elswan

Hello,

I am currently in a 2 1/2 year long long distance relationship (uk/us) and my partner and i have long been discussing getting engaged and married t enable us to be together.

i have read through a bunch of information about different visas for spouses or to-be spouses (fiance/immigrant/nonimmigrant) and am completely lost as to which would be best for our situation.

We have both decided that we do not want a small/quick registry office wedding, as he has a big family who we both want to attend and i have a tiny family (just me and my parents) and its important to me that we have a "real" (sorry idk a better word) wedding and do the whole thing proper.

After looking at visas, i cant see the best way to do this. It seems that with the fiance visa there is no way of knowing the exact dates which i would be in the US to get married to be able to plan a wedding, and with the other two visas it seems like i would have to get married whilst visiting on VWP and then leave, meaning leaving my would-be husband and going to live back with my parents in the UK for an unknown amount of time (and i am very tired of saying goodbye now, let alone once married).

has anybody else done this or do you have any advice regarding this?

I also wanted to ask, how many of you would recommend an immigration lawyer? We really dont want to pay for one however after doing so much research myself and being not much closer to understanding the process, i feel like it might be necessary.

Thanks.

Rete

99% of us did not use an attorney. Those are your two options. Fiance Visa and/or the Immediate Relative Visa. There is no third visa.

You and the groom want a big splashy wedding with all the pomp and circumstances that go with it and hopefully, your parents are willing and can afford to fly to the US to attend said wedding and all the costs that are involved, i.e. hotels, meals, sightseeing, etc. Can you both afford the cost of said wedding plus the thousands of dollars involved in getting a visa to live with your husband in the US?

I have no clue just how young you both are but I'm assuming you are teens or in your early 20's since you still living at home. You have not touched on other aspects of migration, I.e. employment, which most members find to be the #1 criteria. Life, particularly life that involves immigration, is not easy and demands a lot of sacrificing. Only you and he can decide which sacrifice you are willing to make. A non-lavish wedding ceremony if you go the fiancée route or just contenting yourself with visiting your husband a few times over the 14 to 18 months it will take to get the immediate relative visa.

Either way is the way to go if it is your choice. I went the K-1 route and still had a lovely wedding with 44 guests who traveled to the wedding from the far reaches of Canada and the US. They enjoyed a reception with a four course dinner, music, dancing and a cocktail hour. Today most go for the immediate relative visa route because they rather have it over and done with, receive a green card at the port of entry with the approved visa, have the right to work immediately upon entry. As I said, it is your choice.

Instead of thinking just about the ceremony, why not look at the comparison chart of the two visas. The link to the wiki chart is at the start of this forum.

Noorah101

Hi and Welcome to BE. You actually have done good research and have come up with the 2 correct options, K-1 fiance visa or CR-1 Spouse visa. These are your only two options.

Which one is best is whichever one works for your particular relationship and priorities.

Many people choose the K-1 because they don't want to be separated from their spouse after marriage...but it means more of a quickly planned marriage ceremony because you can't pinpoint a date until you have your visa. That being said, your visa will typically be valid for 4 or 5 months, and then you have 90 days to wed in the USA, so I'm sure something nice can be planned within a 6 to 8-month time frame, no?

Many people choose the CR-1 so they can plan the wedding to their liking, but then it means being separated from their spouse after marriage (although visits are still allowed). The CR-1 has an advantage in that you become a US PR upon entry to the USA with full right to live and work in the USA from Day 1 (without having to go through adjustment of status as with a K-1). This aspect is important to many people who want to work in the USA soon after entry.

Ultimately the choice is yours.

Rene

Nutmegger

If you have the small wedding in order to apply for the spouse visa (a big benefit of this is the ability to work immediately upon arriving in the US and activating the visa), you can still have a lavish party afterwards to celebrate your union. You can enter the US to marry on the VWP (and bring your parents along for the occasion), as long as you leave afterwards to complete the visa process.

elswan

Rete, it is both me and my partner that want a "big" wedding (not splashy, rather at a church instead of registry office, with all our family and friends, just not a rushed wedding) - as i pointed out i am an only child and i cant justify taking away my dads opportunity to walk me down the aisle and my moms opportunity to help plan a wedding for her daughter (which i know she has always wanted) to 'speed things up' or because of living in different countries. Basically we want something that requires planning time, not something that we go to, say vows, sign and leave. I wouldn't call it a big wedding at all, sorry i was really misleading about that in my original post. More a small wedding thats thoughtful and planned out, was what i was trying to say.

Please don't assume were young because i live with my parents (he doesn't), not many people are moving out young these days. We are both in our late 20s. I have worked in the US for the past 4 summers on a J1, that combined with the fact that i am constantly visiting on VWP, there is no point in me getting my own place. There is also no reason for me to move out and have to pay expenses, when i need to be saving up for visa/wedding costs.

I have a BA(hons) degree in Film and TV production. I am confident about finding work whilst over there, because of my 4 years experience already working in the US, i have plenty of contacts in the industry who are willing to give me a job (none of them are able to sponsor work visas - i already tried that route) My old place of work is also able to give me a permanent job (they were only able to sponsor J1) but all of this is on the condition that i already have a visa. I also have my own freelance business in the UK which im very confident i can still do in the US (videography for weddings/concerts/promos/adverts/christenings etc etc). My partner is also able to financially support me if necessary (although it would be a huge struggle)

I know a life of immigration demands a lot of sacrificing, which is why we have waited until we are beyond certain to start the process.

Our wedding would probably be around 70 guests (most of my close friends live in the us and i only have my parents that would need to fly over - which is cheaper than my partners large family flying to the UK). From your description of your wedding, it sounds like that is our best option to be able to plan and be together. Your wedding sounds like it was lovely

elswan

We have friends doing this, both of us are very against it - we just want a wedding that our friends and family can be a part of whilst we are actually getting married (rather than after) my concern was just about planning time. I do think 6-8 month would be enough if i opted for the k-1, though.

elswan

Thank you, thats VERY helpful.

Do you have any idea how long it takes to go through the adjustment of status with a k-1 after getting married?
I have read that the CR-1 can take around 18 months, depending on circumstance, so that is how long we would be apart after getting married if we went down that route?

These are the two things i couldn't find many answers on doing research. Probably overlooked.

Noorah101

Time frames have been fluctuating a lot lately, and if course can still change again in the future, so it's really hard to say. I'd plan on 12 to 18 months for either one, and them be happy if its less, but not disappointed if more.

Figure 12 to 18 months for obtaining the CR-1 visa, but you can visit each other in the meantime.

Figure 12 to 18 months for AOS, but you'll get a work permit (EAD) probably about 4 months after applying for AOS.

Rene

Rete

Don't worry about how long the adjustment of status takes after the marriage. It is really irrelevant as the primary concerns are the rights to live in the US, work in the US and leave the US and return without having your petition nullified.

When you file for adjustment of status, you also include the petitions for an employment document and permission to travel outside of the US. It is part of the AOS package and the price includes all three petitions.

Employment document and Advance Parole (right to travel outside the US) is currently taking 120 - 180 days. Normally, it is 90 days. It might change by the time you petition in about a year's time.

You can find answers to all those questions by searching here on the forum. The search and advance search button is on the blue header.

So that means you cannot work or leave the US until this document is in your hands. The filing and acceptance of the AOS petition is all that is needed for you live in the US until it is adjudicated.

How is your mom going to plan a wedding in the US from the UK? We contracted with a hotel that had a restaurant, booked rooms for our out of state and country guests, and had the reception there. The owner of the restaurant took care of finding the music, flowers, and photographer.

elswan

When i say plan i mean be involved. Dress shopping doesn't have to be done in the US, we can look for flowers, a cake online. Little things like that we can do together. She can also travel to see me on a VWP and help plan. Most of my US friends are photographers. I'm not concerned about actually doing any of this, my original concern was having the time to do it/being able to do it on those visas.

BenK91

You could alternatively just have a courthouse marriage and then later down the line.

That's what we did, although we still haven't had our 'proper' wedding yet as we decided to put all our spare funds into buying a house first rather than flutter away thousands of dollars on a single day.

Rete

I'm not your enemy. Just asking you questions and asking you to be realistic about what is and is not important. You can buy your dress in the UK with your mother in attendance. As a mother, I know she would love to do that with you. She can help you decide what flowers, foods, music, etc. will be at your wedding. It is the perfect time for your parents and his to become better acquainted and the two moms can work together on the wedding.

The important thing is not just the wedding but what your needs are after the wedding on a K-1

1. Do you want to be in limbo in the US for 90 - 180 days without the ability to work or to travel? Remember to add the time from the date of entry to the date of filing for adjustment of status which is anywhere from 1 to 90 plus days til you have the paperwork and certified marriage certificate in hand to apply? Total time without working and traveling could be over 6 months.

2. Do you want to not have the eligibility to get a US driver's license until you have your employment document (EAD)?

3. If there is a family emergency back in the UK, are you willing to not go there or to go there and lose your pending status if your advance parole has not been granted?

4. Are you aware that you cannot do many forms of volunteer work because others get paid for that work and therefore, it is not considered true voluntary work?

This is what I and others are bringing to light. It is not just the ceremony that is important, although it is.

If you married in the US on the VWP and returned to the UK while your husband files for your conditional immediate relative visa (to be finalized at the US Embassy in London), you will enter the US and have none of those issues to worry about. You will be a permanent resident from day one.

Yes, you will be apart for 12 to 18 months but during that time you will have time to finalize things in the UK. Say goodbye to friends and family. Visit your husband in the US and he can visit you in the UK while you wait.

Read the threads from posters doing CR-1 processes. See how they handle this separation. I did it for five years. Noorah101 lived apart from her husband for all of their marriage. She in Arizona and him in California because he could only find work there. My husband refused to live in NY after retirement and I was too young to retire so I lived in NY and he lived in MS. We only saw each other twice a year. We just celebrated 20 years of marriage. Being apart doesn't end the love. In fact, in many cases, it enhances the romance and desire because you are apart.

So please, I'm not the enemy. I want you to think about all aspects of each visa and your lives. Leave the wedding out of it because you can have the wedding you want using either one. It just takes planning.

RICH

As a K1 back in 2004 my experience was that the wedding was planned with the date flexible. Once the visa was granted, the date can be confirmed. For a small wedding like mine, just parents, 2 months was plenty. For a bigger affair with most guests local, I see no major issue except booking the preferred venue if it is over popular!

elswan

Rete, i'm not sure what part of my response has indicated that i think you're my enemy; i apologise if i have came across that way. I can assure you i am very grateful for yours (and everyone elses) responses, they have been very helpful and insightful.

My parents and his have already met, they flew over on VWP they get along great so im sure they would love to do that together.

I don't mind being in limbo - i feel in limbo at the moment to be honest. I'm sure staying in the US without being able to work will be hard, but i don't hate the thought of that more than i hate the thought of being separate after being married. I am glad that has worked out well for you and other people, but i don't think its the best option for us. Having more time in the UK just doesn't appeal to me - the only ones i have to say goodbye to are my parents (who i know will be visiting often) and i don't have a single friend here (not trying to be sad its just a fact) so you can understand it isn't just about a wedding or work etc, its about getting my life in another country started - if i cant work or travel for 6 month, so be it.

As for the drivers license, this wasn't something i had thought of. I have always driven on my visits to the US (borrowed friends cars/used my partners). Am i able to use my UK license with the fiance visa? Or am i not able to drive all together until i get a EAD and then a US license? I would be moving to Philadelphia, i could definitely get away with not having a car for a while there, but it wouldn't be great!

I wouldnt be interested in doing volunteer work immediately, that isn't a worry either.


It is nice to hear that we would be able to have the wedding we want with either option, that honestly does answer my original question.

Noorah101

You'll have to look up the driving license requirements in Pennsylvania. It varies from state to state. That said, many states allow you to drive on the UK license for a little while, as long as you are getting your US drivers license as quickly as reasonably possible. The problem is, for K-1 visa holders, DMV is all over the place....some will grant a license based on the entry stamp expiration (90 days after entry). Some want you to first have the EAD in hand. Some grant the license just for the amount of time you are legally allowed to be in the USA (i.e. initially 90 days, after that with EAD 1 year, etc). Some grant the license for years no matter what. You'll just have to see what PA says when the time comes.

Rene