Meryl

do they work? or are folk just kidding themselves?

I'm due to move to Dallas later in the year on an H1-b, and it's highly unlikely that my partner would ever be able to join me for anything other that a few weeks at a time. It's heartbreaking it really is.

meauxna

Good lord, there's tons of them. Hang around the marriage-based visa forum and you'll get lots of ideas. We've got several shining success examples here too. Chin up!

Meryl

lol, we are a same sex couple tho...

another bloody yank

Can you have the same sex, but with other people?

meauxna

psst, I think you can still do the same thing the hetros do to keep the looooove alive though!

tonrob

My sister and her husband live on seperate continents, she in Florida and him in London. They've been apart for getting on for 5 years now. I have no idea how they do it but they do. So I think it can work, but it's not for everybody.

Time for soul-searching... good luck...

Bluegrass Lass

Webcams are great for keeping the, errr, sizzle going.

Michelmas

They can and do work. I met my wife online in May 2001 [not a dating site I must add]. We talked off and on for a few weeks [via email, phone etc] before I had a chance to come from the UK to the US for work. We hit it off and I came over every chance I had for work and to spend time with her.
I requested a company transfer, which was approved, but ultimately fell through. In April 2003 I obtained a H1B visa and came over to the US to work. Shortly afterward, my wife moved in with me and in 2005 we got married.

It worked out very well for us but it was a very hard road which had more than a few bumps in it. We knew we could short cut it and go the marriage route for PR, but neither of us wanted to do tha, hence obtaining the H1B visa first.

All you can do is try and hope for the best.
Good luck.

Jerseygirl

Why go...why not stay in the UK?

Englishmum

I guess it depends on how strong your relationship is.

My spouse went on a new expat posting in late September last year.....from the New York City office to Singapore. He gave up his green card (or would have had to pay approx $50k per year to the IRS as Singapore has a much lower tax rate).

I'm pretty much commuting between New Jersey and Singapore, there's not much point trying to sell a property in this market and we need to keep an address here in any case whilst our son is at college. We are fortunate in that my spouse gets 6 weeks annual leave (almost unheard of in the US unless on an intra-company transfer AFAIK) and also he does sometimes travel to the US on business trips, so he was here last week.

I know loads of expat spouses (in Singapore) who do the long-distance commuting as they have older children living in the family house in the UK. Also plenty of couples do it if one of them is in the military, off-shore oil rigs, merchant seamen etc.

If your relationship is strong, it will survive - but you both need to decide what your long-term future plans and goals are; are you planning to return to the UK or trying to find a way to stay indefinitely in the US? Where does your partner fit in with these plans? How long have you been together - was it before or after your application to get a job in the States? Love will find a way and if you are meant to be together, then you and your partner will find a solution (even if sacrifices have to be made).

Good Luck.

Bob

chance of looking at the B2? I thought that might be a possibility for the short term at least.

ukannie

My H and I were together just over a year before doing 3 years of long distance. They can work, but involve a lot of trust, and both people wanting it to work.

Yes it's hard, but webcam's are amazing inventions! As my MIL kept telling me, we are lucky nowadays with the technology we have to be able to keep in touch.

pejpm1

My gf and i met in London and were together for 2 months before she had to go home. She was back in the US for a year before moving back to London. We saw eachother almost every month but it was still very hard. Its really really shit and unless you have specific future plans to be together, it wont work. i.e. if you just carry on aimlessly with vague plans to get back together at some point, it'll fail sooner or later. If you say 'ok, after 2 years I'll move home' then you might be able to make it work.

Aurelia

They do have the potential to work, but if you are feeling a strong need to cheat or otherwise break out of the hold, then you know the relationship has, in effect, ended. If the idea of not being with ANYBODY else for however long doesn't bother you, then don't worry about it. Honestly though, if you are posting in a message board with doubts, it's probably not going to work.

Ozzidoc

LOL. That was our plan Six !!! years on, we'll finally be together forever.