Michelle

I will greatly appreciate advice from anyone.
I filed my joint I-751 on april 11, 2004. Received
NOA april 23. 2004. The Nebraska processing center
is processing I-751 with receipt dates of May 2003.
My problem is, my marriage is deteriorating. My husband
is suffering from severe mental health issues such
as depression and severe anxiety. He refuses to get help,
and he is overly-reactive and angry. He is verbally abusive
and has half-heartedly attempted suicide twice now. I am
scared! I am not sure if this man will grant me a divorce,
and I am not sure if I can qualify for a waiver based on
abuse. I have been subject to mental cruelty, but it is
hard to prove that except for the emails that he has
sent me. He does not physically batter, but he is
verbally abusive and has threatened harm to himself.
Help!!!!!!!!
We've been married since September 2001.

Rete

Michelle

Sorry to learn of your marital difficulties. I'm not an attorney but have read here from others who are in similar situations as yourself, that the best course of action since you are not separated or divorced is to let the I-751 ride and hope that a speedy approval is forthcoming before your marriage ends in divorce. I've read the instruction sheet on the I-751 and I don't see that you have to prove an abusive relationship in order to obtain removal of conditions. But then I'm not an attorney so it is only my take on it. That being said the most important thing is for you to safeguard yourself physically from a situation that sounds to be quickly deteriorating.

If I were in your situation, I would:

1. Gather together all proofs of the validity of your marriage in anticipation of a separation and time when you might have to file for a waiver of the I-751 due to divorce and all your personal documentation, i.e. social security card, birth certificate, marriage certificate, passport, driver's license, etc.;

2. Start saving as much of your personal income as possible to aid you in setting up a separate household apart from your spouse;

3. Start looking for areas of the country you wish to relocate to; check out employment; rentals; etc. so that you don't find yourself on the road with no destination in site;

4. Don't tell anyone where you are planning on relocating other than your immediate family and that includes not telling his family members;

5. Be sure to notify the service center of your move asa you are in your new place;

6. Arrange to have your mail forwarded to a non-street address by the USPS (this could be another PO Box in a city close to where you will relocate or home of a family member who lives in the US that you can trust);

7. Verbally abusive is not nice but it something you can deal with by knowing that it is not true;

8. He is more apt to harm himself then you as he is self-destructive but that does not mean you are free from any threat of physical violence.

9. Protect yourself first.

Rete

kittya2004

Sorry to hear of what you are going through Michelle I am experiencing something similar and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

A wise woman once said this to me.

Allow yourself one week only on the pity pot and then get up, wipe up the mess and get on with living. Michelle you need to look after yourself and being with someone that is like that is not safe. First thing is first I concur with Rete look after # 1 first.

It took me a little bit to take her advice but i did and I feel a stronger person from doing so. All I can say is I feel your pain and I am here if you need to talk.

nabisco

sorry your are having a bad time. I am just asking, can't you just get up and walk out the door? That is what I would do.

USA & Pakistan

On the personal side: Things can go from bad to worse very quickly. Do what u can to protect yourself and remember that there are women's crisis programs available if just in case you need to escape in a hurry. They can help you with resources, shelter, legal aid, etc. Does he drink or take drugs? If so, then maybe you can find some help in Alanon.

Michelle

Thank you everyone! Your advice means a lot and I will keep everything in mind.
Thanks, Rete.

AGUILA

Michelle:

Everyone has given you great advice here. Now I am not an attorney and you should not consider my advice as a legal advice, but looking at your situation legally, you might want to start divorce proceedings and divorce this sick individual. If available in your state you should file for divorce based on 'extreme mental cruelty' grounds. This will help you support your claim for an I-751 waiver based on subjected to extreme mental cruelty. Verbal abuse can constitute mental cruelty depending on how that affects you, I know I will be attacked for this statement by some other people here who think they know more than a psychologist or other mental health professionals. You should also get a psychological evaluation to back-up an extreme mental cruelty claim, if you use an expert is better, this evaluations/reports costs but it is great evidence to have expert testimony in your favor. If you need one I could probably give you the contact information for the one I used. As other people have suggested you you could visit local agencies that help battered or mentally/emotionally abused womans... you must create a record of your abuse.

You start doing all these things now, and if I were you I would move out and maybe wait and you might get approved your joint I-751 without interview. Now if you are called for an interview you will have to get your divorce in a rush so you could apply for both waivers and have a stronger case [marriage entered in good faith and ended through divorce and subjected to extreme mental cruelty]. However if you build up a strong mental cruelty case, you don't need to have a divorce decree [divorce finalized] to apply for it. I believe you have a strong case due to the history of suicidal attempts of your husband etc but USCIS likes papers and if you do not give them papers and testimony from mental professionals etc you might face a denial.

If you have any questions or you need the expert contact info that I used for my case contact me at [email protected]

sphyrapicus

The following memorandum may be of interest.

http://uscis.gov/graphics/lawsregs/h...iver041003.pdf

Filing a Form I-751 prior to final termination of the marriage

According to section 216(c)(4)(B) of the Act, a waiver of the joint filing requirement may be granted if the alien spouse can establish that “the qualifying marriage was entered into in good faith by the alien spouse, but the qualifying marriage has been terminated (other than through the death of the spouse) and the alien was not at fault in failing to meet the requirements of paragraph (1)�. The statute clearly requires that the marriage already be terminated and, thus, the mere commencement of divorce proceedings is not sufficient. Further, in Matter of Anderson, 20 I&N Dec. 888 (BIA 1994), it was determined that an alien spouse:

[W]as ineligible to apply for a waiver under section 216(c)(4)(B) [of the Act] because she remained married to her husband . . . if the respondent had become statutorily eligible to apply for the section 216(c)(4)(B) waiver by virtue of changed circumstances, i.e., through the termination of her marriage . . . she could have sought a continuance from the immigration judge to pursue her alternative application with the Service.

In addition, the instructions to the Form I-751 clearly state that:

[Y]ou may apply for a waiver of th[e] joint filing requirement on this form if . . . you entered into the marriage in good faith, but the marriage was later terminated due to divorce or annulment . . . If you are filing to waive the joint filing requirement because your marriage has been terminated, also submit a copy of the divorce decree or other document terminating or annulling the marriage with your petition.

As such, an alien whose conditional resident status is approaching the 2-year anniversary of the grant of such status, but who is unable to file a joint petition to remove the conditions because divorce or annulment proceedings have commenced, may not apply for a waiver of the joint filing requirement based on the “good faith� exception. If an alien’s conditional resident status is terminated because he or she could not timely file a Form I-751, and he or she is placed in removal proceedings, then he or she may request a continuance from the immigration judge to allow for the finalization of the divorce or annulment proceedings. It is noted that the conditional resident whose status has been terminated should be issued a temporary I-551 during the pendency of his or her case before the immigration judge (see Genco Opinion 96-12).

Matthew Udall

Whaaaaa? Is legal advice rendered non legal advice because you say it is so?

AGUILA

I knew you were going to jump! This is a public forum and the members of this board are aware that information posted here is not legal advice. Even if you ar an attorney and you answer some questions it is not legal advice because you are not their attorney and thus you haven't established an attorney-client relationship.

Matthew Udall

LOL, I happen to disagree with your apparent stance that it's impossible for advice rendered here by non-attorney to constitute legal advice, however that is not why I replied (nor do I want to start a discussion about that). And I should have posted in my prior reply that there was no need for you to reply (as I wasn't really asking for one, but if you want to reply, that's obviously OK too).

I just thought it was funny to see someone basically saying, "this is not legal advice, but looking at your legal situation, here is some advice...". Lol.