lisaloo

I am so confused at the moment with my whole life here in Oz...We have been here 17mths built a house, moved to nice area, 2 new cars, etc but none of it has made me happy. I have posted previously about this and just dont know what to do. Previously my partner said he didnt want to go back and would stay alone if he had to but he has since changed his tune and is doubting being here to. I think about home all day everyday, my house, the village i lived in, my sons school, the smell of seasons, walking along the canal, pubs, curries and a good old night on the p55s!!! I have told friends here how i feel but they say that its all normal and will pass with time and that i havent given it no where near long enough. But how long do you give it?? Has anybody felt like this then settled?? The move over here seems so much easier than the move back. I suppose its the unknowing of if what i imaging my life once was is really real or just hopeing images...I'm sooo confused, upset and feel that i'm 33 and dont know where my life is going or who i really am......xxxx

TraceyW

Ditto to everything you've said!! You're not alone Lisa, I feel exactly the way you do, only I've been here 3 years now.

Some days I can cope with the feelings quite easily and just get on with things, other days it drags me down.

I would say though, if you've felt this way for 17 months, the feelings will probably not change, you will do as I've done, and learn to deal with them better. It's a bit like sweeping them under the carpet really, you know they're there but you don't want to uncover them that often!!

tigerrav

Hi lisa i no exactly how ur feelin too, i'm in torquay and as beautiful as it is i miss home terribly,i have only been here since march and have already booked a trip home for xmas, can't wait for some familiarty, but its only for three weeks but i'm sure it will be the best xmas ever.

englishrose

Poor you. At least youve got your partners support now,so youre halfway there.
I suppose you could settle in time ,i really dont know.Know what you mean about the move over seeming easier than the move back,I think thats cos when you emigrate its all new and exciting and unkown,whereas going back ,you know what you are going back TO,and sometimes thats the scary bit !! We are trying to be positive about our move back and wont let negative thinking get in the way !
i totally understand about the little things you miss.To other people ,they dont seem like a big deal,but to those of us who understand,they made our lives what they were.
Is it too expensive to have a trip back for a mth to the uk ,even just you and the kids?This might settle you one way or the other.
It goes to show that our big houses,2 cars and 3 bathrooms we all seem to have, dont make us happy!
Sorry i cant be much help to you,im sure youll get some answers if you hang around on here long enough.
If its right for you to go back then it will all fall into place.We are in canada and are coming back for financial and health reasons,and we considered heading east,but everything we tried just fell flat.Every door was slammed on us and it was obvious that we were to come back to the uk.But once we'd made the decision,it was like a weight had been lifted,and now we cant wait,we look forward to our "new " lives (again!).
hang in there Lisa,it WILL become clear what you should do.Might be days or wks or mths,but it will happen.

Jerseygirl

I can so relate to you. For the first 2 years I missed everything I'd left behind in the UK...most of all I missed my life. The life I'd lived for so many years...the life I'd taken for granted. I used to sit and daydream about my house in the UK...in my mind's eye I would walk from room to room. I could see it all...it was like an out of body experience...my body was in the US but my spirit was walking through my home. It does get better...or at least it did for me but it tooks years not months and dare I say it...several bottles of St John's Wort.

Rosie Cheeks

You are definitely not alone in how you feel. You post is very well expressed and I can throughly relate to what you are saying.

I still haven't really settled here even after 6 years, I have tried and tried and tried.

You really hit the nail on the head when you say that the move over here seems so much easier than the move back! I would love to go home, but what if when I get there I find that I made a mistake?

Jerseygirl

When I read your post I thought...why is she moaning about being in Torquay? The I reaslied...you're in Oz.

Jerseygirl

I think that's the scenario many expats dread. That's why it's best to get citizenship...so you can ping pong. :ee:

Rosie Cheeks

What a great post.......I did (and still do) exactly this!

Rosie Cheeks

Got that covered

Also hubby is an Aussie so is one of the kids, got all bases covered

Jerseygirl

Thank you. That was before the days of BE...thought I was the only one that couldn't settle in the land of opportunity. If only I'd known there were others out there just like me...people I could share my feelings with...I'm sure it would be helped me tremendously.

englishrose

thats what i thought til i looked at the profile !! dohhhhh

jumping doris

That could be me. I used to imagine walking all around my little town,too and I used to look at it on Google Earth.

englishrose

oh dear...... did the feelings pass,or did you return??

Jerseygirl

GE wasn't around 11 yrs ago...but I do that now. I take a walk down memory lane...looking up all the places were I used to live.