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Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

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Old Sep 21st 2008, 3:49 am
  #16  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by Noorah101
Where did lore30 say she wanted to sue him? All I read was that she is thinking of divorcing him.

Rene

Squentna is once again trying to take over the reins of another person's life. In this case, their personal life, not their immigration life.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 3:56 am
  #17  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by squentna
You're welcome and here is your next question: With that history you will have a difficult time suing him BEFORE the competency question is answered. In other words if he's declared incompetent legally (and he could be) you don't want to be declared his "guardian" (and you are the first choice of guardian), if you want to take legal action against him. This would make a divorce filing difficult. You need to speak with his doctor (and you can as his wife under the HIPPA rules, to get the diagnosis/prognosis) and inquire about his level of competency. The quick discussion in private with his doctor about competency will pay off big time in lawyer's fees and the route that you eventually will decide to take. The talk with the doctor will also assist you in the decision process which, to you must be extremely difficult. Extremely difficult. You need to know what his mental status / prognosis really is before you plan anything. You are correct it also has to be fair to him even if he is legally incompetent.
To the OP:

I am so sorry, and I certainly understand that you may have had all you can handle, and wish to be divorced now.

I do not believe his illness would prevent you from divorcing him. If he is being discharged from the hospital, he is NOT being judged incompetant.

I believe Squentna is also incorrect re. HIPAA law - a wife is NOT entitled to disclosure of a husband's medical information "behind his back". If your husband has no objection, his doctor can speak with you. But unless your husband is declared incompetant, HIPAA law does NOT give a wife special access to your husband's information.

However, he perhaps might be willing to let you talk to his doctor, if you feel you need to.

It seems to be though, as your mind is made up, that a more important person to talk to might be a divorce attorney - who could advise you of all these issues. Make sure to let the attorney know about immigration issues as well.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 4:14 am
  #18  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by Tracym
To the OP:

I believe Squentna is also incorrect re. HIPAA law - a wife is NOT entitled to disclosure of a husband's medical information "behind his back". If your husband has no objection, his doctor can speak with you. But unless your husband is declared incompetant, HIPAA law does NOT give a wife special access to your husband's information..
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/consumer_ffg.pdf
HIPPA rules are different for the actual provider. There is a specific exclusion for providers. The HIPPA rules are 76 pages. Basically the physician provider can talk to any one at any time for any reason, because the rules say "HIPPA in no way shall impede the physician from carrying on the duties of a physician in the course of patient care." Most of the HIPPA rules online are for non-providers. HIPPA does apply in this case, just not to YOU.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 4:53 am
  #19  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by squentna
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/consumer_ffg.pdf
HIPPA rules are different for the actual provider. There is a specific exclusion for providers. The HIPPA rules are 76 pages. Basically the physician provider can talk to any one at any time for any reason, because the rules say "HIPPA in no way shall impede the physician from carrying on the duties of a physician in the course of patient care." Most of the HIPPA rules online are for non-providers. HIPPA does apply in this case, just not to YOU.
Hi:

I'm not qualified in HIPPA, but I happened to be married to a mental health professional who was the HIPPA compliance officer for one the clinics in her department. She looked at it and all I will say is that your post caused a sputtering reaction that is not fit to print.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 4:55 am
  #20  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by ian-mstm
Y
Immigration and the divorce are two separate issues. Immigration isn't going to care *why* she divorced.
Ian:

Notionally speaking, this is correct. However, if there is a reason such as there is in this case, it should be brought out.

Also, she can file the abused spouse I-751 here.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 4:59 am
  #21  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by squentna
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/consumer_ffg.pdf
HIPPA rules are different for the actual provider. There is a specific exclusion for providers. The HIPPA rules are 76 pages. Basically the physician provider can talk to any one at any time for any reason, because the rules say "HIPPA in no way shall impede the physician from carrying on the duties of a physician in the course of patient care." Most of the HIPPA rules online are for non-providers. HIPPA does apply in this case, just not to YOU.
To the original poster - I am sorry you are being sidetracked. I'm sorry to have to be blunt th squentna, but the above is complete nonsense.

If you need to speak to your husband's doctor alone, technically you will need your husband's permission.

Originally Posted by Folinskyinla
Hi:

I'm not qualified in HIPPA, but I happened to be married to a mental health professional who was the HIPPA compliance officer for one the clinics in her department. She looked at it and all I will say is that your post caused a sputtering reaction that is not fit to print.
No kidding! Come on... you can print it - just use a few @*#$& in appropriate places
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 5:06 am
  #22  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by Tracym
If he is being discharged from the hospital, he is NOT being judged incompetant.
Hi:

Laws can vary state to state. The California limit on involuntary commitment is 72 hours and it is very hard to extend it beyond that.

I also think that the people to contact are the battered women's shelters -- they have access to the whole spectrum of professional aid that might be needed including lawyers.

An angel and one of G-d's gifts to the planet is Heather Poole -- see http://www.humanrightsattorney.com/s...D22E91DB6118C9

[To moderators, this is not my website. However, this is the person that J Fong and I refer VAWA situations to].

The OP is not alone. She has reached out to us and most of us on this forum are trying to help. To OP -- please call Heather -- if she cannot help you, she will refer you to some one who can.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am just for myself, then what am I? If not now, when?" Pirke Avot.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 5:24 am
  #23  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by Folinskyinla
Hi:

Laws can vary state to state. The California limit on involuntary commitment is 72 hours and it is very hard to extend it beyond that.

I also think that the people to contact are the battered women's shelters -- they have access to the whole spectrum of professional aid that might be needed including lawyers.

An angel and one of G-d's gifts to the planet is Heather Poole -- see http://www.humanrightsattorney.com/s...D22E91DB6118C9

[To moderators, this is not my website. However, this is the person that J Fong and I refer VAWA situations to].

The OP is not alone. She has reached out to us and most of us on this forum are trying to help. To OP -- please call Heather -- if she cannot help you, she will refer you to some one who can.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am just for myself, then what am I? If not now, when?" Pirke Avot.
That's terrific advice

just for the record - I wasn't saying he wasn't incompetant if he was discharged. Just that he hadn't been legally declared incompetant, that's all I meant.

And yes, to the original poster - do please continue to look here for help if you need it, there are people who want to help you.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 6:09 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

[QUOTE=Tracym;6806285]That's terrific advice .... Just that he hadn't been legally declared incompetant, that's all I meant. QUOTE]

You mean if he was legally incompetent he would have been held in the hospital? That would be illegal.

It's great to know we have musicians, social workers, firefighters certified in CPR and school teachers arguing points they have no knowledge about and with such passion! There is much more passion here than wisdom or experience. The knowledge is mostly the frantic facts of internet searches. Not the real experience of being a physician on the front line who actually carries his own malpractice insurance. Rudeness amplifies mistakes, but hey who notices? As long as the credentials of "I had one of those once" serve to create authority, any falsehood is acceptable. What really chaps some of you is that my perspective is different. You spend more time fighting and arguing than thinking about the post. Words like stupid are especially creative. Wisdom such as: "She wants a divorce, she's not going to sue him" make me wonder if the poster actually thought what was being said. Common folks get over this ganging up on people who may not subscribe to your particular brand of lunacy. We all have our own personality and no one deserves to be ridiculed. It's especially important to nurture and keep posters who may have more to say than personal attacks by the insiders.

To the OP, just call up the Doc. He'll talk. If I were his doc, I would talk openly and honestly and without fear of legal consequences. All these non-physicians here are simply wrong. Anyway don't let them make it too complicated, a simple phone call to the doc will straighten this out. See ya later and I am the doctor.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 6:31 am
  #25  
 
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by Folinskyinla
[To moderators, this is not my website. However, this is the person that J Fong and I refer VAWA situations to]..
For something like the millionth time, you do not have to add this every time you post a link. We know what your website is.

Heather Poole comes highly recommended elsewhere on the net, FWIW.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 7:43 am
  #26  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by meauxna
. We know what your website is.
Is that the one with facsimile spelt wrongly...lol
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 7:47 am
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by squentna


To the OP, just call up the Doc. He'll talk. If I were his doc, I would talk openly and honestly and without fear of legal consequences. All these non-physicians here are simply wrong. Anyway don't let them make it too complicated, a simple phone call to the doc will straighten this out. See ya later and I am the doctor.
Grrr......I presume that you mean he or she!

And, for the record, I'd NEVER partake in such a conversation over the phone.

OP - good luck with everything. There really is some good advice above....especially from Mr F.
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 7:52 am
  #28  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by Ozzidoc
And, for the record, I'd NEVER partake in such a conversation over the phone.
.
Of course .. You are a REAL doctor .....
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 8:52 am
  #29  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

Originally Posted by squentna
[
See ya later and I am the doctor.

Of what?
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Old Sep 21st 2008, 10:15 am
  #30  
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Default Re: Marriage is falling apart-Help!!!!!

[quote=squentna;6806383]
Originally Posted by Tracym
That's terrific advice .... Just that he hadn't been legally declared incompetant, that's all I meant. QUOTE]

You mean if he was legally incompetent he would have been held in the hospital? That would be illegal.

It's great to know we have musicians, social workers, firefighters certified in CPR and school teachers arguing points they have no knowledge about and with such passion! There is much more passion here than wisdom or experience. The knowledge is mostly the frantic facts of internet searches. Not the real experience of being a physician on the front line who actually carries his own malpractice insurance. Rudeness amplifies mistakes, but hey who notices? As long as the credentials of "I had one of those once" serve to create authority, any falsehood is acceptable. What really chaps some of you is that my perspective is different. You spend more time fighting and arguing than thinking about the post. Words like stupid are especially creative. Wisdom such as: "She wants a divorce, she's not going to sue him" make me wonder if the poster actually thought what was being said. Common folks get over this ganging up on people who may not subscribe to your particular brand of lunacy. We all have our own personality and no one deserves to be ridiculed. It's especially important to nurture and keep posters who may have more to say than personal attacks by the insiders.

To the OP, just call up the Doc. He'll talk. If I were his doc, I would talk openly and honestly and without fear of legal consequences. All these non-physicians here are simply wrong. Anyway don't let them make it too complicated, a simple phone call to the doc will straighten this out. See ya later and I am the doctor.
I AM trained in the areas the OPs husband is having problems with. You are making some very odd comments in this thread.

He can be in the hospital perfectly legally without being declared imcompetant - he may have choosen to stay there until the advise that he be released. Not everyone in a mental hospital is incompetant. Don't be ridiculous.

But if he WAS incompetant, he would likely NOT be released.

If you were a medical doctor, and you talked without permission - you'd get a huge fine, at the least. She probably can talk to the doctor, because her husband probably won't mind. But I don't think she wants or needs to talk to the doctor - she wants and needs to talk to a lawyer.

With every post you make on this thread, you show your lack of knowledge on the subject.

Originally Posted by Ozzidoc
Grrr......I presume that you mean he or she!

And, for the record, I'd NEVER partake in such a conversation over the phone.

OP - good luck with everything. There really is some good advice above....especially from Mr F.
No kidding Ozzi - I would hope to think most docs would not.

And yes, Mr. F has done the best of all of us on this thread for sure!
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