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Is it normal...
to feel nervous, worried and downright scared as hell about moving! 31 days to go and the thought of leaving my wonderful friends and being lonely is freaking me out!
The way some people are talking to me it's like they don't think they will ever see me again - not helping people!!! Last minute nerves I guess....hmmm now I didn't plan for this!! Note to self - must remember to breathe How did you cope with your last few weeks...??? |
Re: Is it normal...
We leave in 40 days and I feel exactly the same.
My current family and friends are more concerned with what they can have from my house for free rather than spend time with me! I too feel apprehensive about being lonely, especially as I will be on the dreaded H4 visa. Hubby will be at work, DS will be at a school (once we find one!) and me.....? I am currently sorting through books to sell, store or take and it's making me realise the enormity of the move. :-( Sam X |
Re: Is it normal...
Yes.
Although I'm not sure I had time to be nervous - I only had about 2 weeks notice of my original posting overseas, and that time was too busy to think about whether I was doing the right thing. Plus I was only supposed to be out of the UK for about a year....that was 1995 and I'm still away! Wonder who's feeding the cat.....;-) Have you ever been skydiving? Bungee jumping? Or do you ski? Remember that feeling in the seconds before you launch out of the plane/off the bridge/off the top of that double black diamond? Bit scared, butterflies etc? Then once you're freefalling or bashing through the powder that feeling goes and you start having fun? Think of it like that! You're just about to launch and once you're actually past the point of no return (ie on the plane on the way here) your focus will change from hassle of leaving to excitement of arriving. All you can do is make sure you are organized, you've got everything checked off on your list, and you get to see everyone you need to before you leave. And when you see them, make sure they know you're a bit apprehensive about it (after all, its fairly reasonable to be nervous about any big change), but that you're going to keep in touch, and you're only going to be a 6/8/10 hour flight away which means a) you can get back if you want to and b) they can come stay! Its not like the old days when people got on a sailing ship and didn't even know if they'd make it to the other end, let alone be able to get back again! I used to have a friend who kept a totally seperate bank account with a couple of thousand dollars in it that she never touched. That was her "escape money" , and would only be used for flights home. She was never going to back herself into the corner of not being able to afford to get out if she really wanted to. She reckoned it helped on bad homesick days to be able to dig out the bank statement for that account, look at it and know she could go if she really wanted to. |
Re: Is it normal...
I personally just take it in my stride but the again I have been traveling since I was 18yrs old and now 46yrs old....I do get a bit twitchy the night before either coming or going to the UK, when I am leaving the US I am bad tempered and sad because I don't want to go but when I am leaving the UK to return here, I get very anxious the night before leaving mum behind I always have this fear if it will be the last time that I see her :wub:
Just remember you are only a flight away you are not going to Mars, plus you have the phone, internet and Skype......once you get going it will all be such a whirl wind and exciting you will be fine, and don't forget you can always come home ;) |
Re: Is it normal...
Ditto what Poppy Girl said about only being a flight away...I kept saying that to myself and it kept me sane. :fingerscrossed:
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9179810)
to feel nervous, worried and downright scared as hell about moving! 31 days to go and the thought of leaving my wonderful friends and being lonely is freaking me out!
The way some people are talking to me it's like they don't think they will ever see me again - not helping people!!! Last minute nerves I guess....hmmm now I didn't plan for this!! Note to self - must remember to breathe How did you cope with your last few weeks...??? I just got drunk a lot :rofl: |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by samjwood
(Post 9180290)
We leave in 40 days and I feel exactly the same.
My current family and friends are more concerned with what they can have from my house for free rather than spend time with me! I too feel apprehensive about being lonely, especially as I will be on the dreaded H4 visa. Hubby will be at work, DS will be at a school (once we find one!) and me.....? I am currently sorting through books to sell, store or take and it's making me realise the enormity of the move. :-( Sam X In our day, we didn't have any of this. So buck-up and stop bleating. Pull yourself together, man. |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9179810)
How did you cope with your last few weeks...???
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Re: Is it normal...
It is our first anniversary of moving today, been here a year and it's all still very clear in my head, the emotions of leaving. As much as I was upset at leaving and nervous about the whole move and that the kids would be allright, I have surprised myself!! The worst part for me was saying goodbye to my mum and dad, and the guilt for taking their grandchildren across the Atlantic, but you know, in reality, it's been fine. I have had few bouts of homesickness, talk to my mum and dad all the time on Skype, they can see the kids, how well they're doing etc and I am so glad we made the move.
People can sometimes make you feel guilty, I sometimes feel its a wee bit of jealousy that they haven't taken the plunge so to speak - I may be wrong on that one. I'm on an H4 and yes, it's hard when you're on your own all day, but I find plenty to keep me busy, have made myself go out their and meet new people. We've just bought a new pup so he will take up most of my time over the next few months, the ironing will just need to pile up :D. Enjoy the whole moving experience, look forward to your new life and the different things you will experience here and don't look back. You are only a flight away, and if you don't settle in the first couple of years, there's no shame in going back, you have to grab it with both hands and make the most of it, some people never get the opportunity. GOOD LUCK WITH THE MOVE AND ENJOY IT!!!:thumbsup: |
Re: Is it normal...
Thank you all SO very much for taking the time to post back - I really appreciate it. I feel so glad and thankful to have found people who understand and have been through this - I will certainly take all of your advice onboard - and keep calm and carry on.
:thumbsup: |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Octang Frye
(Post 9180467)
You have it made these days, with the internets, Skype etc.
In our day, we didn't have any of this. So buck-up and stop bleating. Pull yourself together, man. I'm going to "man up" and keep calm and carry on - after all I'm British and we don't crumble! Stiff Upper lip is what's needed what ho! |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Octang Frye
(Post 9180472)
Are you dying?
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Re: Is it normal...
That's the spirit!
Of course it's natural to worry if you're doing the right thing, but you are. A lot of people would give their right arm to be in your position. Enjoy yourselves! The Road Not Taken Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Octang Frye
(Post 9180899)
That's the spirit!
Of course it's natural to worry if you're doing the right thing, but you are. A lot of people would give their right arm to be in your position. Enjoy yourselves! The Road Not Taken Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by samjwood
(Post 9180290)
We leave in 40 days and I feel exactly the same.
My current family and friends are more concerned with what they can have from my house for free rather than spend time with me! I too feel apprehensive about being lonely, especially as I will be on the dreaded H4 visa. Hubby will be at work, DS will be at a school (once we find one!) and me.....? I am currently sorting through books to sell, store or take and it's making me realise the enormity of the move. :-( Sam X |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Brat1
(Post 9180607)
It is our first anniversary of moving today, been here a year and it's all still very clear in my head, the emotions of leaving. As much as I was upset at leaving and nervous about the whole move and that the kids would be allright, I have surprised myself!! The worst part for me was saying goodbye to my mum and dad, and the guilt for taking their grandchildren across the Atlantic, but you know, in reality, it's been fine. I have had few bouts of homesickness, talk to my mum and dad all the time on Skype, they can see the kids, how well they're doing etc and I am so glad we made the move.
People can sometimes make you feel guilty, I sometimes feel its a wee bit of jealousy that they haven't taken the plunge so to speak - I may be wrong on that one. I'm on an H4 and yes, it's hard when you're on your own all day, but I find plenty to keep me busy, have made myself go out their and meet new people. We've just bought a new pup so he will take up most of my time over the next few months, the ironing will just need to pile up :D. Enjoy the whole moving experience, look forward to your new life and the different things you will experience here and don't look back. You are only a flight away, and if you don't settle in the first couple of years, there's no shame in going back, you have to grab it with both hands and make the most of it, some people never get the opportunity. GOOD LUCK WITH THE MOVE AND ENJOY IT!!!:thumbsup: |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad
(Post 9180303)
Yes.
Although I'm not sure I had time to be nervous - I only had about 2 weeks notice of my original posting overseas, and that time was too busy to think about whether I was doing the right thing. Plus I was only supposed to be out of the UK for about a year....that was 1995 and I'm still away! Wonder who's feeding the cat.....;-) Have you ever been skydiving? Bungee jumping? Or do you ski? Remember that feeling in the seconds before you launch out of the plane/off the bridge/off the top of that double black diamond? Bit scared, butterflies etc? Then once you're freefalling or bashing through the powder that feeling goes and you start having fun? Think of it like that! You're just about to launch and once you're actually past the point of no return (ie on the plane on the way here) your focus will change from hassle of leaving to excitement of arriving. All you can do is make sure you are organized, you've got everything checked off on your list, and you get to see everyone you need to before you leave. And when you see them, make sure they know you're a bit apprehensive about it (after all, its fairly reasonable to be nervous about any big change), but that you're going to keep in touch, and you're only going to be a 6/8/10 hour flight away which means a) you can get back if you want to and b) they can come stay! Its not like the old days when people got on a sailing ship and didn't even know if they'd make it to the other end, let alone be able to get back again! I used to have a friend who kept a totally seperate bank account with a couple of thousand dollars in it that she never touched. That was her "escape money" , and would only be used for flights home. She was never going to back herself into the corner of not being able to afford to get out if she really wanted to. She reckoned it helped on bad homesick days to be able to dig out the bank statement for that account, look at it and know she could go if she really wanted to. |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Poppy girl
(Post 9180359)
I personally just take it in my stride but the again I have been traveling since I was 18yrs old and now 46yrs old....I do get a bit twitchy the night before either coming or going to the UK, when I am leaving the US I am bad tempered and sad because I don't want to go but when I am leaving the UK to return here, I get very anxious the night before leaving mum behind I always have this fear if it will be the last time that I see her :wub:
Just remember you are only a flight away you are not going to Mars, plus you have the phone, internet and Skype......once you get going it will all be such a whirl wind and exciting you will be fine, and don't forget you can always come home ;) |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by lisa67
(Post 9180369)
Ditto what Poppy Girl said about only being a flight away...I kept saying that to myself and it kept me sane. :fingerscrossed:
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by SultanOfSwing
(Post 9180374)
It's perfectly normal. I started feeling really guilty about leaving everyone behind in the weeks leading up to my leaving.
I just got drunk a lot :rofl: |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9181205)
thanks for your positive vibes Brat :thumbup:
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9181211)
LOVING the sky diving analogy!!! Im going to remember this once im on that plane :thumbup:
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Yorkieabroad
(Post 9181240)
Dont do it! - you're gonna get in all sorts of trouble if you try to open the door on a jumbo at 35000 feet!
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Brat1
(Post 9181227)
You're welcome, honestly, last minute jitters is normal, just take it as it comes and look forward, not back. You have a great opportunity in front of you and if you need some advice on being "home alone" you can PM me :thumbsup:
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Re: Is it normal...
I found it helped never to look completely at the move. Not all at once. Oh, today I am just giving my most unwearable shoes to charity. Tomorrow I'm staying up til midnight calling apartment owners in Los Angeles. This weekend I might, for the hell of it, pack ten 30kg boxes of cherished possessions and give them to a man with a lorry.
But: on September xth I'm moving 6000 miles to an entirely new city, with my husband, two cats and an awful lot of luggage? ERROR MESSAGE: does not compute. Systems overload. Update gin-and-tonic immediately. (Of course, with this strategy, there's always the risk you'll get here and wake up the next morning thinking 'California? We live in California now? Well, I didn't see that coming'.) Good luck with your relocation! :) |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by MoshiMoshi
(Post 9181406)
I found it helped never to look completely at the move. Not all at once. Oh, today I am just giving my most unwearable shoes to charity. Tomorrow I'm staying up til midnight calling apartment owners in Los Angeles. This weekend I might, for the hell of it, pack ten 30kg boxes of cherished possessions and give them to a man with a lorry.
But: on September xth I'm moving 6000 miles to an entirely new city, with my husband, two cats and an awful lot of luggage? ERROR MESSAGE: does not compute. Systems overload. Update gin-and-tonic immediately. (Of course, with this strategy, there's always the risk you'll get here and wake up the next morning thinking 'California? We live in California now? Well, I didn't see that coming'.) Good luck with your relocation! :) so small bite sized pieces will win the day... |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9181409)
I like the strategy - so on March 17th Im going to wake up and wonder how I got to CA.... part of me might just feel - "Oh im on a another holiday in CA"....when does it feel that you actually LIVE there!!! (guess when you are still there 3 years later maybe lol)?
so small bite sized pieces will win the day... The offer is there to PM me if you need a chat and please, don't panic, and enjoy what's ahead of you, I'm sure it will be fine :thumbsup: |
Re: Is it normal...
Where in CA are you moving too you don't have to be exact but what city!!
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Poppy girl
(Post 9181627)
Where in CA are you moving too you don't have to be exact but what city!!
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Brat1
(Post 9181495)
You're looking too far ahead, because we are all different and I don't know when it actually feels that you "live" there, I've never analysed it like that, but certainly, after only 1 year, I feel settled. Will we stay here forever - who knows. Will I ever call this home if we stay - who knows. Will I ever regret the journey I've taken - NEVER. I agree with the post above, one bit at a time and deal with each different thing as a single entity. I think, or hope, you find it easier and more enjoyable than you think you will. Is it hard to say goodbye to people - YES!! Do they come and visit - YES!! With every negative, there's always a positive, believe me, the last year we've had our ups and downs but I don't regret a single minute.
The offer is there to PM me if you need a chat and please, don't panic, and enjoy what's ahead of you, I'm sure it will be fine :thumbsup: |
Re: Is it normal...
Hi
I am also moving to CA, SF Bay Area, in about 6 weeks time :) I have been living in Madrid for the past year and went through the nerves and so on just moving here. I have kinda got used to being away from England now, although I have felt a bit isolated in Madrid due to language and cultural differences. My friends keep joking that I am moving further and further away :) Im looking forward to going to CA and my kids are excited. |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by mollykins74
(Post 9183104)
Hi
I am also moving to CA, SF Bay Area, in about 6 weeks time :) I have been living in Madrid for the past year and went through the nerves and so on just moving here. I have kinda got used to being away from England now, although I have felt a bit isolated in Madrid due to language and cultural differences. My friends keep joking that I am moving further and further away :) Im looking forward to going to CA and my kids are excited. |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9179810)
to feel nervous, worried and downright scared as hell about moving! 31 days to go and the thought of leaving my wonderful friends and being lonely is freaking me out!
The way some people are talking to me it's like they don't think they will ever see me again - not helping people!!! Last minute nerves I guess....hmmm now I didn't plan for this!! Note to self - must remember to breathe How did you cope with your last few weeks...??? The UK will always be there ! Whenever I wonder if I made the right decision, I imagine how I would have felt if I hadn't taken the leap, then I feel better .:) You are doing the right thing, enjoy the trip everything will fall into place. |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9181957)
hi Eureka
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by coastieexpat
(Post 9183774)
You are moving to one of the nicest parts of CA. :)
The UK will always be there ! Whenever I wonder if I made the right decision, I imagine how I would have felt if I hadn't taken the leap, then I feel better .:) You are doing the right thing, enjoy the trip everything will fall into place. America here I come ------and breath...:eek: |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Poppy girl
(Post 9183855)
WOW!! Thats way up in woop woop lol :eek:
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Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by CAdreaming
(Post 9183997)
thank you!! I must say you have hit the nail on the head. I met my fiance online and we had our first meeting half way or so between us in New York...that was very brave for l'l old me who doesnt even go to the cinema by myself yet here I was jetting off from London to NY to meet a man I had never met before!!! Blimey!!! I just knew that if I didn't/t take that leap of faith then I would always regret it.
America here I come ------and breath...:eek: |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by mollykins74
(Post 9183104)
Hi
I am also moving to CA, SF Bay Area, in about 6 weeks time :) I have been living in Madrid for the past year and went through the nerves and so on just moving here. I have kinda got used to being away from England now, although I have felt a bit isolated in Madrid due to language and cultural differences. My friends keep joking that I am moving further and further away :) I'm British, but moved here directly from (two years in) Germany. I didn't speak German very well and never felt fully integrated there -- yes, I suspect these two factors are related -- so it was a giddy feeling to get here and be able to explain myself... At least, to some extent. You end up with a rather convoluted self-introduction -- people ask you about life in England, and you either have to go off on an autobiographical tangent about how you actually moved here from blah blah blah, or just make some sweeping generalizations about the UK and hope it doesn't come out that you haven't lived there since 2008. Although I'm sure it hasn't change too much since then. Also, every now then I find myself converting from dollars to Euros to pounds in order to get something's 'real value'... a deeply pointless exercise. Good luck with your move, too :) |
Re: Is it normal...
Originally Posted by Chugabug
(Post 9186506)
Same here, just a Norfolk lad who married his long-term penfriend from when he was a kid. Been here nearly 12 years now and am a citizen. You have such fun times ahead. You only live once. :thumbup:
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