deepsouthatlangta

Hello, not sure if I am posting this in the right place but here goes. I would like some help form my expats My story I will try and keep it brief, as possible, I have been living an working in US for 8 years predominantly in Atlanta, 5 years, Gainesville Florida, and Texas. Still struggling like hell fitting into the work life, in a range of different jobs. I still cannot believe I am finding it so hard to adjust to the dog eat dog attitude in the workplace! I get told not to be assertive in the workplace and got fired for being assertive when I did with good intentions for the company as I was working remotely for a company believe it or not, working in medical insurance. I find the people tend to want o chop my legs and arms off so to speak at work, and this is called being competative. But when I do it back the american locals go and run to the boss and get me into trouble, and I become the problem. I am sensitive by nature, but find it hard to protect yourself here as they do not like you setting personal boundaries....has anyone else experienced this? Or being told that being assertive is not business friendly? I am also finding it hard to politically fit in the workplace, ad the British suck at politics but are good at fixing things! Any suggestions so I can blend in and play a better political game, I am quite a deep person and find it hard to be shallow and talk about the weather, foods! lol Anyhoo any suggestions how to politically fit in and keep a job for over a year. Any answers to this conundrum would be much appreciated....Thanks in advance.

Jerseygirl

Hi there and welcome to BE.

As your post contains quite a lot of detail I am moving it over to one of the US forums.

deepsouthatlangta

Thank you Jersey Girl!

mamasue

I've been in GA almost 7 years now.....
I've made it a personal policy never to discuss politics or religion... that's how I get by.
My politics and religion views don't fit in with the Republican bible-bashers around me....
So I talk about the weather and stuff.

Guindalf

I've survived nearly 26 years in GA without discussing politics! Until I got my citizenship a couple of years ago, I was always able to just say "I can't vote so I've got no opinion" and they would leave me alone.

Speedwell

No, seriously, the most polite way to participate while simultaneously opting out is to generate an apparently sincere statement with which no side can possibly disagree without looking like a bunch of dickheads.

I encapsulate my own political philosophy in the extremely jejune statement, "Of course societies should have mechanisms to preserve the maximum well-being of all its members; that's what a society is FOR." Liberals then go away believing I think the government should interfere in everything... conservatives go away believing that I agree that favoring the "most productive" benefits society in general... libertarians go away believing that I agree that the government should interfere only when it can do no harm.

(Edit: I'm a Yank. I'm used to this stuff. )

deepsouthatlangta

Thanks speedwell, Guindalf and Mamasue, thanks for the quick reply I appreciate your input, very useful comments. What I should have mentioned is that I am a from the North and from Manchester, and 6 foot 5 inch to boot. I feel that what is the best stratergy to not get bullied here in the US, coz when I stand up for my self they cannot handle it give it out so to speak, when I give it back they cannot handle it and run a way and complain to boss and get me into more trouble. I miss the days when I could drop my bombs in UK at work and go home relatively unscathed and collect my cash. It does not seem that way here.....I think it is the dog eat dog culture which makes many of the environments hostile. I am not here to cause trouble I just want to go to work collect my money and go home. I know branding yourself is important here, and blending in, and I know it is important to pick your battles. I am white male and been on the receiving end of a lot of reverse racism for political gain for the other person. Reverse racism is on the rise, the only difference is that the whites do not say anything, so very little is done about it......I really miss merit system of UK and OZ as I would probably get to keep my job longer......can anyone relate to this? Regards

Speedwell

Relate to it? This Yank doesn't even understand what you mean by it. I don't expect to be treated in any way that doesn't further the aims, policies, and culture of the company I work for. I was pleasantly surprised when my old boss (based in the UK) found a new job for me in another group within the company when the system I supported moved to a vendor-support model. Most of my friends outside the company, when I described the lengths he went to, were shocked.

markwm

I've not found it to be as you describe at all. Perhaps that's because LA is a lot more laid back than most places though there is still some dog-eat-dog and you need to hustle to make a buck, so to speak. However, I work with a very mixed bag of people from all sorts of cultures and backgrounds and, generally speaking, we all get along.

BTW, there is a difference between asserting yourself and coming across as aggressive and rude. If you know people react to you in that way then change how you react to them - don't give them a reason to complain about you. That isn't to say you can't stand your ground - you just have to be more politic about it.

Fitting in to a new culture is never easy or straightforward but you can't expect them to adapt to you - why should they? It takes time and we all make mistakes along the way. As long as you learn from them...

Good luck, whatever you do.

civilservant

Hello from Commerce, GA (as of last wednesday)

Its a strange part of the world...

Pulaski

As a fellow 6'5" northerner (Sheffield) transplanted to somewhere not so far from you I can follow some of the what you're saying, but honestly I found the office politics similarly aggravating and mystifying when I worked in London. One colleague in London, when I was on a very small team, proved especially difficult, and our manager was unhelpful, and his idea of helping an impossible work situation was to "learn to live with it". That advice came the day before his summer holiday, so while he was gone I went and found another job, and resigned shortly after he returned.

I try to fit in with those I work with, and rarely expect anyone to have much interest in matters "from home" (UK). So chat about any non-US sports is completely out, and I avoid politics until I get a grasp of others leanings, and still keep it fairly moderate. Occasionally, and sparingly I share alternative ways to do/ look at things, but those might be from Britain, but as likely because I have different training and experience. I try to keep up with local news, including local and nationally known sports teams, and things that my colleagues are interested in. A current colleague is a little league baseball coach, so I'll chat with him about his team. I keep an eye on guns and the hunting season because one colleague is an avid hunter, two others frequent the range for shooting, and others I talk with about aspects of guitar players and rock bands (coming from the same city as Def Leppard buys a little credibility there. )

I have generally had good colleagues to work with, and have tried to get along with most of them, and generally minimize contact with others who are a bit cranky or unpredictable. I try and stay right out of matters of race, "diversity", and affirmative action, but they are omnipresent issues across America (arguably more so in the area where you and I live), so I play along, because there is nothing I can do to change the issues or change my "personal demographic". I have always hired the BEST person for the job, and I've never been pressured to do otherwise, but out of about twenty or so hires over the past four years I have found "the best" to include a very good mix of ethnicities of both genders. I just hate the politics of that.

I am not sure what you mean about "dropping bombs" as that doesn't sound good in any office workplace.

Generally speaking I try to play the hand I have, and to take roles and participate in projects that I have experience in and can make a positive contribution to. It's not easy, but though certainly different, I honestly don't find it any more difficult that working in London.

SultanOfSwing

It must be the industry I'm in - all I have ever worked for in the US are landscapers - but I have not noticed any 'dog eat dog' type stuff. A few of the sales type people have been kind of snakeish and, well you know the type, but those people also didn't tend to last long at either company I have worked for.

I have never got into trouble over assertiveness. In the first company it was usually ignored because of the owner's stubbornness, but at the same time, I survived many rounds of layoffs over the six years I was there to be one of only three office employees left where once there were over thirty. Where I am now, my assertiveness has gained me the respect and trust of the owner, increased responsibility without question that I could handle it when the CFO quit unexpectedly and a pretty bloody nice raise.

I keep my mouth shut about politics, that's easy to do. I know enough about the Bears and Packers to hold a conversation about sport if necessary but most of the time we talk about recreation or our children anyway. I tried to keep my music quiet until someone found out about it so I get the occasional question about where I'm playing and stuff.

In general, I like working at this company maybe even a bit more than I enjoyed the civil service back home. The work is easy and there's enough to keep me busy every day and I have the potential to move up the ladder as well, never mind the fact that I'm making over twice what I did back home.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time where you are deepsouthga. There has to be somewhere by you that has a better work environment. Are you working for a 'big corporation' type place, or a smaller privately owned company? Anecdotally, from what I've read, I have a better time than many at work because I work for a small (though we do work in multiple states) privately owned company, rather than as part of 'corporate America'.

mamasue

Maybe you're standing up for yourself on the wrong issues? I'm a great believer in 'pick your battles'.
You're from Manchester.....don't you find everyone wants to talk about Man. United.....how good Beckam is, and banal stuff like that?
I get that quite often.... and I don't even like football! (I refuse to call it soccer!)
I stopped watching when George Best stopped playing... ancient history to most people!

markwm

There's a guy here who thinks I support Tottingham Forest. I can't be asked to put him right and he'd probably forget anyway. Does make me laugh.

mamasue

He probably watches WIMBLETON tennis too!!