Desperate for help -- please read :(
Nov 4th 2002, 2:36 am
#31
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Joined: Oct 2002
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Posts: 605
And kindly cut out that "the more we read" crap. Now you're assuming you're speaking on behalf of everyone else in this forum, when you're not. FIRST: The WE is from the 11 people in my office that read this forum and are in awe of your ability to waste time arguing with me instead of just saying, "Hey, I might just take your advice and try that."
Your last post clearly indicates that you're more interested in belittling, presupposing and offering judgements of character with no supporting evidence, rather than offering any helpful or realistic advice. SECOND: My last post before Jenny's elementary school retorts gave her two CONCRETE possibilities towards convincing her parents to sponsor you :
a) Have jenny talk to her employer, set goals, ask for a raise based on her meeting those goals and have your employer sign that she will be eligible for a raise in XX # of months (if you are worth keeping, employers will do this) or b) have Jenny send your resume out based on your "educational and knowledge base" and convince someone to offer you a job so you can take that to her parents to convince them you won't be a burden and that you BOTH are handling this to make that so.
There was no patronizing, or condescending in the answers. If you feel attacked, it's probably because it rubbed people a little wrong to read your initial message on this forum. And your anger towards people who don't have the same opinion as yourself seems a little childish.
And just so you get the real 411 and stop assuming things yourselves.... People from this very same forum also gave me answers I didn't like. I had to swallow my pride , start over , and stop making excuses. What I didn't do was have a tantrum. And sure it was harder than just having my mom sign, but you know what? It felt pretty damn good to do things on my own, and I didn't even have to make my parents look like asses on an international forum like this one.
Since it takes two to argue and I see this thread is going nowhere, I respectfully will excuse myself from it.
Thanks,
Ange
Your last post clearly indicates that you're more interested in belittling, presupposing and offering judgements of character with no supporting evidence, rather than offering any helpful or realistic advice. SECOND: My last post before Jenny's elementary school retorts gave her two CONCRETE possibilities towards convincing her parents to sponsor you :
a) Have jenny talk to her employer, set goals, ask for a raise based on her meeting those goals and have your employer sign that she will be eligible for a raise in XX # of months (if you are worth keeping, employers will do this) or b) have Jenny send your resume out based on your "educational and knowledge base" and convince someone to offer you a job so you can take that to her parents to convince them you won't be a burden and that you BOTH are handling this to make that so.
There was no patronizing, or condescending in the answers. If you feel attacked, it's probably because it rubbed people a little wrong to read your initial message on this forum. And your anger towards people who don't have the same opinion as yourself seems a little childish.
And just so you get the real 411 and stop assuming things yourselves.... People from this very same forum also gave me answers I didn't like. I had to swallow my pride , start over , and stop making excuses. What I didn't do was have a tantrum. And sure it was harder than just having my mom sign, but you know what? It felt pretty damn good to do things on my own, and I didn't even have to make my parents look like asses on an international forum like this one.
Since it takes two to argue and I see this thread is going nowhere, I respectfully will excuse myself from it.
Thanks,
Ange
Nov 4th 2002, 2:52 am
#32
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4,316
Re: Desperate for help -- please read :(
Originally posted by Jeremy Russell
Don't want to burst your bubble yet again, but be aware that US -> UK
moves are bureaucratic, they do want to know about financial affairs,
sponsorship etc, the intent being to make sure that immigrants aren't
a drain on the UK's resources.
Don't want to burst your bubble yet again, but be aware that US -> UK
moves are bureaucratic, they do want to know about financial affairs,
sponsorship etc, the intent being to make sure that immigrants aren't
a drain on the UK's resources.
--
Mark
Nov 4th 2002, 3:34 am
#33
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Richmond, VA, USA
Posts: 4,316
Originally posted by angeles73
The WE is from the 11 people in my office that read this forum and are in awe of your ability to waste time arguing with me instead of just saying, "Hey, I might just take your advice and try that."
The WE is from the 11 people in my office that read this forum and are in awe of your ability to waste time arguing with me instead of just saying, "Hey, I might just take your advice and try that."
For your information, we are following the sensible advice and practical suggestions that people have made, so kindly don't assume that we're not. If I happen to have enough spare time with which to respond to your vitriol, then that's my prerogative.
My last post before Jenny's elementary school retorts gave her two CONCRETE possibilities towards convincing her parents to sponsor you.
If you feel attacked, it's probably because it rubbed people a little wrong to read your initial message on this forum. And your anger towards people who don't have the same opinion as yourself seems a little childish.
--
Mark
Nov 4th 2002, 3:53 am
#34
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Joined: Oct 2002
Location: UK Citizen Now In Baltimore County USA
Posts: 906
I really do sympathise with your issue here, it must have been tough for you to have your dreams knocked back like that. For those who are going through the process it is an emotionally charged time, and when all is going well, there is always that damn Banana skin to slip on.
One of the purposes of this forum, is to help with some advise when we do eventually slip on it, even if its just a pat on the back we receive with little or no advise, its a boost and helps when we fall down or get in a corner, it helps recharge that fighting spirit you need right now.
Its tough for you to be in the positoon you are right now, and I am sure the majority of people who read these threads and who are going through this process, wish you all the best and hope that you find a solution to this situation you find yourself in.
Never say never.
One of the purposes of this forum, is to help with some advise when we do eventually slip on it, even if its just a pat on the back we receive with little or no advise, its a boost and helps when we fall down or get in a corner, it helps recharge that fighting spirit you need right now.
Its tough for you to be in the positoon you are right now, and I am sure the majority of people who read these threads and who are going through this process, wish you all the best and hope that you find a solution to this situation you find yourself in.
Never say never.
Nov 4th 2002, 7:42 am
#35
Guest
Posts: n/a
Re: Desperate for help -- please read :(
"Jenney & Mark" wrote:
>
> Thank you for your patronising and condescending contribution to this
> thread, Angeles73.
>
> Unfortunately, much of your "advice" is based upon an assumption that
> you know what goes on inside the heads of Jenney, myself, her parents
> and/or anyone else who may be involved. The fact of the matter is that
> you're not fully aware of the circumstances involved in our
> situation, nor of anyone's motives or reasons behind any decisions
> they've made.
Of course we don't know the whole story. Therefore we have to respond
based on what you told us.
As someone mentioned. Getting married and immigration is NOT YOUR
PARENT'S PROBLEM.
>
> Thank you for your patronising and condescending contribution to this
> thread, Angeles73.
>
> Unfortunately, much of your "advice" is based upon an assumption that
> you know what goes on inside the heads of Jenney, myself, her parents
> and/or anyone else who may be involved. The fact of the matter is that
> you're not fully aware of the circumstances involved in our
> situation, nor of anyone's motives or reasons behind any decisions
> they've made.
Of course we don't know the whole story. Therefore we have to respond
based on what you told us.
As someone mentioned. Getting married and immigration is NOT YOUR
PARENT'S PROBLEM.
Nov 4th 2002, 8:30 am
#36
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,421
Re: Desperate for help -- please read :(
Having read some of the responses on here, I'm surpsrised at how un-supportive some of the posts have been.
Most of us started off in the same boat, not intending to fall in love with someone from another country, however circumstances conspired and that is what happened to most of us on this ng.
It would be interesting to find out what % of those who recieved their visas did so without a co-sponsor. I would hesitate a guess and say it's quite a high percentage.
However many folk are not in that financial situation and rely on co-sponsors. In my own case I wasn't sure if our affadavit was strong enough and had co-sponsors "in my breifcase" at the interview, just in case. As it turned out they weren't needed but it sure was nice have it as a back up.
Whatever someone's relationship is with their parents or any other potential sponsor is of no concern of us "others" on this group, it should be our aim to try to offer constructive advice and not get involved in a slanging match at a time which is very stressul for the visa applicants.
I would be interested to know the response from the "knockers" on here had their circumstances been the same as Jenny and Mark's.
"There but for the grace of God......." springs to mind.
Most of us started off in the same boat, not intending to fall in love with someone from another country, however circumstances conspired and that is what happened to most of us on this ng.
It would be interesting to find out what % of those who recieved their visas did so without a co-sponsor. I would hesitate a guess and say it's quite a high percentage.
However many folk are not in that financial situation and rely on co-sponsors. In my own case I wasn't sure if our affadavit was strong enough and had co-sponsors "in my breifcase" at the interview, just in case. As it turned out they weren't needed but it sure was nice have it as a back up.
Whatever someone's relationship is with their parents or any other potential sponsor is of no concern of us "others" on this group, it should be our aim to try to offer constructive advice and not get involved in a slanging match at a time which is very stressul for the visa applicants.
I would be interested to know the response from the "knockers" on here had their circumstances been the same as Jenny and Mark's.
"There but for the grace of God......." springs to mind.
Nov 4th 2002, 4:17 pm
#37
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 397
Re: Desperate for help -- please read :(
Originally posted by Mrtravel
"Jenney & Mark" wrote:
>
> Thank you for your patronising and condescending contribution to this
> thread, Angeles73.
>
> Unfortunately, much of your "advice" is based upon an assumption that
> you know what goes on inside the heads of Jenney, myself, her parents
> and/or anyone else who may be involved. The fact of the matter is that
> you're not fully aware of the circumstances involved in our
> situation, nor of anyone's motives or reasons behind any decisions
> they've made.
Of course we don't know the whole story. Therefore we have to respond
based on what you told us.
As someone mentioned. Getting married and immigration is NOT YOUR
PARENT'S PROBLEM.
"Jenney & Mark" wrote:
>
> Thank you for your patronising and condescending contribution to this
> thread, Angeles73.
>
> Unfortunately, much of your "advice" is based upon an assumption that
> you know what goes on inside the heads of Jenney, myself, her parents
> and/or anyone else who may be involved. The fact of the matter is that
> you're not fully aware of the circumstances involved in our
> situation, nor of anyone's motives or reasons behind any decisions
> they've made.
Of course we don't know the whole story. Therefore we have to respond
based on what you told us.
As someone mentioned. Getting married and immigration is NOT YOUR
PARENT'S PROBLEM.
Sorry i just had to say my piece, as i know how i would feel if i was in the same situation (almost was) and it does make you think whats important these days.
Oct 6th 2003, 11:10 pm
#38
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,816
Originally posted by okiedokie
Rete said you had been a respected contributor for years. I did a search and you only go back not quite one year. Hmmmm
This board goes back to 2001 and yet your name only reaches to nov 2002.
So.... after being here not quite one year, that gives you the right to attack and abuse people and be backed up by the moderator I see.
what a douche bag , and now we see the problem with the board.. The moderator is also a liar. ... so I see its trickle-down bullshit around here.
you should be ashamed of yourself
Rete said you had been a respected contributor for years. I did a search and you only go back not quite one year. Hmmmm
This board goes back to 2001 and yet your name only reaches to nov 2002.
So.... after being here not quite one year, that gives you the right to attack and abuse people and be backed up by the moderator I see.
what a douche bag , and now we see the problem with the board.. The moderator is also a liar. ... so I see its trickle-down bullshit around here.
you should be ashamed of yourself
Oooooohhhhhhhhh........kaaaaaaayyyyyy. You need to stop resurrecting old threads. This conversation is long forgotten. Besides, how do you know that DC Mark hasn't been here as long as Rete says he has? People don't always go by the same username, as we've discovered with the recent troll onslaught lately, but if you're here long enough, you get to know the trolls from the real cases.
Kate.
Last edited by katesuiter1; Oct 6th 2003 at 11:28 pm.
Oct 6th 2003, 11:59 pm
#39
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 1,216
And we are supposed to pay attention to someone calling people names such as douche bag and bumping up year old posts? Go get a life you idiot. God almighty I get sick of crap like this wasting my time on this board.
Leslie
Leslie
Oct 13th 2003, 4:21 am
#40
Isabelle's Mommy
Joined: Feb 2003
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 161
So...what did your brother say Jenney????
Robin
Robin
Oct 13th 2003, 5:09 am
#41
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,449
Originally posted by okiedokie
Rete said you had been a respected contributor for years. I did a search and you only go back not quite one year. Hmmmm
This board goes back to 2001 and yet your name only reaches to nov 2002.
So.... after being here not quite one year, that gives you the right to attack and abuse people and be backed up by the moderator I see.
what a douche bag , and now we see the problem with the board.. The moderator is also a liar. ... so I see its trickle-down bullshit around here.
you should be ashamed of yourself
Rete said you had been a respected contributor for years. I did a search and you only go back not quite one year. Hmmmm
This board goes back to 2001 and yet your name only reaches to nov 2002.
So.... after being here not quite one year, that gives you the right to attack and abuse people and be backed up by the moderator I see.
what a douche bag , and now we see the problem with the board.. The moderator is also a liar. ... so I see its trickle-down bullshit around here.
you should be ashamed of yourself
Are you crazy???!!!???!!!
Oct 13th 2003, 4:24 pm
#42
YIPPEEEEEEEEE :)
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Almost Lake Ozark Missouri.
Posts: 140
Re: Desperate for help -- please read :(
My husbands parents wouldn't co sponser either. Its not that they don't love us or not support our marriage and love etc - they have watched their three children all divorce and remarry. It is alot to ask someone I guess.
Originally posted by Jenney & Mark
Someone please help me.
Some background info: Mark and I mailed in our I-129F petition last week, and are currently gathering documentation that he'll need for Packets 3 and 4. The most crucial of these is the I-134 Affidavit of Support, more specifically, getting someone to co-sponsor.
I emailed my parents last night, asking them if they would do this for us. I did my best to reassure them that there's little to no risk of them co-sponsoring Mark -- that it's mostly a formality, albeit a very necessary one. I even created a FAQ for them, made up of questions I thought they might have about it, to help them more clearly understand their role as co-sponsor.
To my complete devastation, my father replied with a very curt email saying: "I'm not legally responsible for you nor your brother, and I'm not about to be legally responsible for Mark or anyone else. It's simply out of the question."
I don't know what I'm going to do. I simply don't have many people I can ask to do this. Next on my list is my brother and his wife, but the main reason I went to my parents first, ironically enough, is because they DON'T have any dependents. My brother has a baby, and they're probably planning on having another one in the next couple of years. Add to that the fact that they have your basic young couple expenses (mortgage, car payments, etc.) and that they're quite frugal with money, and the chance of them saying yes is, at best, 50-50.
Other than my brother, I don't really have anyone else I can ask. My friends would feel too wary of being co-sponsors, since I'm not family. And if I can't even count on my family to help me, what else can I do??
My biggest question for all of you is this:
How long would I have to be earning above the minimum in order to NOT need a co-sponsor?
I earn just below the minimum now. I'm planning on getting a better job anyway, but the fact remains that by the time I get one, it will be only a couple of months before Mark's interview, if I'm lucky.
Is that enough time?? London asks for 3 years' worth of tax returns -- if I didn't make enough then (which I didn't), would that be held against me?? Or do they only consider what I'm making NOW??
IS THERE ANY WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS?!?!?!?!?
Please help, I'm desperate...
~ Jenney
Someone please help me.
Some background info: Mark and I mailed in our I-129F petition last week, and are currently gathering documentation that he'll need for Packets 3 and 4. The most crucial of these is the I-134 Affidavit of Support, more specifically, getting someone to co-sponsor.
I emailed my parents last night, asking them if they would do this for us. I did my best to reassure them that there's little to no risk of them co-sponsoring Mark -- that it's mostly a formality, albeit a very necessary one. I even created a FAQ for them, made up of questions I thought they might have about it, to help them more clearly understand their role as co-sponsor.
To my complete devastation, my father replied with a very curt email saying: "I'm not legally responsible for you nor your brother, and I'm not about to be legally responsible for Mark or anyone else. It's simply out of the question."
I don't know what I'm going to do. I simply don't have many people I can ask to do this. Next on my list is my brother and his wife, but the main reason I went to my parents first, ironically enough, is because they DON'T have any dependents. My brother has a baby, and they're probably planning on having another one in the next couple of years. Add to that the fact that they have your basic young couple expenses (mortgage, car payments, etc.) and that they're quite frugal with money, and the chance of them saying yes is, at best, 50-50.
Other than my brother, I don't really have anyone else I can ask. My friends would feel too wary of being co-sponsors, since I'm not family. And if I can't even count on my family to help me, what else can I do??
My biggest question for all of you is this:
How long would I have to be earning above the minimum in order to NOT need a co-sponsor?
I earn just below the minimum now. I'm planning on getting a better job anyway, but the fact remains that by the time I get one, it will be only a couple of months before Mark's interview, if I'm lucky.
Is that enough time?? London asks for 3 years' worth of tax returns -- if I didn't make enough then (which I didn't), would that be held against me?? Or do they only consider what I'm making NOW??
IS THERE ANY WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS?!?!?!?!?
Please help, I'm desperate...
~ Jenney
Oct 13th 2003, 5:00 pm
#43
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 14,049
Re: Desperate for help -- please read :(
Jenny,
Your parent's show good sense. However, it may help you to persuade them by pointing out that co-sponsoring on an I-134 for the visa does NOT legally obligate them.
After Mark is in the US and has applied for Adjustment of Status, you will have to provide an I-864, which IS legally binding. By that time you'd best have that better paying job you're hoping for, Further, Mark may well be employed by then and you will likely have been living together for more than 6 months by the time that the AOS interview comes up, in which case Mark can supply an I-864A and co-sponsor himself.
So, your situation may not be so bleak if you can make someone understand that the I-134 is not legally binding.
Your parent's show good sense. However, it may help you to persuade them by pointing out that co-sponsoring on an I-134 for the visa does NOT legally obligate them.
After Mark is in the US and has applied for Adjustment of Status, you will have to provide an I-864, which IS legally binding. By that time you'd best have that better paying job you're hoping for, Further, Mark may well be employed by then and you will likely have been living together for more than 6 months by the time that the AOS interview comes up, in which case Mark can supply an I-864A and co-sponsor himself.
So, your situation may not be so bleak if you can make someone understand that the I-134 is not legally binding.
Originally posted by Jenney & Mark
Someone please help me.
Some background info: Mark and I mailed in our I-129F petition last week, and are currently gathering documentation that he'll need for Packets 3 and 4. The most crucial of these is the I-134 Affidavit of Support, more specifically, getting someone to co-sponsor.
I emailed my parents last night, asking them if they would do this for us. I did my best to reassure them that there's little to no risk of them co-sponsoring Mark -- that it's mostly a formality, albeit a very necessary one. I even created a FAQ for them, made up of questions I thought they might have about it, to help them more clearly understand their role as co-sponsor.
To my complete devastation, my father replied with a very curt email saying: "I'm not legally responsible for you nor your brother, and I'm not about to be legally responsible for Mark or anyone else. It's simply out of the question."
I don't know what I'm going to do. I simply don't have many people I can ask to do this. Next on my list is my brother and his wife, but the main reason I went to my parents first, ironically enough, is because they DON'T have any dependents. My brother has a baby, and they're probably planning on having another one in the next couple of years. Add to that the fact that they have your basic young couple expenses (mortgage, car payments, etc.) and that they're quite frugal with money, and the chance of them saying yes is, at best, 50-50.
Other than my brother, I don't really have anyone else I can ask. My friends would feel too wary of being co-sponsors, since I'm not family. And if I can't even count on my family to help me, what else can I do??
My biggest question for all of you is this:
How long would I have to be earning above the minimum in order to NOT need a co-sponsor?
I earn just below the minimum now. I'm planning on getting a better job anyway, but the fact remains that by the time I get one, it will be only a couple of months before Mark's interview, if I'm lucky.
Is that enough time?? London asks for 3 years' worth of tax returns -- if I didn't make enough then (which I didn't), would that be held against me?? Or do they only consider what I'm making NOW??
IS THERE ANY WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS?!?!?!?!?
Please help, I'm desperate...
~ Jenney
Someone please help me.
Some background info: Mark and I mailed in our I-129F petition last week, and are currently gathering documentation that he'll need for Packets 3 and 4. The most crucial of these is the I-134 Affidavit of Support, more specifically, getting someone to co-sponsor.
I emailed my parents last night, asking them if they would do this for us. I did my best to reassure them that there's little to no risk of them co-sponsoring Mark -- that it's mostly a formality, albeit a very necessary one. I even created a FAQ for them, made up of questions I thought they might have about it, to help them more clearly understand their role as co-sponsor.
To my complete devastation, my father replied with a very curt email saying: "I'm not legally responsible for you nor your brother, and I'm not about to be legally responsible for Mark or anyone else. It's simply out of the question."
I don't know what I'm going to do. I simply don't have many people I can ask to do this. Next on my list is my brother and his wife, but the main reason I went to my parents first, ironically enough, is because they DON'T have any dependents. My brother has a baby, and they're probably planning on having another one in the next couple of years. Add to that the fact that they have your basic young couple expenses (mortgage, car payments, etc.) and that they're quite frugal with money, and the chance of them saying yes is, at best, 50-50.
Other than my brother, I don't really have anyone else I can ask. My friends would feel too wary of being co-sponsors, since I'm not family. And if I can't even count on my family to help me, what else can I do??
My biggest question for all of you is this:
How long would I have to be earning above the minimum in order to NOT need a co-sponsor?
I earn just below the minimum now. I'm planning on getting a better job anyway, but the fact remains that by the time I get one, it will be only a couple of months before Mark's interview, if I'm lucky.
Is that enough time?? London asks for 3 years' worth of tax returns -- if I didn't make enough then (which I didn't), would that be held against me?? Or do they only consider what I'm making NOW??
IS THERE ANY WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS?!?!?!?!?
Please help, I'm desperate...
~ Jenney
