melissajean

Ok, a couple of months ago I was on here explaining how I got detained at Heathrow and got sent back to the US because I had no visa. Now, please, let's skip the part where I'm an idiot and thought I could move there without one. Okay, now that I'm past that, I have some questions about my b/f coming here. Now since I was detained and sent back here, I figured, it'd be a lot easier if he came here to see me. We haven't met in person, we've been talking close to 1.5 yrs. Now, here is my dialemma. If he comes here...so hypothetically speaking of course...if he comes here and IF we want to get married (I'm not saying we will because it's certainly possible that we won't.) and he will be going back, is there any need for the fiance visa? I feel like I'm running circles around this whole thing. I seriously, need step by step, give it to me in idiot terms, explanation on what to do. I'm concerned about the costs as well. Now don't get me wrong, if it takes us 20 years to save up to do this we're not giving up on each other. But, I'm not a professional. See, I don't think some people understand. I've had several people call me irresponsible, but how in the hell can you pick who you fall in love with? I love him more than anything in the world and just want to be with him so much it's killing me. I've tried to be positive and strong through this whole ordeal, but it's really just traumatizing. If anyone understands, I know you guys do. Anyway, back to what I was saying. If he wants to get married and not stay here but go back, should he apply for a fiance visa anyway? What are the costs? Would we be better off on him coming here for a holiday, then him going back, then applying for a fiance visa? I'm just so confused. I keep reading all of this stuff and I just don't have any clue where to start from. Thanks you guys for your help, I certainly need it. Now I would love to move over there instead of him coming here, as would he. But considering my past attempt, I don't know if that'd work. I didn't have a visa or a return ticket, I told them I wanted to move there. I didn't lie to them. My b/f told the IO he wanted to marry me, he didn't think it'd do any harm saying so, but I'm guessing it did. Because the way it sounded to me was I need a fiance/marriage visa before going over there again and the only way to obtain one is to meet in person first. When I called the IO at Heathrow today, the woman on the phone told me I'd need a vistors visa, bank records, return ticket, itinerary, etc. But even still, I am super worried that I'd be detained again and it would be wasting money that we can use in doing things another way. Someone please help me, I've barely slept for months, and I'm just having an emotional overload.

sambapink

I'm sorry that your going through this.. but just from what you have said.. if i were in your shoes i would just have him come out for a week or 2 to visit with you. I understand that you feel you have a strong relationship, and i'm not making light of that - but honestly i think it would be daft, if not irresponsible to carry on without actually meeting eachother. No matter how you may be feeling now - the whole visa process could magnify all of those emotions - be absolutely sure thats the route you want to take. I wish you both the very best.

Noorah101

OK, deep breath. If you haven't met in person at all, then he simply CANNOT even get a K-1 fiance visa to come here anyway, because a requirement for getting that is to have met in person at least once. So that's out.

Next, yes, it is possible for him to come here on the VWP, marry you, then go back home to finish his Immigrant Visa process. He can stay up to the 90 days allowed on the VWP, then go home. After you get married in the USA while he's here, you (the USC) will file an I-130 plus supporting documents, to get the ball rolling towards his immigrant visa.

He should bring plenty of evidence of his ties to his home country, in case they question his intent at the POE. A letter from his employer saying when he is due back to work, a letter from school saying when he's due back in class, mortgage/rental paperwork showing he owns/rents a place back home, proof of funds to cover his stay in the USA, and most definitely his return ticket home.

Rene

Noorah101

Or, of course the other alternative is....he comes to visit you on the VWP, you guys decide to get married in the future, then you can file an I-129F towards his fiance visa so that next time he returns to the USA using that visa, he can marry you then, and stay afterwards (without having to return home for anything).

Rene

lisa67

Hi. I read your story on the other board you posted on. Without going back and finding it I think others gave you some sound advice, namely get him to come over for a visit on the VWP with a return ticket and proof that he has something to return to in the UK(does he have a job yet ?).
At POE tell him to just answer questions he is asked but not to put forward any further info. if it isn't requested. Best not to mention that he is coming to visit his girlfriend and that he hopes to marry you, just that he is visiting friends for a vacation. When you've spent your vacation together then he returns to the UK and you can move on from there (or not).
Sorry I can't help you woth fiance visa info. Glad to see you're still "hanging on in there".

Noorah101

Another alternative, if you both are nervous about getting into the US or UK, is to meet in a 3rd country, that way you'll both be on vacation.

Rene

lisa67

Excellent suggestion Rene...neutral territory and all that. What I wouldn't do for a romantic weekend in Paris !

augigi

I can't believe people consider marriage without ever having met in this day and age. You have some great advice. Good luck!

NC Penguin

I would suggest to the OP that she and her boyfriend meet in a country other than the UK or the USA and take the relationship from there. Each partner may feel a little differently the other other after actually spending some time in each other's company.

lisa67

Did anyone see the couple on NBC this morning who were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary after an "arranged" maariage that was televised when they got married in the Mall of America ? They are still together and have 3 kids and they'd only met each other for a couple of hours before they got married....crazy eh ?

Noorah101

I knew within a couple of hours of meeting my Mr. Right (in person), that he could be my man forever....turns out, 7 years later, he came over on the fiance visa, we got married, and just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary!

Rene

Rete

If you two meet up and decide that you want to marry, there is absolutely no reason why your British b/f can't come here, marry you, and then apply for your settlement visa at the British Consulate. I understand you are given the visa in one or two days top. Of course, he needs to meet the requirements, i.e. financial, etc. but if he has a job it should not be a problem.

Just Jenney

Personally I think they SHOULD meet in either her country or his. If they're at the point where -- before even having met -- they are considering marriage, the visiting partner should see the other in his/her normal environment, meet the other's friends and family, see where s/he works, does his/her shopping, etc. That's the best way to see what life would really be like to be with that person. Just my two cents...

I was in the OP's shoes several years ago. I met a New Zealander online and after about 6 months I went to NZ to meet and visit him in person. Before arriving I was pretty certain that he was the one for me. Prior to my visit we'd talked about immigration options because we thought marriage might be in the cards. As it turned out, he was a nice guy and we got along really well, but the sparks just weren't there and we didn't click romantically. It was heartbreaking for me because I'd really gotten my hopes up and was so disappointed that my future wasn't going to go the way I had thought it would.

The next year I met Mark online. It was a similar story: We both felt very strongly towards each other and talked seriously about immigration options and our possible future together. But we made a conscious effort NOT to make any decisions about marriage until we'd actually met in person and spent some time together. After 7 months, Mark came to visit me in the States for a month, and we KNEW that marriage was the next step. He proposed a week before he flew back to England, and I started the I-129F petition process right away. Five months later he was back, this time on a K-1 visa. We're celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary next Wednesday.

Thank goodness I didn't click with the Kiwi!!

~ Jenney

meauxna

hi again melissajean

This thread has such great advice.. I know you two have been struggling with the big 'what to do?!' question, but I think you would be doing yourselves the best thing to just meet in person first, enjoy each other and then talk about the future. No wonder you are overwhelmed, trying to plan the next 20 years over a period of a few months!
Just take things one step at a time.

AlienUk

I had decided I was going to marry my husband before we met in person.
In fact, I had decided this before we'd even started any 'romantic' discussion....We've been together 3 years now