merrodri

Hi all. I am just about ready to send off our I129f application package and am having a last-minute anxiety attack. The thing that bugs me is whether or not we will have issues, either at uscis or at the consulate due to our age difference. My fiance is 13 years older than me. Does anyone think this will cause them to give us a hard time? Does anyone have first-hand experience? Obviously my better half and I don't care about the age thing, but I worry about whether a uscis or consular officer will care.



Edit: correcting a typo

Hotscot

13 years is an age thing?

I presume you are both of legal age.

sir_eccles

It depends.

Obviously a couple the same age, color, religion etc is on the balance of probabilities going to get less hassle than a couple where none of those match. Or that same couple with matching profiles could get hassled just to make an example of them or hit quotas or whatever. The mysteries of USCIS.

13 yrs isn't that much but I suppose it depends, is it 18 and 31 or 60 and 73?

As long as you have ample evidence that the relationship is genuine, there is unlikely to be a problem.

Noorah101

My husband and I have a 13-year age difference. I am the USC and he was the immigrant. We did the K-1 visa, and it was never a problem for us...and he's even from a culture where it's highly unusual for the woman to be older than the man. He got his K-1 visa in 2004 in Turkey (I was there at the interview too), arrived in the USA 2 weeks later, we got married 2 weeks after that...and he's now been a USC since 2009....all without our age ever being an issue at all.

No one ever verbally asked us about our ages (except to verify our birthdates, which is normal), but when we came through the POE together (at JFK), I peeked over the counter at his open case file, and saw that someone had written in bold red lettering "13 year age difference". So yes, they noticed, but it never stopped him from immigrating or becoming a USC.

Rene

Pulaski

If you're both 18 or older it won't be an issue, and 13 years surely isn't that big a deal. Legally it can't be a deal, and is no part of the visa process.

That said, it might cause a few vaguely intrusive questions if your age difference was 40+ years, ..... but compared to many of the visas processed for spouses from the Philippines, and some other SE Asian countries, a 13 year age difference is nothing.

sir_eccles

My understanding is that it is a gray area whether they can actually discriminate. I recall my lawyer telling me of a case she had dealt with where USCIS were giving the couple all sorts of hassle due to difference in color and age (I want to say the USC was a young African American and his fiance was an older Asian). So they can certainly give extra scrutiny and make you go the extra mile to prove the relationship is genuine.

Pulaski

Agreed, it might cause extra scrutiny, but shouldn't present any problem for a genuine relationship. And 13 years is surely not that remarkable?

The US Census Bureau (via Wikipedia) reports that 5.2% of marriages in the US involve a husband who is 10-14 years older than his wife, and 1% of marriages involve a wife who is 10-14 years older than her husband, so about 1 in 16 marriages total.

merrodri

Thanks for all your replies. I am 32 and he is 45, so not a scandalous difference. We are submitting plenty of evidence, so hopefully things will be okay.

Noorah101

It's especially easier since you are the younger one. It raises more eyebrows when the wife is older than the husband by many years, especially if it's from a culture where that is not the norm.

Rene

Guindalf

Absolutely not a problem. When I was 32, I was dating a girl who was 19. We got engaged and after about 5 years we split. We never thought it a problem and neither did any of our family or friends.

Unfortunately, when we split, I was 37 and she was about 12, but that's another story!

BunnyGirl

ian-mstm

I remember a story about a guy who was 40 dating a 10 year old. Someone said... don't worry - right now you're 4x older than she is; in 5 years you'll be 45 and she'll be 15 - and then you'll only be 3x older than she is; in another 15 years you'll be 60 and she'll be 30 and then you'll only be 2x older than her. Given enough time, you'll both be the same age!

Ian

mojofilter

There's a 16 year difference between my wife and I and it wasn't even mentioned during our K1 adventure..... Good Luck

merrodri

What was that bit from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High?" Matthew McConaughey's character likes high school girls because he gets older but they stay the same age.

Hotscot

Dazed and Confused.