Albino Shaq

This is to get your mind off that pesky I-129F that is sitting at the
processing center.

A Texan died and was met at the gates of heaven by St. Peter, who proceeded to give
him the grand tour.

He showed the Texan a beautiful meadow, filled with wildflowers, but the Texan sadly
shook his head. "The Texas bluebonnets are prettier", he sighed.

Next, St. Peter showed the Texan a beautiful set of rolling hills and a crystal-clear
river, but the Texas hung his head and quietly mumbled, "I like the Rio Frio and
Guadalupe Rivers of the Texas hill country better."

Finally St. Peter grew angry and led the Texan behind a rock to a hidden elevator.
The doors opened and they began to descend, down, and down and down. The air got
hotter, and when the doors finally opened, the Texan was hit with a blast of heat and
saw flames leaping into the air. "Got anything like this in Texas?" St. Peter yelled.
"Nope," said the Texan, "but I've got know some oil field workers in Houston who
could put out this fire for you."

BONUS FACT: Phoning God from Texas is a local call
--

"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and they are
safe." Proverbs 18:10

http://www.hiline.net/~jimost/james.html

Alvena Ferreira

John Travolta dies and goes up to the pearly gates. St. peter meets him and starts
questioning him: St. Peter: "Say, are you that same John Travolta that all the ladies
swoon after?" John: "Yep, that's me."

St. Peter: "And are you that same John Travolta that has made all those movies and
has money out his butt?" John: "One and the same."

St. Peter: "And are you that same John Travolta that has a jet and flies his own
plane everywhere?" John: "Yessir, that's me. Say, are you gonna let me into
heaven or not?"

St. Peter: "Oh, yes, my son, you are going to get inTESTbut it is going to be one
hell of a big letdown for you!"