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Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

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Old Jul 4th 2007, 4:50 pm
  #1  
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Question Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

I've just joined this forum in the hope of getting some help/advice.

My daughter and I moved from uk to aus 18 months ago on a prospective fiance visa, hubby and I married in May last year and this morning he drops a bombshell that he has another "interest" and wants my teenage daughter and me out asap. The relationship has been up and down since the beginning but I never dreamed it'd come to this...

To say I'm shell shocked is the understatement of the decade and I have no idea where to go or what to do. He's said he will be contacting the immigration people to tell them the relationship is over and they will deport my daughter and I. What happens then? I don't have the finances to pay for return flights and he sure isn't willing to contribute. Or will immigration just bundle us on a plane and dump us at Heathrow?

I have no family anywhere for support and the friends I had before coming have moved on, so I really need some advice from anyone who can point me in the right direction please.

I'm trying to get my head together enough to think about practical matters.. I've been working full time but wages have gone on rent, food and travel to and from work so haven't saved (which in hindsight was stupid of me)..

Both my daughter and I were born in England and lived there all our lives til coming here..

Any suggestions/advice greatfully appreciated.

Thanks

Poppy
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 5:03 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Originally Posted by poppy1967
I've just joined this forum in the hope of getting some help/advice.

My daughter and I moved from uk to aus 18 months ago on a prospective fiance visa, hubby and I married in May last year and this morning he drops a bombshell that he has another "interest" and wants my teenage daughter and me out asap. The relationship has been up and down since the beginning but I never dreamed it'd come to this...

To say I'm shell shocked is the understatement of the decade and I have no idea where to go or what to do. He's said he will be contacting the immigration people to tell them the relationship is over and they will deport my daughter and I. What happens then? I don't have the finances to pay for return flights and he sure isn't willing to contribute. Or will immigration just bundle us on a plane and dump us at Heathrow?

I have no family anywhere for support and the friends I had before coming have moved on, so I really need some advice from anyone who can point me in the right direction please.

I'm trying to get my head together enough to think about practical matters.. I've been working full time but wages have gone on rent, food and travel to and from work so haven't saved (which in hindsight was stupid of me)..

Both my daughter and I were born in England and lived there all our lives til coming here..

Any suggestions/advice greatfully appreciated.

Thanks

Poppy
Hi, think you just posted that so no doubt lots more advice will come up yet. But firstly your not alone there are a lot of people on this forum going back for reasons relating to a marriage breakdown.

Would the first step be to ring the british consulate ( I am guessing thats what its called these days ) or australian immigration, (maybe anon if your worried) and explain your situation visa and financial wise, and find out where you stand. I would also call some form of womens crisis centre to find out if your partner can tell you to leave "now" if your names on a lease thats highly unlikely. As for the fare back, can you get a loan from family in UK? Would you be due holiday pay from your job that would cover it, or put fares on a credit card.
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 5:14 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Originally Posted by poppy1967
I've just joined this forum in the hope of getting some help/advice.

My daughter and I moved from uk to aus 18 months ago on a prospective fiance visa, hubby and I married in May last year and this morning he drops a bombshell that he has another "interest" and wants my teenage daughter and me out asap. The relationship has been up and down since the beginning but I never dreamed it'd come to this...

To say I'm shell shocked is the understatement of the decade and I have no idea where to go or what to do. He's said he will be contacting the immigration people to tell them the relationship is over and they will deport my daughter and I. What happens then? I don't have the finances to pay for return flights and he sure isn't willing to contribute. Or will immigration just bundle us on a plane and dump us at Heathrow?

I have no family anywhere for support and the friends I had before coming have moved on, so I really need some advice from anyone who can point me in the right direction please.

I'm trying to get my head together enough to think about practical matters.. I've been working full time but wages have gone on rent, food and travel to and from work so haven't saved (which in hindsight was stupid of me)..

Both my daughter and I were born in England and lived there all our lives til coming here..

Any suggestions/advice greatfully appreciated.

Thanks

Poppy
I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

I don't know anything about Aus immigration...surely you are there with some sort of visa. I am assuming the finance visa was void when you married. I wouldn't have thought you would be deported in the short term...afterall you are still married. Sounds as though he is trying to frighten you into leaving asap. Surely he can't throw you and your daughter out of the home you've shared with him.

Hang in there I am sure there will be someone along shortly who can give you more informed advice than I. In the meantime try to stay strong and feel free to come on here to vent anytime...it can really help.

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Jul 4th 2007 at 6:49 pm.
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 5:39 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Originally Posted by jad n rich
Would the first step be to ring the british consulate ( I am guessing thats what its called these days ) or australian immigration, (maybe anon if your worried) and explain your situation visa and financial wise, and find out where you stand.
British Consulate cannot help on Australian visas. And regarding immigration assistance, get urgent advice from IARC or a similar organisation. http://www.iarc.asn.au

Don't just ring the Department.

Discussion with a family law solicitor in the State/Territory is also essential so you can find out what rights you have for support.

I would also recommend asking the same question on the Australia immigration forum. Unfortunately, quite a few people who uproot to come to Australia on temporary visas get into problems like this.

Last edited by JAJ; Jul 4th 2007 at 5:41 pm.
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 5:54 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Thanks both for your replies and suggestions. I've been in touch with an immigration advice place I found online and waiting to get a call back with some info.

jad n rich, my work was casual so not entitled to holiday pay, and I haven't got any credit cards. All my income was ploughed into the home and stuff daughter needed. I don't have any family in uk to fall back on either. I'll call the immigration place again tomorrow as couldn't get through to anyone today. My name's on the rental agreement yes, but what difference does that make?

Jerseygirl, he's not a bad person. He just thought he loved me and it's turned out he doesn't and wants out. I wrongly thought that if we could get through the initial visa application together then we could get through anything, but that's not how it's turned out. I came on a prospective spouse visa which meant daughter and I could stay til we married then i applied for spouse visa which is temporary for 2 years and then would have had to apply for permanent visa next May. So even though he signed a statement to say he'd support us for 2 years, he says that the relationship being over cancels that out.

Your reply just showed up JAJ, thank you for your advice. I'll contact IARC first thing tomorrow. I have no finances to pay for a solicitor, but I'll resend on the other forum too.

Thanks

Poppy
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 5:59 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

OK first off Poppy where in the world are you?
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 6:35 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Oh...sorry...I'm in Queensland, Australia...forgot to put that..heads in the shed..sorry
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 6:38 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Originally Posted by poppy1967
Thanks both for your replies and suggestions. I've been in touch with an immigration advice place I found online and waiting to get a call back with some info.

jad n rich, my work was casual so not entitled to holiday pay, and I haven't got any credit cards. All my income was ploughed into the home and stuff daughter needed. I don't have any family in uk to fall back on either. I'll call the immigration place again tomorrow as couldn't get through to anyone today. My name's on the rental agreement yes, but what difference does that make?

Jerseygirl, he's not a bad person. He just thought he loved me and it's turned out he doesn't and wants out. I wrongly thought that if we could get through the initial visa application together then we could get through anything, but that's not how it's turned out. I came on a prospective spouse visa which meant daughter and I could stay til we married then i applied for spouse visa which is temporary for 2 years and then would have had to apply for permanent visa next May. So even though he signed a statement to say he'd support us for 2 years, he says that the relationship being over cancels that out.

Your reply just showed up JAJ, thank you for your advice. I'll contact IARC first thing tomorrow. I have no finances to pay for a solicitor, but I'll resend on the other forum too.

Thanks

Poppy


Sorry Poppy...it just seems he is treating you a little harsh...he could at least help you financially until you find your feet.

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Jul 4th 2007 at 6:51 pm.
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 6:38 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

That is a real shame as i would be happy to give some moral support if i could, but i'm a long way off in Sydney.

Is there anything similar to a citizens advice place up there that might be able to give you the facts on how to proceed?
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 6:55 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Hi. How awful for you all.

I would definitely get in touch with citizens advice in OS and the UK. The UK will be able to tell you what agencies will be able to help you get home and also, they can get help ready for your arrival home. Money, home etc.

Not much help, sorry.

Keep us posted. There will be loads of people on here who will want to help you.
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 7:30 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

I think you firstly need to decide if you actually want to go home.

If you don't then I don't see them deporting you. I remember seeing one of those No Turning Back programs where a lady had come over here and married an Aussie. He then kicked her out of the house but she was allowed to stay in Australia anyway. Maybe someone else can confirm this.
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 7:48 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Originally Posted by NedKelly
I think you firstly need to decide if you actually want to go home.

If you don't then I don't see them deporting you. I remember seeing one of those No Turning Back programs where a lady had come over here and married an Aussie. He then kicked her out of the house but she was allowed to stay in Australia anyway. Maybe someone else can confirm this.
Yes, but her spouse had a history of violence against her and this was noted by the Police. That's why she was allowed to stay.
If he has signed that he is going to support you I reckon you should see a solicitor. Good Luck.
Cheers
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 9:28 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Originally Posted by mcuddy1
Yes, but her spouse had a history of violence against her and this was noted by the Police. That's why she was allowed to stay.
If he has signed that he is going to support you I reckon you should see a solicitor. Good Luck.
Cheers
Hi Poppet

Sounds like a really stupid thing to say but try hard not to panic, you will get sorted. I know you must be in complete shock & dont know where to turn at the moment but once you are more aware of your rights, visa situation etc, you can assess what to do.
I really feel for you, not much help I know, just sending love.
Are you nth or sth Queensland - I'm about an hour south of the queensland border - here if you need to meet someone.
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 9:33 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Hi Poppy

It is tough being in another country, especially new when this happens, I had my residency when my marriage broke up and he cleared me out, but I was lucky that friends and strangers were very kind to me at that time.

Since you're in Brisbane, Try
Stephen Bullow
Sciaccas Lawyers and Consultants
Edmund Barton House
270 Adelaide Street, Brisbane t: 61 7 3867 8888
f: 61 7 3229 9482
toll free: 1800 658 525



He has quite a bit of knowledge, and not only may he be able to advise you, you never know he may even know someone who can give you a job if you are able to work. But he may be able to point you in some right directions hopefully if he can't help you himself as he has alot of contacts.




These links may also be of help

http://forums.australia-migration.co....php/f-10.html
http://www.civ.org.au/Text/113279315...050-3960/Links
http://www.naclc.org.au/directory/qld.html
http://www.ozcare.org.au/content.asp?action=44



I know you speak English, but they may also be able to help you
http://www.iwss.org.au/index.html




Keep us informed how you fare with any of the above.


Originally Posted by poppy1967
I've just joined this forum in the hope of getting some help/advice.

My daughter and I moved from uk to aus 18 months ago on a prospective fiance visa, hubby and I married in May last year and this morning he drops a bombshell that he has another "interest" and wants my teenage daughter and me out asap. The relationship has been up and down since the beginning but I never dreamed it'd come to this...

To say I'm shell shocked is the understatement of the decade and I have no idea where to go or what to do. He's said he will be contacting the immigration people to tell them the relationship is over and they will deport my daughter and I. What happens then? I don't have the finances to pay for return flights and he sure isn't willing to contribute. Or will immigration just bundle us on a plane and dump us at Heathrow?

I have no family anywhere for support and the friends I had before coming have moved on, so I really need some advice from anyone who can point me in the right direction please.

I'm trying to get my head together enough to think about practical matters.. I've been working full time but wages have gone on rent, food and travel to and from work so haven't saved (which in hindsight was stupid of me)..

Both my daughter and I were born in England and lived there all our lives til coming here..

Any suggestions/advice greatfully appreciated.

Thanks

Poppy
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Old Jul 4th 2007, 10:42 pm
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Default Re: Marriage breakup and returning to Uk

Aww you're all so very nice, thanks so much! I'm writing all advice, who to get in touch with etc in an exercise book as unsure how much longer I'll have access to the internet. He came back watched TV for an hour and is now in his usual spot at his puter playing solitaire..same old routine just different day, with just a quiet enjoy the net while you can comment under his breath.. Sorry, this isn't the place to be saying all this is it.. Is just a really scary space to be in but I'll try and do as you suggest birdynumnum, and not panic. I must say that the help and advice is calming me down a bit..just finding out what help available eleviates thoughts of daughter and I being homeless etc .. Others have been through this, and I'm sure I will too.. I have to for my daughter's sake!

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
Sorry Poppy...it just seems he is treating you a little harsh...he could at least help you financially until you find your feet.
He gives begrudgingly Jerseygirl, and only when asked, that includes interest/attention/conversation etc as well.. and "there's no money" is the usual response when I ask for extra grocery items (like feminine items) or to go out.do something anytime.. I've got used to that since being here...

I've found out about Legal Aid Queensland and RAILS so far fleaflyfloflum as well as the guy suggested here (thanks mercedes). Thanks also for offer of moral support, that's kind of you. I got myself into this pickle so will have to get out of it, though with all your help it's alot more doable than it was this morning!

You made a good point nedkelly.. I don't have any connections/ties here or the uk, the people I've met while here have been really nice and we love the climate of course, and my daughter is settled, so if I were given a choice both my daughter and I would like to stay, though wouldn't be heartbroken if had to go either..

Thanks birdynumnum I appreciate you replying. I'm about 20 mins north of Brisbane by bus. I'm not sure how far that is in km as I don't drive..

Things aren't always that straight forward mcuddy1. He transfer funds into joint account then withdraws over a few days via the atm so could easily say he is supporting financially (I'd been wondering why he'd been doing that..geez I'm naive!).. I will speak to the Legal Aid advice people about it though, cheers..

Mercedes - wow, thanks for all the info, and I'm sorry about your own experience with your ex.. I'll call Stephen tomorrow and check out the links and let you know how I go, for sure.

Thanks again all, it's such a relief finding such friendly helpul folk!
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