anyone4tea

Good point, but I believe it's evidence of relationship, rather than marriage in this case.

What did I send of proof of relationship?

Pictures of us together - one of which I was bikini-clad and being carried by him in front of a waterfall. Also, pictures of us out doing "stuff" - an outdoor concert, A picture in a queue at a roller coaster on Six Flags, a sepia "civil war" picture of us (v.funny - he had to stand on a box to look taller than me!!), another bikini picture of us on the beach at Panama City in front of his sand sculpture of the White House (!)...

Prints of the inboxes of my work/personal accounts showing the sheer volume of email flying back and forth between us - showed both stuff I sent to him, and stuff he sent to me, printouts of my international telephone bill showing the ridiculous amounts of calls!

Photocopies of boarding passes and itineraries for the three trips I made last year to see him, and photocopies of credit card receipts for companies around the area of his home.

I am very careful to ensure that I keep everything that could be construed as evidence of our relationship - it's bordering on the obsessive!!

Kath

dave w

In our case we had

you know what they asked for and didn't require any more?

They got six emails from my fiance at St Lukes and thats it.
They also approved us.

I was thinking, hey you guys look at all this hard work here!
lol. oh well, I will take the approval anyway they want to give it.

Andrew Defaria

Folinskyinla wrote:

    > Hi:
    > Honey get you more than vinegar. For my taste and based upon my
    > experience, it is too acusatory.

Acusatory?!? I fail to see one accusation. Could you please point out an
accusation in that email?

I see it more as simply a statement of what had happened with no blame
or finger pointing at all. I'd love to see what you think was an accusation!

Alicia&Driss

Hi I want to say thank you all for your responses! This am as soon as I got to work I called the Congressman’s office and they could not believe that this is the reason they put for us not getting the visa yet, asked for my letter and they too faxed it to Morocco. I have not heard anything as of yet, I expect to hear something Tuesday. Because the offices will be closed on Monday. And as far as the things mentioned, all these were sent (except picks of me in a bikini , and we have no personal websight ) Name change and life insurance policies etc., this was all with the papers of Support that was turned in at the same time. I have read and reread (about 1000 times) my email today, and I feel safe that this is just what I want to say. Actually you should read the ones my brother sent out today. Hahahaha I think he was more furious at the situation than I was. (he works for the Govt. and makes many trips to DC )
Is so sweet of you darljl to stay up thinking about this. I was too…lol about 5am I finally laid down and woke at 7 for work. As far as financial evidence, we really don’t have any. I live here and support myself. And he is in Morocco and supports himself, Mother and sisters. So we have no money exchanges. And as far as credit cards in both names. I don’t use them. I have one for an emergency, and he is on it. But they too got that paper showing this. So I have no Idea, I really feel that this lady the interviewer has no real reason NOT to approve his visa and this was the only thing that she could come up with. Once again THANK YOU ALL for your care and concern. But Ill defiantly let you know as I find out.

Khadija

Dear Alicia,

I'm sooo sorry to hear of this! If they can blow off such solid evidence of a relationship - well it sucks big time!

I remember hearing that Consulate standards for this time of deferment/denial must be standard within the Consulate. If Leslie, Linda and the other Moroccan wives have had their cases approved on essentiall the identical evidence you submitted then, in the end, you should be OK. As you said, this person is probably CHA (covering her ass) for not documenting all the evidence your husband brought but was ignored.

As for what kind of attitude to take, I really didn't detect any. A little emotional but not accusatory. At least the situation is one you can remedy. You just have to get them to actually review what you bring this time vs. just glancing at it.

Murphy's Law on the reception thing, though. I'm not buying a bed (I currently sleep in a twin bed) until he's here! The last time I bought winter clothes in anticipation of him being here shortly after his December interview I'm convinced I jinxed myself (OK silly I know but what can I say...). So, no more advance planning. Period!

We're rooting for you! It will work out - it's not as if you can't overcome their supposed concern about your relationship.

Patty Khadijah

Alicia&Driss

Thanks Patty,
Yea as far as the reception I told my father not to plan it. But he did not listen to me at all Even a month ago when he gave me the date, I told him I didnt think it would be good to plan it this soon. But "father knows best" haha maybe next time he will listen to me Is so funny you have not bought your bed you. You know my granny bought us a new bed, I got it dilevered last month but I refuse to sleep on it untill Driss is with me. So as of now im camoing out in my office on a futon. I have not even sat on that bed yet. My 84 year old granny said when she bought it that it was Driss's new work bench.
Driss is on his way now to try and hand in our proof of the relationship AGAIN. I sure hope they will accept it and not turn him away. Bless his heart he is terrified. My husband is so shy and can get his feelings hurt so easily, I just pray they dont say something aweful to him this time around.

Khadija

To bad you can't fax him the receipt for the bed a note from your Granny including the "work bench" quote!

Inshaallah, they'll see him. Isn't the Embassy closed on Fridays in Morocco? I know in Egypt, as it's a Muslim country, it's closed Fridays and Saturdays for their weekend. Sunday is their Monday. But then I'm sure he'd know this before setting out.

We're all here for you. Lord only knows what the Consulate in Cairo thinks of our evidence! We sent in just about the same stuff you sent (although he withdraws money from our joint checking account and I've added him to my health/life insurances). Like you, we don't have credit cards (but he does have a debit card from our bank). Otherwise, it's identical, phone bills, video of us at his sister's engagement and wedding, hundreds of photos, copies of passport entries/boarding passes for my trips to Egypt plus our trips together outside Egypt, letters and cards.

My senator is writing a letter to Cairo inquiring about our administrative processing - it'll be interesting to hear what they say. Out of curiosity, how long was the Casa Consulate going to wait to let your husband know about the deferred decision? Sounds like you found out first.

Patty Khadijah

Alicia&Driss

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My senator is writing a letter to Cairo inquiring about our administrative processing - it'll be interesting to hear what they say. Out of curiosity, how long was the Casa Consulate going to wait to let your husband know about the deferred decision? Sounds like you found out first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I checked the internet and they are open on Fridays..lol
Well to be honest I dont believe they planned on telling us that his visa had been deferred. The only way we found out was through our Congressman. Because they only told Driss that they would call when his visa was ready, and in the letter the sent to the Congressman here they stated that they had already asked Driss for more proof, and that they were waiting to recieve this. So I think they were just going to let our I-129f petition expire seeing its only good till March 13th,2004
I hope you get some GREAT news when you hear back from your senator!!!!

Alicia&Driss

UPDATE
Driss went to back today to show proof, but was turned away at the door. However my brother got a response to his emails. And this is what we found out cut and pasted from email with little edit ) Notice, they did not get back to me as of yet.

There are two issues that are being addressed in Mr. ’s case. First, we have to process certain cases through administrative procedures required by law. This situation does apply to Mr. . We have started the necessary steps in this case and should have the response in a reasonable period of time.
The second problem is not as easily explained. Morocco has a long history of marriage fraud for the purpose of immigration to the United States. Consular officers here therefore are cautious when dealing with certain visa cases. In the case your sister and Mr. let me highlight some of the points that caused the officer concern. They met over the Internet and Mr. s English during the interview-lacked fluency so your sister and Mr. lack a common language in which to communicate. Your sister and Mr. met only one time in person, for 13 days, at the time of their marriage some seven months ago. There is an age difference with Mr. being about seven years younger than your sister. Your sister has a previous marriage, having been terminated a relatively short time ago. I point this out not to accuse your sister of any misconduct but only to reemphasize that we would be remiss in our legal duty to not carefully scrutinize marriage cases where we have reason to believe the marriage was for the sole purpose of obtaining an immigrant visa for the U.S.

Well First it im 6 years older. Second I have been divorced for 5 years and seperated even longer.
But this is what we did find out today, so who knows what will happen next. Driss will call them on Tuesday for an apointment.

Khadija

Alicia -

Certainly looks like you and I are in similar boats with respect to our marriages being doubted! I'm 13 years older than my husband. We also have the "language thing" in common. I've mentioned many times my husband's English is only functional. However, over the years, we've managed with the help of friends and a lot of patience.

We knew these would be red flags and did our best to address them upfront but apparently there's a set of rules we don't know about.

Also, we figured after almost 3 years of being together and 2 years of marriage, the "swept off your feet by a Middle Eastern lothario only interested in a green card thing" would be less of a factor but apparently they think my husband might be very, very patient or I'm very, very stupid!

We must keep our spirits up.

Patty Khadijah

Alicia&Driss

Yes it looks this way!!! But this boat aint goinna sink, Ill float in it for the rest of my life just to be with my husband for 1 day if that is all we are blessed with together.
Really Driss speaks okay English but when he was interviewed he said that she spoke so fast and was so rude, that he got so nervous he "lost his English" And for everyday over a year we have had no problems in communicating. Heck if he doesn’t know what im talking about, I just tell him in a different way. It works for us, as im sure you and your hubby too. Driss speaks French, Arabic, Berber, Some Spanish, and okay English. So its not like he cannot learn it better when he will speak it more often.
I can’t believe after your 3 years together and 2 years married that this is not proof enough!! Long-distance relationships are so hard, and to say that you have been together this long, WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? I sure pray that everything with the “home visit� went great and they will be able to issue the visa soon!! I am still in shock that they went to his house.
As far as age goes, my husband’s father died when he was 12 so he had no choice to grow up fast. He took over the family farm, and Graduated College and has 5 sisters (him being the only male) Bless them they have all been able to go to College, but the least one she is still in high school. I don’t know many men who would take this responsibility, much less a young one. He never even wanted to leave Morocco because he does have the responsibility of his family. And it’s so hard to leave them when there is no man to look after them, esp. in a male dominated country. But anyway, im sure you know what im talking about. Anyhow my point Driss is more mature than most 40 year olds that I know. And too he says he doesn’t care if I was 50 years older than him because our love is stronger than a bunch of numbers.
When is the last time you and your husband got to spend some time together? I wish that so soon you will be buying that bed He will need a new work bench too.....lol My granny would kill me if she knew I was telling this


[

Alicia&Driss

BTW- How did you get your pic added next to your name?? Mine no matter what I do always says "to Big"

Khadija

Wow! Kudos to your hubby for being so responsible. But, that's the nice thing about their culture, I'm sure he never even questioned it. They're his family and that what you do. That's one of the wonderful things about Abdo. When I told him my elderly mother would be living with us as I'm her caregiver, his response was something to the effect of "so?" as in isn't that the normal way of doing things in your culture?

I last saw my hubby in October when we spent two weeks in Bucharest (the tiny photo of us is from there). I had to be there for business so I brought him along for the ride. We're used to doing 6-8 month stretches though so at 3 months right now we're handling it OK. Inshaallah, this will be wrapped up soon.

Our plan is for me to fly over there after he has the K3 in his hands so we can fly back here together. There's one last step to this "visa gauntlet run" and that's the POE. Because my hubby's English is just OK and he's never experienced jet lag, I'll just feel better if I'm with him vs. waiting for him. I just had a male colleague from Egypt report to me that he was detained for over an hour at one of our airports. He had a business visa, speaks fluent English, has a master's degree from the U of TX but he was detained. Funny thing was, though, he's a Coptic Christian! So much for profiling.

Well I'm here for you and you're here for me. We'll make it!

Patty Khadijah

P.S. you have to keep using the cropping feature in Photoshop until it's close to the right dimensions, save it and then it should work. I can't post all those great smilies (except for those on this site) everyone else does because for some reason my html code is Off. No matter what I do to reset my profile, it does't switch on. Go figure.

Alicia&Driss

AHHHHHH I don’t have photoshop, Ive been trying to do it with my scanner program. Thanks!! Ill have to see if I cant get that.
That’s so great that you are taking care of your mom. I have the utmost respect for you and people that will take the time with their family members. I really love that aspect about their culture, not thinking twice about caring for family. I’ve never once heard Driss fuss about missing out on something or not having enough money because he’s paying for this or that. Has your mom gotten to meet Abdo yet? or having to wait till he finally gets here to officially meet her “new� son?
Wow you are sure blessed with your job being able to meet up with your husband every now and again! I can’t blame you at all for going to fly with him once he is approved. I really wanted to do the same, but instead I am going to fly to NY Inshallah so that we can fly the next 2 legs together and he wont be completely lost. Driss has never flown. lol
Yea, well make it……Just not as fast as we were hoping

Khadija

Alicia

If you Microsoft Office, you might have Photoshop already on your computer. Check before you buy.

My Mama is 74 and ailing. She has many chronic health conditions and suffered a stroke 4 years ago. There was never a question in my mind about caring for her. It's my responsibility and I love her. Period. Sometimes it's a bit tough as I'm an only child but she cared for me all those years so I'll care for her. Abdo respects this in me and tells me it's one of the reasons he married me. He said, in my heart, I was already a Muslim even before I converted. Caring for your parents, after praising God, is the next most important obligation a Muslim has.

Nope, Mama has never met Abdo although she's talked to him (haltingly between his accent, her deafness and minor confusion, it's not the easiest thing for her to do) and she's written him cards and letters. So, this will be quite an experience for her.

As a retired teacher, her "job" will be to bring his English up-to-speed so they'll have plenty of time to get to know each other while we're waiting for his EAD.

Patty