Geordie George

I really understand where you're coming from when you say that you feel like you don't know where your life is going. I feel like that a lot of the time too - and I like to think that I'm one of the more optomistic types who feels in control of their own life. I find that a lot of soul-searching and questioning and requestioning what's important to me helps in that regard. By going through that process, I can come to a decision. And, in future, when I question that decision (which I know I will), I can be confident that it was arrived at well and I can take comfort from the process that led me to this point. It helps me feel in control. (I am a complete control freak. )

I just wanted to say that you're certainly not alone in feeling that and, while there's no great cure to it, there are things you can do to help it feel better.

karni31

I miss home too..am new to this forum but reading all these threads..I feel the same way. Moved over to Sydney mid February with my Australian fiance. He wont go back home to Ireland with me so feel like am trapped here.

lisaloo

This forum will help you to feel less trapped and more like your a realistic person with thoughts and feelings and hopefully like me peoples comments and experiences will help to pull you through and make a decision on your life...

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.....talk it really does help, like the wine and food does....well in my case anyway....

karni31

Lisa, how long have you felt like this? I do feel I havent given it a proper chance after only 4 months...I was here before, in Sydney for a year on a working holiday...had a great time..but coming back here ''for good'' is a different mind-set altogether..Did you feel this way early on or only after time as I know you have been here 17 months

lisaloo

I have always felt an outsider and not at home here a little like an extended holiday. We decided to build to help matters which took my mind off it a little but it was always there and over the last 4 months its got much worse where i feel a pain in my stomach most days and a pining for home. I daydream about walking around the village, the countryside anything really. I just feel like i want to go home and would be my happy normal self if i knew i were...but....part of me feels frightened and like i'm not trying hard enough or giving it a really good go....but when you feel this way its so hard and i have to say to myself at night wake up tomorrow and try for the kids...but should i be living like this.....but also the thought of going home scares me to because it wouldnt be the same, my house has gone, car, where would we end up etc.....i've never been so screwed up in my head ever....

karni31

Lisa,

Is your partner an Aussie? If not, I think things are a little easier. What age are your kids? Are they happy here? I totally understand how you feel..and having committed your time and money to building a house makes it worse..it is a scary thought to give it up and go back. I am 31 so not much younger than you and feel pretty messed up too. I know I can never settle here and yet if I leave I will lose my fiance as he doesnt want to live in Ireland...there is no solution.
How does your partner feel about going back? Was he more keen on coming out here than you were? Have you been back to UK to visit?
Cant put my finger on why I dont like it here...I love the sunshine, the beach, the outdoors lifestyle...but its not enough...feel isolated from my family and home, all things familiar to me..I want to start a family but the thought of bringing up my kids away from my mum and family breaks my heart...if I have my kids here I know my partner will never let me bring them home..feels like a prison sentence..
He doesnt understand how I feel...he says u dont need to live under your familys feet and I can always fly home each year..with kids thats too expensive...aahhh
sorry for off-loading on u..
my question is...if u could turn the clock back to 4 months in to your journey here would u follow your heart and go back to UK?

lisaloo

My kids are 9 and 2 and a half yrs, my daughter doesn't now any different but my son would go home he misses family and friends...bless him..
My partner is english. It was his decision to come i didnt want to at first but thought i would give it a go we both said we would look at it as a two year working holiday and return if we were unhappy.
I feel an enormous amount of guilt with my kids, granparents, cousins etc and it does break my heart..as for going back it just isnt feesable once you get the house, cars, work etc..
If i had my chance again i wouldnt of come all the things which i thought i hated and the fact that i thought we were in a rut was all wrong we had everything and the thing that hurts is can i have it all again...
You are not off loading at all and feel free anytime to ask anything. They say time is a great healer but inside wht is your head and heart saying...

birdynumnum

Hi Lisa & karni

Just wanted to say how I feel for you both.

Lisa, if you really dont like it, see how you feel after your holiday home. Hopefully you're man'll go back if you want/need to. You can only try so hard to make it work here, if its not right for you, it just isnt.

Karni - being with an Oz bloke who wont go back to Ireland - I really feel for you. Tricky one that. One of you has to compromise if you want to be together really as you no doubt know. But to live somewhere that feels like a prison sentence isnt nice. Hard one. Would your man really not contemplate living in UK? That seems a tad one sided if you are so unhappy here. Theres got to be give and take. Maybe you could suggest if you feel the same in the future you can both move back. Seems like a reasonable proposition to me
Good luck

birdynumnum

Good post GG
I've written myself an email about why I want to head home for those moments if/when I question the decision.
What a saddo emailing myself

karni31

birdynumnum...
cheers for the advice...emailing yourself isnt silly..dont worry

clougherty family

Hi

Just to say that we have been back for 6 weeks and also had sold our house, cars etc. in the UK and bought a house, cars in Perth. We were there for 2 yrs and now just feel like we've never been away from home. It felt like that as soon as we got back and to be honest, I felt like you in that I thought going back was more of a nightmare than going to Oz - it isn't, it's just the thought of it. I just organised one thing at a time and wrote a list and it all just happened in order. When you think about it, how can it be harder to come back when you know everyone, you know where everything is, you know where to look to buy things you need. From my point of view it hasn't been hard at all and I've got a nearly 4yr old and a baby so you would have thought it would be really stressful.

Hope this helps a bit

Jo

lisaloo

Yes thanks for your reply i wasnt thinking that how could it be harder returning when we know family are there, and where to buy things etc..Did you feel homesick for a while or was it not just right, how long did it take you to decide to go home, are you happy now....thanks again x x

karni31

I just dread the 'I told you so' comments about returning home...not enough to not do it...but it does feel like giving up...have read lots of posts on this site and can see a lot of unhappy people looking at rose tinted glasses at the UK...
is hard to know what to do..
Lisa, have you talked this through with your partner...am sure if you were so unhappy he would consider returning home..

wafc

Sorry to hear that you're feeling that way Lisa.

IMO all that "you haven't given it nowhere near long enough" stuff that people say is rubbish, 17 months is plenty time to have decided how you feel, we only managed 6 months but I know for a fact that we made the right decision by coming home. I know that it does take time to settle etc which is what your friends are probably trying to say but I dont think that there is any time frame on it, you just have to go with what you believe to be the correct decision.

I hope that it passes anyway and that you're happy where you are, but if not and you want to come home, dont see it as a failure as you've done what most people would only ever dream of.

All the best with it all anyway.

Stu

lisaloo

Thanks for the reply and i must admit that when read one of your posts about Wigan it made me feel like i to wanted to be back home as i am from Blackburn just up the road from you...xxx