PatchCordAdams

Hi all,
I am new to this forum, so please forgive me if anything is out of place. I did have an old account with a few posts, but that was a long time ago.
Anyway, I am a British male (25) with an American fiance (over a decade together), and I have my medical examination coming up fast. I am writing this to ask for advice on the subject, as I am absolutely petrified by what I've read on visajourney.
To be blunt, I used to be a habitual weed smoker (pardon the pun). I stupidly didn't ever consider that it would come back to bite me, but once I read about the medical exam a little, I immediately stopped. I was never huge on the stuff, but did it regularly nonetheless.
My question is this: when I am asked if I have *ever* done any drugs, should I tell them about this? I am positive that any traces of THC will have left my body by now, as it's been 7 weeks - and I won't be doing it ever again. I am scared though, because I have read that they ask this question and ban you for 1 year with mandatory drug rehabilitation classes before you can get married and finish the process. Obviously, this would be awful but it would definitely be better than lying, which is apparently a lifetime ban from the US.
I have no physical signs of ever using drugs. No erratic behavior, no dodgy mental illness (that I know of ), and other than me telling the doctor, I'm not sure how they'd ever even find out. However, if you ask this question on an official visa forum, they are bound by their rules to tell you to *always always always tell the 100% truth even if it was 1 joint 50 years ago*, and that seems a bit ridiculous to me. I have a totally clean criminal record, a perfect record of health, and I'm a very normal and well-adjusted guy. It'd just break my heart to disappoint my fiance and keep her waiting yet another year for something so stupid and insignificant.
Thanks everyone
- Patch

Noorah101

Hi and welcome back to BE.

Of course you should answer "yes", as anything else would be a lie. You may be asked to submit regular drug testing over the course of months to a year, but you won't know until you attend the medical.

Rene

PatchCordAdams

Thanks for the reply Noorah,
I get that, 100%. I don't ever want to be dishonest or anything if it can be helped, and obviously the consequences of lying are very heavy. I guess a better way to rephrase the question would be:
"How would they even know unless I told them?"
I acknowledge that an omission of truth is still technically a lie, but having to wait an extra year, and waste thousands of pounds on something I don't actually need, as well as deal with all the stress, anguish and disappointment that comes with it - all for something as innocuous as weed, seems like a net loss at the end of the day. As I said, I've swerved that stuff for 7 weeks now (and even before then, I wasn't huge on it), and I have zero plans to ever do it again, and I'm fairly confident that my screenings will come back clean. Basically the way I see it, I'd be costing myself thousands, causing a lot of stress and upset, all for being able to say "at least I didn't tell a lie." It already kills me to see how fed up my fiance is for being apart for so long, and I am too. We've already used both of our youths in this relationship and we're not getting any younger. I just want to be with her as soon as possible, and it seems like this is just an necessarily high hurdle. I mean, realistically, about half of the entire population have done some drug at some point in their life. I've read that even if you dropped acid once in the 70's, they want to know about it so you can do your 1 year drug program thing; which seems a little tight if you ask me. Surely not everyone who does this is 100% honest about past discrepancies...

Thanks again for the reply, and again I want to emphasise that I'm not looking for ways to be dishonest about this, I just worry that I've already ruined everything because of one bad choice and I've already learned a lesson from it all.

scrubbedexpat099

If they ask you then you have to answer, if they do not then there is no requirement to volunteer I know of.

celticgrid

That's good then.

Doubly good. You have the right approach.

Oh. Sorry. My bad.

Nutmegger

PatchCordAdams

I get it. It's just that I didn't even know all of this when I started, and If I did, I would have never gone anywhere near weed. Now I'm in a bad place worrying myself halfway to death and my fiance is too, and it's killing me to see her get so upset. Wouldn't anyone consider telling a little lie to be with their wife/fiance and to put an end to their misery? Not everything is so black and white.

PatchCordAdams

I should have specified it was on/off. I'd quit for 12 weeks every year beforehand and this habit was only 4 years. I am not some kind of addict or anything, I can literally decide to not do something ever again and stick to it. I need my fiance, like I need air. I can tell you right now that I'm done with it if that's what it takes. I just wish I hadn't been so stupid and done it in the first place.
Thanks for the replies though, everyone.

christmasoompa

PatchCordAdams

I understand this, and furthermore I never even said I was planning on lying. I'm simply weighing up the options of
>denying smoking some pot
or
>telling them (which is what I'm going to do) having to wait a year, spend thousands more pounds, and cause more pain and upset for the woman I love
I am a very honest person and I hate to even have to look into stuff like this, but can you at least appreciate the fact that for such a widespread and common thing such as weed; such a staggeringly heavy penalty is bound to make people nervous? I'm more focused on the aspect of the whole "You must tell them everything, even just a single joint 50 years ago" thing.

I've even read that if you are honest, they can still just ban you for life anyway, depending on the CO. Hence why I came here, to see if anyone had any advice and perhaps a walkthrough of the visa medical process in London. I want to - and intend on - being honest, but I am still nervous, and I'm wanting to know what to expect.
If I tell them I have smoked weed, and then they just ban me for life anyway, then what's the point in even being honest in the first place?
I'm not trying to go out of my way to have them off, I'm just genuinely a nervous wreck because of this, and I want to know as much as possible. I'm sick of losing sleep and seeing my fiance cry.

Thanks for the reply

Nutmegger

I doubt you would get a lifetime ban -- and your fiance can always come to the UK, it wouldn't end your relationship, just change your plans a little.

PatchCordAdams

Well, I hope you're right. She can't come here unfortunately, for she has a pretty decent job and she is listed as my affidavit of support. We've wanted nothing more than to be together for years and this is going to be such a blow to her. I really do hope I can continue on after this...Feeling very hopeless lately tbh

Noorah101

I think you're getting too worked up. Basic advice is to simply answer each question, either written or verbal, honestly. . without providing further details unless asked.

Rene

PatchCordAdams

Yeah, I've been glued to my computer screen for....17 hours now, doing nothing but research into this. I think you might be right about me getting too worked up. It's just that it will be absolutely soul destroying to fail this..to fail my beloved fiance. I don't even know how I'd tell her if I did end up failing.
I think my best bet is to (obviously) tell them the truth - that I used weed casually for a short time - give them my urine sample (which will be clean), and hope for the best.
Even though I have a clean bill of health and zero criminal activity on any kind of record, as well as no social media, knowing my luck it'd come back positive and then I'd have a much more bleak prospect on the horizon.

Furthermore, I've since read that it's not exactly an automatic 'no' every time from the London physician. Apparently it all boils down to whether or not they believe you are an addict and a current user, based on your lab work and your psychoanalysis. I'm fairly confident that I can pass these no problem, so there's a chance it won't even be an issue, but who knows really.

Do you know, if a person admits to doing any sort of drug, what kind of drug test do they actually use? Is it a hair test or a more detailed urine analysis?
And finally, should I get my long hair cut for the medical and embassy interview? It's shoulder length, and I know they can judge you on your appearance..

Cheers Rene
- Patch

Noorah101

You've gone from being a habitual user for 4 years, to now saying "casually for a short time". It can't be both.

You've been with your girlfriend for 10 years. Even if you have to do the 1 year drug testing, it shouldn't kill the relationship after this long together.

Sorry, I don't know the answers to your questions.

Rene