Vague invitations
 

Saw this on FB today and it reminded me of how much it is a pet hate of mine. Is it a canadian thing? I don't seem to remember anyone being so vague in the UK about making plans. Happens all the time here!

When friends invite us to their cottage, is it really an invite? - The Globe and Mail

Re: Vague invitations
 

It is not a Canadian thing, Brits do it as well (Brits in Canada anyway).

Re: Vague invitations
 

That's been my experience with people on here as well.

Re: Vague invitations
 

I agree. It is just a pleasantry.

Re: Vague invitations
 

Going back 40 years to our early days in Canada we quickly found out the so called 'pleasantry invite' was not an invite.

When some mentions the 'oh we should get together' or 'come over sometime' to the you can drop by anytime uninvited' ... it goes immediately to the ignore box.

If its an invite of 'what are you doing [time & date] because we'd like to have you here or meet up at that precise time & date'. Our first line response is always 'thanks, I'll check with the other half & we'll get back to you!'

Nine out of ten times we won't bother, because generally in Canada we find folks want something in return.

Call me an old fool, a sceptic or doubting Thomas - yes, I am

Re: Vague invitations
 

Indeed they do !

Re: Vague invitations
 

If they invite you over to 'discuss a great business opportunity' that would be 'perfect' for you my advice is to run and run fast.

Re: Vague invitations
 

Can't say I've ever experienced it, but I go out of my way to avoid people so conversations never start.... If I see someone I know, I turn around and walk the opposite way. I can't stand the small talk, pretend we like one another BS mumbo jumbo people feel compelled to do.

Re: Vague invitations
 

Why on earth would you make it your issue by walking away from the BS, why not piss them off, with a.....

Try this for the 'never want to interact with folks' ... I can do this because I'm old, but its for anyone at any age in any circumstance.

Straight ahead, looking right at them (their nose is a good point) straight face, no smile & if they pause or stop to speak - you answer with 'do I know you' or 'forgive me I cant stop, I'm on my way to an appointment, maybe next time'.... 'keep clam & march on'. Repeat several times.

Re: Vague invitations
 

Don't do this! You always seem like such a nice person online...I think you are in person? Yes, the BS Mumbo jumbo people go through the same thing as the nice ones...BUT there are nice people out there who are kind and caring.... sift them...don't dismiss them without a chance!

Re: Vague invitations
 

Good post bcmama. You've made me reconsider an invitation like this (one which never materialised) that has had me puzzled for about fifteen years. Normally I do take such expressions as social pleasantries, but occasionally when they are specific or come unexpectedly, I assume they are genuine...when probably they are not.

Re: Vague invitations
 

Love your honesty! I know how you feel.

Re: Vague invitations
 

Do you ever stop to think that maybe people do like you and are genuinely interested in how you are? I get that you might be shy and you don't want to talk but don't assume it's BS because of that.

I like many people and I like to know how people are. Yes there are people out there who might not like you and put on a front but they are fairly easy to weed out and being nice still costs nothing.

I've had those invitations... I don't think people mean to do it- they might genuinely want to invite you over but as I find back home and over here now, most of the time people with the kids are just genuinely busy and while their intentions are good they just don't get round to it. Take it with a pinch of salt and move on..

Re: Vague invitations
 

No, it is not a Canadian thing. It's done in Australia and in Britain and in any other place that people live.