Desperate Brit

I hope I'm posting this in the right place.....I'm British with an American boyfriend and just cannot seem to see the light as to how it will work to ever be together.

We met just less than to years ago when I was on holiday in the US but didn't see each other again for a variety of reasons but kept in touch via Skype etc. He visited the Uk in December for 2 weeks and I have just returned from 2 weeks visiting him. Aside from jumping straight into marriage, there doesn't seem to be any option than continuing to have short holidays with each other which isn't ideal, or for him to visit the UK but not be able to work. I don't understand why there isn't a procedure where you can get some kind of relationship visa in order to try out your relationship in the 'real world', where you can both work and try to put down a foundation together. I read about the non-marriage visa but that requires 2 years of living together and unless we move together to another country to try to achieve that, it doesn't seem possible to be able to accrue the time otherwise. Does anyone have any tips? Is it as bleak and hopeless as it ll seems because I just do not know what to do and at times it unfortunately seems like it would be less painful for both of us to walk away to try to find partners in our own countries but our feelings are too strong for that.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

ketsuban

I've been in a trans-Atlantic relationship for 8 years now. All I can say is if you really love the person, you'll go through the suffering to reach the other side (i.e. marriage)

Otherwise your only options would be a work visa which as far as I am aware, would prove more difficult to obtain than a fiancé or immediate relative visa. Either that or a student visa, seasonal visa etc...

Noorah101

Which visa are you referring to above? This doesn't sound like anything I've heard of before. There's no visa which requires you to live together somewhere for 2 years first. Are you perhaps thinking of the K-1 fiance visa, which requires you to have met in person at least once within the past 2 years? You'd qualify for that one...but you have to be ready to marry within 90 days of your entry to the USA.

You aren't the only one to be looking for a way to try the relationship in the real world before marriage, so just know you're not alone. Unfortunately, there's no visa for that specific purpose, but of course there are other visas either you or he could get, which would allow you to spend time in the same country. Student, work, or investment.

Check out this article and then come back if you fit one of the categories: http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Pulaski's_Ways:_How_to_Live_and_Work_in_the_USA

Without knowing if you qualify for any other type of visa, it's hard to say how bleak and hopeless it is. You might just have to continue visiting each other until you both feel ready for marriage.

I only spent a total of about 5 weeks in real life with my now husband, during a 3-year period. Three trips to see him in Turkey...spent a few days together the first time, 3 weeks the second time, and 2 weeks on the trip there for his K-1 visa interview. He's been in the USA for 9 years now, we're still married, and very happy. So the long-distance thing DOES work out sometimes.

Rene

Desperate Brit

It's an option I'd read about applying for in the uk as the non-married spouse of a uk citizen. We would be looking to live together in the uk first so perhaps I'm posting in the wrong forum?

Noorah101

Oh, I see. Yes, this forum is only for those wanting to move to the USA.

For the other way around, go to www.uk-yankee.com.

Rene

kimilseung

No help, just to let you know you are not the first to walk this road. I met my American missus travelling, and it was on, off, on for a decade or so, before I went the K-1 option.

Pulaski

+1 ..... It was about the same for Mrs P and me - just about 6 weeks actually together, over an 18 month period, plus enough e-mail (mostly early in our relationship) to write a large book, and countless hours on the phone. Unfortunately this was all happening before Skype.

It all worked out for us in the end - we met almost 15 years ago, but you have to make every minute together count, and take advantage of Skype and cheap pre-paid calling plans to stay connected. For us, it was a plus, and we learned more about each other in the first 6-12 months than we likely would have in several years of "normal" dating.

jeffreyhy

Regards, JEff

civilservant

3 years for me, we've been married 18 months and will finally be together in october.

I agree with the above.