Desperate help- where do i stand?
Apr 9th 2010, 8:01 am
#31
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Liverpool UK. Job offer in NC
Posts: 8
Re: Desperate help- where do i stand?
Chris, I was wondering if there is a friend or family member who is able to travel to the US to be with you for a week or so? That way you can have someone you trust to support you while you are able to make some decisions on your future.
My reaction is to advise you to stay put, but I am speaking without the emotional turmoil you are experiencing and if I was in distress I would be inclined to run back to familiar territory.
My reaction is to advise you to stay put, but I am speaking without the emotional turmoil you are experiencing and if I was in distress I would be inclined to run back to familiar territory.
Apr 9th 2010, 10:45 am
#32
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Nov 2008
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 976
Re: Desperate help- where do i stand?
Chris:
When I went through my divorce I had many of the same thoughts you do. I came over on a K1, adjusted and had a happy married life - or so i thought. 4 years later I came home from work one day, and was informed by my now ex that she no longer wished to be married. No warning whatsoever. There had been no infidelity, no violence, no big arguments, nothing. To this day, I don't know why she wanted out. I guess she just did. Granted, the timeframe in my situation was different than yours, but that feeling of being struck by a lightening bolt was there nonetheless. I too had (and still have) all my family in my home country. I had made some friends here, but most of my friends from the old days were still back home.
I decided to stay put for a little while, at least to tie up loose ends and such. I always wanted to drive a big V8 cross country since I was little, but never had any real desire to move to the US until I met my ex. In the end it all worked out. I have been with my second wife for 15 years now, I have lost count of how many coast to coast drives I have made over the years, and I am a naturalized US citizen. It all worked out for me in the end, and so far I don't regret staying.
You have to do what is right for you in your situation of course, but my advice to you is: Take your time. You have a unique opportunity that many people literally die for. And once you get over the initial shock of the breakup, being a single european male in the US is not so bad. There are more fish in the sea, my friend.
When I went through my divorce I had many of the same thoughts you do. I came over on a K1, adjusted and had a happy married life - or so i thought. 4 years later I came home from work one day, and was informed by my now ex that she no longer wished to be married. No warning whatsoever. There had been no infidelity, no violence, no big arguments, nothing. To this day, I don't know why she wanted out. I guess she just did. Granted, the timeframe in my situation was different than yours, but that feeling of being struck by a lightening bolt was there nonetheless. I too had (and still have) all my family in my home country. I had made some friends here, but most of my friends from the old days were still back home.
I decided to stay put for a little while, at least to tie up loose ends and such. I always wanted to drive a big V8 cross country since I was little, but never had any real desire to move to the US until I met my ex. In the end it all worked out. I have been with my second wife for 15 years now, I have lost count of how many coast to coast drives I have made over the years, and I am a naturalized US citizen. It all worked out for me in the end, and so far I don't regret staying.
You have to do what is right for you in your situation of course, but my advice to you is: Take your time. You have a unique opportunity that many people literally die for. And once you get over the initial shock of the breakup, being a single european male in the US is not so bad. There are more fish in the sea, my friend.
Last edited by discoviking; Apr 9th 2010 at 10:49 am.
Apr 9th 2010, 11:08 am
#33
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2009
Location: Houston
Posts: 522
Re: Desperate help- where do i stand?
well, what a challenging situation.
I am from Las Vegas (but live in UK with my UK husband.) I thought there was a residency requirement for divorce...I think it is 6 weeks. Your wife must know that.
Get onto Craig's list - one idea is to rent a room for a little bit with someone else. (You must have some money....) Its time to get yourself separated and on your way to getting on your feet. There are always folks looking to rent out their spare bedrooms in Vegas.
Las Vegas has a lot of opportunities for work, to get you going.
You do not need $2500 for a divorce lawyer. If she really wants the divorce, you'll find the 'do it yourself' paperwork all over town. Additionally, if she really wants the divorce, talk to her and use the same lawyer and let HER pay for it. If you are worried she'll get what is 'yours' that means you have resources, so get yourself into a roommate situation or even check into a low price casino/hotel (Orleans or Gold Coast are very reasonable without being too awful!)
It does sound like an awful situation, but everything has its reason. You can either start 'over' in the US or in UK. Only you know what is best for you! Either way it IS a hard road for a little bit, but you'll be fine in time.
I am from Las Vegas (but live in UK with my UK husband.) I thought there was a residency requirement for divorce...I think it is 6 weeks. Your wife must know that.
Get onto Craig's list - one idea is to rent a room for a little bit with someone else. (You must have some money....) Its time to get yourself separated and on your way to getting on your feet. There are always folks looking to rent out their spare bedrooms in Vegas.
Las Vegas has a lot of opportunities for work, to get you going.
You do not need $2500 for a divorce lawyer. If she really wants the divorce, you'll find the 'do it yourself' paperwork all over town. Additionally, if she really wants the divorce, talk to her and use the same lawyer and let HER pay for it. If you are worried she'll get what is 'yours' that means you have resources, so get yourself into a roommate situation or even check into a low price casino/hotel (Orleans or Gold Coast are very reasonable without being too awful!)
It does sound like an awful situation, but everything has its reason. You can either start 'over' in the US or in UK. Only you know what is best for you! Either way it IS a hard road for a little bit, but you'll be fine in time.
