eighthoursbehind

I thought that this might be appreciated here more than on my mostly american viewed facebook page!

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Flamboyant Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There has not been a situation in Australias' history that has warranted the use of the final escalation level.

SanDiegogirl

Excellent ...... very funny (and so true in a number of cases)

Derrygal

Loved it!!!

Mummy in the foothills

I'm pinching this. My FB friends are mostly UK family

Michael

Even as an American, I find it fascinating and factually very accurate but I don't get the humor (spelt American style).

md95065

Well, being an American, you wouldn't really be expected to get the humo(u)r would you?

Michael

Yah, I just don't get that subtle British humo(u)r.

frrussre

"The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy."

My Fav.

Reg. Frank

Egg and Cress

So flagrantly true - but funny too! Thanks for that one.

hopeful_Mark

There is a French world war 2 rifle on eBay listing says never fired dropped once, also a French tank 1 forward gear 15 reverse.

frrussre

They are also selling worlds smallest book "Italian book of war hero's"

Reg. Frank

Wifey

Get it, love it... but heck, I read Mil Millington. And if my spouse didn't buy me the one book that I wanted for my birthday, he'll be back to appreciate that humour.

daisydaisy

excellent !