When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
May 2nd 2017, 7:12 pm
#61
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
Its been great to get peoples input on this. Ive concluded my family and old friends have made their decisions. 8 years is a long time. So I need to put aside the old times and the history that goes with all that, its no longer relevant to my current life. I wont close the door totally, but I need to focus on my friends here. Which incidentally have stepped into the shoes of my old family, not just friends they have been great.
I have actually built a history with my "not so new" friends here now - a couple of us were reminiscing the other day - and we looked at each other laughed and said - we have a had a few good times havent we? So I think thats my answer.
I hope to get my two nephews over here in the next year or two - this will be my way of keeping some form of "blood family" connection open, So I think this is where i will focus my efforts on from here forward.
This forum is the only place to discuss things like this, as only fellow immigrants understand.
I have actually built a history with my "not so new" friends here now - a couple of us were reminiscing the other day - and we looked at each other laughed and said - we have a had a few good times havent we? So I think thats my answer.
I hope to get my two nephews over here in the next year or two - this will be my way of keeping some form of "blood family" connection open, So I think this is where i will focus my efforts on from here forward.
This forum is the only place to discuss things like this, as only fellow immigrants understand.
May 2nd 2017, 11:05 pm
#62
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
In MHO, I think that is the right attitude. I am trying to do the same, make friends here where I live, leave the door open for friends and family back in UK, but not get upset by any lack of effort on their part. Also, like you, I will make more effort on a smaller amount of family. Otherwise, it just seems you are beating your head against the wall and stressing out over lack of love coming over from the UK. You want to feel that real friends would phone and visit, but we all seem to live busy lives these days...
I have made some great genuine and caring friends here, many which will do anything to help me out in a situation, and as i said some of them have even stepped into my family's shoes as well as being good friends too. The only difference is that I dont have the history with them like i have with my family and some of my old friends. However this changes over time, time becomes history and friendship deepens.
I will never close the door on family and what were once close friends, but its time for them to communicate or pay a visit, ive done it for the last 8 years.
Last edited by Paul_Shepherd; May 2nd 2017 at 11:09 pm.
May 2nd 2017, 11:41 pm
#63
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
Somewhere in the UK there's a discussion about when relationships with family and friends started to fade after they left the country. 
May 3rd 2017, 12:02 am
#64
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
No that will be a year or so down the line when they find they dont get emails and messages from me like they used to, and it will be "oh he stayed in touch for a while and then disappeared off the radar; hes all taken with his Canadian friends now"
Errr... hello!! planes, phone lines and computer data etc fly/flow in both directions!! no? still not got the hint.....never mind.
I can hear it now! 
May 3rd 2017, 12:11 am
#65
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
There was a bloke I used to work with who complained about me not keeping in touch.
I used to email, ask about work - there had been a lot of changes since I left and I was genuinely interested - so he should have had plenty to say, I would read the Bristol paper so there was 'local' stuff to mention, I'd talk about some of the different things like Bristol's annual snow fall taking about 10 minutes to fall here
I think every email from him had "seen any polar bears yet" and about three other words.
I used to email, ask about work - there had been a lot of changes since I left and I was genuinely interested - so he should have had plenty to say, I would read the Bristol paper so there was 'local' stuff to mention, I'd talk about some of the different things like Bristol's annual snow fall taking about 10 minutes to fall here
I think every email from him had "seen any polar bears yet" and about three other words.
May 3rd 2017, 12:35 am
#66
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
There was a bloke I used to work with who complained about me not keeping in touch.
I used to email, ask about work - there had been a lot of changes since I left and I was genuinely interested - so he should have had plenty to say, I would read the Bristol paper so there was 'local' stuff to mention, I'd talk about some of the different things like Bristol's annual snow fall taking about 10 minutes to fall here
I think every email from him had "seen any polar bears yet" and about three other words.
I used to email, ask about work - there had been a lot of changes since I left and I was genuinely interested - so he should have had plenty to say, I would read the Bristol paper so there was 'local' stuff to mention, I'd talk about some of the different things like Bristol's annual snow fall taking about 10 minutes to fall here
I think every email from him had "seen any polar bears yet" and about three other words.
May 3rd 2017, 12:49 am
#67
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
There was a bloke I used to work with who complained about me not keeping in touch.
I used to email, ask about work - there had been a lot of changes since I left and I was genuinely interested - so he should have had plenty to say, I would read the Bristol paper so there was 'local' stuff to mention, I'd talk about some of the different things like Bristol's annual snow fall taking about 10 minutes to fall here
I think every email from him had "seen any polar bears yet" and about three other words.
I used to email, ask about work - there had been a lot of changes since I left and I was genuinely interested - so he should have had plenty to say, I would read the Bristol paper so there was 'local' stuff to mention, I'd talk about some of the different things like Bristol's annual snow fall taking about 10 minutes to fall here
I think every email from him had "seen any polar bears yet" and about three other words.
Ill come back to what i said in my initial post - its pure ignorance of what Canada is and what it could offer them as a visit. I had many friends that were pretty educated people - but maybe not that well travelled, even if they have managed to visit Canada, all they have seen is Toronto and Niagara Falls! As we know there is way more than that.
My sister for example said to me a couple of years ago....we would like to come and visit but we would have to try and coincide it with a trip to disney world in Florida! My first thought was WHY???? why would you want to go spend $$$$ on a crowded tourist park when you could spend time with me and a group of ready made friends in Canada, i have a boat, to go out for trips on, plus a friend who wants to invite us to his beautiful cottage on a lake and other activities,... why do you want to go the disney world????
They just dont get it.
Last edited by Paul_Shepherd; May 3rd 2017 at 12:53 am.
May 3rd 2017, 12:52 am
#68
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
A moose was seen in the street behind us, fireflies, nice colourful birds and a raccoon.
Oh...and a groundhog...I think
... but no bear, polar or otherwise.Maybe I should have headed each email "Polar Bear Watch" or something.
May 3rd 2017, 1:37 am
#69
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
My sister for example said to me a couple of years ago....we would like to come and visit but we would have to try and coincide it with a trip to disney world in Florida! My first thought was WHY???? why would you want to go spend $$$$ on a crowded tourist park when you could spend time with me and a group of ready made friends in Canada, i have a boat, to go out for trips on, plus a friend who wants to invite us to his beautiful cottage on a lake and other activities,... why do you want to go the disney world????
They just dont get it.
May 3rd 2017, 4:31 pm
#70
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
Anyway this post has really given me a lot to think about. Thanks to everyones input.
May 3rd 2017, 5:33 pm
#71
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
Ill come back to what i said in my initial post - its pure ignorance of what Canada is and what it could offer them as a visit. I had many friends that were pretty educated people - but maybe not that well travelled, even if they have managed to visit Canada, all they have seen is Toronto and Niagara Falls! As we know there is way more than that.
My sister for example said to me a couple of years ago....we would like to come and visit but we would have to try and coincide it with a trip to disney world in Florida! My first thought was WHY???? why would you want to go spend $$$$ on a crowded tourist park when you could spend time with me and a group of ready made friends in Canada, i have a boat, to go out for trips on, plus a friend who wants to invite us to his beautiful cottage on a lake and other activities,... why do you want to go the disney world????
They just dont get it.
May 3rd 2017, 5:45 pm
#74
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
I have to say that I don't get it either. If I was at home and I fancied sitting on a boat I'd go to Hyde Park and rent one. If I was going to spend a slab or money and use up some of my limited holiday time I'd want to go to an interesting destination. Disney doesn't do it for me but, if I was going to a lake in Ontario, I might split the trip with some days in NYC.
May 3rd 2017, 7:24 pm
#75
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Re: When did your relationship with UK friends and family start to fade
When I moved to Canada, I made a conscious decision to focus on Toronto, rather than Vancouver, as it would probably make it easier for me/guests to come and go from Heathrow (cost, travel time, frequency of flights, time zone). I think that has helped maintain the physical interaction over the years.
Other than that, time is a great leveller of relationships. Some relationships will fade irrespective of geography. The nearness of distance merely slows down or masks the inevitable.
Other than that, time is a great leveller of relationships. Some relationships will fade irrespective of geography. The nearness of distance merely slows down or masks the inevitable.