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ok, i just have to write this all out because this is a very frustrating process,
and i need to tell this to someone. even if its to lots of people i dont know, it will be easier to explain the complications with the process to all of you without having to explain the process first. ok, so i was in taiwan last year doing a stunt show from sept '00 to jan '01 when i was 21, and i met a 22 year old south african dancer who was also doing a show out there. we fell in love, and after i left to come back out to the US, she went home to south africa, we kept in constant contact and i asked her to marry me. we decided to see eachother in person again to make the final decision on what we wanted to do, so we tried to get her a visiting visa to the US, but were denied. so i went out to South Africa to see her and lived in a caravan in her parents back yard for a month in may, we had a blast, and decided to still get married, then i moved from Connecticut to Los Angeles in june. i quickly landed a job with my uncle and found an apartment for 500/mo if anyone else knows LA and its cost of living they know this is a steal. meanwhile my fiance Pamela decides to try and make more money by going back to taiwan and doing another 4 month contract which is where she is right now. unfortunately, the conditions they have been forced to live in are revolting, and most of the money she is making is going toward eating. and given where she is, we have to try to find a way to get her to taipei so she can have her fingerprints taken at the south african embassy so she can get her police records from south africa and also we have to go through the process of getting a police report from the UK where she lived for 2 years, except the taiwan mail system seems to swallow up about 30%of all the letters i have sent to her, so were hoping she will even get the order forms. she is going to be able to save enough money for a flight to the US when we are approved, and thats it. south african money is worth about five times less than the dollar, so she isnt making a lot of money seeing as we need to use US currency for pretty much evreything. weve decided to have 2 weddings, one in south africa first, then we do the DCF filing, and after she is approved we will have another wedding in CT, so with all of that travelling and multiple weddings and everything, its going to cost me a pretty penny. but then theres the whole I-864 thing, and ive been in college until 1999 so i am going to be showing a pitiful level of income for those years, not to mention that the only year i wasnt in school i was making most of my money overseas in taiwan which wont show up, or waiting tables at very nice restaurants, but im afraid that the tips will not be adequitly reflected on my taxes so that wont help either. so ive resigned myself to needing a co-sponsor but im not sure where to look because my family isnt sure im doing the right thing, i understand their position as they have never met this girl, but there are no doubts in my mind. but im afraid if i ask my parents for help they will say no, and then i will have to find help elsewhere, (which i can do from one of my friends in the army) but it will destroy my relations with my parents. my parents are of the "we cant tell you how to run your life" mindset, which by no means opposes my decision, but certainly doesnt offer any support. and of course i needed to move from CT to one of the only states where the cost of living is MORE EXPENSIVE, so that doesnt help me very much in that respect. and last night pamela and i had a little fight over when the wedding should be, because of time restrictions and everything, but even though the fight lasted about 3 minutes, it was still one of the very first fights weve had at all and i can tell is directly being caused by the stress we are both having to go through. im glad i dont have to worry about going through the CSC and dealing with all of the INS hassle, but it would be nice to have a stroke of luck financially instead of trying to accomplish all of this by the skin of our teeth. anyway, this is just me ranting, and im hoping everything will work out, if it doesnt im sure youll hear more from me..heh heh anyone who was bored enough to listen to me complain can feel free to tell me im a moron or undermine my pathetic problems with more grand problems of their own, its a good way to vent, oh, and support is welcome too i guess... jon |
Honestly, after reading that my own problems seem trivial now. Thanks.
Mike Vaspecad1 wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > |
Are you for real ? Right about in the middle, I got the feeling that the whole thing
is made up. It is like going off to Timbuktoo and falling in love with a Camel. Then trying to accommodate the niece of the camel owner into a K-1 at the US consulate in Mali, with the tacit understanding that the uncle would throw the camel in as the dowry. There is the problem of having to find suitable passage for the camel, get the camel a job at Luxor ( the big hotel with the pyramid in Vegas) - no EAD or SSN required, by the way. Repost as a serial with specific chapters related to the steps of I-129F, NoA1, RFI, NoA2, Consulate, Travel, POE, Marriage, AoS etc.. |
well mike, im glad i could put things in perspective for ya. i hope everything works
out well for you! ive decided that i have to look at my situation positively; id rather be jumping through hoops and swimming through seas of red tape to be with my girl, than be searching for her all over again. see? ranting helps. jon |
ahh yes it is exactly like the camel thing ........no..... wait.....that doesnt seem
right.. actually, if i was to follow traditional south african cultural marital practice, I would have had to give her father some cattle in exchange for her hand in marriage, now what i want to know is how these cultures can compare cattle to women enough to think its an even trade, or even camels for that matter. ok, well i guess the camel would be an even trade, but just because vegas is so lucrative. .....nevermind |
Vaspecad1 wrote:
> > > > > Well, frankly, it's probably a compliment to be traded for cattle in some countries, as they may be valued more highly than the women, to my observation. I mean, after all, in the US our pay is still about $.70 to the male $1 most places.... ; ) Alvena -- I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice; this is my personal opinion, posted for the purpose of discussion only. --- K-1 FAQ: http://www.k1faq.com Jonathan's K-1 pages: http://pages.prodigy.net/alixtcat/immigrat.htm Doc Steen's Marriage Visa Information Pages: http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm |
gosh jon, ummmm... i guess all that i could say is that if it's meant to be, it will
come. time is weird. let time run its course. if you have to wait for her to return to her homeland from her 4 month stanza of work, that may just have to do. there is no quick fix in the immigration process and another 4 months of waiting for her to return home might not be as large of a waiting period in the whole scope of things. that's about all i have to say about that. trust god, if you believe in him. shel |
Vaspecad1 wrote:
> > > > > > What job pays women 70 percent for the same job with the same qualifications as a male?? |
Michael Voight wrote:
> > For your intellectual enhancement: http://www.dol.gov/dol/wb/public/wb_pubs/2000.htm http://www.legal-link.com/library/ar...rningsGap.html http://www.aflcio.org/women/a_z.htm http://www.aflcio.org/women/eqp_stat.htm http://www.payequity.net/factsheet/factsheet.htm http://www.cnn.com/US/9804/03/equal.pay.day/ alvena |
Alvena Ferreira wrote:
> > [usenetquote2]> > What job pays women 70 percent for the same job with the same qualifications as a[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > male??[/usenetquote2] > > > > > > That doesn't answer my question.. For example... If I am a CSE IV at Cisco with 13 years experience, I would expect my salary to be the same as a women with the same skills, educaton, and experience. If I am an entry level employee at McDonalds, I would expect my pay to be the same as a women with equal experience. Do you disagree? Michael |
Michael Voight wrote:
> > > > > > Michael, I'm not saying that it occurs everywhere, but here, for instance is an example: --- Women win $5m in discrimination case Texaco will pay $US3.1 million ($A5 million) to 186 female employees in the largest discrimination settlement ever reached with the US Labor Department, officials said today. The department found that women executives and professionals had been systematically underpaid by the US oil giant relative to their male counterparts. ``This should be a wakeup call for all federal contractors to voluntarily audit themselves to resolve these issues. They should not wait to be scheduled for a review by the Labour Department,'' said Labor Secretary Alexis Herman. ``Our glass ceiling review found that women in mid-level positions throughout the company were underpaid as a matter of course for years,'' she said. ``We urge other companies to work with the Department of Labour as Texaco did to ensure that there is no discrimination in pay or advancement,'' said Assistant Secretary Bernard Anderson, who heads the agency's Employment Standards Administration. The 186 women found to have been underpaid at Texaco represent two per cent of the 9,000 women employed by Texaco in the United States. Texaco's total work force in the United States is 19,800. The settlement was to include $US2.2 million ($A3.55 million) in back pay and interest, $US816,000 ($A1,316,779) in raises already given and an additional $US84,000 ($A135,550) in salary increases. The agreement covers women employed between 1993 and 1996 in managerial and support positions at Texaco's headquarters in White Plains, New York, and in offices in seven other cities across the United States. AFP Published: Thu Jan 7 07:42:05 EST 1999 --- Because you are a man, you may not be as aware of this problem as I am, as a woman. However, a $5M settlement in a discrimination case equivocally documents the likelihood that this does happen. alvena |
Alvena Ferreira wrote:
> > [usenetquote2]> > That doesn't answer my question.. For example... If I am a CSE IV at Cisco with[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > 13 years experience, I would expect my salary to be the same as a women with the[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > same skills, educaton, and experience. If I am an entry level employee at[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > McDonalds, I would expect my pay to be the same as a women with equal experience.[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > Do you disagree?[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2] > > > The 63-70 percent figures are mostly cause by thing other than discrimination in similar jobs. It is based on the average full time wage overall. So, if a smaller percentage of women than men chose to not become networking engineers, then this lack of high wage employment will bring the average salary of women lower than men's. Michael |
Welcome back Michael. I knew you couldn't leave us for long! I'm not going to get
into this debate - there's obviously discrimination in many places and there are obviously career choices made that both effect the bottom line numbers. I much prefer the debate on when a stay-at-home mom is going to get the estimated $1million it costs in lost salary. Particuarly Deana's $1million. Checks can be made out to ... Andy. -- I'm not really here - it's just your warped imagination. > [usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > Well, frankly, it's probably a compliment to be traded for cattle in some[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > countries, as they may be valued more highly than the women, to my observation. I[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > mean, after all, in the US our pay is still about $.70 to the male $1 most[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > places.... ; ) Alvena[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2] > > > |
I have to agree with Michael. (who said that?) It may be that women tend to gravitate
towards lower paying jobs due to various reasons I won't get into. But for the same job, the same qualifications, men and women get paid the same. Even at MacDonald's. Don't believe me, go to any MacDonald's and ask the people what they earn. They all earn at or just above minimum wage, male or female. For professional jobs, once again, they all earn the same with the same qualifications. Now that many jobs offer maternity and paternity leave, the reasons for paying women less have dwindled and so have the jobs that offer more to men than women. It used to happen a lot. Now it really happens very little. In this day and age, if a women finds out she is paid less than her male counterpart, she files a lawsuit and never has to work again. Companies know this and are VERY careful that there is no disparity between salaries of men and women in their company. If you are a woman and you feel you are being given 70% compared to your male counterpart, see an attorney. Either you will get it straightened out or you will at least find out that your findings were false and the male(s) in question were indeed more highly qualified. (Qualifications can be a strange bird. Perhaps out of past experience the owner of the company thinks that males are more qualified for a certain type of position. It is up to the employer to set the qualifications and pay grade. Again, if you feel you really have a case, file a lawsuit and never work again. But don't sing that tired old song, based upon antiquated data. -- > Steen's Visa Pages http://www.mindspring.com/~docsteen/...o/visainfo.htm Newsgroup FAQ http://www.k1faq.com Immigration and Naturalization Service http://www.ins.usdoj.gov {I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. For reliable legal advice, please consult with a professional immigration attorney.} > [usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > Michael Voight wrote:[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > > What job pays women 70 percent for the same job with the same qualifications as[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > > a male??[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > For your intellectual enhancement:[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > http://www.dol.gov/dol/wb/public/wb_pubs/2000.htm[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> >[/usenetquote2] [usenetquote2]> > http://www.legal-link.com/library/ar...rningsGap.html[/usenetquote2] > > > > > > > > > > > > |
Same prob in England, where a recent study showed women earning around 80% of what their male counterparts made. The problem seemed to be worst in higher paying jobs where the company is less likely to have a rigidly defined pay scale.
As for the initial big rant...yeah, that made my own problems seem a little more trivial, so thanks! In our case the actual K1 visa petition looks to be reasonably clear cut without too many complications. Basically, our only wrinkle is we need a co-sponsor, but she has agreed and shows no sign of changing her mind. The problem here is I have been trying to get a divorce from my bitter, twisted, long seperated-from wife, since Jan.31,01. It is Aug.13, and I don't even have the friggin Decree Nisi, nevermind the Decree Absolute. Every single stage of the divorce process has been fraught with delays after delays. I have been thinking it is 2-2.5 months away for at least the last 3 months. I just got back from the US, only to find the court has STILL not set a date for the decree nisi. I know our delays are trivial compared to what some people are going through, but man, this is so ****ing frustrating it makes me want to scream. We are waiting and waiting, just so we can then start waiting some more on TSC. -Harry |
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