danp

I like this response. Very true!!

Dan

Jan Andersson

Ray wrote:
    >
    > > Ian, you know what I mean.. smile smile..
    >
    > Oh!! Danp ..you are young ..Human emotions is responsible for all the
    > happiness AND sadness is this world...I actually agree with you ..But we
    > can't control the emotion of others... YET..


You will all be assimilated.
Resistance is futile.

    :)

Jan

katesuitersback

Amen!! I knew Corey just 9 months before I moved here and almost two months after that, we were married. We went through an extremely tough time financially early on in our marriage, but it made us a better team. It took us a few months more to get used to each other's quirks, but now, two years later, we understand how to talk to each other without it ending up as a war. Ironically, we fought more while I was still in the UK than we ever did since I've been here. Sometimes separation can be the ruin of an otherwise harmonious relationship.

Kate. xxx

Ray

Nice to see you back Katie...

katesuitersback

Why, thank you kind sir!!!

Kate. xxx

Bluegrass Lass

Here, here, Noorah! I agree totally with you!

Danp...why the issue with people talking admiringly/endearingly of their spouses? I love my husband very much, and have no problem with calling him hubby, husband, love, or lover. What difference does it make what I call him, he's still my best friend, companion, partner, and lover. I think of him as being my lifemate. Will I end up calling him a variety of cuss words in a few years, well most likely yes..but hopefully not in response to the marriage breaking up just a heated argument.

Failed marriages can occur whether or not the couple is intercultural or not. Yes, I agree that is important to be realistic, but at the same time, one must follow their heart. I met my husband while studying overseas. My family thought I was nuts to live in another country for 4 months where I knew no one. But my heart told me that this is what I needed to do. If I hadn't followed my heart, and decided to play it safe, I never would have met my husband and have the relationship we do today.

Will I be just as happy with him 2, 5, 10 or 20 years from now?? I have no idea, but it's worth taking the chance.

"No regrets" is a good life motto.

Cheers,
Jamie

nettlebed

And even terms like "Ratbag" can be affectionate, too...
And "If only I had..." are among the saddest words in the language.

Rete

I'm wondering if the wife is an immigrant to the US and that is why he is lurking here and his first post is a judgmental one no less?

Wintersong

I would like to refer you to the "What annoys you..." thread in TIO

And I've only been married 6 weeks

ian-mstm

Bravo! Well said. Karma coming your way.


I'm reminded of Robert Frost's excellent poem, "The Road Not Taken"

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Like you, I did not want regrets for things not done, or chances not taken. Life is an adventure... a journey.

Ian

Noorah101

Exactly! I didn't have to find someone who lives in another country...but I knew that if I didn't pursue what I felt for Sadegh, I'd always wonder how it would have turned out, and I knew I couldn't live with myself for not finding out. As it turned out, it was one of the best chances I ever took. I wouldn't change it for a second!

Rene

Sophie T

"Noorah101" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected] m...
    >> Bravo! Well said. Karma coming your way.
    >> I'm reminded of Robert Frost's excellent poem, "The Road Not Taken"
    >> Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    >> And sorry I could not travel both
    >> And be one traveler, long I stood
    >> And looked down one as far as I could
    >> To where it bent in the undergrowth;
    >> Then took the other, as just as fair,
    >> And having perhaps the better claim,
    >> Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
    >> Though as for that the passing there
    >> Had worn them really about the same,
    >> And both that morning equally lay
    >> In leaves no step had trodden black.
    >> Oh, I kept the first for another day!
    >> Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    >> I doubted if I should ever come back.
    >> I shall be telling this with a sigh
    >> Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    >> Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
    >> I took the one less traveled by,
    >> And that has made all the difference.
    >> Like you, I did not want regrets for things not done, or chances not
    >> taken. Life is an adventure... a journey.
    >> Ian
    > Exactly! I didn't have to find someone who lives in another
    > country...but I knew that if I didn't pursue what I felt for Sadegh, I'd
    > always wonder how it would have turned out, and I knew I couldn't live
    > with myself for not finding out. As it turned out, it was one of the
    > best chances I ever took. I wouldn't change it for a second! :D
    > Rene

This is totally OT, but I just wanted to comment that I really enjoy reading
what you post, Rene. You and Sadegh seem so happy...and I mean a genuine
happy... It's very uplifting. :-)

Sophie

brownin

I have done just that. My partner and I have been together for 4 years, it is only now that we are putting in the paper work to get married (although we've been engaged for a year). It hasn't been easy, not to mention expensive, but it has made us stronger as a couple. I am not saying that this is the best thing for everyone, but it lets you know each other so much better, it also (as the non USC) sets a better foundation for you to start a fresh life in a new place. Visits between us whether not short either (but we were students, so we had more time off).
I think that Damp is right, if more people cooled down and waited a while then they would give themselves a real go at marriage, rather than a dry run.

Noorah101

Awww, Sophie, thank you!! You really made my day today!

Rene

Dimsie

You are making a rather offensive and inaccurate generalisation here, Dan.
Not all of us are wet behind the ears. I had an "on-line marriage" a year ago.
I'd previously had a very happy partnership of 33 years ending in the death of my partner. I knew the risks and gambles I was taking in coming to the USA. I'm struggling at times with the culture shock and after effects - but none of my struggles involve my feelings for my husband - only his country and the way of life.

Some of us know ourselves sufficiently well, and have experience of people and relationships sufficient to safely guide our choices of partner.