SwissMan

It's not in my character to come into a place and pick fights or alienate people. So if someone has an issue that's specific to me, I'll seek to resolve it. If someone is bothered and chooses to express they're annoyance towards me there's little I can do since I've done nothing wrong.
If you read my opening post you'll see that I did use the search. I was looking for that specific thread and couldn't find it.
Additionally, I've never seen anything wrong with reaching out to people. I've read several posts here and have found many people here to be truly warm and engaging. That they choose to help people like me to reduce the confusion of threading my way through government red tape and guide me around pit falls so I can be with the woman I love, that much sooner, is very kind and generous of them. Those people are why this forum exists and I'm so glad they're here.

The ones who routinely gripe, whine, and insult contribute nothing by way of knowledge or even encouragement. They click on 'reply' for no other reason than to say something mean spirited. So even though I see their words on the screen, they are just like their posts, meaningless.

I know that some long time members here may feel jaded because in the past they've extended themselves in a honest effort to be helpful and because the person they were helping didn't like what they heard, they were nasty and abusive.
But that's not me. The whole reason I came to this forum in the first place was because I recognized that people here knew far more than I did. If I'm told something I don't like it's my responsibility to deal with it, not kill the messenger.
So I would kindly ask that if someone is feeling a bit sharp or instantly pigeon holes me as yet another lazy, clueless, boob wanting everyone else to do all the work for them, I respectfully ask they take a little time to learn who I am instead of branding me with a generic label. And if that is too much to ask then simply move on to the next thread and don't reply.

To the many others who make this forum what it is I hope you realize the extent of how your help changes the lives of so many. Sure, it's not impossible to figure out how to fill out the forms and know the laws and all that. But that's like finding your way through the dark with a candle. Your knowledge and insight is like a bright floodlight. The path still needs to be walked but you do so much more to make sure nobody gets lost along the way.

Noorah101

My thinking is that the K-1 visa only takes about 6 - 8 months to process, going through London. She will have to be back in London in time to submit her visa application (once she's notified to do so), and then get her medical done and attend the interview. So that doesn't even really leave much time for her to visit the USA, anyway.

Look at this, for example: OK, her divorce becomes final, so at that time you file the I-129F. Around that time, she comes to the USA to visit for 85 days, and goes back to the UK. After that, it will ONLY be another few months until she has the K-1 in hand and can move to the USA for good. Surely you guys can manage a few months apart?

After writing that, I suppose you are looking for a way to visit each other while waiting for her divorce to finalize? If that's the case, you'll just have to take turns visiting each other, allowing 90+ days in between visits. And you'll just have to be aware that on one of the visits (going either direction, actually), someone CAN be turned away at the border. It's one of the pitfalls of a long-distance relationship. Just keep the long-term goal in mind, and don't worry about how often you can see each other while waiting. If the relationship is meant to be, you'll survive the long stretches apart.

Best Wishes,
Rene

meauxna

Did I read you say that you live in California?

You are banking a lot on our generic 8-10 month average. What if your case is in one of the bursts that gets petition approved in 6 weeks? Or falls into a black hole of some kind at petition alone takes 8 months?

I'd recommend that you stay flexible, and understand that your partner can't live in the US until she has her K-1 visa. All time before that is as a visitor and she should conduct herself as one. Whoever posted earlier about multiple shorter trips is probably on target.

From years of reading people's stories, I recommend that she use the time in the UK to work and save up money (she will not be working in the US for as much as 6 months), reading up on the pesky life details (how to get a DL, it's not as easy as you think) and completing her 'stuff' at home including relationships and parting. You only need to read a while in the USA Lifestyle forums here to see that love isn't enough to keep life going and that the US & UK are two totally foreign countries. We don't even speak the same language. And while you might think that you two are the ones with the magic formula who've cracked all these problems... I'll just say, they are still and always there.

Overengineering any immigration process is an exercise in frustration. Nothing goes exactly as you expect it, so just keep reading, asking questions and gaining information (both of you). All will start to reveal itself, but I'd probably not go forward with your plan as outlined, back to back 90 day stays.

And don't rise to the bait of a couple of people who said something in a way you didn't like. It doesn't matter and they probably won't listen. One benefit to posting in the marriage based forum here is that more people will be empathetic to the looooove side of your story.
You're welcome to post there any time.

Thanks for acknowledging the important role our posts can have in someone's life. It's an important reminder in more than one way.

SwissMan

Yes, I'm in southern California. As far as the 6 weeks or 8 months all I can say is I dare to dream and hope not. haha

It's clear the visa waiver is like a Magic Eight Ball. There's no way to know. Clearly not the answer I hoped for, but as my father would say, 'there you go'.
Still, I'm grateful for everyone's candor and sharing with me.


I don't think I have the magic formula. hehe She may be the greatest woman in the world, but believing in magic, why that's just silly.

Folinskyinla

Hi:

I've read this thread twice. The problem is that you give the very definite impression that you seek to have your beloved spend almost all of her time with you in the United States while awaiting the process to go through. You propose that she do it on the VWT.

If my understanding is correct, it is no wonder people are upset with you. You come across as quite selfish in putting her at risk of immigration consequences. The danger point will almost always be at the POE and she could easily slip over the "pre-concieved intnet" arena into the "fraud" arena. I don't think she wants that to happen.

Good luck.

SarahG

My brother in law has done that a lot in the last few years as he went to US a lot from UK. Stayed 90 days on WVP and then returned to UK. In the end he was stopped by immigration last Spring and they questioned him at length. He now has to have a visitors visa to go to the US. He got one at the end of summer and then went over again. He said it would be easier to go on WVP but apparently the frequency of his visits were raising flags with immigration and they thought he was not simply a tourist and was possibly working or something. He has not told me the full story as he knows I think he was abusing the system. He goes over to film stuff and take photos for his work as he is a freelance photographer/film maker. He edits things he has filmed and finds models to photograph.

SwissMan

"gasp!" oh my gosh, you're right. I didn't see it before. Why would I want that? I must have been out of my mind.

It's not.

Yes, that's me. Very selfish. Do we know each other?


I hadn't realized you were in such constant communication with her. Please do me a favor. Next time you talk to her would you also ask her what color she wants me to paint the living room walls? There's a good lad. Thanks.

ian-mstm

It sounds as though "they" were right... because he, "goes over to film stuff and take photos for his work as he is a freelance photographer/film maker." It certainly sounds as though he's been working in the US without a proper visa?

Ian

ian-mstm

Word to the wise... it's probably not a good idea to go off our resident immigration attorney - someone who has a much better grasp of what can and does happen than you do! He makes a fine living cleaning up the mistakes made by those who think they know better.

Ian

Duncan Roberts

Good job. One of the few people on the board who are qualified to give you professional advice and you choose to act like a petulant child and essentially mock him. I'm going to guess you can kiss any future words of advice goodbye.

I actually think he has a point. Not once has your girlfriend posted, it's just you trying to see if you can get her past immigration. At the end of the day, if anything happens it will be to her, not you, so it's a reasonable point to bring up.

crg

Obviously you suspected that it may not be appropriate to "play house" 90 days in, 5 days out, repeat or else you wouldn't be asking for some hand-holding or for someone online to tell you that is acceptable behavior.

We're not going to tell you that premeditated abuse of the Visa Waiver Program is lawful, and that there is no risk to her because it's not true.

You want to bring her to the US to live. There is a process for that. You are unable to begin that process because she is married to someone else. That doesn't mean you can circumvent that legally required process by having her move in while using the VWP while she waits for the divorce.

I find it impossible to believe that she can maintain the foreign residence and maintain ties to a foreign country that she has no intention to abandon. Both of those things are required in order to be eligible to travel under the VWP.

So you can either abuse the VWP, or you can wait and do it the right way. She will either get away with it, or she won't. If she gets busted and denied entry for immigrant intent, or immigration fraud then it could add *years* to the immigrant visa process. Your story can serve as a warning to the other people who consider pulling this same scam.

The VWP is for visiting. It's for seeing Mickey Mouse, or attending a conference. It's not the
"I'll just move in anyway because I can't qualify for the visa I really need Program".

ihe

In the 8 years I've been criss crossing I always tell them that I'm going to see my girlfriend (I never say fiancee). Sometimes they ask whether there are any plans to get married. I say no. Never had any problem ...except when travelling via Charlotte but I have posted about before.

Noorah101

Everyone's case is so different. Years ago, I had a male friend from the UK who used to come to the USA for about 8 weeks each summer. He stayed with me, but we weren't dating and had no intention of a relationship or marriage. He visited each year successfully for about 3 years in a row. On the 4th year, they detained him at JFK and even called me to ask what our relationship is. They let him through, but he never came back to visit again....not sure if they marked his passport, or he just didn't think it was worth all that hassle.

Just goes to show, it doesn't have to be back-to-back visits that raise POE suspicions, it can just be any kind of repetative visiting.

Rene

welshgirl1

Swissman, please don't forget that the very large majority of us have been separated from the one we loved for long periods of time, for some months, and from what I have read for some people that has even stretched out to years. It is hard and painful and rubbish and annoying and soul crushing, but you can get through it, especially with the use of technology these days.

I still feel like such a novice on here. I went through the K1 visa process in the UK, and am now in the process of my AOS. It's only through the advice of people on this board that I have kept my sanity and overcome some of the fears Ive had! There are so many wise people on this board but at the end of the day it's your choice whether you follow the advice or not.

The answers may not be what you want to hear but it's just advice. If YOU want to allow your SO to put herself at risk of being put on a plane and flown back home then disregard it.

I was away from my now husband for 6 and a half months at the longest stretch - for others it will have been longer- and yes there were days it crushed me, I knew that I was not going to put myself at risk of being chucked back on a plane.

Also on a non-romantic note, things are tough being in the US. Your other half should use her time now to save money (as someone already said) and spend plenty of time with her friends and family while she can. It is so demeaning right now to have to ask my husband for money to go shopping, but then I've always been very independent until now!

Good luck to the both of you.

ihe

The reason I tell them I'm seeing my gf is because it pre-empts questions about why am I staying so long. Mind you over the last 4 years it has helped that I have always been able to show that I am a full time student in the UK.

Charlotte.... . on both occasions I got sent to secondary before being asked any questions... so no matter how cheap the airfare I don't fly through there.