Marraige breakdown

Old May 18th 2014, 12:16 pm
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Default Marraige breakdown

My marraige has come to an end. We had been married less than 2 years. My AOS is still pending. I have a baby with my ex husband. It was a domestic violence situation that I had to remove myself from for the safety of me and my child.
I have filed papers for divorce and custody. Ideally I'd like to get full decision making custody where I can go back to the uk with my child but I don't know if that will happen at this time. If at all.
I know I can submit a form i751(?) explaining my situation. How often do they get approved? When should I do it? I was advised by a paralegal to still attend the interview alone when I get called for it.
Any advice and guidance here would be appreciated as I am very confused and anxious about everything.
Thank you.
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:36 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by hellojane
My marraige has come to an end. We had been married less than 2 years. My AOS is still pending. I have a baby with my ex husband. It was a domestic violence situation that I had to remove myself from for the safety of me and my child.
I have filed papers for divorce and custody. Ideally I'd like to get full decision making custody where I can go back to the uk with my child but I don't know if that will happen at this time. If at all.
I know I can submit a form i751(?) explaining my situation. How often do they get approved? When should I do it? I was advised by a paralegal to still attend the interview alone when I get called for it.
Any advice and guidance here would be appreciated as I am very confused and anxious about everything.
Thank you.
Form I-751 is not for you, since your AOS is still pending. You need the help of an immigration attorney. You need to discuss obtaining your green card on the basis of a VAWA case. Gather a much evidence of the abuse as you can.

I personally would not attend the AOS interview alone...I would attend with an immigration attorney.
Rene

Last edited by Noorah101; May 18th 2014 at 12:43 pm.
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:37 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

I can't afford an immigration attorney. I just can't.
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:39 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

What is aVAWA?
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:40 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by hellojane
I can't afford an immigration attorney. I just can't.
Them you need to research low cost or pro bono ones. Please don't go into this important stage without legal help, esp with a child involved.

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Old May 18th 2014, 12:41 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by hellojane
My AOS is still pending.
...
I know I can submit a form i751(?) explaining my situation.
It's important that people know you entered on a J-1 visa without the 2-year HRR. If your AOS is still pending, then you aren't yet a permanent resident... so you can't file an I-751 to remove the conditions, because there aren't yet any conditions to remove.


I was advised by a paralegal to still attend the interview alone when I get called for it.
I'm guessing you're talking about the AOS interview. You can certainly go alone - but if they're expecting your husband to be there, it's likely that your adjustment will be denied... and you will subsequently be removed from the US. That may happen whether or not you have full custody of your child. The child is a US citizen, and can't be removed from the US without either written approval of the father or a court order.


Any advice and guidance here would be appreciated as I am very confused and anxious about everything.
You need two attorneys - one for the divorce, and one for immigration. They need to talk to each other - because you are in a tenuous legal situation. Don't rely on paralegals... they are not equipped to deal with the ramifications of your situation.

If you get desperate and decide to take matters into your own hands, then you need to know that if you leave the US with your child without written approval of the father or a court order, you can (and most likely will) be charged with kidnapping. Both the US and the UK are signatories to the Hague Convention.

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Old May 18th 2014, 12:41 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by hellojane
What is aVAWA?
Violence Against Women Act. It protects those immigrants in abusive situations.

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Old May 18th 2014, 12:43 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Looked it up. Ok. Should I file that now? I've just sent off all my sponsorship information and am waiting for my employment authorization.
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:44 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by hellojane
What is aVAWA?
It's VAWA - Violence Against Women Act. I post this every now and again when it's required. I did not write this - I do not know who did, but the advice seems sound:

VAWA Filing

A self petitioner's declaration is also an affidavit. Explain in your own words to describe the history and nature of your relationship and residence with the abuser, history and nature of the abuse, and the ways to show good moral character. If you need to write your own, a good declaration contains the following:

Section on relationship to the abuser
  • How, when, and where the applicant met the spouse.
  • Describe the courtship before they married.
  • Details about the marriage proposal and wedding day.
  • If children, when were they born?
Section on residence with the abuser
  • When they moved in together.
  • Places where they lived together.
  • How long they lived in each place together.
Section on domestic violence
  • HOW and WHEN spouse began abusive behavior;
  • How long into marriage did spouse's behavior change?
  • Was behavior change sudden or gradual?
  • Focus on FIRST, WORST, and LAST incidents;
  • Include both PHYSICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL abuse.
  • Was substance abuse involved?
  • What led up to the incidents?
  • Did applicant call the police? If not, why not?
  • If police were called, was abuser arrested? If not, why not?
  • Did the applicant go to a doctor or hospital?
  • Did applicant get a restraining order? If so, when?
  • Did anyone witness the violence?
  • Describe any sexual abuse.
  • Describe any verbal abuse, including insults.
  • Describe any abuse based on economic power.
  • Describe any effect on children.
  • Describe any threats by the abuser to turn the applicant into the USCIS or have them deported.
Section on good moral character
  • Lack of problems with the law.
  • Position in, contributions to community.
  • Role in the positive development of the children.
  • More extensive explanation of good moral character if needed to counterbalance any problems showing good moral character
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:49 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

I did have a consultation with a lawyer about the divorce and custody issue. My ex husband has been abusing drugs, quite heavily, which I was oblivious to. He is also in trouble with the law, from what I've been told. I am and have been the primary carer for our child.
I can prove drug use, infidelity, damage to the home, have neighbours statements confirming his behavior...
I would very much doubt he would be given custody.
I won't be taking the baby home without court approval. I have a court date for emergency temporary custody next month. I also got an order of protection for me and the baby.
Jesus Christ, I can't lose my child. I have no way in coming up with the funds for lawyers. No way.
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:52 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by hellojane
I did have a consultation with a lawyer about the divorce and custody issue. My ex husband has been abusing drugs, quite heavily, which I was oblivious to. He is also in trouble with the law, from what I've been told. I am and have been the primary carer for our child.
I can prove drug use, infidelity, damage to the home, have neighbours statements confirming his behavior...
I would very much doubt he would be given custody.
I won't be taking the baby home without court approval. I have a court date for emergency temporary custody next month. I also got an order of protection for me and the baby.
Jesus Christ, I can't lose my child. I have no way in coming up with the funds for lawyers. No way.
There are often charitable routes that offer legal help. Research Catholic Charities. Call some attornies and ask. Maybe you'll find a pro bono.

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Old May 18th 2014, 12:57 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

My number one fear is that I will get deported and be forced to leave my baby with a very unsuitable father, who has no interest in being a parent. It's safe to say that I am terrified of this entire situation.
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Old May 18th 2014, 12:58 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by hellojane
He is also in trouble with the law, from what I've been told.
Without proof, it's just hearsay - and will likely carry no weight.


I would very much doubt he would be given custody.
With respect, it isn't all about custody - there's one other factor involved: visitation. If he gets visitation rights then it's likely that he can still prevent you from removing the child from the US by demonstrating that it would be an extreme hardship for him to visit the child in the UK. Alas, "hardship" always refers to the US citizen, not to the alien. Of course this has the unintended benefit to you because it would mean that you have good reason to remain in the US.

These are complex legal issues - you must find an immigration attorney to help you with this. Borrow the money if you have to, or put it on a credit card if you have one. Or, look to a charitable source if you need to - you certainly don't need to be Catholic to avail yourself of Catholic Charities.

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Old May 18th 2014, 1:04 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

Originally Posted by ian-mstm

These are complex legal issues - you must find an immigration attorney to help you with this. Borrow the money if you have to, or put it on a credit card if you have one. Or, look to a charitable source if you need to - you certainly don't need to be Catholic to avail yourself of Catholic Charities.
In addition, a local women's shelter/refuge may be able to refer to a competent practitioner. Your (immigration) priority at this point shouldn't be about getting back to the U.K., but instead getting permanent resident status in the United States.

Do you have any family in your home country who may be able to assist financially?
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Old May 18th 2014, 2:21 pm
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Default Re: Marraige breakdown

If I have to stay in the US, and am legally able to remain here, I will stay. As long as I have my child and we are safe, where I am in the world is irrelevant.
Thank you for all of your advice and information.
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