robin1234

Wife and I always kept our own names; it's never remotely been an issue. We currently live in a very small town, so sometimes it is amusing when an acquaintance who knows both of us (but not together) sees us together finally and says "OMG .. You two know each other? .. You've been married thirty five years??"

My niece in England just married her partner. They both have quite long family names. They opted for the solution of truncating both names and hyphenating them together. Not a bad solution.

cindyabs

I incorporated my maiden name with my DH's surname-hyphenated. I took my maiden name back after ex and I divorced and decided I was never going to "lose" myself again. DH is cool with it, although it makes for some interesting mail.

PS Personally I don't give a rat's ass how it sounds, it is how at this point I see myself. It is also how I feel about including DH's name (which he is proud of) into the mix. When I was married to the ex, I used my maiden name for a middle name, and it is my son's middle name.

Apfelkuchen

My Mum said something similar. She changed her name to my Dad's when they married and changed back to her maiden name when they divorced. When I asked her opinion on the issue she said if she were doing it over again she would just keep her own name.

Apfelkuchen

I like the idea of being able to mess with people.

Do you mind me asking if you have kids and if they just have your name?

Ozzidoc

He kept his.

I kept mine.

Kid has double-barrelled (mine first then his).

Kaffy Mintcake

I don't think they are a problem for the adults but can be tricky if given to the children as well. I have a friend who had a double-barrelled last name (5 syllables) coupled with Alexandra for a first name. Because her last name was so long she was always listed as "Alex" on forms or similar simply because they ran out of room.

Her attitude was that it was fine for her parents, but she couldn't really have 3 last names if she married, could she? It was unsustainable.

I thought that was a valid point and hadn't considered it from a child's point of view before.

Elvira

I too have two long first names. Plus I was born with a d/b name. When I married, I combined one half of it with my husband's name. The bit of my 'maiden' name I stuck with was chosen purely on the basis that it sounded better.

The only time I regretted this was when signing house purchase and mortgage documents here in the US Took forever...

Kaffy Mintcake

Oh my gosh, I can only imagine! Ack!

Apfelkuchen

I agree that it could get clumsy if, for example, two people with double-barrelled names get married, although they could just use the Spanish solution and fuse the first parts of each surname. (It seems like Elvira's solution was a bit like that).

That said, I reckon my kids will just have my husband's name. I'm not worried about equality, I just feel (perhaps irrationally) that my name is part of me and don't want to give it up. And I'm not worried about having the same name as my kids, although I wonder if that ever causes logistical issues.

Kaffy Mintcake

That's not irrational at all. I'm sympathetic to you. I was the last person in the family with our last name and when I married, I changed it. That bothers me to this day and I may at least change my middle name (which is just 'Anne' and holds no significance) to my maiden name to re-incorporate it. I think it's good that you're thinking about this now. If I'd had a name that could have been hyphenated without sounding like a train wreck, I think I would have done that. I wasn't so lucky.

Apfelkuchen

I have been repeating my potential hyphenated name to myself to try and get used to the sound. I don't think it is too train wreck-ish, but it does seem a bit long. Each of our names has two syllables (mine 7 letters, his 5).

robin1234

Yes we have two children and they both have just my name.

fatbrit

Don't do it to yourself.

Apfelkuchen

GoldCoastMag

I returned to my "own" name on separation, and a palaver it was too. Now I have all my education papers, immigration and ID's in my birth name, I choose to keep it, and my 2nd hubby is very supportive.

My kids all have their fathers last name, and I wish I had put my name as a 2nd name in theirs. It certainly helps with family history, as I have trouble following womens lines when their surname has been left at the alter!

Now I think the idea of double barrel is ok, but as others have noted for future generations it can be problematic.