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she's going home
today is the most terrible day of my life. for anyone who doesnt know the story i met a wonderful austrian women on jan. 7 2001. we fell in love, i proposed, she accepted. we applied for the K-1 and was separated for 10 months to be reunited on Oct. 30 2003. we talked about so many things we would do in our future and when we were reunited. everything was so sure and positive. and as time went on the homesickness got worse. she tried to fight it or ignore it but of course nothing really helps when you miss home.
we were to be married Dec. 18 2003. the day before she told me about of her worries and fears. we cancelled the wedding to reschedule it after the holidays and maybe then she wouldnt be so homesick. i woke up today and she said she thinks she will go home. she called her mom and ordered a ticket for tomorrow evening. i took her to a hotel at the airport and i just got home from saying goodbye. going through life alone is hard. the thought of never seeing or having her again tears me up inside. but her staying here does not make her happy. its a no win deal. at least when she is home she will have her family that she has missed so bad. i love her so much that i had to let her go. i know she loves me more than anything in the world. it wasnt a matter of not being in love. it was a matter of this is not her home. and her family is not just a short drive away. we were the perfect match. it was the right people, but the wrong place. neither of us know how we will move on in life when we know that the other is out there somewhere and we have met but we cant stay together. it hurts so bad right now, that i cant feel anything inside. i think there is a lesson in everything that happens in our life. i wish i knew what this lesson was cuz right now i cant make any sense of why god would put us through this two year long experience only to be torn apart like this. i wish everyone luck in there journey for a new life together. |
Re: she's going home
I'm so sorry you're going through that, especially at this time of year. Moving away does take a lot of time to adjust. It took me a good year when I moved to Spain and even now I'm still very unsettled.
Is there any way you can relocate? |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by brianheart today is the most terrible day of my life. for anyone who doesnt know the story i met a wonderful austrian women on jan. 7 2001. we fell in love, i proposed, she accepted. we applied for the K-1 and was separated for 10 months to be reunited on Oct. 30 2003. we talked about so many things we would do in our future and when we were reunited. everything was so sure and positive. and as time went on the homesickness got worse. she tried to fight it or ignore it but of course nothing really helps when you miss home. we were to be married Dec. 18 2003. the day before she told me about of her worries and fears. we cancelled the wedding to reschedule it after the holidays and maybe then she wouldnt be so homesick. i woke up today and she said she thinks she will go home. she called her mom and ordered a ticket for tomorrow evening. i took her to a hotel at the airport and i just got home from saying goodbye. going through life alone is hard. the thought of never seeing or having her again tears me up inside. but her staying here does not make her happy. its a no win deal. at least when she is home she will have her family that she has missed so bad. i love her so much that i had to let her go. i know she loves me more than anything in the world. it wasnt a matter of not being in love. it was a matter of this is not her home. and her family is not just a short drive away. we were the perfect match. it was the right people, but the wrong place. neither of us know how we will move on in life when we know that the other is out there somewhere and we have met but we cant stay together. it hurts so bad right now, that i cant feel anything inside. i think there is a lesson in everything that happens in our life. i wish i knew what this lesson was cuz right now i cant make any sense of why god would put us through this two year long experience only to be torn apart like this. i wish everyone luck in there journey for a new life together. |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by dutchman2001nl If you love her that much, then why not go with her and start a life there? i cant go there to start a life for a few different reasons. i have a 8 year old son here who needs a father. my fathere walked out of my life and i wont do it to my son. i dont speak german so i wont be able to work there. no work means i cant pay child support. and i also get homesick. thats why i dont have any bad feelings against her. i understand how she feels. |
Re: she's going home
Brianheart,
I am so sorry about what has happened :(:( . Is moving to her home country a possibility, or have you already talked about that with her? Juliet |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by jcapulet Brianheart, I am so sorry about what has happened :(:( . Is moving to her home country a possibility, or have you already talked about that with her? Juliet Juliet |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by brianheart we were to be married Dec. 18 2003. the day before she told me about of her worries and fears. we cancelled the wedding to reschedule it after the holidays and maybe then she wouldnt be so homesick. |
Re: she's going home
Brianheart,
I feel so sorry for what is happening to you. I can kind of relate to your story, as I was in a similar position as your fiancee. If you don't mind, let me tell you my story. I met my husband on line in 1996 in a chat room, we e-mailed each other and send letters etc. Finally in 1998 my now husband asked me for my phone number, and the phone conversations started. That's when things got more serious. A couple months after that he decided he wanted to come meet me in the u.s., and he booked a flight in May of 1999. When he came everything was wonderful, we were both terrible in love, and even though he was only hear for 2 weeks, I knew I wanted to be with him forever. He proposed to me and we decided to get married 5 months later. I went to live with him in spain, and after about 2 months of living with him, I started getting home sick. My husband kept on asking me to please try and wait a little longer and that maybe I could get over it. Well, 3 1/2 years later I was dying to go back home. I had just had a baby, and couldn't of had felt more lonely, I was so depressed. I finally convinced my husband and he agreed that we would try to live in the u.s., and "hope" that the same won't happen to him. Me and the baby came back a couple months ago, and it is now, that I realize how important he is to me. Now, that we have been separated for 7 months, do I understand how much I truly want to be with him, regardless of where we live. I think it was a good idea for us to be separated for a couple of months, it was a good idea for me to kind of take a step back, and analyze my emotions. Yes, I missed my family, my parents and my friends, but now that I have that again, all I want is to be with my husband. When I was living with my husband, I didn't realize "how much" I loved him. I know I love him enough to be with him no matter where that may be. As long as we are together. I apologize for rambling on, but I guess what I was trying to say is that maybe you just need to give her time. "Maybe", just maybe if she goes back, she can think things out, and sort out her emotions and realize what she really wants. Just like I did. If it's meant to be, in the end you two will be together. Originally posted by brianheart i cant go there to start a life for a few different reasons. i have a 8 year old son here who needs a father. my fathere walked out of my life and i wont do it to my son. i dont speak german so i wont be able to work there. no work means i cant pay child support. and i also get homesick. thats why i dont have any bad feelings against her. i understand how she feels. |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by Michi Brianheart, I feel so sorry for what is happening to you. I can kind of relate to your story, as I was in a similar position as your fiancee. If you don't mind, let me tell you my story. I met my husband on line in 1996 in a chat room, we e-mailed each other and send letters etc. Finally in 1998 my now husband asked me for my phone number, and the phone conversations started. That's when things got more serious. A couple months after that he decided he wanted to come meet me in the u.s., and he booked a flight in May of 1999. When he came everything was wonderful, we were both terrible in love, and even though he was only hear for 2 weeks, I knew I wanted to be with him forever. He proposed to me and we decided to get married 5 months later. I went to live with him in spain, and after about 2 months of living with him, I started getting home sick. My husband kept on asking me to please try and wait a little longer and that maybe I could get over it. Well, 3 1/2 years later I was dying to go back home. I had just had a baby, and couldn't of had felt more lonely, I was so depressed. I finally convinced my husband and he agreed that we would try to live in the u.s., and "hope" that the same won't happen to him. Me and the baby came back a couple months ago, and it is now, that I realize how important he is to me. Now, that we have been separated for 7 months, do I understand how much I truly want to be with him, regardless of where we live. I think it was a good idea for us to be separated for a couple of months, it was a good idea for me to kind of take a step back, and analyze my emotions. Yes, I missed my family, my parents and my friends, but now that I have that again, all I want is to be with my husband. When I was living with my husband, I didn't realize "how much" I loved him. I know I love him enough to be with him no matter where that may be. As long as we are together. I apologize for rambling on, but I guess what I was trying to say is that maybe you just need to give her time. "Maybe", just maybe if she goes back, she can think things out, and sort out her emotions and realize what she really wants. Just like I did. If it's meant to be, in the end you two will be together. she just called me from the hotel and said she dont know if she is making the right decision.....if she stays she fears she will eventually let the homesickness destroy our relationship.....if she goes she'll never have me again. i said i cant make that decision for her....but whatever it is.....she has to live with it. its a very hard time right now. nothing is for certain. but who knows. she cant have it both ways. and its not fair to me to have to worry about this every month. but i understand how she feels. |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by brianheart she just called me from the hotel and said she dont know if she is making the right decision.....if she stays she fears she will eventually let the homesickness destroy our relationship.....if she goes she'll never have me again. i said i cant make that decision for her....but whatever it is.....she has to live with it. its a very hard time right now. nothing is for certain. but who knows. she cant have it both ways. and its not fair to me to have to worry about this every month. but i understand how she feels. |
Re: she's going home
I hate to see people give up after so short a time. You really have to give a new country at least a year. :(
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Re: she's going home
Originally posted by Steffi So is she contimplating staying afterall? I hope everything works out for you! |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by brianheart she just called me from the hotel and said she dont know if she is making the right decision.....if she stays she fears she will eventually let the homesickness destroy our relationship.....if she goes she'll never have me again. i said i cant make that decision for her....but whatever it is.....she has to live with it. its a very hard time right now. nothing is for certain. but who knows. she cant have it both ways. and its not fair to me to have to worry about this every month. but i understand how she feels. You have asked several questions about the K1 here, correct?? I think it was you, your nick is VERY familiar. I am sorry this is happening to you, I have just got approved my I-129 petition for K3, my hubby and I have talked about what if I get too homesick , I am very attached to my family but I love my hubby like crazy, there is loads of ways I can keep in touch with my family such as: Webcam, the phone, trips to visit each other. I know that when the time comes I will be crying out loud.. but thats natural, it will be weird for me or for you fiancee not to cry at all, I think she needs time to analyze her emotions.. but again it is her decission. I hope everything works out for you guys:):) |
Re: she's going home
So sorry to hear of your predicament. I must confess I wonder how bad the homesickness will be for my husband when he finally gets here.
I have to applaud you, though, for putting your son first! That takes courage and lots of love. I hope once your beloved goes home for a bit she'll realize she can live away from her home and the ties to you will pull her back here. |
Re: she's going home
Originally posted by brianheart Today is the most terrible day of my life. |
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