Barbara In Ky

1. We were married 2 1/2 years before my daughters papers were
finished.
2. I entered the US in June of 2000 and had my passport stamped with
I-551 for a trip to Dallas with the husband but had to come back to
Canada as daughters papers not thru
3. Husband came up to Canada in July of 2000 and brought me here for a
week. We rented Uhaul to bring my belongings here. Still had to go
back as daughters papers were not processed and I had to finish up
work. Was only supposed to be a month or two and papers should have
been finished.
5. Husband forgot to file one of the papers which extended length of
time for her even further.
4. I came down here again in November and December of 2000 for a week
at a time but still had to go back for daughters papers.
5. I arrived permanently in January of 2001 to work on marriage with
his approval, I might add.
6. In February of 2001 daughters papers were FINALLY done. Got her
passport stamped with I-551.
6. Hubby only mentioned that he was unhappy in November of 2000 but
wouldnt say why. Said he didnt want me to come for Xmas that year
because he wanted to see if he missed me. I came anyway.
7. It came out later (just recently in fact) that he was jealous of
my daughter because I went back to her in July and didnt stay with him
here. Wanted me to leave her up there and stay with him and if that
didnt work he wanted me to smuggle her through border instead of
waiting for her papers.
8. He agreed to have me get my own place here in the US while we
worked at the marriage. Said he knew he loved me but he had issues. We
never lived together.
9. Maybe there is no fraud case, but I loved and trusted him and he
broke my heart as well as my daughters.
10. He provided some financial support while I was here, but not
much. And very little while I was in Canada waiting all this out.
11. I get alimony now from him for 3 years.
12. I suppose he didnt gain anything for bringing us here and I sure
as hell didnt.

Thanks for the support from Rete and others.

Rete

A clinche, I know Barbara, but life goes on. You've been through a divorce and starting a new life before, as have I and countless others on this board and elsewhere. It is difficult at times to phatom why someone has acted the way they have. Especially difficult to understand when you both dreamed together and had expectations of a future only to find that to some dreams are only that and not something they are willing to work on to bring them to fruitation.


The big thing these days is seeking closure by knowing every detail that lead to the demise of a dream or a life. I heard it daily and see it in print constantly, especially in regards to the many lives lost at the WTC. Unfortunately, closure is not always neat and tied up with ribbons. More often than not, one makes their own closure by merely accepting the death of a relationship and knowing that you tried and loved but that a relationship involves two people and you can only ever know your own emotions and surmised reasons for its death. Hash it over in your own mind, mourn its death, and bury it. It is the past and providence willing, will remain there.

You and your daughter have choices to make now on how and where you want to live your life. I wish you both the best that this crazy world has to offer.

Rete