goya0002

Just hate to admitt it. But the truth is that you hear all sorts of things when you call up BCIS. I don't know if they are just not getting the right information to the agents answering the phone or they just don't know what is going on.

I found that information on the forum is much more accurate than with BCIS. Specially when it comes to timelines that they are working on.

If I call up NSC the only answer I get right now is that we are working on such and such date and until we have reached your date and gone beyond it - there is nothing we can do.

And they don't want to hear anything about people that I'm aware of that have been approved past the date they are talking to me about.

So, I would really be carefull about taking their word and then being upset with VSC posters on this forum. I don't see why any of them would have to lie.

I think you are just frustrated like the rest of us. These last two weeks have been the hardest on me; as I know that I'm up to have a decision any day now. But since it has not come in; this is all I think about.

Its just the way it is when we are waiting for our love and we need BCIS' permission to have them in our lives; atleast if we want to live in the US.

Rohit

Christa

I know this is a visa help newsgroup. But why is there suddenly a pain of
"coming home and nobody is home", just because a fiancée petition was filed.
What were you guys doing before you decided to get married. Was this a big
black hole and now it's even bigger? Sorry, I don't understand why people
don't make good use of this time apart. You never get such a chance again to
really get to know your future spouse as in instant messenger chats. Discuss
anything that comes to mind, and you won't get surprised later. "Oh, she was
under the assumption I was going to do the cooking - how did she get that
idea"? How about talking how to raise children, what kind of house to buy or
where to move to - anything ...

Good luck.


"Harry Sela" wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

    > Those of you who applied for a K1 visa we all
    > experience the same pain of knowing that our love one is so far away
    > and the only thing we can do is wait. With every phone call hearing
    > our fiance(e) asking "How much longer?" The pain of coming home alone
    > and no one is at home. I think applying for a fiance(e) visa could
    > make your love for your fiance(e) grow stronger, but some point it can
    > destroy a relationship. I'm sure we've all argued at one point about
    > this visa with our fiance(e). Damn the wait sucks. It's a horrible
    > feeling not being able to do anything until you get the green light.
    > We are actually at the mercy of BCIS and if they say "Jump" I guess we
    > should ask "How high". It's a monoploy and we can't simply say "I'll
    > take my papers elsewhere".
    > Please if you are posting fake approvals please stop it. It hurts
    > those of us who waiting here patiently.
    > In closing I leave a kiss for a kiss to my fiancee

Scout

Christa.....................huh? Forced separation by a government and having to seek permission to marry when you are a responsible adult tends to make people a little cranky about being separated. I have spent enough time apart tyvm and I don't need you telling me how to best make use of my time.

Cheers,

Leslie

Pimpbot

Ever since starting this process, I have never put much hope in what various people post regarding what some joe smo at the service centre's just said on the phone. It would appear they change their tune depending on which way the wind is blowing.

jeffreyhy

Harry,

"Just last week there was a guy who said he received his 2nd NOA in 15 days from VSC and I wrote him back and said if he got his 2nd NOA in 15 days the world is going mad and he very quickly changed to his 1st NOA."

There's your answer, Harry. Some people make mistakes. Mis-information comes as frequently from usenet and newsgroup posters as it does from BCIS employees. And for the same reasons - sometimes people make mistakes (and sometimes they just haven't yet learned what they're talking about). It's part of the breed.

Regards, JEff

Mike_jones

    >"Christa" wrote
    > I know this is a visa help newsgroup. But why is there suddenly a pain of
    > "coming home and nobody is home", just because a fiancée petition was
filed.

Christa,

Your comment made me chuckle.
It has to do with the little chemical releases cause by extreme emotion.
Those endorphins or whatever are exactly like a drug and you can get hooked
on them. More misery, more drug. It gets to the point where one doesn't feel
"right" unless they are plunged into the blackest depths of misery.

In addition, there is a revolving competition to attract attention by being
the *most* miserable, the most worthy of sympathy and hand holding. You
can't enter this contest until you have submitted a petition. You have 5
opportunities to enter, Petition, Visa Application, EAD Application, AOS,
and Lifting of Conditions.

I personally compensated for all this by splitting off some personalities.
When I became difficult, I just launched a new personality to act it out. I
have done this six (6) times. What little is left of me is very well
adjusted.

Mike
--
just pretend
you're in a movie
************************
http://www.txdirect.net/users/mike38/faq_index.htm
http://www.txdirect.net/users/mike38/k1faq.htm

cindyabs

Harry,
I can empathize with your frustration and your sadness of being part. Imagine how it is being married and being in the same situation?! It's not fun either. It's hard on all of us. Thankfully we do have this group of people who understand because some way or another we're all walking a mile in each others' shoes.......

goya0002

I agree with you Leslie. I chat quite a bit with my love...but that does not come close to being with her. Its not that I can use that time to get to know her; its that I rather have that time with her and get to know her more one on one.

The fact that the US government has this much control over our lives is really not a good thing. We promise criminals a speedy and just system; can't that apply to us everyday regular decent folks too? Shouldn't we get treated at least as well (if not better) than criminals?

Rohit

Tiff

Let me chime in on the agreement of this as well. I have spent a year and a half chatting via instant messanger and although we have been extremely lucky and have been able to spend several weeks together as well it does not diminish the fact I would much rather be able to talk to him face to face then on yahoo voice chat.

We have discussed, houses, children, marriage, finances, cars, vacations, health and the list goes on and on. Now we would like to be able to kiss each other goodnight and good morning and give each other a hug is that such a bad thing?????

ccalgreen

Wow, it almost seems this thread has generated more timeline postings than Dave Hollis' site http://www.davehollis.com/k1/list.php or the Marriage Based Visa Timeline board http://www.marriagebasedvisas.org/ !

Personally, it seemed I was reeling every week because another step had been completed, and Kate and I were running round like headless chickens trying to get all the paperwork in! The longest wait I had was once the interview had actually been scheduled!

CLEM

ccalgreen

Here here!!

goya0002

Wow, I'm a bit jealous. Everything for you was done in 2 and 1/2 months...I can't believe how lucky you guys are at VSC. Although I appreciate that you don't have to wait...I wish the people at BCIS would find a way to balance out the pain they are causing. It is very one sided right now.

I'm still happy for you. Coz, I don't think anyone should have to wait for this. Its a curse and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Rohit

goya0002

I'll put it this way and let that be the end of it. Its not the pain of coming home to no one when there is no one there; its the pain of coming home to no one when there could be someone there. When we have already found that certain someone.

Rohit

ccalgreen

Yes, Rohit, I'd be the first to admit that we were lucky when it came to the actual processing, when I consider cases like yours - and I wish you the best of luck.

However, I don't want people to think that we just decided, oh let's get married, and shoved in an application and 2.5 months later that was that. Kate and I have been "going out" for 7 years, all the time wondering when the time would be right for us to go for it.

I guess I seriously started looking at my options about 4 or 5 years ago while I was still at university, talking to my tutors and my colleagues what might be the best way to get over to the U.S. on an employment visa. It was like a blind alley trying to get something that way. We had decided to get together after we finished uni, but for me that meant waiting a couple of years more after I graduated for Kate as she was a year younger, and went on to do a 1-year masters. I would have been comfortable moving over if someone had offered me a job, but nothing came from it, because in my field, no-one was looking to employ from abroad, despite a recognized skills shortage. The only way I could convince an employer to hire me was if they didn't have to muddy their hands with an H-1B or an L-1. I've been at my current company for over 2 years now, and on day 1 I told them one of the reasons I joined them was because I was interested in their American operations. During that time I watched others get seconded out there and pick up valuable experience that I would also need to find a permanent job there. In the end, the waiting was too much, and I feel like I'd failed to get a job in America on my own merits, despite being told that I had more than enough of the right qualifications, and THAT is when we decided to go for a fiance visa. It was our last resort, and it just so happened that it coincided with the time of our lives that we felt it was right for both of us to get married (I always said I wanted to be married at 25, but I never dreamed it would pan out the way it did).

So, while I totally sympathise with the anguish of feeling you've done all you can and the ball's in someone else's court, just remember it's not only the BCIS who can screw things up for you.

While you can't be with the one you love, look at things differently and take advantage of the time you have left apart, as Christa said. I have a month until I leave, and it's the scariest thing I've ever done in my life, leaving everything behind me. I'm trying to make sure that everything is perfectly in place before I go, and that I make the most of the remainder of the time I have living in the same country as my family, my friends and everything I know bar my fiancee.

CLEM

ccalgreen

Isn't that the truth! It's a worse situation than being single (or attached, depending on how bad your relationship is!)

CLEM