Jerseygirl

At a certain age the judge may also take into account what the child wishes to do.

HalenaBoyd

Very true and I think even at her age now what she would want would carry weight. Ultimately the courts are supposed to prioritise the child's welfare and her being with me abroad would certainly be where she is safest and happiest but it's good to know that should all this take longer than I had hoped I can just take her when she is 16 without court or permission from the father

S Folinsky

A long time ago I had a friend who worked at the Los Angeles County Department of Adoptions (LA County has more people than many countries e.g. twice that of Ireland). On stepchild adoptions California law required an attempt by the relevant Social Service Agency to obtain voluntary relinquishment. Failing that, then go to Superior Court for appropriate order. Here’s the kicker, dad had to be legally served with “process” which requires an extensive attempt to locate dad. My friend noted that every time she dealt with a circumstance such as yours, dad was located and contacted by the Department. Most often they were happy to relinquish especially given that they would be stripped by the Court.

The above experience informs my suggestion. This is not advice other than something you might consider speaking about with the solicitor.

HalenaBoyd

Very interesting! In my case I have another factor and that is his mother. He had a slow mental decline just before, during and after the birth of our daughter which led to him being sectioned under the mental health act, put on medication and time spent in a mental health facility. He was also involved in a incident but was deemed unfit to plead so acquitted. I found this out in the local news however his mother would always represent him, speak on his behalf and ensure he does what she thinks is best therefore if she were to get knowledge of me leaving, she would ensure he does all in his power to stop me. Locating him is one thing but that would lead to her creating more problems unfortunately.

S Folinsky

I don’t know UK law. Question : does he have to be notified of an application for an arrangement order?

HalenaBoyd

That's what I wondered but I guess we would have to be seen to be trying to find him. Maybe whoever works for the courts would locate him on my behalf? Not too sure.

Jerseygirl

I think that’s a job for your solicitor if you know how to contact him. If not you have to show that you have tried your best ..ie ad in newspaper etc. As already mentioned you really need to see a solicitor about this matter.

scrubbedexpat099

My recollection is that yes you do but I doubt that would specifically require you notifying his Mother.

HalenaBoyd

I shall be getting some legal advice on this, just hate that it will cost me thousands when I need to save towards moving to the states ☹

Jerseygirl

So far no one replying to your posts has legal experience in the UK on such matters. I am afraid you need to bite the bullet and talk to someone who is legally qualified.

scrubbedexpat099

In your case just a cost of the move.

HalenaBoyd

If they attempt to find him at one of his last known addresses, she probably still resides there and once she knows what I want to do she will do all she can to stop me but the courts would no doubt fall in my favour 🤞🏻

HalenaBoyd

Very true

lansbury

Find a local lawyer on the Reunite International list https://www.reunite.org/lawyers-listings. Tell them you need to get permission to remove a child from the jurisdiction of the UK courts to live in the US. They can tell you what is involved and the cost. All the lawyers on their list know the requirements of the Child Abduction Act.

scrubbedexpat099

I t would usually be the first thing to do, write to him at his last known address.