Sweetstx

Group,

I worry about my sweetheart and what his experiences will be like here. Although he
is white, I am not. I was wondering what your experiences have been in regards to
you, your fiancé(e)/spouse, and your relationships with your family, friends, and
strangers.

Other than ntepy who mentioned that her accent caused her grief because people
treated her differently, I haven't seen much on the subject. Although some may
view it as off-topic, I think it is very relevant to marrying a US citizen and
living in the US.

Thanks for your responses, Priscilla

Spam Is Only Go

I believe that blood is red the whole world over.

Skin colour is "God's giftwrap" which covers the presents what all people might
have inside.

Shooter

"SweetsTx" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > Group,
    >
    > I worry about my sweetheart and what his experiences will be like here. Although he
    > is white, I am not. I was wondering what your experiences
have
    > been in regards to you, your fiancé(e)/spouse, and your relationships with your
    > family, friends, and strangers.
    >
    > Other than ntepy who mentioned that her accent caused her grief because people
    > treated her differently, I haven't seen much on the subject. Although some may
    > view it as off-topic, I think it is very relevant to marrying a US citizen and
    > living in the US.
    >
    > Thanks for your responses, Priscilla

Alvena Ferreira

SweetsTx wrote:
    > I worry about my sweetheart and what his experiences will be like here. Although he
    > is white, I am not. I was wondering what your experiences have been in regards to
    > you, your fiancé(e)/spouse, and your relationships with your family, friends, and
    > strangers. Other than ntepy who mentioned that her accent caused her grief because
    > people treated her differently, I haven't seen much on the subject. Although some
    > may view it as off-topic, I think it is very relevant to marrying a US citizen and
    > living in the US.
    >
I imagine it is going to depend partially on where you are located. Generally, you
will probably find that if you reside in a city, things will be smoother, and if you
are out in the backwoods, things won't be as smooth. Will you be attending a church,
perhaps, where there are other interracial couples? That might help.

How does your family see the situation? If they accept your decision for an
interracial marriage, then that will obviously give you one more element of
support. Alvena

See the Doc Steen site here:
http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm I am not a lawyer, and this
is not immigration advice. The information I provide is mostly gleaned from old
newsgroup posts and visa links on the internet. If you want or need a lawyer, go to:
http://www.aila.org

Mrtravel

SweetsTx wrote:
    >
    > Group,
    >
    > I worry about my sweetheart and what his experiences will be like here. Although he
    > is white, I am not. I was wondering what your experiences have been in regards to
    > you, your fiancé(e)/spouse, and your relationships with your family, friends, and
    > strangers.

That depends quite a bit on where "here" is, and also on the attitudes of your
friends, families, and strangers. Has your family said anything? FWIW, there
prejudice against immigrants no matter what their skin color.

M

Sweetstx

Maybe I should clarify a little.....

My family is very happy for us & accepts my fiancé without question. What matters
most to them is how he treats me & my sons. He is very kind & loving to all of us.
Any friends that have met him seemed just as open & accepting. They haven't spoken up
if they have felt any differently. And they are quite a vocal bunch. For what its
worth, I live in a small Texas city (100k+).

I'm not really looking for advice, but others' experiences, what attitudes we might
encounter (especially from strangers) etc. I think that this is just a much a part of
the experience that we can prepare in advance for, just like completing the forms and
going to the interviews.

"SweetsTx" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > Group,
    >
    > I worry about my sweetheart and what his experiences will be like here. Although he
    > is white, I am not. I was wondering what your experiences
have
    > been in regards to you, your fiancé(e)/spouse, and your relationships with your
    > family, friends, and strangers.
    >
    > Other than ntepy who mentioned that her accent caused her grief because people
    > treated her differently, I haven't seen much on the subject. Although some may
    > view it as off-topic, I think it is very relevant to marrying a US citizen and
    > living in the US.
    >
    > Thanks for your responses, Priscilla

Sweetstx

I agree, but not everyone else likes the different giftwraps.

"Spam is only good out of the can and then yuk" <@.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > I believe that blood is red the whole world over.
    >
    > Skin colour is "God's giftwrap" which covers the presents what all people might
    > have inside.
    >
    > Shooter
    >
    > "SweetsTx" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > Group,
    > >
    > > I worry about my sweetheart and what his experiences will be like here. Although
    > > he is white, I am not. I was wondering what your experiences
    > have
    > > been in regards to you, your fiancé(e)/spouse, and your relationships
with
    > > your family, friends, and strangers.
    > >
    > > Other than ntepy who mentioned that her accent caused her grief because people
    > > treated her differently, I haven't seen much on the subject. Although some may
    > > view it as off-topic, I think it is very relevant to marrying a US citizen and
    > > living in the US.
    > >
    > > Thanks for your responses, Priscilla
    >

Rob

Possibly not a relevant reply but...

I first visited the US 20 years ago - from Australia. At the time my accent (I speak
English of course <s>) threw Americans - they either couldn't understand what I was
saying or they thought I was from Britain. Funniest response I ever got was from a
very nice lady at a deli counter in Santa Rosa California. She asked where I was from
and I said Australia. She replied that I spoke good English. It took a moment to
realise she thought I'd said Austria...

Second visit was 16 years ago. I was in Post Falls Idaho... I went to the supermarket
and couldn't find something. I don't remember what the something was. So I asked a
young girl in supermarket uniform. I could understand what she said perfectly well
but she couldn't understand my accent. I had to resort to sign language. (American TV
has it's advantages
<s>)

Third and fourth visits I was asked where I was from - but it was natural curiousity
- in the same way that I would listen carefully to an accent and try to place it in
Canada or the USA.. and then ask the question to gauge my accuracy...

Fifth visit - December 2001 - I wasn't asked once where I was from. Of course my
fiance Suzy wanted to show off so she told the lady at Disneyland that I was an
Australian <s>

I found the major stumbling blocks are language usages. In Australia it's common to
ask for a 'white' coffee - meaning coffee with milk. I've learned to ask for coffee
with cream. In Australia we have biscuits - which are cookies in the US. Biscuits in
the US are what we would call scones. What's in a name?

I haven't ignored the fact that you said you're not white. I'm just not going to get
into that short sighted argument. As 'shooter' said in another reply - blood is the
same coloUr the world over - and skin coloUr is gods gift wrapping around the jewel
of every unique gift to the world.

Rob ))

"SweetsTx" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
    > Group,
    >
    > I worry about my sweetheart and what his experiences will be like here. Although he
    > is white, I am not. I was wondering what your experiences
have
    > been in regards to you, your fiancé(e)/spouse, and your relationships with your
    > family, friends, and strangers.
    >
    > Other than ntepy who mentioned that her accent caused her grief because people
    > treated her differently, I haven't seen much on the subject. Although some may
    > view it as off-topic, I think it is very relevant to marrying a US citizen and
    > living in the US.
    >
    > Thanks for your responses, Priscilla

Me

Just to give you a little information about myself. I am from Vancouver Canada
(caucasian) and my husband is from Virginia (african american). My husband is in the
US Marines and is currently stationed in Georgia (15 min from downtown Atlanta). I
went there to stay with him for 6 months(we ended up marrying). When I got there it
was a MAJOR Culture and Environmental change. Or should I say SHOCK! Not only did I
have to deal with the changes that we all go through when in another country but I
also had to deal with the racism part of it. At first it was very hard, people would
stare, make comments, ect but after a while you just learn to deal with it. It has
never gotten to the point where I felt like we were in danger it is more just a
feeling of not being accepted. You go into the african american society and its, "Why
are you with that white girl?" you go into the Caucasian society and its, "Why are
you with that Black guy?" So it's just finding a happy medium thats hard. Everywhere
we go people stare, it's just expected. You can drive yourself nuts thinking of all
the reasons why they do the things they do but it is not worth the time nor the
energy. If you are comfortable with yourselves and you love the person your with it
doesn't matter what others think. All that is important is the two of you and your
happiness. I was brought up that we are all equal no matter what color we are or what
difference we have. My family loves him to pieces and his family loves me to pieces.
But racism is an issue and the better prepared you are to deal with it the easier it
will be. NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO JUDGE ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES... These are just my
personal experiences and opinions and will not necessarily be the same for the next
person. I hope that I have been a little bit of help to you. Email me directly if you
would like to chat a bit more. Me

Rita

[email protected] (Me) wrote in message
news:<[email protected] m>...
    > Just to give you a little information about myself. I am from Vancouver Canada
    > (caucasian) and my husband is from Virginia (african american).

The devil is making me write this.

Why do you call yourself a caucasian and your husband an African American.

Do you not have a heritage lineage as well? And your husband was not born in African
and chances are high that his parents or grandparents weren't either. If you want to
talk about prejudice, perhaps you should reword your introduction of yourselves. You
are caucasian and he is black. Or you are a Canadian and he is an American.

Rita

Alvena Ferreira

Rita wrote:
    > Why do you call yourself a caucasian and your husband an African American. Do you
    > not have a heritage lineage as well? And your husband was not born in African and
    > chances are high that his parents or grandparents weren't either. If you want to
    > talk about prejudice, perhaps you should reword your introduction of yourselves.
    > You are caucasian and he is black. Or you are a Canadian and he is an American.
    >
Rete, I am informed that those who were formerly called blacks want to be called
african americans these days. I even am supposed to list the race in that manner in
my legal reports for my company. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, from
a personal standpoint. Negro, black, african american, a person of color. It all adds
up the same to
me. It does allow those of mixed lineage, of which there are many, to claim the race
without having skin color that matches the name precisely. I personally think
that she was simply using the politically correct terminology for this day and
time. It can be hard to keep up with what is trendy for the day, from where I sit
anyway. And certainly, no offense intended.

To the original poster: knowing that her husband is in the army, I would add that she
has better chance for acceptance in the military than in civilian life, to my
observation. We have several mixed-race marriages at Fort Campbell KY, and everyone
seems to take it in complete stride with few problems. There are some really swell
people there. Lots of them fighting for our freedom, too.

But race is only an issue when **people** make it an issue, and I hope the original
person remembers this. If you walk through life constantly aware of your
differences, it could blind you to the things you have in common. Far better to see
the inside of the person, where true feelings lie, and where true beauty is more
likely to be found.

You did not choose white, and he did not choose black, but you can choose to have a
happy life together and set a wonderful example for those prejudiced many who see
only color and not heart. If more people could have a sense for the inner person and
not the outer, we would all be better off, in spite of what prejudices that they may
have grown up with. I guess one of the things that truly irks me is that many of the
most prejudiced are the bible-thumpers, and that is the most revolting part of it all
to me. God is love--when will people realize that?

alvena

Rete

I know the politically correct way to address black Americans. It does not make sense to me as the black race does not come solely from African nations but from Australia, South America, etc. I suppose I find it strange to dilute one's nationality by tacking on another nation's name to your description if you are not a citizen of that country. I am not a German American nor am I a Polish American but an American. Of course I take pride in my ancestary but I don't perface myself by adding on the nationality of my ancestors to my description of myself.

Please note that my posts did not and does not address interracial relationships. Just expressing an observation of how people choose to identify themselves when talking about race.

Rita

Me

[email protected] (Rita) wrote in message
news:<[email protected]. com>...
    > [email protected] (Me) wrote in message
    > news:<[email protected] m>...
    > > Just to give you a little information about myself. I am from Vancouver Canada
    > > (caucasian) and my husband is from Virginia (african american).
    >
The devil is making me write this.

You sound like the DEVIL!

Why do you call yourself a caucasian and your husband an African American.

This question refered to interracial marriage experiences. I am Caucasian (my
heritage is irrelevant to this question)and my husband is African American.

Do you not have a heritage lineage as well? As a matter of fact I do, but chose not
to include it.

And your husband was not born in African

You have no knowledge of where my husband was born therefor you can not make
this comment.

and chances are high that his parents or grandparents weren't either.

Here again this is information that you do not know and therefor you can not say this
comment either.

If you want to talk about prejudice, perhaps you should reword your introduction of
yourselves.

I do not need to reword my introduction, perhaps you should ignore my post or write
an experience you have had which is what the original poster was looking for.

You are caucasian and he is black. That is correct I am Caucasian and my husbands
skin color is black! but he is African American...

Or you are a Canadian and he is an American. This is true also, but is not what the
post was about...

ME

Malluprince

I'm sorry but i have to respond to this....

just because you don't preface yourself, doesn't mean that Afican Americans shouldnt
be allowed to. I think that that term better describes them and I have numerous
frinds that would agree. Its is a better description as their ancestry is from Africa
(no, NOT South America). Colour doesnt identify race. So when you say "black race"
that is not correct because black refers to skin colour, NOT race and is not a
necessity for race.

You are however correct in that everyone should call themselves and AMERICAN,
regardless of ancestry.

Sorry for getting off topic....

prince

Rete

Excuse me. I posted something that has always been a curiousity to me and at times a sore point (the preface nationality attached to the American description).

There was nothing bias, racial or prejudical about my post. Why did you get so upset over an innocent observation and comment. It may not directly answer your question but it certainly showed that your skin is not quite as thick as it better be when living in some parts of the country.

BTW when I was growing up Afro-Americans were called Negro when referring to race and then it changed to Blacks and now it is African-Americans. And Orientals were desginated as Yellow and Hispanics were Spanish.

As to your question of acceptance of racial marriages, I've seen that is it more and more common in my area of the US. How these couples fare in their day to day living I can't say. My White Canadian husband's first wife was a pure breed Native American and his children were called half-breeds by both NA's and Canadians. His sister also married a Native American and her daughter is married to an African-American. I've never met them and we have never discussed what prejudices she has encountered in Florida.