Rete

LOL ... I listen but only if I'm able to unscramble it first. ... no offense meant to Mr. Folinskyinla by that comment.

crashandcari

Ian..

I do get that this forum is for people wanting to come and stay in America, such as my husband, and that some people wouldn't understand wanting to go back to England (or whatever their home country is). I just thought at some point a similar situation may have happened to someone else.


Rete..

Thank you for your kindness. I honestly do not know where anyone got the idea from MY posts that I was happy to see our son go back to England. Believe me.. this was not an easy choice or decision for my husband and I to make. Especially knowing to whom he was going back. But at 16 some lessons need to be learned on your own. As adults we've all been through that at some point in our lives. And forcing him to stay would have made for a very tense situation when we knew that his going was something that he had to do.

However, knowing our son.. we know his feelings on coming to America and how he felt living here for over 2 years and seriously doubt he will choose to come back on his own. Yes he is only a teenager but those feelings never changed, in fact the urge to return to England only got stronger as he got older. While you can never say never we know what his plans are while back in England so it makes his return to America on a permanent basis even more unlikely.

I do apologize if I made it sound as if no one had responded with kindness or thoughtfulness. Was not my intent. And Rete is right. I can pick and choose what posts I want to respond to and which I want to ignore.

I do appreciate advice I have been given.

ian-mstm

To be fair, the OP has consistantly referred to her as a "half sister" which implies she is the daughter of the biological mother from another relationship, but not the daughter of the current husband.

Ian

Elvira

I have a son just like that, so I definitely know where you are coming from.

And I too am one of those desperate to return home.

However, this does not stop me from fighting tooth and nail to try and preserve my son's right to stay in the US - just in case he changes his mind at some time in the future.

ian-mstm

No worries... I'll be the first to admit that Mr. F.'s posts are often cryptic but, with a bit of effort, also decipherable! I try to take them at face value and try not to read into them anything other than what's written.

Ian

Folinskyinla

Hey Ian:

I know. A few years back, I was retained by a widow whose deceased husband had fathered a child in an extramarital affair. The child's biological mother had just been killed abroad in an automobile accident. The widow said "you may think this strange" but she wanted her children's half-sibling to be with the only blood relatives she had. We immigrated her as an immediate relative "step-child" of the US Citizen wife! We were also able to do it on an expedited basis due to the appealing humanitarian factors -- took about 11 weeks if memory serves me correct.

ian-mstm

Y'see... this is one reason I enjoy this forum... I learn new stuff all the time!

Ian

Rete

I figured something along those lines, i.e. hubby had an affair and/or first marriage which begot a child and then another affair and/or second marriage which begot another child and then a third/second/first marriage.

Hey it happens. My hubby's been married three times. Thankfully only had kids with the first wife and that is hard enough to deal with.

meauxna

Cari, you are getting lots of help. Hopefully you'll be able to back away and simply read it.. I do not see the judgments you're claiming, just questions.

It's not scrutinizing you--trust me, most here couldn't care. But your question is not all that uncommon and you've got the oppt'y to tap a good pool of knowledge here. Your questions lead to more questions. Answer what you are comfortable with, or ask why the person needs to know.

You say 'very simply' that the kid isn't coming back. We say, we've seen them change their minds and want to come back all the time. What is wrong with leaving that possibility open? (which you do say you agree with)

And I wish you'd stop waving 'other forums' around. I know of you from VJ, and if you're happy with the quality of information there, well, there you go. I wouldn't be satisfied with it, and since you're posting here, maybe you aren't either. But, you can't have it both ways. 'Better' answers sometimes require 'more' information. You get that from asking questions.


I got it the first time.. and that Room 222 comment elsewhere (YES you're dating us, stop it!!<g>)

Folinskyinla

Hi:

Even a weirder one I had 25 years ago back in the days when the immigration laws did not recognize the parental relationship between fathers and "illegitimate" offspring at all.

J & E were married and lived in Juarez Mexico. E gave birth to J, Jr. in El Paso [this was in the late 40's]. J then abandoned his family, moved to Tijuana where he "married" Ms. A without ever getting a divorce from E. There are two children of that "marriage" [who later obtain "Western Hemisphere Priority" registration. The classification no longer exists, but the priority date lives on and can be used with an numerically restricted category].

When J, Jr. becomes an adult, he asks his mother about his father. She informs him that he lives in TJ with a "hussy" with whom he has fathered two "little bastards." Shall we say that E has no love for those two children.

J, Jr. petitioned under what is now FB-4 classification -- although Dad is the common biological parent, he doesn't count because the two children in TJ are "illegitimate." However, the legal wife is the step-mother of those two "little bastards." SHE was the "common parent!" [Had we been able to use California law, children of a "putative marriage" were considered "legitimate" when that classification existed.]

ian-mstm

It just means we've been around for more than one dance... and, like a fine wine, we get better as we age... and more expensive, too!

Ian

Folinskyinla

Hi:

Further thought, if Dad naturalizes before son reaches 18 AND son still is an LPR, and son then toodles on back before his 18th birthday as a returning LPR with dad having legal and physical custody -- he instantly becomes a US citizen.

Also, if OP happens to worry about the I-864 obligation [and I'm NOT saying she "is," note the "if."], the obligation under the I-864 goes away.

Son would then REALLY have options open to him.

meauxna

Yes, yes, yes!

Cari, I hope you read this carefully.. options galore.

crashandcari

Thank you everyone for all of your advice. I do appreciate that one post opens to the door to questions in order to help me the best way possible.

I don't want to seem unthankful at all.. Its just been a very stressful situation at home with all of this going on as I'm sure you can understand.

Meauxna.. as for waving other forums around. One I didn't think I was doing that - I was just stating my opinion and two, I actually wasn't even thinking of VJ. I posted there first yes.. but got no responses so I came here. I meant other forums in general that actually have nothing to do with immigration.

Regradless I do appreciate all the advice we have been given. Once we figure something out I will let u all know.

Thanks