Emma M

This looks like the best place to put this because everywhere else on this site seems fairly happy so they can't understand me at all.
In October 2007, I came to the US on a 10 day visit to see my fiance. We ended up getting married while I was here, and I was going to use the whole 90 days on my visa to stay here and then go back once it was up.Then early December, we went to stay with his parents for a while, and while there, they said that they would pay for all the costs for immigration, and we could pay them back once I got working. We thought this was brilliant, and accepted their offer, we applied for immigration and all of that is pending, Ive got as far as having my Biometrics so far.
We got swept away by this generous offer and wanting to be together so badly, after 2 years of a long distance relationship, internet, telephone calls, letters, visits every few months, we thought let's do it!
But now I'm not happy. I'm happy with my husband, but it's this place! I'm just not settling, part of me doesn't want to settle, I just want to be home. I believe we made a dreadful mistake, and we should have stuck to our original plan, which was for him to move to the UK. But we had an oppurtunity and took it, and it has landed us in a situation that I wasn't entirely ready for.
He has never liked NC anyway, he moved here for his first wife and hasn't been able to escape it because of financial reasons, so what are the chances of us escaping it to get back to the UK?!
I feel I'm well and truly stuck and I don't know what to do now.
I'm bloody sick of it all. I just want to go home, curl up on the sofa and eat a big bar of Galaxy.
Does anyone here knoww what our first realistic option is? I haven't even got my green card yet, so I can't even work, and we don't have enough money to even get me home so that we can go about getting him over there.
Why oh why do I always screw up everything? :curse:
Thanks for any advice you may have, and at the least, thanks for letting me vent!
Em.xx

Triboy

I really feel for your situation and can't really offer any advice. I'm suck in Oz because of my wife's unfinished degree, and it does take strength, and we all go through the 'what did I do' moments. But stick around, there are many great people here, who for one reason or another can't be where they want to be. And if nothing else, you'll be able to vent guilt free, and have a laugh.

'Being a grown up is really hard'

Emma M

Well at least I can vent guilt free! lol!

TruBrit

this is like your post a few weeks ago, seems things have not got any better. why not wait until you have your green card or can at least work and give that option a go?

geeandtee

I'm sorry to hear that you're unhappy and I can certainly understand. It has got to be tough and especially if you can't work. I know it will be difficult, but if you could at least hang on until you've got your Green Card, that will at least give you some options. If you are both working then you can get the money together to either get out of NC or, if you still feel like returning, flying back to the UK. We've been here on H1-B and H4 visas and my DH has only just received his EAD and just in the nick of time. Not being able to work was driving him up the wall, so I certainly can appreciate your situation. We've been lucky and have settled pretty well, but I know that it's not the case for every one and, in the end, you have to do what suits you best.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

RoB1833

I know exactly how you feel.....

When I first moved over to the US about 5 years ago I ended up in a sleepy town in NC (no real jobs and mostly broke) with my wife and the culture shock, having lived just outside Manchester was HUGE.

I got lucky and landed a job in Boston, Ma (the company paid for relocation). The similarities with home were quite surprising, we lived in Salem at first and I began to feel more at "home". We have moved from place to place and now I'm much more settled living in our own house in a smaller town in New Hampshire. Believe it or not after 4 years of living up here we're planning a retreat back to NC for the more simple life.......

Anyway, if you can try to move to an area with a bigger city - if it hadn't happened for us I would probably be back in England by now as well.

Elvira

Your 1st realistic option? Depends where you want to live.

You do not need to wait for your GC to be able to work. Apply for your EAD (form I-765). You could have applied for this with your AOS package, but as long as your I-485 is in the works, you can still apply - though it will take up to 90 days to get it.

Or you can abandon AOS and return to the UK, get a job and sponsor your husband to move to the UK. The process of bringing a spouse to the UK is much easier than the other way.

Whatever you do, don't have any kids until you've sorted this out.

quoll

Have no idea Emma but just sending you some positive cyber chocolate vibes to help while you cogitate! Whatever you do, put a time frame on it so you dont get stuck in a place you loathe.

Poppy girl

Emma you said that you don't even have your green card yet so you can't work you follow these boards and I am sure you know but just want to clarify you don't need a GC to work you can get the EAD before approval.
Once you start to work and get out of the house you might feel a bit better.

Good luck don't give up yet

Emma M

Things aren't that much better really, they are better between my husband and me, we are getting along a lot better than we were, just not better as far as me being here. Yeah it looks like that is really our only option.

Emma M

I did apply for my EAD with my AOS paperwork, but they are messing about with requests for evidence (which we already sent them) and payment for applications (already been paid for but they gave us 2 different receipt numbers for the application for alien residence so think there are 2 different applications pending when there is only one for my husbands application for me to stay, plus my AOS.)
I know that it is easier to get him to the UK now, I didn't know that before, I found this site too late!!

Emma M

I feel I already am stuck in a place I loathe. Isn't it horrible when that happens? I have no connections here, no friends, VERY difficult to fit in around here, I have tried meetup.com, I have tried just being friendly, but people are just so damn cliquey! The only thing they are interested in is that I have a different accent, and that's getting a bit tedious now. It's like all I have is my husband here, and everyone and everything else I know and love is in the UK. I'm glad I did it, took the plunge and found out, but now I know, I want to go home.

Emma M

True, once I get out and about working, I might feel I have some control over the whole situation then, and I wont feel like it is all just eating me up.

Emma M

If you are happy with NC, then brilliant!
Its just not right for me, if all my family and friends were here, and I could drive, and I had grown up here, then it would be the most gorgeous place on earth, but I just don't have the connections to this place that make it anything important to me.
I didn't know I was so sentimental about my little chavvy pikey town on the Thames... but I am I daydream about the day I can go back.

Emma M

I think we have both decided that the UK is for us, my husband wants to get out of here too. He has been lucky enough to have lived in many states here, so he isn't a stranger to moving around, he compares things here to the UK more than I do at times, lol! So really it is an issue of money. Doesn't stop me feeling peed off about being here in the meantime though. Poppy is right, I need to get working, once I do then I will feel I'm contributing towards getting us out of here.