Remember also, things in the UK have not remained static while you've been gone and a lot of people struggle to re-adjust back. Getting a ban on travelling to the US is tough when you're leaving the in-laws here, at least wait till you've got permission to travel (which you should have applied for )...
Good Luck with it all .

Emma M

There's some good advice in that - thanks.

gypsygirl

Practical advice: stay and get your green card, keep your options open. Dont have a kid here.

Heartfelt advice: Get the heck outta here fast, maybe not even go back to the Uk. It just gets worse here.

Dave_Was

Hello Emma,

It's tough situation that you and many others are in, that is being somewhere where they don't want to be.

Don't do anything in a rush. Look at what the options are and then go from there.

If you want to stay in the US there's two options you can do.

1, Wait it out for the GC. My understanding is that they are slowly starting to work there way out of the mess of last summer, but the timescales are all a bit of an unknown at the moment.

2, Apply for an EAD asap. I think that you mention that you have done that, maybe you can put it into your mind that you will get this and what do you want to do for work after you get it. Maybe that will give you something to focus on.

Now once you get your GC, I think that for marriage based cases you can apply for citizenship 3 years after that. So after your GC a reasonable assumption would be that you were 4 years away from citizenship. That way even if you and your husband decide to move to the UK, you could always come back without any issues.

Of course sometimes 4 years feels like a lifetime.

Now moving back to the UK is definitely easier than moving to the UK but there are hoops that you would have to jump through. The three main being,

Proving the relationship is genuine.
Proving you have somewhere to live.
Proving that you spouse wont resort to public funds.

For the third point, you could either get work here and then save up as much as you can and then apply. Or you could go back to the UK sort everything out and then apply. The latter option meaning you would be away from your husband.

Why does giving up the AOS application, cause a ban? I would assume it would make it more difficult as when you entered the US, you would have to prove ties back to the UK, etc, but if you were working and had a flat, etc I don't see why that couldn't be done. I would seek good experienced advice on the matter though.

Good luck.

Emma M

I assume that giving up the application would cause a ban as they would treat the application as abandoned, therefore the time I have been in the US would then be counted as overstay, wouldn't it?
I think it would be anyway.

mumof4

As far as I understand, giving up on an AOS does not cause a ban, it depends how you entered the USA!! If there wasn't visa waiver involved, you just need to apply for a full tourist visa in the future. Some of us came in on the VWP then applied for AOS. THus if we drop the AOS before getting travel documents, we're leaving the US on a seriously overdue VWP (ie+180 days)....that's what gives the ban (altho' the legal ppl on here can correct me if I got that all wrong:-))

Emma M

I did enter the country on a VWP

Dave_Was

I think you need to get some clarification on whether you gave up the AOS outside of the country whether you would be okay.

I'm not sure whether you would need Advanced Parole to leave the country while you were still on an AOS application. You would need it if you decided to reenter the US and maintain your application.

I think that this is a tricky situation and best of getting the advice of an attorney.