Zeeman

I am in need of some solid advice.

I am a UK citizen and my girlfriend is a US citizen. I came to America to meet her in person on the visa waiver program, initially intending to head back home after two weeks. As it was we fell deeply in love and I thought I would stay a while longer as I had sufficient funds to buy another ticket home and keep myself without having to worry about working or anything like that.

Then the problems began. My bank was holding some kind of deal at the time of my travel meaning that if I only used Bank of America to draw money out it would not cost any extra in fees. Knowing I was staying for a while and the 'promo' was only temporary (or so i was told) I drew out all my money and stored it at at her grandfathers house. Alas they had a break in and my money was amongst some of the many things that were taken.

To cut short I have been here a just under a year now, being supported very kindly by my girlfriend through the fact I could look after her son and save money on child care fees. I dont take a lot to keep as I an vegetarian and do not smoke or drink and am not one for going out much to clubs or anything.

It really seems like we are cursed though, every time she graciously tried to save up money to help me get home again something would happen. First her car broke down in a real bad way costing a fortune, then we gave a family member of hers the next batch of savings to hold onto so we didn't dip into it and they 'lost' it and claimed no responsibility in helping to recover it.

Personally we thing they outright stole it. After this (and other happenings) I decided to look into the idea of staying and marrying her here but from what I have seen its a very costly endeavor which would take us at least another 6 months to save up for. (the original intention was and now still remains for us to move to England and get married there).

Now we are wondering how it is possible for us both to travel to the UK together, getting married and living there as originally planned, it seems if we do like I will be banned from returning to the U.S. for up to ten years.

Also I don't want to live here illegally as I am now and don't want to work in this country as an illegal. I know I should have looked into all this before coming here in the first place but there was never an intention of staying it was originally a holiday and she was to come to England a while after I had returned. We want to be able to do things right to save any heartache and undue stress however we have been through so much together and love each other so dearly that we do not want to be apart from each other, especially given the current climates financially and otherwise in both countries.

I cannot for the life of me find anything that talks about such a situation, the nearest I find is that if I was in the UK already she could apply for a fiance visa and move across to marry me. Problem is that whilst we have someone who will loan us the money on her side of the family to get us all over there it has to be all of us, they wont lend me the money to return on my own for whatever reason they have in their head.

Is it possible for us to return to the UK with her son from a previous marriage altogether(the father is fine with it as he lives in another state, never sees his child and has signed the relevant papers to allow him a passport). I don't think her traveling on the VWP would be a good idea as I'm sure we would run into the same problems we have here and as I have said we want to do this right. Will they grant her a fiance visa if I am not already in England though.

I have family there who will let us stay with them and sponsor us until I get a job and save up for our own place to rent. Ive already been told through my work colleagues that I would be able to get my old job back as well so we would not have to rely on any public money to keep us at any point in all of this.

I'm sorry if I have made this longer than it need be and repeated myself but we are distraught over trying to work out a way that is legal and works for us. I hope someone can help and if you are reading this part of my post then thank you for sticking with it

Dave_Was

Hello there,

I've read through the post and it does seem like you've got yourself into a pickle.

I would definitely say that you need to get good advice and you've taken the first steps in getting that.

I do think that there are some forums that will have more expertise in the immigration field than this one, www.immigrationboards.com is one and there are probably others out there too. I would see if you can somehow get some proper legal advice too.

If you want to do this right I think that your going to have to plan for spending some time apart and also spending some money, at the mimimum in fees for visas and travel.

I don't really have the knowledge to give more advice, but one thing please consider the effect on your relationship if you do get a 10 year ban. This is effectively saying to your then wife, that your relationship would have to be non US based, at least for 10 years. Though some people have no problems moving to a new country, by the very existence of this forum you can see a lot of people do. Just something that if I was in your position, carefully think about.

Good luck and best wishes.

Zeeman

Many thanks for your response, I shall check the links you offered gratefully.

Luckily my wife to be is a self confessed 'anglophile' and revels in the idea of being able to live there. She doesn't really have anything here except a bunch of strange family members who by her own account are too 'stupidly complex' and drama addicted to even spend time bothering with. Having known her for the past year now I am in full faith that she would love it, plus she has wanted to move out of this state since she was 16. Also she has met my family and she loves them as much as they love her. My sister and her hit it off like they were best friends and they both have children of similar ages who get on wonderfully too.

Its frustrating to think that the life of our dreams is just a hair length out of reach due to immigration bureaucracy (though they have to do something to maintain the countries security guess) when in the UK people from places like Poland and Portugal can simply land on the shores and instantly start claiming all kinds of crazy benefits. We are people who like to work and make our own way and it feels sometimes like that kind of person is given a harder time than the slacker who milk the system and generally add to the moral decay of our societies. I'm not racist by the way just speaking from experience and I blame the system over the people who take advantage of it.

We don't mind the cost of Visa's and passports as someone has offered to loan us the money (that whole all of you or no-one offer) so the costs are a secondary problem. Its just working out how to get that fiance visa for her whilst I'm still here.

Thank you also for not judging me/us in this situation. Its amazing how cut and dry people can be without understanding that life does not often go in those perfect straight paths we are all expected to travel down. Sorry to rattle on again I know I'm meant to stay on topic and remain impersonal.

Peace and thanks once more

Celtic Princess

I would imagine that there is no way you could get a fiance visa under your current circumstances, that the only way to get one is for you to return to the UK alone and then apply for one. But I'm not an expert.

I think the best advice anyone can give you in this matter is to forget internet forums and find yourself a lawyer who deals with immigration matters. As the previous poster said, you've got yourself into a right pickle.

Contact the British Embassy, they'll either be able to advise you or point you in the direction of someone else who can. And be prepared to pay. I don't think sorting this out is going to come cheap.

britishbull

The only think I can think of is for you to save up enough money to get a start in another country, somewhere cheap presumably as I don't think you will have much chance in the USA - just getting out of there without being arrested will be interesting! The gf will be able to fly to Blighty but I think they will want her to go back to the USA if you get married there and go through their involved marriage visa process which requires proof that you can support yourselves etc. Rule one is always to stay legal!

Dave_Was

Just getting a loan may not be enough, as this is not your money. To eventually get a spousal visa, which is what your wife would have to do, you need to convince the immigration people that you won't use public funds. So typically, this would be in the form of banks statements, job references, housing agreements, etc. In some cases, qualifications and job prospects go a long way towards convincing them in lieu of having a job, say in the situation both husband and wife have been living abroad and so don't have jobs in the UK. Also generally bank statements going back several months are requested to show that you haven't just borrowed the money and placed it into your account.

I would definitely say you want to get legal clarification on this, both in terms of you leaving the US and how best to start your life in the UK with your future wife.

I think that you need to do this in two steps. The first, sort out your US situation and secondly sort out the UK one.

Good luck.

Zeeman

Blimey, I thought that if I was leaving the country voluntarily then they would simply be happy that I was leaving of my own accord, do you know of any precedent of this actually happening cause my searches are coming up empty.

I guess I am very Naive when it comes to all of this, realizing I have cocked this up massively I just want to make it all right and find the proper legal way to unbind this mess

Thanks for your responses.

Zeeman

That's one of the reasons why I thought returning to England would be more viable. It's going to cost and arm and a leg either way but at least if we did it in England we could start off on the right foot and my GF would love to live there anyway.

We had heard of people using the VWP and then getting married but we figured that this sounded like a silly move when we could just apply for a spousal visa and do it in an upfront and honest manner.

When you say they would want her to go back do you mean she would be refused admission at the airport or that she would have to return then apply for residence. I didn't realize it was all so strict for people who were getting married. I'm guessing all this is because of the bloody terrorists.

FlyergirlUK

If you want to get married in the UK she's going to need either a fiance(e) visa or a marriage visit visa - without either of those she could have problems staying for too long. The former would allow her to stay in the UK until your wedding but you would have to shell out again for her to get another visa, the FLR, (further leave to remain) once you were married. She would not be able to work until she has the FLR visa.
The latter would mean that she'd have to leave the UK once married in order to apply for another visa, the FLE (further leave to enter) so she could come back to the UK.

To me, it makes more sense to marry while in the US and then, once you are financially able to, apply for a spousal visa, (FLE) for her.

Check out britainusa.com for the visa information and uk-yankee.com for others who will have more information and can offer support on the process.

As for you being arrested, for overstaying, as you leave the US - I don't think so.

Zeeman

So basically, getting married in the US then apply for a fiance visa as an already married couple is the best bet and we could still hopefully leave together. Sounds like a good path to take. I know once we get to England the last thing we would want would be to see her have to leave again.

Thankfully I worked in a govt job back in the UK for 6+ years and they are very short of staff so paying for things once we are there wont be a problem if I can get back in to my job. Its just getting this all set up in the beginning thats such a pain in the posterior.

We are the type that could talk about science and geek stuff all day long but we simply get so lost in all the maze of beauracracy and 'red tape' it makes us dizzy.

I'm eternally grateful that there are people like yourself and the other responders who can make sense of some of this. Many thanks for your advice though flyergirlUK all of this is helping us to clarify things and search with more efficiency. Time to save up for some legal advice also methinks

Dave_Was

You need to check what the situation is if you get married in the US, considering your immigration status. It may make things worse. I believe the very first thing you need to do is work out your immigration status. That probably means getting legal advice and leaving the US.

On a seperate point if you are married then you apply for a spousal visa not a fiance visa.

Is it at all possible for you to go back to the UK without your fiance and get things setup a little and then get married?

If you were in the UK with a job and a place to stay the situation would become a lot easier.

FlyergirlUK

But he wouldn't be able to go back to the US and get married - there'd be a 3 year bar in place at the very minimum.

Dave_Was

Yes I agree, that him travelling to the US in the future is going to be very difficult in the least.

My thought's would be for him to get himself setup in the UK and then either his fiance come to the UK to get married, or they take a holiday to the carribean or some third country and then get married.

Though I freely admit I'm not a lawyer or qualified to give advice, getting married while out of immigration status, doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

FlyergirlUK

What makes you think that? Getting married is the simple part. Get a licence, stand in front of a JP and say your vows. The immigration side, regarding the US, however, couldn't hurt to use some legal guidance!

Dave_Was

You maybe right. I have to admit I don't know anyone who has gone through the marriage procedure in the US.