AOS Case Denial
Aug 26th 2004, 9:32 am
#31
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Point well taken psychobabbler
Originally Posted by psychobabbler1
Kitty, I don't want to be an alarmist here, but based on recent revelations, I think you should get tested for HIV/AIDS *immediately* and then again in 6 months (I think that's the recommendation).
Dawn
Dawn
Aug 26th 2004, 10:06 am
#32
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Originally Posted by kittya2004
Yeha but rete what do I do right now I cannot cry enough and just spoke to his friend who has already told me he loves me whiuch I just laughed off again and asked if he was bent or straight he assures me he is straight and well he has 5 kids so maybe he is lol. He told me not all men are like and now I hate using this word ( my husband ) and that he wants to sponsor me to stay what are my options there he has his own business and wants to do it through there. He sees that i dnt deseve all of this. What can I do I am losing it here and my husband is now in MS and refuses to talk to me i just tried. I am so screwed 
How do you deal with something like that when i still love him ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
How do you deal with something like that when i still love him ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.I can't believe he did that to you!!, I am so sorry Kittya, I can't put into words how bad I feel!!
Your husband's friend loves you?. Oh man..
He wants to sponsor you for a work visa?, I might be wrong.. but since you are out of status you will have to come back home and then apply for the work visa.. do you have any college degree?, It is very tough to get a work visa but if you take that path.. I wish you nothing but the very best. There is a forum in BE that answers questions about H1B visas and such.
http://uscis.gov/graphics/services/r...employment.htm
If you need emotional support.. I am just a PM away ok?
((Kittya)) Take care!!
Hyper~~ Hoping to be wrong...
Aug 26th 2004, 10:32 am
#33
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,477
Re: AOS Case Denial
Originally Posted by psychobabbler1
Kitty, I don't want to be an alarmist here, but based on recent revelations, I think you should get tested for HIV/AIDS *immediately* and then again in 6 months (I think that's the recommendation).
Dawn
Dawn
Actually that testing should be done whenever any 1/2 of a couple is unfaithful regardless of their sexual preference. AIDS/HIV is not strictly a gay man's disease and prevalent in hetrosexual couples as well.
It is also, IMHO, a test that everyone should have prior to starting a new physical relationship and one that you should demand to see the results of from the person you are interested in having the physical relationship with. If they do not wish to comply, then you don't need their selfishness and uncaring in your life.
Rete
Aug 26th 2004, 10:35 am
#34
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Thank you Rete for your thoughtful words and I am so sorry this same thing happened to you. I just wanna oooooooooo I am so mad right now but it will fade eventually.
Originally Posted by Rete
Actually that testing should be done whenever any 1/2 of a couple is unfaithful regardless of their sexual preference. AIDS/HIV is not strictly a gay man's disease and prevalent in hetrosexual couples as well.
It is also, IMHO, a test that everyone should have prior to starting a new physical relationship and one that you should demand to see the results of from the person you are interested in having the physical relationship with. If they do not wish to comply, then you don't need their selfishness and uncaring in your life.
Rete
It is also, IMHO, a test that everyone should have prior to starting a new physical relationship and one that you should demand to see the results of from the person you are interested in having the physical relationship with. If they do not wish to comply, then you don't need their selfishness and uncaring in your life.
Rete
Aug 26th 2004, 10:45 am
#35
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Of course you are hurt, disillusioned, betrayed and angry as all hell. I understand that because I've been there and damn well bought the factory that makes the tee shirt. There is nothing that you can do about it. You love him but he is not happy in a heterosexual relationship and unless you are willing to be the third party in the marriage then you need out. It is possible that a good attorney can use his sexual preferences to get you a green card. Run, don't walk, to one and lay the facts on the table and don't hold back anything. If you have verified proof of his sexual preferences then be sure to bring that with you as well. If you don't have it, get it.
You've been wronged as a woman and as a person. You were used and duped into thinking that you were entering into a marriage where love, honor and respect were the groundwork for the future. Now it is time to take the anger and all the accompanying negativity and turn it around and use it to your advantage. If it means making his sexual preferences public knowledge, then that is what you will do both to the USCIS and to the divorce court. You be the one to file, not him. You be the one to state the grounds for the dissolution of your marriage.
My rule of thumb is when faced with a situation that hurts is to allow myself one week only on the pity pot and then get up, wipe up the mess and get one with living.
Rete
You've been wronged as a woman and as a person. You were used and duped into thinking that you were entering into a marriage where love, honor and respect were the groundwork for the future. Now it is time to take the anger and all the accompanying negativity and turn it around and use it to your advantage. If it means making his sexual preferences public knowledge, then that is what you will do both to the USCIS and to the divorce court. You be the one to file, not him. You be the one to state the grounds for the dissolution of your marriage.
My rule of thumb is when faced with a situation that hurts is to allow myself one week only on the pity pot and then get up, wipe up the mess and get one with living.
Rete
Originally Posted by kittya2004
Yeha but rete what do I do right now I cannot cry enough and just spoke to his friend who has already told me he loves me whiuch I just laughed off again and asked if he was bent or straight he assures me he is straight and well he has 5 kids so maybe he is lol. He told me not all men are like and now I hate using this word ( my husband ) and that he wants to sponsor me to stay what are my options there he has his own business and wants to do it through there. He sees that i dnt deseve all of this. What can I do I am losing it here and my husband is now in MS and refuses to talk to me i just tried. I am so screwed How do you deal with something like that when i still love him ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
How do you deal with something like that when i still love him ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Aug 26th 2004, 10:54 am
#36
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Joined: Aug 2004
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Re: AOS Case Denial
So what do I do as far as USCIS is concerned the lady didn't say any about deportation proceedings ( yet ) Ooh believe me I went into his email and the stupid S--T didn't cover his tracks there. I have about 9 photos of potential partners that he has been talking to so he is even playing his man friend in MS lmao sorry but I am going to go to where he used to work tomorrow and look on his work computer and see if there is anything there either. AS far as an attorney i can't work anymore but will again contact the charity organisations and see if they can help me with this one lol. Rete yes I do feel betrayed because I wanted a life and kids with him. Would you know of the TX divorce laws at all as I know I have to do this and soon? Also Rete how in the heck can his sexual preference help me with a green card he likes men period that is all there is too it and I need to take it in completely and accept that he used me for his own selfish gain of his mothers love and acceptance. Talking to her has been very insightful but very hurtful also. Again Rete thank you you are truly an assett to this forum as well as everyone else who has posted to me today.
Originally Posted by Rete
Of course you are hurt, disillusioned, betrayed and angry as all hell. I understand that because I've been there and damn well bought the factory that makes the tee shirt. There is nothing that you can do about it. You love him but he is not happy in a heterosexual relationship and unless you are willing to be the third party in the marriage then you need out. It is possible that a good attorney can use his sexual preferences to get you a green card. Run, don't walk, to one and lay the facts on the table and don't hold back anything. If you have verified proof of his sexual preferences then be sure to bring that with you as well. If you don't have it, get it.
You've been wronged as a woman and as a person. You were used and duped into thinking that you were entering into a marriage where love, honor and respect were the groundwork for the future. Now it is time to take the anger and all the accompanying negativity and turn it around and use it to your advantage. If it means making his sexual preferences public knowledge, then that is what you will do both to the USCIS and to the divorce court. You be the one to file, not him. You be the one to state the grounds for the dissolution of your marriage.
My rule of thumb is when faced with a situation that hurts is to allow myself one week only on the pity pot and then get up, wipe up the mess and get one with living.
Rete
You've been wronged as a woman and as a person. You were used and duped into thinking that you were entering into a marriage where love, honor and respect were the groundwork for the future. Now it is time to take the anger and all the accompanying negativity and turn it around and use it to your advantage. If it means making his sexual preferences public knowledge, then that is what you will do both to the USCIS and to the divorce court. You be the one to file, not him. You be the one to state the grounds for the dissolution of your marriage.
My rule of thumb is when faced with a situation that hurts is to allow myself one week only on the pity pot and then get up, wipe up the mess and get one with living.
Rete
Last edited by kittya2004; Aug 26th 2004 at 10:58 am.
Aug 26th 2004, 11:04 am
#37
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Originally Posted by Rete
Actually that testing should be done whenever any 1/2 of a couple is unfaithful regardless of their sexual preference. AIDS/HIV is not strictly a gay man's disease and prevalent in hetrosexual couples as well.
It is also, IMHO, a test that everyone should have prior to starting a new physical relationship and one that you should demand to see the results of from the person you are interested in having the physical relationship with. If they do not wish to comply, then you don't need their selfishness and uncaring in your life.
Rete
It is also, IMHO, a test that everyone should have prior to starting a new physical relationship and one that you should demand to see the results of from the person you are interested in having the physical relationship with. If they do not wish to comply, then you don't need their selfishness and uncaring in your life.
Rete
You're right, and ITA. It may sound like being paranoid to some, but I think it's one of the most loving acts a couple can do for one another.
Dawn, who did it
Aug 26th 2004, 11:10 am
#38
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Re: AOS Case Denial
ITA???? lost me there[
QUOTE=psychobabbler1]You're right, and ITA. It may sound like being paranoid to some, but I think it's one of the most loving acts a couple can do for one another.
Dawn, who did it[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=psychobabbler1]You're right, and ITA. It may sound like being paranoid to some, but I think it's one of the most loving acts a couple can do for one another.
Dawn, who did it[/QUOTE]
Aug 26th 2004, 11:27 am
#39
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Don't know a damn thing about Texas divorce laws. However in the area of the USCIS and a possible way of using this to your advantage, of course, an experienced immigration attorney is the one you need right now. Try the Catholic Charities. It can be used to show that you were duped into marriage and that you were sincere in marrying your husband but that your husband was using you to put another face on his life for society's or his family's sake. By doing so, he abused you emotionally and stripped you of your self-esteem and a means of financial support. I'm not an attorney, but a good one can embellish those small "arguments" and expand your case so that you might be granted residency here. He can also see that your case is reopened and while it is pending you can get an EAD so that you can work and support yourself.
BTW, ITA would mean I totally agree
Rete
BTW, ITA would mean I totally agree
Rete
Aug 26th 2004, 11:31 am
#40
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Re: AOS Case Denial
[QUOTE=kittya2004]ITA???? lost me there[
I Totally Agree. :-)
I Totally Agree. :-)
Aug 26th 2004, 11:41 am
#41
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Okay thanx Rete I will contact the organisations again in the morning and see where or even if they can help me.
Originally Posted by Rete
Don't know a damn thing about Texas divorce laws. However in the area of the USCIS and a possible way of using this to your advantage, of course, an experienced immigration attorney is the one you need right now. Try the Catholic Charities. It can be used to show that you were duped into marriage and that you were sincere in marrying your husband but that your husband was using you to put another face on his life for society's or his family's sake. By doing so, he abused you emotionally and stripped you of your self-esteem and a means of financial support. I'm not an attorney, but a good one can embellish those small "arguments" and expand your case so that you might be granted residency here. He can also see that your case is reopened and while it is pending you can get an EAD so that you can work and support yourself.
BTW, ITA would mean I totally agree
Rete
BTW, ITA would mean I totally agree
Rete
Aug 26th 2004, 11:53 am
#42
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Just thought I'd post a link to the divorce laws in Texas so you can read up on some of the details.
I'm sorry to hear of all that you've been through and hope that, no matter what happens now, your future is happier and brighter, wherever you end up living.
Take care
Tam
I'm sorry to hear of all that you've been through and hope that, no matter what happens now, your future is happier and brighter, wherever you end up living.
Take care
Tam
Aug 26th 2004, 12:27 pm
#43
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Originally Posted by Rete
It is also, IMHO, a test that everyone should have prior to starting a new physical relationship and one that you should demand to see the results of from the person you are interested in having the physical relationship with. If they do not wish to comply, then you don't need their selfishness and uncaring in your life.
Rete
Rete
I'm sorry to hear of the OP's problem. Don't know for sure if what happened to her has ever been used successfully in a battered spouse situation/case. Might be worth looking into. The OP might find free legal counsel somewhere (and I believe the AILA site lists many free legal aid organizations), or she might find an attorney willing to do the work and accept as many small payments as necessary, for as long as necessary.
[Remember the old Seinfeld episode where Elaine tried talking her gay male friend into playing for our team (heterosexual team)?]
Last edited by Matthew Udall; Aug 26th 2004 at 12:41 pm.
Aug 26th 2004, 12:52 pm
#44
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Originally Posted by Matthew Udall
[Remember the old Seinfeld episode where Elaine tried talking her gay male friend into playing for our team (heterosexual team)?]
I hated Seinfeld. Never found him funny let alone the idiots that worked with him. I knew Elaine's real life persona from working with her Uncle Louis-Dreyfus years back.
Aug 26th 2004, 12:52 pm
#45
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Re: AOS Case Denial
Lol Udall i will try anything right now lol
thank you very much
thank you very much
Originally Posted by Matthew Udall
Yesterday on the AOL main screen (where they post some news stories), there was a bit about on-line affairs and whether or not that is cheating. I read some of the related news items, and an author of one of the articles actually suggested that when starting out a new relationship, one should hire a private investigator to check out this potential partner before getting too involved. Seems a little like overkill to me, although I don't have any problems with your HIV test cautionary recommendation.
I'm sorry to hear of the OP's problem. Don't know for sure if what happened to her has ever been used successfully in a battered spouse situation/case. Might be worth looking into. The OP might find free legal counsel somewhere (and I believe the AILA site lists many free legal aid organizations), or she might find an attorney willing to do the work and accept as many small payments as necessary, for as long as necessary.
[Remember the old Seinfeld episode where Elaine tried talking her gay male friend into playing for our team (heterosexual team)?]
I'm sorry to hear of the OP's problem. Don't know for sure if what happened to her has ever been used successfully in a battered spouse situation/case. Might be worth looking into. The OP might find free legal counsel somewhere (and I believe the AILA site lists many free legal aid organizations), or she might find an attorney willing to do the work and accept as many small payments as necessary, for as long as necessary.
[Remember the old Seinfeld episode where Elaine tried talking her gay male friend into playing for our team (heterosexual team)?]
