miss-him

hey i would like to get some info
i am in the us on a student visa F-1, i have meet a guy and we have been together for some time now, he has asked me to marry him.. but can I???

here is a few facts..
i am 17.
i came on a J-1 and changed a few months ago to an F-1.
He is in the military.


please help if you have any info..

I just dont want to get in to any problems with immigration..

ian-mstm

Of course you can marry him if you want. The question is - can you marry him and not violate immigration law?


Depending on the state, you may not be eligible to marry without parental permission.


Make sure he's well insured!

Ian

Anon

miss-him wrote:
    > hey i would like to get some info
    > i am in the us on a student visa F-1, i have meet a guy and we have been
    > together for some time now, he has asked me to marry him.. but can I???
    >
    > here is a few facts..
    > i am 17.
    > i came on a J-1 and changed a few months ago to an F-1.
    > He is in the military.

    > please help if you have any info..
    >

Can you get married?
Yes, but you might need parental consent in some states.
It is legal to get married while on a F-1.

Should you get married?

At 17, I wouldn't recommend it. What is the rush?

Of course, I just answered a question you didn't ask, but I know there
are other questions you didn't ask that you want answered, correct? You
didn't ask about living in the US permanently............... Yes.. it is
possible to adjust status from an F-1 visa. WARNING.. If you intend to
permanently live in the US with him, then be very careful about leaving
the country and returning. The reason for this is that if you have
immigrant intent, then you have to enter the US on a visa the permits
immigration, or you risk not being permitted back into the US. For this
reason, I reocmmend getting legal advice. It is possible that he has
access to legal assistance on his base.

sphyrapicus

Is your fiance a US citizen?

miss-him

yes


um ok so i what i would like to know is this..
can i marry him. and not get in to any problems with immigration..
and do i need my parents to be here when i get married??

hopelessinks

I am going to play devils advocate here...I don't want to sound mean or anything, and being mean is not really in my nature.

1. how old is your boyfriend/fiance?

2. are you completley mad?...getting married is a very serious thing to do...and you are only 17!

3. Do you realise that a lot of military marriges end in divorce...the % rate is much higher than civilian marriages!

4. why do you ask about the greencard straight away?...is this a marriage of convienience or do you 'truly' love him....the truly is like that as I don't think anyone at 17 knows what true love really is...most ppl when they are 17 think they are in love and it will last forever....unfortunatley forever only lasts untill someone better looking or with more money comes along...

Like I said I am not trying to be mean...but these q's need to be addressed beofer you even think about putting a ring on your finger...take it from someone who has been married before...and I was 21 when I did it the first time...and that didn't work out...I was more mature than nmost at 21, but not ready for marriage...

J

miss-him

um well you know what i am not like most 17 years.
i think that the reason we really want to get married right now is that we want to be able to stay together,

you have the right to feel this way.. but i also have the right to get married

Just Jenney

Actually, she is actually 16 years old right now. She'll be 17 by the time they want to get married next May.

I know this because I came across a similar post by the OP on another immigration message board a few days ago, and raised some of the same concerns you have. While respectful of my opinion, she still feels she's ready for marriage. I disagree, but at least she is seeking out people's opinions on more than one board.

~ Jenney

Edited to remove the OP's first name from my comments per her request.

Anon

Jenney & Mark wrote:

    > Actually, she is actually 16 years old right now. She'll be 17 by the
    > time they want to get married next May.
    >
    > I know this because I came across a similar post by Nevin (the OP) on
    > another immigration message board (http://members.lovingyou.com/vbullet-
    > in/upload/showthread.php?s=&threadid=83090) a few days ago, and raised
    > some of the same concerns you have. While respectful of my opinion, she
    > still feels she's ready for marriage. I disagree, but at least she is
    > seeking out people's opinions on more than one board.

Or searching for an approving opinion. She said "I am 17". Was this a
typo or an attempt to make it look more palatable?

miss-him

your right i will be 17 soon and yes i understand that a lot of people dont want me to get married but all i want to know is can I legally get married with out having any problems.

HunterGreen

I usually try to refrain from commenting about if someone is doing the right thing or not, I feel that's up to them, and if I know the answer to their questions I will give it. BUT (and you know there had to be one) in this case there's just a lot of red flags all over the place.
What particularly bothers me is your asking if your parents need to be present... you're not thinking of going behind their backs, are you? Really, you may not be like other 17 year olds (and if you're 16 then, well, um) but this really doesn't sound thought through.

And with all due respect, it sounds like you're fishing for a green card, too. Why the heck would you ask if he'd get into trouble with immigration for marrying you? Because you're 17? Because he's in the military? Besides, I'm not so sure you have the right to get married - you have to look into your state laws for that.

Also wondering why you guys can't stay together without getting married? You're on a valid visa, ain't you? What's keeping you guys from moving in together?

Elaine

miss-him

i asked if my parents have to be there because, they live in another country.
and yes most likely i should have said that i am 16 soon to be 17, but i know how people feel about me getting married.
i asked about if he will get in to any problems if he marries me, because i dont what him to have any problems, which is one of the reasons that i posted this.

we had talked about getting married after i am 18 just so that people will not be so much agianst it. We want to wait with moving together untill we are married, but for now he spents the weekends at my house.

but if we do wait will we have visa problems then??
i guess what i really want to know is this can i get married on an F-1 visa and then stay on it, can i do that legally?? we would just like to know what can we legally do??
We want to get married, it doesnt really matter if it is now or later but the reason that we would like it to be soon is so that we can live together, and have a house, have our own life.
I understand that you guys dont agree with what we want to do, and a lot of our friends agree with you.
that is the reason that I think we should wait, but he really wants to get married befor he leaves.

HunterGreen

You don't have to repeat in every other sentence that you understand/expect people to not want you two getting married. Nobody here has said that. People did raise concerns and ask questions. Quit talking about what people do or do not want you to do, that's not their business and shouldn't matter to you. But do listen to their concerns and think about them. You don't have to answer any of my questions, but what I notice is really you don't answer any of the things that people here brought up. We say them for a reason, and it might help in determining what answers to give you. Like how would we know if you would have visa problems if you get married at 17 if we don't even know you can get legally married in your state? Know what I'm saying? Sometimes in order to get answers, you need to give a few.

Elaine

Just Jenney

In my response to you on LYC, I explained that your parents DO have to be present should you marry in Washington before you turn 18.


If you don't feel ready to marry him -- for whatever reason -- then DON'T. I cannot emphasize this enough to you. If you marry him before you are comfortable doing so, you will regret it big-time.


Before he leaves for where? Iraq? Afganistan??

It is important to provide these sorts of details when asking questions about immigration. If he is going to be deployed overseas -- especially in wartime -- it might make the immigration process much more complicated for you.

You also shouldn't feel pressured into marriage because he is being deployed. Marriage is a life-changing event, and one you hope lasts for a long, long time. It is not to be taken lightly, nor entered into when things are overly emotional -- especially when one of you has to go through immigration.

I'm glad your friends tell you that you're too young to get married. It shows that they really, truly care about you. I mean, we can say all we want here, but they KNOW you. They know your situation, and they STILL think it's a bad idea. You should listen to them.

~ Jenney

Just Jenney

In Miss-Him's defense, I have expressed my opinion -- both here and on that other message board I mentioned -- that she is not ready for marriage.

And while you (and possibly others) may feel it's not my business, I personally feel very concerned for her and thus let her know that. She doesn't have to agree with what I say, but I don't feel there's any harm in sharing my concern, especially since I don't express it in a viscious way.

Now she's admitted that she would actually like to wait until she's older to get married, but her boyfriend wants to do it soon, before he's deployed. That is an amazing amount of pressure to be under, no matter what your age. A 16-year-old simply shouldn't have to be worrying about that sort of thing. I want Miss-Him to know that it's ok to decide to not marry until she's comfortable doing so. She needs to get THAT sorted out before worrying about marriage-based immigration. That's what I would like for her to understand...

~ Jenney