mumtwo2

ok ill try and keep this short i met my boyfriend online 10 months ago he is a usc and im a ukc i was still with my ex at the time we fell in love i have visited him twice each time staying for 2 weeks and have only fallen in love with him more. he did try to visit me first but got detand we still dont know why! he has a good job and has shown he can support me we have also spoken to a lawyer who will help us with the k1. here comes the problems we have the money for the k1 but i have to get a 90 day notice for my ex coz i have 2 kids with him but he has no parental rights over my oldest coz he never married me and the year she was born. my family is also not happy about me moving over there they are not thinking about the fact my kids will be better off over there and have a better life all they are thinking about is they dont want to have to fly so far to see them. ok so here are the questions

i have visited him twice but not yet taken my kids my mum says that is abandonment is it? and will that make things hard for me trying to get my son there?

i have debts my ex left me with and now on benefits and my boyfriend trying to pay out to get things sort for us all coming there im slow at paying them off will that affect my k1? even if i keep my bank account here and keep paying them off?

can my kids come with me on the k1 when i go to marry him and stay in the country with me?


will i be able to visit him when the k1 is going though?


i know alot of question but i want to make sure we do it right so there is no way for it to take to long or not go though

thanks to anyone that can help

ian-mstm

Are you divorced? Do you have a final decree in your hands? If not, nothing is going to happen!


Not sure about the oldest, but you will need his written permission to remove the younger child from UK jurisdiction.


They might have a better life... they might not. It certainly sounds as is *you* will have a better life in the US... but that doesn't always translate to your progeny.


I guess that would depend on the age of the children. Regardless, this is something you should ask a UK attorney.


Perhaps... hard to say. If you are charged with abandonment, the UK courts will likely not allow the children to leave the UK. So... where would that leave you?


No. The US is not interested in *your* financial situation.


The children will get K-2 visas when you get a K-1 visa. Yes, they can travel with you and live with you in the US. As I said though, your ex will need to give his written permission to take the younger child out of UK jurisdiction.


Yes - but be sure to bring evidence of *strong* ties to the UK. Here's a thought though... won't your mom consider this another episode of abandonment?


Even if your USC boyfriend files the I-129F petition on Monday, it'll be about 6 - 8 months before you and the kids get a visa in your passport.

Ian

Noorah101

What does your lawyer say about all these issues?

As Ian said, you have to be divorced first, and have the final divorce decree in hand before you can go down the K-1 path. I don't know why you taking a vacation without your kids would be seen as abandoning them...I assume you had someone taking care of them while you were gone? Yes, you will probably need your ex's permission for the kid(s) to leave the UK permanently. Your financial issues in the UK won't be a concern.

Rene

clarissageo

Like others have said, I cant see how taking a holiday without the children is abandonment - unless you are leaving them to fend for themselves at a young age, or leaving them with someone who is not fit to look after them.

As far as taking the children out goes, if your ex does not have parental responsibility, then you are fine. If he does, then you better brace yourself for a good battle if he is against the move - have a look at this thread to see what you may or may not be up against http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=537388

mumtwo2

thanks guys for all your help
i think some ppl miss understood me my ex and me were never married.
and when i went to met my boyfriend it was to get to know him before putting him into my kids lifes and they were looked after by my mother so i guess unless she is willing to call herself a unfit carer there should be no issue of abandoment.
when it comes to me taking my son i have been told all ill have to prove is his life will be better there which im sure it will as im on benefit and my ex doesnt have a good job so financial they will be much better taken care of plus my ex doesnt see his kids much anyway.


thanks for all your help

mumtwo2

i have also noticed he would have to prove he is better suited to look after my son which he is not my ex lives with his mum and dad in a small house and is a coach driver driving to france, spain etc so is away for 3-4 days at a time how can he then look after my son.

Ray

Only if he was applying for custody of the child

Does not apply in your case.

ian-mstm

You have been "told" incorrectly... you don't need to prove anything.


What do you mean by this? If he has "no parental rights" with the older boy, does he have "parental rights" with the younger boy? If he does, you will need his written permission to remove the boy from the UK.

Ian

mumtwo2

i already know i only have to get his pemission for my youngest

mumtwo2

and if i dont need to prove my youngest will have a better life there then here what do i need to prove?

mumtwo2

i think ppl have got the wrong end of me i was just looking for advise. i truely do love my boyfriend and i really do think my kids would be better of there even in the long run. i have no qualifacations and my ex has none so with that in mind and how england is heading my kids aint going to be able to do anything great with there lives here i guess that could be disagreed with. my oldest wants to go she doesnt want to stay here and trust me i have explained in detail that she will not be able to see her dad or grandparents very often and she understand and is ok with it. the fact of the matter is there are loads of forums like this one with ppl doing the same thing anyone that lives here and has the chance to leave do. i just want a better life for my kids and me and i have fallen in love with someone that i know can make mine and my kids life better and not i dont mean with money.

i was just looking for people that would understand where im coming from

English Muffin

It's not a case of 'proving' anything. As part of the visa process you will need to attend an interview at the US Embassy in London. At that interview you will need to provide them with written permission from your child's father that they can leave the country to live in the US. If you can't get that written permission the Embassy will not issue your child a visa and without a visa they can't move to the USA.

The fact that you were not married to their father might make things simpler but I wouldn't count on it.

Noorah101

I think we do understand. However, getting permission from your ex to remove your youngest from the UK permanently is not an immigration matter, it's a civil matter for you. You don't have to prove anything to immigration, you just have to provide written permission or a court document or something which shows the father is OK with his son immigrating. That's something you might need an attorney for in the UK.

Rene

ian-mstm

You don't need to prove anything. I'm not sure why you think you do! The US doesn't care why you're moving... in a nutshell, all you have to do is fill out the application forms, pay the fees, and not have a criminal background.


You seem to be getting upset... I'm not sure why. You don't need to demonstrate to anyone why life would be better in the US. As I said before, the US government doesn't care why you want to move. There is nothing to "prove" to anyone.

Please... we do want to help - but without accurate information it's a bit difficult to answer your questions. Still, keep asking... this is how we learn.

Ian

Archibald_Leach

Hey I was hoping to read 101 questions, and now I feel short-changed.

Your first post does lead to a few few questions though.

Is your ex boyfriend the biological father of the elder child?

The UK law was revised a few years ago concerning rights and responsibilities of unmarried parents, but there is an age when the child can chose who to live with, think you might need some legal advice on this. Taking a child out of the country and effectively cutting them off from the father (biological or adopted) will be difficult unless your ex fully co-operates.

When you say your boyfriend was detained, do you mean at UK immigration? did they let him in? if not, what was the reason?

"Abandonment" is a legal term (in the UK anyway) that your mum probably heard on a TV show, a 2 week holiday leaving the children with their grandparents isnt abandonment, it's called a break!

A better life, this board groans under the weight of this expression, a lot of posters use this expression, it's too subjective, let them dig you in the ribs a bit about it, and dont take offence, the truth is, if it works out for you in the USA then thats wonderful, for some it's a mistake and they find it difficult to relocate back to the UK. I'd say it's a different life, a fresh start.

My only advice is to get your mum on your side, the processes you have to go through to get here, interviews, medical, will be a lot smoother if she is willing to let you 'abandon' the children with her while you visit embassy and docs

Good luck! you could be here within the year if all goes well.