ruthann1212

Hello,

My name is Ruthann and my husbands name is Sunny. I have really enjoyed this site and have got a great education here.
I was wondering if anyone knows of a recent success story where the Nigerian spouse is male? I've heard that this can be much more difficult.

Sunny has never been out of Nigeria and I flew to him in September and we were married there. I got to Abuja on Thursday night (this is the first time we actually physically met) and we were married Saturday. I left for the states the following Thursday.

I filed the I-130 on 11/6/03
NOA 11/10/03
I-129F filed 11/16/03
NOA 11/20/03

Is there any advice you can give to move things along at a quicker pace? Such as:

1) Can Sunny gather his police report, vaccine records etc. BEFORE he receives his packet?

2) What should I be gathering while I wait to here from BCIS?

Other questions:

1) Sunny applied for and was denied a visitor visa in July and they stamped his passport. Will this cause a problem? He thought maybe he should get a new passport?

2) I have sent Sunny copies of the following to take to his interview.
EVERY email we have ever sent. (Thicker than a phone book!) Our original marriage certificate, copy of my divorce decree (he has never been married) wedding pictures, flight schedule ( I didn't keep my boarding passes!) Copy of my passport all pages. My drivers license, and social security card with my new married name. Copies of cards and letters we have sent to each other via regular mail. Some emails to and from his family and I. Copies of calling cards totaling over $1000.00. Am I missing anything?
3) I can't attend his interview I used my vacation time to go in September. Would it help to send a letter explaining?

Sunny had such a negative experience when he applied for his visitor visa that he is really nervous. Any hints for him?

Thank you all so very much.
Ruthann

DaGeek

Hello Ruthann:

Congrats on your recent mariage! I recently came back with my wife from Nigeria (she came on a K3 visa). I think if you search the archives for my other posts and the posts of other folks like JeffB, cathese, Omo, etc. you'll be able to get a fair idea of how things happen in Nigeria. Admittedly, Omo is the only one of the people I have listed who brought her (then fiance) over from NIgeria on a K3 visa. So, I do not necesarily know what kinds of problems crop up when the petitioner is a female USC and the beneficiary is a NIgerian male.

Anyway, I'll try to answer some of your questions and ask a few of mine



This may or may not be the case. I think it depends on the specifics of each case. A rough rule of the thumb is that the Consular Officers (ConOffs) are apt to look on marriages between Nigerian males and USC citizens in which the female USC is much older/divorced/has kids, etc. with some suspicion because the culture of many NIgerian tribes doesn't favor these kinds of marriages. Having said all that, there are still ways to meet the burden of proving that your marriage was not entered into solely for the purpose of getting the Nigerian male to the U.S. You just have to work harder at documenting your relationship and showing that yours is a genuine marriage. The fact that the ConOffs may (sincerely) believe they are protecting you, the innocent USC female, from a potentialy fraudulent Nigerian male does not make your task any easier.


In filing your I130 and I129F, which consulate did you indicate as your preference for where the visa should be processed - Lagos or Abuja? I hear that things are better at Abuja.


You probably know that there is nothing you can do to move things along at this end. BCIS will eventually approve the petition (baring any RFE's). While you wait, start preparing documents that prove the length of your relationship, keep your phone bills, etc. Also start looking at your tax return for the past year to see if you meet the requirement to provide him an afidavit of support al by yourself or if you need a co-sponsor. Get your pay stubs, letter of employment, etc. and have them ready to send to him when it's time. Basicaly, you need to prepare documents that show
a) your relationship prior to marriage
b) your mariage
c) your ongoing relatonship since marriage

No, Sunny can not start anything like police report or medical tests until he is instructed to do so by the consulate.

While he could theoretically get a new passport, this could indeed become a problem. For instance, somewhere on the DS156 form he needs to fill out when he applies for the K3 visa, there is a question that reads like "Have you ever aplied for a U.S. visa?" or "have you ever been denied a visa to go to the U.S.?" Although he'll have a "new" passport that doesn't show the stamp he received, everybody will tell you that the last thing you want to do is lie to a U.S. ConOff or give false information in your application form. I would keep my current passport and be prepared to answer any question that comes up at the interview. It all depends on what kind of visa he applied for and the reason he gave for wanting to visit the U.S.


Some of these are good things to have for the interview. Although, I'd be careful about sending copies of social security card, drivers license and such like. Even if they are needed to prove a bona fide marriage (i.e. change of last name), it doesn't seem to me like he needs them this early in the process. Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just naturally a very cautious kind of guy

Although they didn't let me into the consulate in Lagos when I went there for my wife's interview, I can truly say that my physical presence there did a lot to ease her nervousness and help her deal with the few questions she was asked. Plus, we spent several days before the interview going through all the documents and conducting 'mock' interview sessions where I posed some typical questions for her to answer, etc. Above all, if push comes to shove, Sunny can always say "My wife is right outside as we speak . . . and she'd be glad to address any additional concerns you may have . . ."
My advice? If at all possible, go there for the interview. rom the loks of things, it'll be well into the first quarter of the new year before you and Suny make it to the interview stage. Can't you take your '04 vacation then?

Just be over-prepared and be very truthful.

I'm sure there are others who ave other words of advice for you.
Best of luck to you two.

Da Geek

ruthann1212

Hi,

Thank you for your quick response. I have been told that Sunny can only be processed through LAGOS. Abuja is not an option they don't process visas there.

You know I never thought about my age and previous marital status as an issue with the consulate. My husbands family embraced me with open arms. I am seven years older, I can tell you that Sunny didn't want his family to know this at first. It was only after they met me and I spent time with them that we told them my age. It didn't seem to matter then. Now I'm worried a little.

Sunny and I started our relationship in March. We were married 6 months later. He applied for his visitor visa in order to visit his Aunt in Atlanta, his cousin in Texas and by that time me in Indiana. He applied for his visa long before he met me.

I am now starting to look at our relationship through skeptical eyes and it doesn't look good!

I can't take my vacation again until at least August. There is no way I can attend his interview. OH boy... I'm really nervous now. I can't imagine what we would do if he was denied...

We are both having such a difficult time now with our separation and it's only been 3 months.

Oh I feel sick.

DaGeek

Oh, okay then. So, Lagos it is. Sunny can probably tell you how the experience in Lagos goes - not for the faint-hearted. But I am sure he can cope, having lived in nigeria all his life.

Do not despair, it's not automatic that your previoous marital status becomes a problem. I just want you both to start looking at things through the skeptical eyes of a ConOff and prepare accordingly. The good thing is that you have time on your side.
It's also a plus that your husband's family embraced you. Start communicating with them (letters, emails, etc.) and get them to write you back. If you have congratulatory notes from your friends in Indiana to yourself and Sunny on your marriage, keep them handy. Whenever anyone writes you and asks after your husband, etc. , keep that note. You may need all these to show the ConOff that, in the eyes of friends and relatives on both sides, your marriage is the real deal.

In a perverse kind of way, this is a good thing. It'll make you prepare massively for any and all questions that may be raised at the interview. Put yourself in the ConOff's position and think of everything they could possibly ask, then prepare just a notch above that. Also, this is probably a good time to ask Sunny details of his prior experiences at the consulate - i.e. why was he denied. You want to start preparing your response if that becomes an issue.


Oh, I see . . . Anyway, this is not necessarily a show-stopper. Just have lots of documents and be prepared to answer questions.

Sorry about that. My intention was just to give you some realistic info about getting U.S. visas in Nigeria. At least you know what you would be up against . . . . now see this as a challenge to overcome rather than something to be worried sick about. In the end, it'll all work out. Just roll up your sleeves and get to work putting all your documents together.

Folinskyinla

Hi Ruthan:

I have not done a Nigerian case in several years. But from past experience, they can be quite a ride.

They ARE doable and Lagos DOES grant visas. However, you will be in for that ride.

The visa issuing posts across the world vary in their practices based in part upon a perception of the "normal" problems they see. In the fraud arena, there is a classifcation of "Low Fraud", "Medium Fraud", "High Fraud" and "Lagos." In fact, Lagos is a "training post" for anti-fraud officers.

Don't be discouraged by this -- however, it is important that you and your beloved be EXCRUCIATINGLY HONEST and prepared. I often mention that the immigration law has a "guilty until proven innocent" element in it.

When I say to be excruciatingly honest, don't cut any corners, don't shade the truth in any fashion. If you perceive a potentional problem, grab that bull by the horns and meet it and wrestle to the ground.

It is good that you went over there and met him. Although that is a requirementof the I-129F -- do NOT minimally document that -- OVERdocument it -- that will be more the consular officer than for CIS.

Also, make sure there are NO "skeletons in the closet" -- things that neither you nor your beloved must hide anything from each other. In particular, I understand your beloved has never been married -- does he have any children though? You NEED to know this and if so, disclose it.

It will be hard, it will be long -- but will be sucessful in the end.

omo

Greetings/E'kabo to Ruthann,

I don't post as much in this forum as I use to because of my busy schedule, so I regret not seeing your post(s) earlier. First of all, I received your message and thanks. Secondly, I wish to congratulate you on your recent marriage to Sunny and I hope the immigration process for your husband will run through with minimal delay(s).

I have to give "kudos" to DaGeek, his hands-on experience and advice to you, Cathese and others are genuinely thorough and great to boot. I must submit one clarification though. My beloved and I went through the "I-129F/K-1" process back in December 2000. (At the time, the K3 visa had not yet been implemented.) Nevertheless I, like you are now, went through the emotional pain of a 10-month wait, gathering relevant documents, and seeing my then-fiancé's ordeal with the USConsul down to the end. I communicated with my significant other for 6/7 months; then I flew over for 2 weeks to meet him and his family - had a wonderful time together - then returned to the U.S. to begin the k-1 process after meeting with a lawyer for a 30-minute consultation. (For us personally and on the advice of the immigration attorney, it would not have been prudent to marry him in Nigeria, since we knew that process would take a longer.)

Anyway, DaGeek is right on the money. Keep a copy and save EVERYTHING you believe is relevant to you and Sunny's case. As was said before, it's better to be OVERPREPARED than under if you get my drift! Since it's been over 3 years since my hubby got his K1 visa, I can't remember everything I sent him, but from what I recall, I too saved anything and everything I could think of that he may have needed at the time. After waiting many agonizing months from the last time I saw him, he finally got his visa on his 2nd visit to the Embassy.

If you have anything specific to ask, just email me and I'll see if I can answer your questions.

All the best to you and Sunny!

JeffB

Hello Ruthann,

This is JeffB's wife Remi. Firstly let me congratulate you on having the guts to go to Nigeria to get married. Most of the important things you need to know about the Lagos Consulars have been answered but let me stress this word, "tell Sunny Never to contemplate getting a new passport". It's like spelling doom for yourself even before it comes and believe me it will if he gets a second passport.

Anyway at the interview the consular officers took a long time before finally calling me for interview. I had the biggest bag of evidence ever possible by any human being to carry. The Consular officer asked for pictures, I gave him an encyclopedia of pictures and detailed information of where we where, how we met, first letter, first kiss, first this, first that. Then he couldn't help saying "God who's this guy?�, referring to Jeff, I said my Fiancé, then he said, "are you sure he is not CIA or something?", I said no he is not, but he's determined. He said I've been at this embassy for 20 years and have never seen such an overwhelming amount of evidence. Hence the more evidence you can lay your hands on the better. He didn't even take the tax returns and all the stuffs from me, only the transcripts.

I must say I am one of the very few people to get visa on their first interview. Sunny will be asked for evidence and believe me one of the biggest evidence will be pictures. A lot of ladies were turned down because they said they were married yet they only had a handful of pictures (thank God I have a thing for pictures). The Consular officers know every trick under the sun and they will be watching out for Sunny, I would be if I was working there too. Firstly you are older and they know Nigeria men don't usually marry older women except for personal gain, secondly you married a few day after you first met, RED flag, big one. My friend is in the same dilemma as you are, good thing is she is the Nigerian. Nigerian guys don't just jump into marriage, they take their time and especially if he's from the eastern part of the country, those people take more time than Methuselah, so the officers will be watching. K1 visas are generally easier than K3. Myself and Jeff would have loved to get married before the interview but we knew that was much trouble than normal so we waited.

omo

Greetings Remi;

I read with keen interest your personal experience at the U.S. Consulate on V.I. and I agree that photos are very convincing evidence of a continuous/genuine relationship. It would have never ocurred to me to have photos taken until one of my Nigerian buddies absolutely positively INSISTED that we get at least a roll of pictures taken of us in various settings. (And indeed we did while at the beach, at a local park, at his family's home, at the church and other venues.) I do remember my beloved telling me at the time that the officer was impressed with all of our photographs, so I do agree they are vital.


LOL,...well I must take exception to the above since I'm a few years older than my hubby. What does he have to gain? Nothing financially, that's for sure but definitely a wife who likes to cook, visit friends and family and voice her opinion about anything and everything! LOL (This coming May 2004 will be our 3rd wedding anniversary and despite the challenges of our marriage at times, we've learned so much from each other and continually pray that our marriage last as long as our parents, if not longer.

All the best to you and JeffB.

Regards, Omo

ruthann1212

Hi Ladies,

Now I'm more than a little concerned.. It probably doesn't help that I'm white! You know, we have lots of pictures but only from the 10 days that I was there. We had only personally met 2 days before our wedding. I arrived on the 18th, meeting him for the first time, then married on the 20th and home on the 26th.

I have been going back and forth in my mind as to whether or not I should fly to Lagos for his interview. You know the money is a huge factor here. Anyway, do you think it would benefit us if the family (his) wrote notes telling their feelings about our marriage? I mean since this is more of an african issue than an american.

I'm worried now.. Sunny says not to worry, that he will be able to convince anyone of his love for me... He's a peach and sooo optimistic.. I just don't know if I'm as confident..

rubyjewel

Hi

I do not come to this site often, but I was looking for a posting from someone else and came across your thread. I am always curious to read about the experiences that are happening at the American consulate in Lagos. My husband is also Nigerian.

We will have our interview on the 18th, but through Naples, Italy, since that is where my husband now resides an where we were married. From reading all these posts and also from going through the K1 experience through Lagos, I thank God every day that we have escaped them. I just pray that our eperience is nothing like the experiences coming out of Lagos.

Just to relax your thoughts, I am also white. I was told that some officers will hold this against us. But, if I were you, I would just put it out of my mind. Who cares what color we are, as long as we married for the right reason and have the confidence to prove it to them.

If they want to throw up the red tape, they will, but don't let it stop you, just do what you have to do.

As far as going to Nigeria for the interview, I would really think about it. From what I have read, it looks as though you are still waiting for approval, so you have time to plan. If it is going to put you in financial constraints, then by all means, don't do it. From reading the other post, I was surprised to hear that the US spouse was not allowed inside. About two years ago when I had applied for a K1 visa, I was told that I could attend the interview. I guess things have changed. You can provide moral support and be there in case they would like to speak with you. If they started harrassing your husband, there would be nothing better than to have him say you are right outside, you can ask her yourself.

If I were you, I would just try and relax. It is not going to do you or your husband any good to get worked up now. Just relax, and get your things together. I am sure that everything will turn out fine. There are many horror stories, but there are also many success stories. Please do not let anyone discourage you or scare you. Just take it easy and go on as best you can with your marriage.

There is nothing out of the ordinary that you posted, that you need to be worried about.

Good luck. I will keep checking back to see your progress.

Rubyjewel

ruthann1212

Wow! Thank you so much for that encouraging note. I wish you all the best in Italy. I would love to be going through this ANYWHERE but Lagos! Oh well , what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Best wishes on your interview. I'll be waiting and watching for your story.
Blessings,
Ruthann

omo

Wow Rubyjewel,

L-O-N-G time, no "see" online. I've always thought about you and your husband (since the "Marriage Visa Pages" messageboard) and I pray that this time everything works out for the two of you, so all the best to you.

Regards, Omo

Agsoba83

Well, my wife also got her fiance visa on the first try. You are
right, you need as much evidence as possible to satisfy the consular
officers in Nigeria. Actually, my wife had an easier time getting her
visa than my daugther did getting her us passport from the nigeria
embassy. I have to fax them as many documents as possible.

But, my situation is now is that when she come over in Jan, we got
married and she had to leave for nigeria before we could get advance
parole, so now i'm filling a k3 for her. I hope it wont be to
difficult for her to get the k3 visa and i hope they wont frown on
getting married her in the US. Also, since i only did a registry
wedding, just her and my daughter, no pictures, will this be
problematic, even with a marriage certificate from the US

Does anyone know what i should expect from the embassy this time with
a k3, the most difficult aspect of the k1 for her was getting into the
embassy.

any ideas, comments will be appriciated.

thank

akima


omo <member8903@british_expats.com> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > Originally posted by JeffB
    > > Hello Ruthann,
    > >
    > > This is
    > JeffB's wife Remi.
    > >
    > > I must say I am one of the very few people to
    > get visa on their first interview. Sunny will be asked for evidence and
    > believe me one of the biggest evidence will be pictures. A lot of ladies
    > were turned down because they said they were married yet they only had a
    > handful of pictures (thank God I have a thing for pictures). The
    > Consular officers know every trick under the sun and they will be
    > watching out for Sunny..
    >
    > Greetings Remi;
    >
    > I read with keen
    > interest your personal experience at the U.S. Consulate on V.I. and I
    > agree that photos are very convincing evidence of a continuous/genuine
    > relationship. It would have never ocurred to me to have photos taken
    > until one of my Nigerian buddies absolutely positively INSISTED that we
    > get at least a roll of pictures taken of us in various settings. (And
    > indeed we did while at the beach, at a local park, at his family's home,
    > at the church and other venues.) I do remember my beloved telling me at
    > the time that the officer was impressed with all of our photographs, so
    > I do agree they are vital.
    >
    >
    > Originally posted by JeffB
    > >
    >
    > > Firstly you are older and they know Nigeria men don't usually marry
    > older women except for personal gain, ... Nigerian guys don't just jump
    > into marriage, they take their time and especially if he's from the
    > eastern part of the country...
    >
    > LOL,...well I must take
    > exception to the above since I'm a few years older than my hubby. What
    > does he have to gain? Nothing financially, that's for sure but
    > definitely a wife who likes to cook, visit friends and family and voice
    > her opinion about anything and everything! LOL (This coming May 2004
    > will be our 3rd wedding anniversary and despite the challenges of our
    > marriage at times, we've learned so much from each other and continually
    > pray that our marriage last as long as our parents, if not longer.
    >
    > All
    > the best to you and JeffB.
    >
    > Regards, Omo