24-butterflies

Hi, my mum has met a man from america and they want to start a life together in san deago where he lives,
mum will take my little brother 12 and sister 3 with her what do they need to do for this?
they want to marry
does the childrens father have to sign anything for them to be able to live there and how long is the process and if they married can they stay there whilst it all goes through or will she have to come back to the uk and wait, loads of questions but no one in the family has ever done this before were all uk born and bred lol
we would be really thankful for any info u can give us as this means a lot to mum but she does not know where to start thanks.

meauxna

You should have your mum come and post on the board, or her San Diego friend. It's pretty difficult to pass information along 3rd hand, even online.

Aren't you coming over as well? How old are you?

meauxna

Here are three links describing the K-1 visa process---this is ONE way the family might relocate.

How Do I Bring My Fiancé(e) to the United States?

BritishExpats Wiki K-1

K1 London Applications

24-butterflies

No im not coming over i have my own life in enland and expecting my first child.

they are the questions that mum is asking through me.

Patrick Hasler

How long has she known the man ?
Taking not just herself but two kids along is a big move for them ! ..... It's their entire future !

You have already mentioned the father in this, has anyone even considered how he will feel loosing his kids ? ..... Nobody ever seems to consider how dad's feel.

meauxna

OK. They may want to hire an attorney to help guide them through the process then. It's not really a case of 'oh, pick up one of these, two of those and weld them together to get your result'; there are way too many variables along the way to just give a 'recipe' for them.
Your mother will need specific permission from their father to have the children immigrate.
It will take about 6-8 months for all the paperwork (she waits in the UK) and then once in the US, they can remain to complete the rest of the paperwork.

ian-mstm

Why does it matter? She seems to have made her decision.


Yup... I agree with this.


In my limited experience in this forum, when the woman wants to run off to America with the kids, she often doesn't care what the father thinks.


I agree it probably should be a consideration... but it often isn't. In the grand scheme of immigration, fathers are far less selfish when it comes to the children than the mothers are. Fathers most often choose not to separate the children from the mother and so allow the mothers to leave with the kids... even though it may be most painful for them to do so. Most mothers would be totally against the father ever taking the children away... most fathers would allow it. Such is life. Should it be that way? I've no idea... but as unfair as it sounds, it's often true.

Ian

24-butterflies

not that its any of your concern nor was it the question but there dad hasnt bothered with them for years or paid a penny, so it wont make a difference to him where they are especially as he is off to france i asked because its a case of trying to get in contact with him and having to meet when things arnt amicable,
of course they have given it plenty of thought and every decision mum has made has been best for the children you dont know their circumstances or situation so thanks but not looking for parenting tips or relationship advice.

Noorah101

Hi and welcome to BE.

There are two basic ways mom can immigrate to the USA. One is the K-1 fiance visa, and one is the CR-1 spouse Immigrant Visa. Look in the wiki on this site for information on both routes. The K-1 is bit faster to get her to the USA, but she then needs to marry and apply for her green card once in side the USA. The Immigrant Visa takes a few months more to receive, but she enters the USA as a permanent resident already.

Mom will most likely need written permission from the children's father to remove them from the UK, so that's something she can get started on now.

Rene

24-butterflies

Im asking for help and advice on how and what they need to do not opinions on why they are going or to be judged,
Of course they know eachother very well what mother in there right mind would up and move there kids for someone they havent met and marry them thats mad and selfish we have know him a long time. Im not angry with her either i will miss them loads but the last few years have been so tough on all of them this is a fantastic opitunity for them all and mum lives 5hrs from me already i dont see it as her leaving me i would be a very selfish person to deprive my family of happiness just because i want her to pop over for tea every now and again. The world is getting smaller these days and its so easy to keep in touch.

As for the matter of their father he up and left ages ago not giving them a second though and didnt look back people very keen to jump to his defence.

thanks eveyone for relivent advice can we now be less opinionated leave personal details out and get back to the original question im just trying to find things out to be helpfull to them.

meauxna

You are not required to respond to every perceived slight posted here. There is a wealth of experience gathered here, and generally if someone raises a question it's because they or others here have gone through it before. You're not in a position to know what is relevant or not.

Believe it; people DO plan to marry and move to a new country without ever meeting their beloved in person. It was asked because it is a requirement for one of the visas you're asking about.

The bio father matters because it doesn't matter if he shuffled off to Buffalo without a word; they still need his permission. We don't know these things, so they get asked or brought forward.

Your mother or her boyfriend should be doing this research. You don't need to be defensive on their behalf.

clarissageo

As others have said, it would be easier if your mum posted, She will have more information to give than you do, and it is so much easier to deal with someone first hand rather than to try and get information 2nd hand.

Also, as I'm sure you will have noticed when you read other threads - personal details are a necessary evil when it comes to being able to dish out advice or get advice on a forum, obviously no-one wants to know names, addresses and telephone numbers, but it is important to have as many hard facts as possible so you are not given the wrong advice - something as simple as a couple not yet having met could make a big difference to the application process and the length of time it will take, and if it is actually practical.

As far as your siblings go, it would be much easier if your mum could speak to their father and get permission to remove them from the UK. If she can't then she can apply to the court for 'Leave to remove the Jurisdiction'. That is a court order giving her permission to leave the UK, and an order like that can over-ride what the father of the children says. That in itself can take months to obtain and involves meetings with CAFCASS and the courts, so if your mum is serious about moving she needs to proceed with that now. The visa will not be issued without written permission (either a court order or a notarized letter from dad) by the embassy, so everything will be on hold until she has that permission. That said, she can start both processes at the same time so with a little bit of luck and good planning it won't double the length of time it takes for her to immigrate.

Everyone on here will give you the best advice they can - try not to get defensive

ian-mstm

You write this as though we actually know the circumstances! We're not mind readers... and the biological father *must* give his written permission (or mum needs a court order) whether or not he's ever set eyes on the children. We are not jumping to *HIS* defense... we are expressing a known concern of which most people in your mum's situation simply aren't aware!


With all due respect, it's not necessarily a good idea to get snotty with the people who are trying to help you... and if we ask what you perceive as "personal" questions, there's a reason for it. We've done this... you haven't. We know what questions to ask... and they are relevant.

Ian

Noorah101

24-butterflies,

Please don't be put off. Don't take the posts here personally. We all are trying to help in our own way. Just wade through the information and take what you can from it.

And I agree with others that it's better if your mom or her fiance comes directly to the forum to ask the questions. Second-hand information can get lost in translation, especially with immigration...it can get very complex, and there are lots of little details. Of course we will answer your questions, in hopes the mom and future step-dad get the correct information out of it.

For now, maybe have your mom and her fiance read the links we've posted, then if they have more questions they can let you (or better yet, us) know.

Best Wishes,
Rene

24-butterflies

thanks for the last 2 posts meauxna and clarissageo, dont mean to get so defensive the pregnancy makes me terrible angry and as tho im being ganged up on lol silly i know not myself at all recently, i was unaware that these little details were important but as they are i shall start over, i can apriciate that many people do just meet on net and flit over or marry just to be in that country believe it or not england is pretty desirable also so we get a of it but thats not the case here and yes mum writng this would make it easier but we dnt live near eachother and whilst she is doing her research and he is doing his i thought id try and get some info to help them and to understand what they would have to do myself.

Right starting again lol, My mum and her partner from america that do propery know eachother are wanting to marry and become a family, my little brother and sister will be going with her they dont have a relationship with there father as he had an affair and walked out on them he hasnt bothered since and is a nasty piece of work.
I trust my mums judgement she is a wonderfull mother and this is huge for her the kids are desperate to go as there life is misserable and lonely this is a great opitunity for them her partner is lovely and they all make eachother so happy this is more about them just wanting to be together than mum wanting to be in america but he has his business and everything there and im all thats in england for mum.

thanks all